The Clothing Catastrophe
The plan was deceivingly simple. Harry, who just wanted a bit of joy in his increasingly dark and depressing life, decided he would go... well, mad. Not a dark wizard on a killing rampage mad, just an embracing his neglected inner child and finding joy and amusement in his life mad. If it meant breaking a few rules and being ridiculous, well, who honestly cares? He deserved a bit of laughter in his life.
~
The problem with people like Harry, Hermione thought to herself, is that they simply cannot wait and take things slow. He had to leap straight into it, no build up, no gradual, realistic spiral to insanity. No, Harry had to jump straight into the deep end.
Which is why at breakfast the next morning, Harry was sat at the Slytherin table wearing Durmstrang robes, a Hufflepuff tie and a Beauxbatons hat.
He made sure to be there very early. So early, in fact, that to begin with it was just him and Professor McGonagall in the Great Hall.
"Mister Potter, your attire is very.... interesting." She had commented, raising a single brow.
"Aww, thanks Professor!" Harry exclaimed, curtseying. "I'm trying to embrace our guests with open arms, you see, I thought this might make them feel more welcome."
"A lovely sentiment. However, you are unfortunately in breach of the uniform code, so after you have eaten your breakfast you must go and change or I will be forced to remove house points and give you a detention." Professor McGonagall said severely, but she winked at him.
"Of course professor. After breakfast, I will make sure to be wearing a full, single set of uniform."
"Thank you, Mister Potter. I will not comment on the fact you are sat at the Slytherin table, just don't cause too much trouble or Severus will give me a right headache about it."
"Yes Ma'am." Harry saluted, before reaching for a slice of toast.
As students began to stream into the hall, Harry got many funny looks and people began to whisper to each other. He didn't mind; at least they were talking about his current state and not his entry into the tournament.
"Potter." Malfoy said as he stopped in shock at the sight of Harry Potter, not only sat at his table, but dressed in the attire of three different schools. "What in Merlin's name are you doing?"
"Oh, good morning Malfoy, sleep well?" Harry said cheerfully, pouring milk onto his cereal. Malfoy blinked, and was too shocked to reply.
"Helloooo?" Harry waved a hand in Malfoy's face. "Come sit down, I don't bite." He grabbed the Slytherin boy's arm and pulled him onto the bench next to him. Malfoy was too surprised to stop him.
"Potter, why are you sat at our table? And what are you wearing?" A girl Harry had never spoken to before, but he had seen in his classes, asked.
"Daphne Greengrass, right?" The girl nodded. "Well, Daphne, I am simply eating breakfast and trying to show my support of the other champions by embracing their uniforms. Oh, and end house rivalries by sitting with you snakie-poos today."
"Right, of course, makes complete sense. Snape is going to kill you, by the way." Daphne seemed more amused than anything else, and willingly sat on Harry's other side when he patted the bench, inviting her to do so.
Surprisingly, the Gryffindors seemed more shocked than the Slytherins did. Then again, Slytherins are better at hiding their feelings. Probably because most of them grew up abused, Harry theorized as he tried to spoon-feed Malfoy jam.
"Potter, stop shoving food into Mr Malfoy's face and stand up." A cold voice ordered from behind him.
"Morning Professor Snape, isn't it a lovely day?" Harry said politely, reaching out to shake the Professor's hand.
"What are you playing at, boy?" Snarled Snape.
"I don't know what you mean. I'm clearly trying to show my support of the other schools and houses, and end my feud with Draco here." Harry patted the blonde on the shoulder, who still didn't seem able to move or speak.
"20 points from Gryffindor for not sitting at the correct house table, and another 20 for wearing the incorrect uniform. Go and get changed this instant!"
"Can I finish my cereal first?"
"No."
"Fine, no need to be grouchy." Harry gave Draco one last pat on the shoulder and strutted out of the hall.
"What on earth?" Fred said in wonder as he sat down opposite Ron and Hermione. "He's gone mental."
Ron just shrugged.
Severus Snape was not having a good morning. He barely got any sleep thanks to Dumbledore's incessant rambling about the Potter boy and how he needs to be protected, only to find the very same Potter sat next to Draco Malfoy at the Slytherin table trying to force-feed him. And he wasn't even in uniform!
"Why did you not put a stop to his foolish behaviour before I arrived?" He asked Minerva grumpily.
Minerva smirked.
"Well, Severus, he promised me he would change after he finished his breakfast, and I see no harm in him trying to mend the house rivalry and end his feud with Mister Malfoy. In fact, it's so thoughtful and mature of him I think he should earn 50 points to Gryffindor, don't you agree?"
"You find this funny, don't you?" Severus said accusingly.
"Quite."
Harry wasn't seen again until his first class, which happened to be transfiguration.
"Mr Potter." Professor McGonagall sighed, doing her best to sound exasperated. "I believe I told you to put on the correct uniform after breakfast?"
Harry grinned at her, spinning around. The light blue Beauxbatons uniform he was wearing swirled with his movement.
"But Professor, I did exactly as you asked! You asked me to change, and I told you I would make sure to wear a 'full, single set of uniform'. You didn't specify which uniform it had to be." Harry fluttered his eyelashes at her innocently.
"You are correct, I did not. Well then, sit down, I must begin my lesson." Harry grinned as his Head of House resumed teaching as if nothing was out of the ordinary.
Draco Malfoy was incredibly confused. He had stayed up late last night making incredible badges that said Support Cedric Diggory, that also said Potter Stinks. He had woken up after 2 hours of sleep, exhausted, and had to drag himself to the Great Hall for breakfast. He didn't even wait for his stupid minions.
