Year Three
Harry edged in the kitchen and kept her chin high even though her face had never been so red before.
Remus was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea and breakfast already laid out for them. Remus was such a dear, he always made breakfast and had their little kitchen smelling like cinnamon and bacon before Harry could even finish in the shower.
Their house was adorable and Harry loved it. Remus had been embarrassed to show it to Harry, mumbling and calling it a ‘shack’, but Harry thought it was very charming. It was a two bedroom cottage made up of mismatched stone walls and ivy growing up the sides. It was secluded, with a forest wrapped around it, but not too far from a nearby village that Harry couldn’t walk there when she felt like it.
The inside of the cottage was painted in cheerful, if quite a bit faded, colors and Harry’s bedroom had the best view of the sunrise in the mornings. Sure, she had to share a bathroom with Remus, but there were worse predicaments to be in.
Or, there were, until this morning.
“Good morning, Harry.” Remus smiled at her and then his eyebrows twitched when he saw Harry’s very distinct lack of a smile. “Everything okay?”
“No,” Harry sighed. She couldn’t bear to look Remus in the eyes for this. “I need to go to the drugstore in town, may I?”
Remus made a disagreeable sound. “It’s not safe,” he said, referring to the ‘prison escapee who wanted to kill Harry’. “I can apparate to London and get you anything you’d need though?”
Harry sighed. Remus was so polite and considerate.
It made everything much worse.
“I think I need tampons,” Harry said while she inspected what looked like a sunflower painted on their cup cabinet.
Remus sputtered on his tea and Harry nearly smiled at the waves of embarrassment radiating off him. At least they were evenly matched.
“You think?” Remus asked.
Harry shrugged uncomfortably. “I… er… I’m not sure and there’s nobody else I can ask.”
“Nobody?” Remus’ voice turned soft and sweet. Harry knew if she looked at him that he’d have one of those very sympathetic looks on his face that made Remus her favorite person on earth.
“Everyone is under the impression that I have a penis, so…”
Remus sputtered again and Harry saw him spraying tea across the table.
“Right,” he wheezed, “right…”
Harry smiled slightly and sat down at the table across from him, comforted by the fact that Remus was as out of his depth as she was.
“Tampons, tampons…”
Harry reached across the table and snagged a strip of bacon. “Maybe,” she said, pretending like it was an entirely normal conversation to have over breakfast. “I’m not completely sure.”
Remus swallowed hard and stared very carefully at his tea. “Harry, dear, how can you not be sure?” he asked slowly. “Is it not… obvious?”
Harry snatched a fistful of bacon and jumped to her feet while her lower lip wobbled and her eyes filled with tears.
“Because I don’t know if I’m bleeding or just having some terribly odd discharge and I don’t have anyone I can ask about it because nobody knows I have a vagina and now I don’t know if I want to prank everyone or call Katie and I want my mom!”
Harry turned around with a sob and fled to her room where she slammed the door and cried while she ate bacon on her bed.
Remus sat at the table, shocked at Harry’s outburst.
“Tampons,” he said to himself, feeling rather lightheaded and wildly out of his depth. “I’ll just go get tampons.”
“So someone broke out of prison and wants to kill you?” Elise snorted and threw one of her chocolates at Harry’s head. “When did you get interesting, Harry?”
“I’ve always been interesting,” Harry sniffed haughtily. “You’ve just never noticed before.”
“Well I’m noticing now,” Elise said with a roll of her eyes. “You’ve got a cute uncle and people who want to kill you and all sorts of fun things going on.”
“I’ve got period cramps and…” Harry picked up the box that Remus brought home along with bags filled with muggle chocolates and Elise for the weekend. “Jumbo tampons,” Harry shuddered.
As much as Harry adored Remus for getting them for her, it was also mortifying and mysterious and more than a little terrifying. Elise was a much better surprise, even if it meant that all magical books and broomsticks and wands had to be hidden away.
