Harry Potter and the Streak of Insanity

Harry quickly returned to his usual crazy self. It was a bit of an escape for him: the childish behaviour, the jokes, the amusement it brought to others. And nobody had died, so he wasn't grieving, just.... processing the weight of Voldy being back.

To Harry's slight disappointment, they didn't stay at the burrow for long. Dumbledore dropped by a week into the holidays and requested they move into 12 Grimmauld Place for the reformation of the Order. Molly had been furious, muttering angrily to herself as she hastily threw random objects she absolutely could not live without into suitcases and harped on at her children, Harry included, to hurry up and pack. 

"I don't understand the rush." Ron had grouched, throwing his belongings haphazardly into his trunk. Harry, who could see Daphne and Hermione's glares in the back of his head, folded his clothes carefully. He was relieved he did so, because Hermione herself showed up minutes later, having received a visit from Arthur Weasley at Dumbledore's request, and joined the party.

"You call this packing, Ronald?" She said immediately with a disapproving look. Ron gulped. Harry grinned widely and skipped downstairs so ask the really friendly gnomes for his socks back. If he packed one or five gnomes for the fun of it, who would know? 

They left quickly, and apparated directly into the kitchen, where they were greeted by Remus. 

"This is one of the Black family properties." He explained quickly after giving Harry a hug. "Be quiet in the hallway, or Walburga will never shut up. And don't expect any nice behaviour from Kreacher. He's a bit.... odd."

"Black family? Is Sirius here then?" Harry asked. 

"Not yet. He gave me the address so we could gain access to the property. He asked me to pass on the message, Molly, that if you desperately cannot handle the itch of giving the place a good clean you may do so. But please do not chuck anything away, send it to the attic, which is heavily warded so he can go through it at a later time. He does request that if you know how, Walburga can go for good. Oh, and don't involve the children in the cleaning, it could be dangerous."

Molly, and surprisingly the twins, looked vaguely disappointed.

They all headed upstairs to choose bedrooms. Harry and Ron opted to share, and Hermione shared with Ginny. The twins shared, and Percy had vanished into thin air the night before after a huge fight with his parents. 

Grimmauld place was boring. They spent most days holed up on the top floors, banned from the main floor during order meetings. Harry had tried everything - Wheedling, manipulating, even begging and bartering, but Molly wouldn't crack.

"Whilst you are under my legal supervision, you will be staying far, far away from this war business." She said sternly, wagging a finger at him.

"Fine, have it your way then!" Harry said, far too brightly. Remus narrowed his eyes, but didn't say anything.

So, naturally, chaos ensued.

Bored out of their minds, Harry decided it was time for the fun to begin again, after being relatively calm for a few weeks. This time, however, he roped in the twins as well as Ron, Hermione, and Ginny.

The next week was spent finding more and more creative ways to randomly disrupt the order meetings.

The first time was the easiest, as everyone had their guards down. The children had been model children and had been staying out of the way. So no one even batted an eyelash when everyone piled into the kitchen for the latest meeting, the twins and Harry among them.

They lasted for thirty minutes without detection, simply by staying quiet. Harry was honestly shocked they hadn't been caught out much earlier.

"If you think Voldemort is possessing me, you could just take me to Gringotts." Harry said evenly after an outburst from a man he didn't recognise. "The goblins are great with that stuff."

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Molly yelled. Harry smiled and waved.

"He's got a point though." Bill said. "I can take him?"

"That won't be necessary." Dumbledore said hastily. Harry frowned. 

Moody cackled loudly, and everyone turned to look at him.

"Potter, you're a maniac. How did you get in here?"

Harry shrugged. "Through the door." He said simply. Moody laughed harder.

"Harry, you can't just let yourself in to Order meetings." Dumbledore scolded.

"I didn't let myself in, whoever was watching the door to check who entered did." Everyone looked around silently. Wait, who had been on door duty?

"Seriously? No one watched the door for suspicious people trying to get in?" Harry asked, flabbergasted. "My my, not much constant vigilance going on in here then. Blimey, Voldy himself could enter and no one would've batted an eyelash!"

"That was my line." Moody said sadly.

