Chapter 4
He had promised the Slytherins and himself that it would never happen again; it was just a fluke, a bad dream that if he tried hard enough, he could forget ever happened.
He knew that it was bullshit but a part of him had truly believed that if he wanted it bad enough he would never find himself in a situation like that again, that was until it of course happened again.
He had been having a fairly good day, even deciding to go to all of his classes for once. They had all gone well, he sat in the back of the room taking notes for the most part. Sure, he received glares and snide remarks from some Gryffindores and Hufflepuffs but that was to be expected.
Even though they were nearly three months into the year if anything the hate he received from the rest of the school had only increased. He had originally thought that it would calm down once they realized that he wasn't arguing back, he couldn't be more wrong.
They wanted a reaction out of him, for him to scream or yell, anything that they could later use against him. He had learned long ago from his relatives that giving the reaction they so desperately wanted would only make things worse for him.
So he took it all and waited for it to end. Soon enough they would get bored of him and move on to someone or something more interesting, he just needed to be patient.
___
He was sitting alone in one of the castle's many hidden passageways. It was his favorite of the ones he's found, it was a staircase with floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out over the forbidden forest. It was calming knowing that no one would find him, he could sit on the stairs looking at the sky and just breathe.
The rest of the school was at the Halloween feast which besides his first year he always skipped. It was insufferable to be around a room filled with people laughing and smiling when all you felt was dread.
The worst part was they expected him to be happy, it was the night his parents were killed. The night when he lost his chance at ever being normal and it was as if they all forgot.
Or maybe they just didn’t care.
Something always went wrong on Halloween since he had started at Hogwarts, so why would the habit break this year? He had hoped that going to classes would get whatever was coming over with, then he could spend the rest of the day resting. Of course, he had no such luck, his day had been painfully average.
Maybe he was just overthinking it, and nothing bad was coming. He was stupid to put so much stock that something was coming. It was finally late enough that he knew the feast would be over, it was past curfew so he was free to roam the halls as he pleased without the fear of being seen. He knew
Gryffindor would be parting, most Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs would be joining them in the tower so he didn’t bother to take out the map.
He wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings as he walked back to the room he was currently occupying which he realized might have been a mistake far too late to matter. He knew the castle like the back of his hand from so much time roaming the halls so he hadn't seen the point. Big mistake.
As he was turning into a corridor he walked head-first into a tall figure and promptly fell onto the floor.
Perfect, this was just perfect. Just his luck he ran into the one professor who wouldn’t take pity on him based on it being the day his parents died. Severus fucking Snape. He wasn’t stupid enough to believe that just because Snape had been ignoring him during class meant he would extend that pleasantry to Harry wandering the halls past curfew.
There was no way for him to get out of this situation without receiving detention so he didn’t waste the effort of making up an excuse, at that point he would just be embarrassing himself as well as Snape's intelligence. Not that he had much but it was the principle of the matter. He picked himself off the ground and took a step back away from Snape who hadn’t moved, just staring at him.
Snape turned his nose smearing as he drawled, “Mr. Potter care to enlighten me on why you’re out wandering the halls past curfew.”
Being forced to see Snape once a day was already far too much in Harry’s opinion so he told the relative truth, “I needed some air, so I went to the astronomy tower. I lost track of time, which is why I’m just heading back to my common room now Professor.”
Fuck, even he realized how unbelievable that sounded. So much for sounding like he was telling the truth. He wasn’t even remotely close to the Astronomy tower or his common room. He could have come up with any excuse, or at least one that didn’t immediately sound like bullshit but no. He chose this one.
Just fantastic.
Snape merely rolled his eyes, “I want you to try that again and this time tell me the real reason you are out of your dorm. I wouldn’t lie again Mr. Potter unless you want more detentions than I already plan to assign you.”
Wow, coming from Snape that almost sounded nice, he had expected far worse. “Sorry professor, I was coming back from the infirmary. I felt unwell after the feast so I got a stomach soother. I was just heading to the kitchens since I didn’t eat much during the feast. I know it’s passed curfew which I apologize for, it won’t happen again.”
There, that sounded believable. Why would Snape think to question that? Knowing him he would still get detention but he could live with that.