“They’re not that scary,” Elise said kindly. “Come on Harry, find a mirror and I’ll show you. I got my period months ago.”
“Brat,” Harry scowled.
“Fake boy,” Elise laughed.
“Ugly prude.”
“Skinny creep.”
“Soon to be crazy cat lady!”
“Already a crazy cat lady!”
Harry swatted at Elise and groaned when Elise jabbed her right in her abdomen.
“You are the worst friend I have ever had the misfortune of meeting,” Harry hissed at her.
Elise tossed her long hair over her shoulder and smirked. “Keep it up and I’m not going to tell you all about Josiah Kravitz.”
Harry perked up at the mention of the boy that Elise met through a fundraiser at her finishing school and quickly found a hand mirror in her vanity and settled in for a lesson and gossip.
Even with Remus worrying about his ex-best friend and, what Harry strongly suspected, ex-boyfriend looking for Harry that summer, Harry had never been so happy.
She got to spend time with Elise. She got to study so much magic, magic she didn’t even dream could exist, and she got to fly almost as much as she wanted.
Harry invited her whole quidditch team over half a dozen times and they had a blast flying through the skies and practicing together. It was made that much better by the lemonade and biscuits Remus kept supplying to them.
And Remus himself was so terribly lovely that Harry guiltily wished that he was her real father instead of ‘Uncle Remus’. He was smart and sweet, always willing to talk with Harry about her parents and his days in Hogwarts. He asked Harry about her classes and her friends and listened when Harry filled him in with the gossip about everyone at Hogwarts.
Remus had also tentatively asked Harry about being a boy and Harry laughed herself sick when she finally discovered what a ‘Regulus Black situation’ was.
“Don’t be silly, I don’t want a penis, I just want to pull pranks,” Harry assured Remus after he told her about Sirius Black’s brother. There were plenty of perks of being an actual boy, not having a period was right up top, but Harry was a girl.
She was a girl and the Boy-Who-Lived.
Remus stared at Harry while his lips slowly curled up in a smile.
“You’re pretending to be a boy for a prank?” Remus asked her, laughing loudly when Harry nodded. “Jesus Christ, Harry, nobody can ever doubt your parentage.”
Harry had beamed when Remus found a book from his schooldays, one filled with pranks that he had pulled with Harry’s father and she swore to cherish it.
She also said she wouldn’t reenact them, but Remus surely knew she was lying.
Harry’s birthday fell on the day after a full moon, so Harry went to the Burrow where Molly was all too happy to smother her in affection and serve the biggest chocolate cake Harry had ever seen before.
The twins invited over the quidditch team and Ginny brought her friend Luna whose hair was much smoother now. Draco and Pansy had sent Harry letters and gifts that morning and Harry was so terribly happy.
“Happy birthday, Harry,” Fred said quietly when Harry was carrying dirty plates to the kitchen after they all had cake. Fred was leaning against the stove and watched Harry with wary eyes.
“Thanks,” Harry said. She dumped the dishes in the sink. “And… and thanks for inviting everyone.”
Fred nodded and didn’t say anything else so Harry walked away feeling unsettled by the conversation.
Remus didn’t have any brilliant insights about Fred and why he wasn’t really Harry’s best mate anymore, but he still sat and sipped tea and was the best person Harry ever met.
“Remus, I love you, but I will absolutely kill you,” Harry said firmly. She drew her wand to show Remus how completely serious she was about it. “Don’t you dare.”
“Safety first,” Remus quipped with an impish smile that made him look years younger.
“You won’t be very safe once I kill you,” Harry pointed out. “And then I’ll be a tragic orphan once more.”
Remus held up his briefcase like a shield. “You won’t even notice I’m there,” he promised Harry. He waved his open hand toward the train. “Are we riding together or are we going home and exploring the exciting world of homeschooling?”
Harry scowled at Remus and stormed ahead of him to the train.
