Draco Malfoy has a Death Wish
"What do you think he'll show us today?" Hermione asked as they made their way to the Headmaster's office for their second meeting. It was nearing the Christmas holidays, and Dumbledore wanted to see them once more before they all went back to Grimmauld.
Ron shrugged "Who knows? One of his memories of Moldy at school, maybe?"
They reached the Griffin and Harry opened his mouth to speak, but before he could the Griffin had already opened the entrance.
"Please, just go up." He begged. Harry looked mildly disappointed. Ron and Hermione shared a confused look but didn't ask - there were some things they were happy to be kept in the dark about.
"Evening Headmaster!" Harry said cheerfully, knocking on the door at the top of the staircase and entering without waiting for permission, Ron and Hermione behind him.
"Evening Harry, Mr Weasley, Miss Granger. I thought perhaps we should take a look at another memory today, one belonging to an old friend of mine." Dumbledore selected a vial from his cabinet, the name 'Bob Odgen' scrawled on the label.
"You stole his memory?" Harry gasped. "You criminal! You're just as bad as my house elves!" Ron bit back a laugh and Hermione sighed loudly.
Dumbledore chuckled. "No, Harry, it was given to me willingly, I assure you. However, we will need to discuss whatever you meant by that house elf comment in due course. Now, this is the memory of a man named Bob Odgen."
The memory itself was quite boring. He went into a not a very nice nice house with some nasty looking people called the Gaunts, who treated the daughter like a squib even though Harry saw her cleaning with magic when no one was watching. Harry could relate to that - no one asked her if she had magic, so why should she tell them? It made total sense!
"Oooh, parseltongue!" Harry announced eagerly when the Gaunt men started hissing to one another.
"Care to translate?" Dumbledore asked hopefully.
Harry waved a dismissive hand. "Not really, they're only talking about taxes. It's so dreary it might send you off to sleep if I translate. Also, is that Slytherin's locket?"
Dumbledore blinked. "I believe so, yes. How did you know?" Harry froze, but luckily Ron was there to save the day with one of Harry's favourite tactics- diversion.
"So these guys are descendants of Slytherin? Are you sure? They don't live very lavishly." Ron said, scrunching up his nose at the dirty house. He was right, of course - the house in a very sorry state indeed. Even Hermione, usually unflappable, looked mildly disgusted as they watched the two male Gaunts argue with Bob Odgen.
"Guys, look!" Harry exclaimed, running to the window. "That's the house I saw in my dream before fourth year! And that's the graveyard Moldyshorts resurrected himself in!"
"See, that's a nice house! Surely the descendants of a literal founder should be living there." Ron added, hands on hips and looking very severe.
Dumbledore smiled. "Alas, that manor actually belongs to a muggle family, known as the Riddles."
"Is Tom Riddle the guy the girl has been watching out of the window this entire time?" Harry asked innocently. Dumbledore looked surprised.
"Er, yes, he is."
"Thing One and Thing Two don't look impressed."
"Marvolo and Morfin Gaunt, Harry." Dumbledore corrected.
"Nah, I prefer Thing One and Two. Oh, that's not very nice!" They watched as Marvolo tore into his daughter, Merope, and Bob Odgen gave Morfin a warning. Or arrested him, Harry wasn't really paying attention.
They left the memory, and Dumbledore invited them to sit. The three sixth years sat opposite Dumbledore at his desk, none of them looking particularly surprised or confused or any of the other emotions Dumbledore had been expecting,
"So?" He prompted. "What did you think?"
"Moldyshorts' parents." Harry said, leaning his chair back. Minnie wasn't there to tell him off, so it was fine. "A secret not-squib and muggle. Love potions definitely involved." Hermione nodded solemnly in agreement.
Dumbledore frowned. "This was supposed to be something you didn't know, Harry. Are you telling me you already had this information?" Harry rolled his eyes.
"Dobby and Kreacher run an underground house-elf gossip ring, I found out all about Moldy's problematic family history ages ago. Also, the name Tom Riddle was sort of a huge giveaway. You could've figured out this whole thing purely from context clues." Harry blinked innocently up at Dumbledore, avoiding direct eye contact.
"And you didn't think to inform me?" Dumbledore questioned.
"You didn't ask. Besides, you clearly already knew, you taught the guy!" Harry pointed out.
Dumbledore looked at Hermione and Ron. "You two?"
"Harry tells us everything." Ron said with an offhanded shrug. "Well, usually. But in fairness, we do ask him."
"It's the only rule." Hermione added. "You don't ask, you don't get."
"Also, isn't this all public knowledge?" Harry asked. Dumbledore shook his head.
"I do not believe so, no."
Harry frowned. "Interesting." Then he yawned.
"Well, that was all for tonight, I'll see the three of you again in a couple of weeks."
"Bye Gandalf!" Harry skipped from the office. Dumbledore looked at Hermione, who sighed.
"Read Lord of the Rings." She said, before following Harry, Ron behind her.
Dumbledore unwrapped a sherbet lemon, lost in thought.
~
"Harry, are you crazy!" Hermione shrieked, hitting him with the newspaper in her hand. "It's like you want to get killed! Moldyshorts is going to go ballistic!"
"Ha, you used his nickname!" Harry giggled. Hermione hit him again. "Ouch! Look, I'm not the one that tells Rita what to write anymore, I've left that all up to Ginny and Kreacher. If they chose to give her Moldy's backstory that's none of my business."