Snape took a step closer as he growled, “What did I tell you about lying to me boy, I know you never went to the feast yo-”
With that, Harry shut down. He tried to breathe through the panic that suddenly flooded him, he instinctually stepped out of arms reach from Snape who only continued to get closer as he backed away.
Boy.
His uncle always called him boy. Until he went to school for the first time he had thought his name was boy. It was all he knew. His aunt had called him over the night before his first day and told him that his name was Harry Potter and to make sure he remembered it, that there would be consequences he would regret if he slipped up.
Still, the only time he was called Harry was at Hogwarts, it was either that or Mr. Potter. Either was better than the alternative which did nothing besides make his skin crawl. It held the memories he was trying to leave in his past.
He was currently lost in his head, unable to stay in the present. His mind was filled with slurs, hands that burned, and nails digging into his arm unrelenting. He had no way to ground himself, unable to stop as he receded further and further into his mind.
He knew that if he kept this up he would black out. He couldn’t let that happen, being left helpless and completely alone with Snape was an unbearable thought. Yet he knew with the way he was left drifting it was inevitable. He backed into the corridor wall, slowly dropping to the ground, putting his head between his knees trying with everything in him to get back to reality.
He tried to focus on the blur of Snape's harsh words being thrown at him with no such luck.
Snape wasn’t with his relatives, he was safe at Hogwarts. He wouldn’t be back with them for another seven months, then he only had two years left until he was out for good. Then he would either be dead or alone. Either way, he was free.
He felt his eyes drifting shut as his heart felt as if it was beating out of his chest.
___
“Potter, Potter, Potter, I swear to Merlin if you don’t open your eyes.”
He was started into consciousness by a persistent voice in his ear. Maybe the last year and a half had just been a nightmare and this was Ron trying to wake him up for breakfast. Just like old times.
He felt tired, exhausted fit better but that implied he couldn’t keep going. He was nothing if not persistent, when he had nothing left to give he still didn’t stop. If he stopped he knew he would never get back up. Why was it he was still lying in bed? He should get up and go to breakfast with his friends so they wouldn’t be left waiting any longer.
Wait, Ron never called him Potter. This wasn’t right, it couldn’t be.
He slowly opened his eyes to see a room full of people staring back at him. This was the second time he found himself in the Slytherin common room and it was already getting old. He was in the middle of what looked to be their Halloween party which meant of course that nearly the whole house was in the common room when he arrived.
Just his luck. Why did this keep happening to him? First running into Snape now this, and worst of all Snape would never leave Harry alone now that he disappeared into thin air in the middle of a conversation with him.
Oh Merlin, he was in so much trouble once Snape found him. Even worse it’s not like he could explain why it happened. Snape's guess was as good as his own of why he kept apparating to the Slytherins. He was completely and utterly fucked.
Harry raised his head putting his best attempt at a smile on and said, “Hey guys! How's the party going?”
Malfoy looked even more annoyed at that, “What the fuck Potter! I was worried you were dying you prat, and all you say is hey.”
Over exaggeration much, “Okay Malfoy I clearly wasn’t dying, and if you thought I was that's on you for not being able to have critical thinking skills. You might want to rethink your career path as a healer if you can't even tell the difference between if someone is passed out or dead.”
Pansy Parkinson suddenly stepped closer breaking up the tension between the pair, “Merlin, you both will argue about anything. Draco drop the dramatics, and Potter drop the “I'm fine” act, it’s not fooling anyone and it’s honestly insulting that you thought it would.”
“How dare you, Pansy!” Draco gasped, “ But you’re right, let's get back to the important part. Potter, what happened, are you okay? You said you passed out, should I take you to the hospital wing?”
How was Harry supposed to get out of this? He barely did the first time, now it seemed unlikely if not impossible with the number of people crowding the room. He had to give them something to leave him alone. Maybe he could play the dead parents card, it was Halloween after all, so he might as well use it to his advantage.
He put on his best I’m trying to be strong but I’m going through something face and said, “Yeah I’m alright. It’s just you know what today is, with it being the anniversary of my parent's death and all that, it's just really hard to not miss them today. You know how it is, I’m just really wishing they were here with me, and I could have gotten to know them. When I said I passed out I meant in the sense of sleeping not like passed out passed out. I don’t know why I ended up in your common room again but I apologize.”
The common room went deadly quiet, he thought it worked. Who would question the grieving orphan?