“I am not sharing a compartment with you,” she hissed to him. “You are embarrassing me.”
Nobody else’s parents or guardians rode the train with them. Of course, Harry knew logically that nobody else had a mass murderer after them, but Remus really was taking helicopter parent to a whole new level.
“Bye, Harry, love you!” Remus called at Harry’s back when she stormed down the train in an opposite direction from him.
Harry spun around and flipped Remus off before ducking in the closest compartment to hide from any possible retaliation.
Only to find herself suddenly in the same compartment as Hermione Granger.
“Harry!” Hermione jumped up and Harry barely refrained from rolling her eyes at Hermione’s wide smile. “I was hoping I’d find you before we got to school! I got you a present!”
Harry stepped back and narrowed her eyes at Hermione suspiciously. “Oh?” she asked neutrally. As if she would accept any gift from the girl she spent pranking last year and reported her for ‘harassment’. “Why?”
“It’s… it’s sort of an apology gift,” Hermione said with a pink blush on her tanned face. Harry’s dislike of Hermione rose when Hermione turned to dig in her bag and Harry saw that her frizzy hair had tamed some and she’d began growing breasts- actual breasts.
And Harry was still flat as a stupid board.
“Here!” Hermione pulled what looked like a white crop top from her bag and handed it to Harry with a bashful smile. “It’s a binder.”
Harry blinked dumbly at the spandex white piece of clothing that looked something like a mix between a crop top and a sports bra.
“What’s a binder?” Harry asked blankly. She held it up and didn’t think it looked very comfortable.
Hermione looked around the empty compartment furtively before she leaned toward Harry and dropped her voice to a dramatic whisper.
“It’s to flatten your breasts down,” Hermione whispered with eyes sparkling with excitement. “So nobody knows!”
Harry looked at the ‘binder’ again and then back over to where Hermione was grinning at her nervously.
“Do you like it?” Hermione asked. “I’ve done loads of research this summer, you know, and I truly am sorry for ‘outing’ you last year. I- I…” Hermione’s blush darkened. “I went to an all girl’s primary school and I didn’t know anything about… about your situation. So… so I’m sorry, Harry. And I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”
Harry sighed and tucked the gift that she was sure would be useful eventually in her own bag and gave Hermione a smile in return.
“And I forgive you,” she said graciously. She eyed Hermione’s hair thoughtfully. “Come on, come sit with me and my friends. Angelina can braid your hair, you know. She’s a genius with hair.”
“Really?” Hermione smiled at Harry so brightly it was as if nobody had ever invited her to sit with them before. Which, judging from the empty compartment she sat in, probably nobody ever had.
“Really,” Harry said. “But if you ever call me a freak again then I’ll shave your head bald.”
Hermione shuddered but she still followed Harry happily down the train until Harry found the compartment with her friends.
“Potter!” Angelina jumped up and hugged Harry. She’d spent quite a bit of her summer traveling and wasn’t able to make it to all the quidditch practices they had. “I missed you! How was your summer with Remus? Your hairs gotten long!”
“I know.” Harry grimaced and yanked on the hair irritably. She missed her long waves that she used to brush so lovingly, but she was too dedicated to her plans to let something as silly as hair hold her back. “Can you cut it? And this is Hermione, she needs her hair braided.”
Angelina looked over Harry’s shoulder where Hermione was hovering in the doorway and then she winked at Harry.
“Sure, Harry,” she said with a grin. “Sit down and I’ll cut your hair then I’ll braid Hermione’s hair.”
Harry rolled her eyes when Lee made kissing faces at her and Hermione sat on the floor beside Harry, looking unreasonably nervous.
“We’re friends,” Harry told them all firmly. “Grow up.”
“Yeah, Lee, grow up,” George said, elbowing his best mate roughly with a chuckle. “Harrikins can have all the friends he wants.”