Upon his arrival he did a double take, fairly sure he was hallucinating the oddly dressed Harry Potter, who was sat in his usual seat at the Slytherin table.
"Potter." He remembered saying. "What in Merlin's name are you doing?" Then he had been forced to sit down, listen to Potter's insane ramblings and then been spoon-fed jam. He hated jam!
The worst part about it all was that he was humiliated and confused. Malfoys don't get humiliated and confused! Ever.
Oh well, Potter was probably just in some sort of shock after what happened with goblet. Wait, No, that couldn't be right. Potter put his own name in! Unless he didn't?
He decided not to think about Potter anymore, it was making his head hurt. Besides, the boy would probably be back to normal by lunch.
"Oh look Daphne, Draco is back!" Harry exclaimed happily, once again from Draco's place at the Slytherin table, in full Beauxbatons uniform. "Hi Draco! How was your morning?"
"Potter, what the actual -"
"Ohmygosh, I have something super cool to show you!" Harry said excitedly. He grabbed Draco by the hand and dragged him over to the Gryffindor table.
"Sit." He said. Draco, desperate to wake up from this nightmare, complied. Harry sat own next to him, rummaging in his pockets.
"Hermione, you should get the Beauxbatons uniform, you're always complaining about having no pockets." Harry commented.
"I really should." Hermione said, trying to stifle her laughter at the completely shocked and hopeless look on Malfoy's face.
"How are you being so normal? What is wrong with him?" Draco hissed at her. Before Hermione could reply, Harry shouted in triumph.
"Got it!" He passed whatever it was he had just found to Malfoy. It was a stuffed dragon plushie.
"Potter, what-"
"Isn't it the cutest thing ever?" Harry squealed.
"Um, if I say yes can I leave?"
"Sure!"
"Then it's adorable!" Malfoy squeaked and ran out of the hall, taking the dragon plushie with him. As soon as he was gone, Hermione erupted into a fit of giggles.
By dinner, Malfoy was shaking, and his palms were sweaty. Daphne rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.
"I'm sure Potter is back to normal now." She said consolingly. "Come on, you can't just skip meals just because of some Gryffindor."
Draco nodded shakily. "Yeah, yeah, you're right." He wiped his hands on his robes and took a deep breath, following Daphne into the hall. He immediately started looking for Potter.
He scanned the Gryffindor table first and Potter was indeed sat there, chatting casually with Granger and Weasley. He breathed a sigh of relief. But as he was walking to the Slytherin table, someone caught his eye.
Potter was sat at the Slytherin table, having what looked to be a very important discussion with Blaise Zabini. His breathing quickened again. Daphne elbowed him. "Look at the Hufflepuff table!" She hissed.
Potter was sat at the Hufflepuff table, talking to Bones and Abbot.
"Hey, Draco!" He turned to see who called his name.
There was Potter, waving at him from Ravenclaw table, where he was sat with a blonde girl from the year below them. "Come and meet my new friend!"
It was too much for Draco to handle. He took one large, shuddering breath, and fainted.
When Harry was questioned later on, he simply denied everything and claimed that he was sat at Gryffindor table the whole time, and someone else must have thought it would be funny to use Polyjuice potion to impersonate him.
"Mr Potter, there were 4 of you present at dinner today." Dumbledore said, looking at the boy with his usual grandfatherly twinkle.
"Maybe it was group of people trying to get me in trouble. Really Professor, considering what transpired last night it's hardly surprising. I personally think it was the Hufflepuffs, they must be furious with me for stealing Cedric's glory." And with that, he skipped off.
Later on that evening, Ron, Hermione, Harry, Cedric, Fleur, Viktor, Luna, Ginny and Colin gathered in the kitchens.
"So you'll be our secret photographer? And you promise not to say a word to anyone?" Harry asked Colin.
"I promise." Colin said.
"Good. And Luna is our spy with her special spy powers!"
"I'm a seer, Harry. I can see the future, and some of the present." Luna said in her usual dreamy tone.
"Yes, spy powers!"
"Oh Merlin, he's going insane for real!" Ron groaned. Ginny laughed.
"Ginny, we love you and all but why are you here?" Harry asked her.
"Because I wanted to. Luna and Colin are my friends, so I came with them."
Harry shrugged "Fair enough."
"That Polyjuice potion worked so well, where did you get it?" Cedric asked Harry.
"Oh, in second year we used it to sneak into the Slytherin common room and interrogate Malfoy, but we had some left over. Thankfully Polyjuice doesn't go off so you can keep it in storage for years." Hermione answered before Harry could even open his mouth to speak.
"You lot are mad." Cedric said, with an amused shake of his head.
"Wait, so at dinner today who was pretending to be which Harry?" Ginny asked.
"Well, Fleur was Slytherin Harry, Cedric was Hufflepuff Harry and Viktor was Gryffindor Harry. I was Ravenclaw Harry of course, I wanted to be the one to finally push Malfoy over the edge." Harry grinned. "It felt wonderful! Who knew all I had to do to defeat him was kill him with kindness?"
They sat together and plotted for about ten more minutes before returning to their common rooms.
The Gryffindors were all wide awake when they got back, wanting to ask Harry what on earth was going on. He refused to answer them and went straight to bed, Ron following him.
"Ron?" Fred asked, just before he was out of sight. "Have you been wearing that cloak all day?"
"Yes, isn't it pretty?" Ron said, turning his head to admire the sky blue Beauxbatons cloak he was wearing, letting out a girlish giggle.