Parkinson that’s who, out of every way she could have reacted, he could never have guessed she would start laughing at him. Yet that was the very response he received.
What. The. Fuck.
“Potter you're kidding, right? You know that we are in the same year which means that I have seen you every Halloween for the last four years. Sure, you looked a bit down but you haven’t once cried or done the whole “I miss them so much” spiel before right now. So cut the shit and tell us what happened, we can’t help you if we don’t know what's going on.”
Well, it was worth a shot. He could tell them the bare minimum and then leave, they all knew he walked the halls past curfew so it would be believable.
He grimaced as he asked, “What are the chances Snape comes here?”
Malfoy looked confused as he responded, “Not likely because he knows we're having a party, what’s it to you, Potter?”
“Well I was wandering the halls when I ran into Snape, he said I was going to have detention for the foreseeable future since it’s past curfew so I ran. But as I said it was passed curfew and I was getting tired so I decided to sleep in an empty room instead of going back to Gryffindor Tower. Then I woke up with you shouting in my ear. Thanks for that by the way, it’s certainly a wonderful way to wake up.”
Malfoy scoffed as if he knew what he said was a lie but didn’t call him out on it, “Snape won’t think to come looking here for you, if you don’t want to run into him again you can crash here for the night. We were just cleaning up from the party now anyway. You can stay in my dorm or the common room, it's up to you.”
There was no way in hell he was going to sleep with the Slytherins but at least this time they weren’t questioning why or how he got into the common room. Or worst of all forcing him to stay the night so a wins a win.
He picked himself off the ground, “You know it's late and it’s probably for the best if I get back to the tower before Fred and George start to worry. Thanks for the offer and everything but I’ll start heading back now.”
Malfoy nodded in acceptance, seemingly not wanting to push the matter seeing how the last time he tried went, “Then at least let me walk you back Potter, if Snape sees me he’ll let us both go.”
“It’s really fine Malfoy I can find the way back on my own, I doubt I’ll run into Snape for a second time. It’s late and I’m sure you want to finish up your party, don’t let me ruin your fun.”
There was no way in hell he was ever going back to the Gryffindor Tower, he needed to think of some excuse for Malfoy to let him go alone.
Farley apparently felt the need to butt in as she said, “Potter either go with Malfoy or stay here, but I can’t have you walking the halls alone at night.”
How hypocritical was that, not even a month ago she had let him off for the same thing she was now telling him not to do as if it was dangerous all of a sudden. But if he left with Malfoy he could probably just ditch him like he had the first time so he might as well get on with it.
“Fine Malfoy let's go.” He muttered as he pushed himself off the ground and walked past the group of onlookers.
Malfoy quickly followed behind him muttering, “Fucking hell Potter slow down for a second will you, don’t think you’re going to get away from me as easily this time.”
They walked in silence to the tower. It was only once they reached the fat lady that Harry realized how screwed he was. He had no excuse to not go in and there was no way Malfoy wasn’t going to leave alone him until he went in.
Maybe the tower would be empty, it was late and there was a chance the party would already be over.
Maybe Malfoy wouldn’t stop to make sure he really went inside, he could just wait outside until he was gone then find an empty room. “Well, I would say thanks for walking me back except for the fact that I didn’t ask you to and you invited yourself along, Merlin knows why.”
Malfoy didn’t so much as blink as he responded, “You know you could have just said nothing like a normal person and been already inside of your common room by now, but then again when have you ever been normal Potter.”
Harry couldn’t help but put on a mock pout as he said, “Don’t worry Malfoy you won’t see me for a while after this, and I won’t be making any more surprise visits to your common room anytime soon. I know how disappointing that will be for you as seeing me’s clearly the highlight of your day.”
Malfoy just signed, “Yeah, I’m sure you won’t Potter.”
Harry tried to get the courage to even think about walking into the tower. He knew he would have to go in sooner or later, but he couldn’t bring himself to take another step closer.
He took one final deep breath and without looking back at Malfoy slowly swung the portrait open as he stepped through the door. The second the door shut he knew he made a huge mistake.
The common room was filled with what looked like nearly everyone from every house besides Slytherin, he watched with dawning horror as they all turned their heads around to stare at him. Not just staring at him but glaring, and whispering, he was frozen in place.
He was completely and utterly fucked.