“Yeah,” Fred caught Harry’s eye and he smiled, a real smile like he used to have for her. “Harry can have all the friends he wants.”
Harry wasn’t sure how befriending Hermione led Fred to being her friend again, but she wasn’t going to complain if it meant Fred was smiling and joking around with her again.
Nobody was joking around when the dementors climbed on the train and Harry fainted and was revived by Remus in a compartment full of her friends staring at her.
“Oi! Potter!” Draco came running up to Harry when she and her friends were headed toward the carriages. He’d grown over the summer and his eyes were glittering with amusement, it was a good look for Harry’s favorite rival.
“I heard you fainted on the train and had your dad ride with you because you’re scared of Black, is it true?” Draco asked Harry, smirking stupidly at her.
“Dementors are nothing to mess with,” Hermione said hotly, stepping up beside Harry. “There’s nothing embarrassing about fainting and it’s lucky that Mister Lupin was there or it could have been much worse!”
Harry looked up at the sky and cursed Hermione Granger and Remus Lupin to hell and back. Especially when Draco looked at Hermione and the amusement in his eyes increased tenfold.
“Oh, Harry,” Draco practically purred, “you’ve found yourself a girlfriend.”
“Oh, Draco,” Harry sighed and shook her head at Draco. “You’ve asked for it.”
“Asked for what?”
Harry smirked at him and patted her trouser pocket where the Marauder’s Prank Book was shrunken so she could carry it with her everywhere.
“To become test subject one,” Harry said. “Good luck.”
Hermione stayed by Harry’s side even though Harry really didn’t want her to while Harry went and caught up with Fred and George.
“What are you going to do to Malfoy?” Hermione asked after piling in the carriage with them.
“Show him that dementors aren’t nearly as terrible as I am,” Harry muttered distractedly. She got her book out and resized it, grinning at Fred and George’s gasps when they saw the words on the cover.
“We used to have a magical map made by the Marauders!” George said eagerly, pouting when Harry smacked his hand after he tried to snatch her book.
“I know,” Harry told him, her eyes flicking side to side while she searched for a good prank to keep everyone from talking about her fainting at dinner. “I stole it from you.”
“Why would you do that?” Hermione asked Harry, sounding very judgey.
“Because it’s mine anyway,” Harry said, looking firmly at the twins. “My dad made it with Remus and their mates, it’s mine. Got it?”
The twins nodded in tangent. “Got it.”
“And this is the one,” Harry said, pointing at the prank she just found. “It’s perfect.”
It took a bit of time, but with the twins back on Harry’s side and Hermione’s reluctant assistance, Harry was able to release two hundred soft and cute little bunny rabbits in the Great Hall just before Dumbledore announced the Remus was the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor.
“Oh thank goodness!” Harry smiled and stopped herself just short of hugging Remus - hugging was not something guys did - when she found him after the feast. “Finally a defense professor who isn’t a creep!”
Remus smiled and Harry finally understood all his recent little jokes and comments about the upcoming school year. Having Remus as a professor was going to be so excellent.
“Nope, just me,” Remus said cheerfully. “And you have detention tomorrow, six thirty, don’t be late.”
Harry huffed and rolled her eyes fondly when Remus put his hands in his pockets and strolled toward his quarters while he whistled a merry tune.
“That doesn’t seem fair, he didn’t have any proof it was you,” Hermione told Harry with a frown.
“Remus did the prank first,” Harry shrugged. “Hey, can you get my stuff from your dorm? I’m sure they’re there again.”
Hermione agreed, but Harry was pleasantly surprised to discover a bed and her belongings all in the boys dorm already. Harry would have thought McGonagall was behind it, but there was a note pinned to her pillow.
‘I don’t like the idea of the closest thing I have to a daughter sleeping in a room with four teenage boys, but for the sake of pranks, I made sure you had your stuff.
Love, R.’
Harry truly adored Remus Lupin.