"She writes for the quibbler now anyway. And no-one really trusts the quibbler fully." Daphne added, making sure Luna wasn't in earshot. "Not Death Eaters at least. And Moldy will have to be careful of his reaction because if he flips out, he makes it look like the truth."
"It is the truth!" Harry exclaimed.
"Yeah, but only us and Dumbledore and maybe Snape know that." Neville reminded him.
"And Sirius and Remus. Oh, and Dudley." Harry added. He loved his two-way mirror, although he's pretty sure Sirius and Remus were sorely regretting giving it to him.
"Dudley? Your awful muggle cousin?" Ron asked incredulously.
"Yeah, he's nice now. Don't worry, I think he's Dobby's new best friend so he's very protected. Also I give him fake names, so he doesn't really have a clue what I'm talking about anyway. And I put a fidelius on Privet Drive with Sirius during the summer, so Moldy will never find them!"
"What about when he's at muggle school?" Neville asked.
"College? Dobby's handling it. I don't ask questions, the less I know about Dobby's activities the better. I think he might be a criminal." Harry didn't seem bothered by that at all. His two house elves were awesome, even if they were crazy kleptomaniac life-coaches with a tendency to gossip like old women.
Draco snorted. "Dobby always was a bit mental." Harry gave Draco a reproachful look.
"Parkinson is looking really ill, still." Daphne said softly, looking over at the Slytherin table. Pansy was sat alone, picking at her food.
"Probably cracking under the pressure of killing Dumbledore." Harry said. "Think we should adopt her, Daphne? Or is she too far gone?"
Daphne shrugged. "I'm not sure. Depends what Moldy has threatened her with."
Astoria and Ginny shared a look. Hermione frowned at them. "What do you two know?"
"She's been going to the Room of Requirement a lot." Ginny said quietly. "Me, Tori, and Lue go up there more than you guys, to practice duelling, and there's been several times we couldn't get in."
"Oh, really? I guess the room can only do one thing at once." Hermione theorised.
"Yeah. Once time we just sort of waited and Pansy came out, she looked like she'd been crying. I don't even think she registered our presence." Astoria added, giving the Slytherin girl a funny look.
"She's got lots of nargles." Luna said dreamily, joining them at the Gryffindor table.
"There isn't much we can do, really." Draco pointed out. "Even if she is, none of us are particularly close with her, so she won't tell any of us anything. I have a target on my back, Daphne's parents have fled, and you guys are Gryffindor golden children."
"I'll ask Kreacher to keep an eye on the map for us." Harry decided. "He is one busy elf you know. Somehow between stealing stuff, helping write Quibblers and Quabblers and mentoring Winky, he managed to find time to help Susan plan a fool-proof method to take over the ministry once the war is over. They're still working on it, I believe. I think she's planning on fighting you for minister for magic, Mione."
"Ew, I don't want to be minister." Hermione wrinkled her nose. "Not unless there's someone co-ministering with me. I think the pressure would kill me or burn me out." She shuddered at the thought. For all Hermione's smarts, she was very afraid of failure, and had people pleasing tendencies that would make it difficult for her to make big decisions that effects the entire country. Susan, however, did not give a damn what anyone else thought of her. They would complement each other well, as Susan hated all the admin tasks and written things Hermione adored.
"Perfect! I'll tell Susan you want in on her plan. It's very detailed, right up your street."
Hermione frowned. "We don't see much of Susan at the moment. Has she been plotting every day?"
Harry shrugged. "No, but she's still got her Hufflepuff friends she needs to spend time with. I think Neville hangs out with them a lot too, don't you Nev?"
"I reckon he's got a crush on Hannah." Ron said, waggling his eyebrows. Neville blushed.
"I- Bye!" He ran off, leaving the rest of his friends in fits of laughter.
~
"Good morning Professor Pink!" Harry said cheerfully as the sixth years entered the defence classroom. Snape scowled, the nickname still as abhorrent as the first three hundred times Harry had used it.
"Non-verbal casting." Snape said, as soon as they were all seated. He gave a brief summary and split them off into pairs, taking in turns to cast a hex non-verbally and erect a shield non-verbally.
Harry grinned when all his HA members were able to successfully perform non-verbal magic with ease. They had practicing since the beginning of the year, helped along by their time spent in silence during the fourth year common room competition. Harry and Hermione were discussing moving onto wandless magic after Christmas. Snape's look of shock and slight terror, mixed with what was definitely something along the lines of impressed, was highly entertaining.
"They're going to take over the world." He whispered to the tabby cat on his desk, who meowed and pushed a tin of biscuits closer to him with her head.
In the end, Snape dismissed them early.
"Thank you Professor Glitter Sparkles!" Harry cackled loudly and Hermione and Daphne stared at a smirking Draco in shock. Ron and Neville leant on each other for support as they laughed.
Snape span on his heel, giving his Godson a nasty glare he usually reserved for Harry.
"What did you just call me?" He asked, voice soft and dangerous. Draco gulped, but repeated the name without a single shake in his voice. Harry was very, very impressed. Snape clearly was not, and the look he gave Draco was thunderous.
"RUN!" Harry yelled, grabbing the blonde by the arm and pulling him from the Defence classroom.
No one seemed to question why Snape refused to call Draco 'Mr Malfoy' for the rest of the year. Instead, he addressed him only as 'Ferret'.