"Okay then, from now on, it's my personal mission to ensure your meetings are foolproof!" Harry said brightly. 

Remus sighed. Loudly. 

"Hermione will help, she's got more brains than everyone in here put together. No offence Minnie, you're clever too."

"Thank you, Potter!" 

"Yeah!" The twins chorused, and apparated away before their mother could reach them. 

"Well, this was fun, but I have business to attend to." Harry yawned, looking at his watch-less wrist with a tut. "Meeting adjourned." Many people stood themselves up and began to leave, despite the order coming from someone who wasn't even a member. Remus laughed silently as Dumbledore tried to maintain control as Harry waltzed from the room.

On the day of the next meeting Molly stood by the door, vetting everyone at they entered. 

"Er, Molly?"

"What, Arthur?"

"Did you make sure the kitchen was empty before letting everybody in?"

"Why?" Arthur pointed at the table, where Harry was banging a gavel with a white wig from goodness knows where balanced on his head.

"Order!" He exclaimed. "Order in the court!"

This time, Molly dragged him out by the ear.

At the third meeting, he decided not to bother everyone. Well, not until it had already started anyway. He simply opened the door and let himself in, coughing loudly.

"Mr Potter-"

"Oh, Hello Minnie! Long time not see! Anyway, I just came to tell you, Fawkes wants a burger."

"Huh?" Charlie said eloquently.

"That's you job, isn't it? The Order of the Phoenix? Honestly, you people are not very good employees." Harry shook his head in disappointment and left the room. No one noticed the scroll in his hand.

"Department of Mysteries?" Draco said in confusion, snatching the scroll as soon as Harry had returned upstairs. "What do they want with that place?"

"Who knows." Daphne shrugged. "There's all sorts of stuff down there. My uncle is an Unspeakable."

"I'll go and ask." Harry said. "You two should come with me."

Harry, flanked by the two Slytherins, pulled a key out of his pocket and unlocked the now-locked door, and re-entered the meeting. 

"What's the Department of Mysteries?" He asked sweetly.

"POT- Mr Malfoy, Miss Greengrass, what are doing here?" Severus asked, eyebrows disappearing into his hairline. Which was a lot higher than it used to be, Harry mused. 

"Oh, they got here last week." Harry said nonchalantly.

"Harry, if they'd gotten here last week, we would've known." Remus said. "This property is under Fidelius."

"Yeah, and Sirius is the secret keeper." Harry retorted. "I wrote to him, he showed Mrs Tonks, and she managed to speak to her sister, who managed to persuade Voldy to let Draco leave to stay with the Greengrasses for the summer, who then sent the three angsty teens to the Tonkses', and then Sirius gave them the address and they flooed here!"

"But we would've seen them in the house!" Remus argued.

Harry guiltily pulled the invisibility cloak out of Draco's pocket. 

"Wait, three?" Bill asked suddenly.

Astoria waved sheepishly from the doorway. Molly practically fainted. 

"Anyway, in all honestly they only arrived yesterday." Harry said. "Since no one was doing anything about the underage teenage boy living in a house with the Dark Lord, we took matters into our own hands. Again" 

He didn't mention that Sirius had also given the address to Luna and Neville, who arrived later that same day. 

Things were much more lively after that. 

After the Order began warding the kitchen door beyond Daphne's capabilities, they had to resort to the Weasley's newest invention, extendable ears. But Crookshanks seemed to be on Remus' side, and would attack the ears with gusto whenever she saw them.

"Just because you're his favourite and he gives you extra biscuits." Harry said to her grumpily. He swore she smirked at him. 

Then, Harry had a genius idea. 

No one knew how did it, and it's a secret that will die with Harry, but somehow, sometime, someplace, he managed to befriend Kreacher. Luna seemed to know, but she refused to say anything too.

So, when the next order meeting was in full swing, Kreacher voluntarily apparated Harry right into the middle of the table.

"Hi!" He said. "Guess you forgot house elf magic overrides wizard wards, huh? Oh, what's a prophecy?"

He didn't escape the stinging hex from Molly this time.

Then, as if things couldn't get any more exciting, Harry received an official looking letter over breakfast. 