Harry adored Remus even more when it seemed like Professor Snape clearly hated him.
In their first potions class of the year, Professor Snape was a snarling, spitting, angry man and everyone was whispering that Remus was the cause.
“Snape hates your new guardian, you better avoid him,” Draco whispered to Harry when they were getting ingredients from the cupboard together.
“And I hate you so you should avoid me,” Harry hissed at him.
Draco rolled his eyes. “You couldn’t hate me if you tried.”
“And yet I don’t try and I already do,” Harry said. She patted him on the shoulder. “You can’t escape me, Draco, I’m going to make you regret ever meeting me.”
“I always regret meeting you,” Draco spat at Harry’s back, causing her to laugh clear back to the desk she was unfortunately sharing with Hermione.
If Harry knew that Hermione was so clingy, she never would have forgiven her.
“Something funny, Potter?” Snape snarled at Harry the instant she sat down.
“No, sir,” Harry said with a polite smile. “I’m just happy to be back.”
Snape narrowed his eyes at Harry and seemed to be judging if she was being earnest or not.
“Five points from Gryffindor,” Snape sneered before turning away and going to bother Ron and Neville.
“That was unfair,” Hermione frowned.
“Careful, Hermione, you’re beginning to sound like a Hufflepuff,” Harry sang quietly to Hermione. “Come on, let’s make sure our potion kicks Draco’s potions arse.”
Hermione raised her eyebrows when Harry swiped a couple of vials of their perfect babbling beverage. Harry glanced toward Draco pointedly and then winked at Hermione.
Harry wasn’t sure she liked the way Hermione blushed when she winked, but as long as Hermione wasn’t tattling anymore, it was fine.
Their first defense class with Remus, or ‘Professor Lupin’, had been very exciting with boggarts and everyone facing their fears. Harry scowled at Remus irritably when he stopped her before she could face the dementors, but he told her after class that she could try it during detention that night so Harry let it go.
“I thought it would be Voldemort,” Remus said quietly after Harry’s boggart revealed itself. “That’s why I didn’t let you try in class, I’m sorry, Harry.”
Harry sniffled and swiped beneath her nose with her robe sleeve and tried to think of any way possible to make Remus’ dead body humorous.
“I can’t do this,” Harry said, backing away quickly and looking away from the destroyed body of the first person to truly care for her. Remus said she was as good as a daughter to him and if Sirius Black had betrayed James and Lily, what if he attacked Remus to get to Harry?
“That’s okay,” Remus told her kindly. He got the boggart back in the wardrobe and politely gave Harry a moment to compose herself. “Tea?”
“I can have tea for detention?” Harry asked him.
Remus smiled and summoned a tea tray from the kitchens. “Usually, no, but as I’m the one who inadvertently gave you the inspiration for your band of bunnies, I’m willing to go easy on you this once.”
Harry beamed at Remus and settled happily in a chair across from him. Even once her hour of detention had ended, the two of them still chatted while Harry told him her plans for Draco and Remus helped her fine tune them.
“Harry! Hi!” Pansy perked up when Harry loped casually over to the Slytherin table at breakfast one morning.
“Hey, Pans,” Harry winked at Pansy and got a giggle for her very half-arsed efforts. Harry sat down beside Pansy and tossed an arm around Pansy’s shoulders, pretending she was the one Harry went to see. “How was your summer?”
“Quite dull,” Pansy scoffed. She twisted her body to the side, turning to Harry’s side and pressing against her lightly. “You’ve grown this summer,” she said coyly.
Harry glanced down where Pansy was pressing her chest against hers and fought back a growl of injustice when she saw that Pansy had gotten breasts over the summer as well.
“So have you,” Harry said drily, quite annoyed. She turned to Draco on her other side and smirked at him. “How’s it going, Dray?”
Draco immediately turned pink and when he opened his mouth to respond, Harry sent a silent prayer of thanks to the wonderful chaotic elves running the kitchen.