"Oh no, that's not good." He said airily. 

"What is it?" Hermione snatched the letter, and went pale. "Expelled? How-"

"Fate worse than death." Ron said sadly, looking at Harry. Both them fell out of their chairs in a fit of laughter. Only Hermione seemed to get the joke, and kicked them both. Hard.

"This isn't funny, boys. Harry, you've been expelled from school! Honestly, why aren't you upset?"

"Because it's another nonsense plot drying to defame me, Hermione." Harry said. "Defame? Is that a word? Who knows. Look, it won't stick. Dumbledore and Amelia Bones won't let it. And I haven't even been in Privet Drive to cast any spells, it's all too fake to stick."

He didn't stop Hermione from showing the Weasleys and Remus though. Just in case.

"Guess I'm not a student anymore." Harry said cheerfully. "Can I join the Order then?"

"Harry, dear boy, no need to panic." Dumbledore said, stepping out of the fireplace. "I've spoken to the Minister, and you have a hearing scheduled for next Tuesday."

"Aw man, I wanted to go rogue." Harry said, looking disappointed. Remus stifled a smile. It really wasn't funny, after all. It wasn't. Okay, maybe just a little bit. 

Draco bit back a snort. "You're already rogue." 

"Yeah, rogue-ishly handsome." Harry said, winking at Ginny, who mimed being sick.

"You need to stop saying that, you're becoming conceited." Neville said, shaking his head.

"Conceited? That's a big word." Harry commented. "I don't like big words, they're excruciatingly frustrating in such an underhand manner."

"Manner does not count as a big word." Daphne said sternly. 

"Posh, then." Harry said. "Anyway, thank you Mr Dumbledore, but I'll take the expulsion please."

"HARRY JAME-"

"Fine, fine! I won't." Harry held his hands up in surrender. The twins high fived him. Molly gave up and went to finish cooking. 

Things only got worse when Sirius was finally cleared to visit.

"HARRY!"

"PADFOOT!" 

"I've only got five hours." Sirius said. 

"Quick-fire prank battle?" Harry asked innocently. 

"You're on." They shook, and the game began. 

"I can't believe you turned my mother's house elf into a prank master." Sirius said four hours later, covered in slime and bits of banana and exhausted.

"He's a legend. I reckon Regulus had already taught him!"

Sirius turned his head sharply.

"You know about Regulus?"

"I know about lots of things." Harry responded simply.

"Why don't you tell anyone then?"

"Nobody asks me!"

Sirius shrugged. "Fair play. Know anything that might lead you to be killed you think we should know about?"

"I think a bit of Voldemort lives in my head."

"Cool. Which part?"

"I dunno, his nose? He seems to be missing that."

"Have you told Dumbledore?"

"Nah, he buzzes too much and it's irritating. Besides, I'm dealing with it. Oh, by the way, Have you seen Slytherin's Locket lying around anywhere?"

"Why?"

"Kreacher and I have a theory."

"It it going to cause trouble?"

"Definitely." 

"Then it's in the third floor drawing room in the sixth cabinet to the left. Don't touch it though, it's cursed."

"Cool. Oh look, Tonks is here!"

"Ugh, for the last time Nymph, I do not need to be babysat by my younger cousin, It's embarrassing!"

"Hey, shut your pie hole, my mum sent me to come and collect you!"

"That's even worse! Bye Prongslet."

"By Paddy."

Remus turned to look at Bill, who was trying to keep a straight face.

"That's the strangest conversation I've ever heard." He told the redhead, who leaned back, a knowing look in his eye.

"Tell me about it." 

....

"Potter?"

"Yes Professor Moody?"

"Why didn't you just use your invisibility cloak to sneak into the meeting?"

Harry winked. "Who said I didn't?"

"HA! Nice try, my eye can see right through them."

"... What, this eye?" Harry pulled a frantically spinning eye from his pocket.

"What, but..." Moody pulled the fake eye from his socket. How he hadn't noticed the switch was beyond Harry.

"POTTER!" 

Harry ran for his life. He never told Moody the room was warded against Invisibility cloaks by Dumbledore.