“My day was going great until I saw you over here flirting with Pansy and now I’m quite annoyed because you’re a pretty boy and Pansy is a pretty girl and boys should not be pretty!”
Harry’s jaw dropped and she let out a loud peel of laughter when Draco slapped a hand over his mouth and all his visible skin had turned red.
Remus really was right, adding half of a sophorus bean to the babbling beverage really did make someone much less inhibited while they were babbling.
“I hate you,” Draco spat at Harry amid laughter from the rest of the nearby Slytherins. “I hope you fall from your broom in the next match and crack your head and it makes you less brilliant so I can hate you much easier!”
Pansy laid her head on Harry’s shoulder and watched as Draco ran from the hall, no doubt going to find Madam Pomfrey or Professor Snape.
“Did you do that?” Pansy asked Harry.
Harry carefully moved Pansy’s head off her shoulder and got to her feet with a crooked grin.
“Now would a pretty boy give up his secrets to the first pretty girl that asks?” Harry clicked her tongue. “Later, Pans.”
When Harry made it back to the Gryffindor table and plopped down between Hermione and Fred, she looked around at her snickering friends.
“What?” Harry asked them. She touched her face self-consciously. “Do I have something on my face?”
“Pansy Parkinson stared at your arse the entire time you walked over here,” Alicia giggled.
George leaned back on the bench and scrunched his nose up while he looked at Harry. “Not much to stare at. Harry, mate, you’ve got no arse.”
“Harry has a perfectly fine bottom!” Hermione snapped. Harry turned to her and raised a brow and Hermione immediately turned bright red.
“I wasn’t looking, I’m just saying,” she insisted. When Hermione was the one who quickly left the hall with a horrible blush, Ron slid over and took her seat before he snatched a strip of bacon off Harry’s plate.
“What’d I miss?” Ron asked.
“Hermione and Pansy like my arse,” Harry said thoughtfully, watching the door where Hermione ran through. “George doesn’t.”
Ron looked around at the quidditch team, his face scrunched up. “That’s gross.”
“Isn’t it?” Harry agreed idly. “Excuse me.”
Harry went straight to the girl’s loo, sure that was where Hermione was hiding again.
“Hermione?” Harry knocked on the door. “Hermione?”
“Please go away,” Hermione called back. She sounded like she was crying again and Harry worked very hard to keep herself from sighing.
“You shouldn’t be embarrassed,” Harry called. She wasn’t going to go in the girl’s loo, so she resorted to driving Hermione out of it. “FOR THE RECORD, I LIKE YOUR BREASTS!”
“Harry Potter!” Hermione was out of the loo in an instant, her cheeks just as red as the rims around her eyes. “Why would you say that?” she hissed, looking around wildly to make sure nobody heard Harry.
“Go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend,” Harry smiled charmingly. “Like a date.”
“A date?” Hermione asked slowly, straightening up and getting creases on her forehead from where she bunched her eyebrows together. “You and me?”
“You and me,” Harry agreed.
“Are you…” Hermione looked around again. “Are you a lesbian?” she whispered.
“No, I’m a boy,” Harry drawled pointedly. “You’re a girl. You’re smart and pretty, let’s go to Hogsmeade.”
Hermione grinned and she was pretty enough, not as pretty as Elise or Angelina, but pretty. And it would definitely help Harry’s credentials as a boy if she had a girlfriend, even if Hermione was very annoying sometimes.
“Okay,” Hermione said shyly. “Sure.”
“See you then,” Harry said with a wink. When she strutted away, she was fifty percent positive that Hermione was looking at her very flat arse.
And all it took was one comment to Lavender about taking Hermione on a date before all of Hogwarts began talking about Harry and Hermione dating.
“No need to be shy, not if you’re going to let Granger see it all soon.”
Seamus laughed at Harry when she came from the bathroom fully dressed the day of her first Hogsmeade weekend. The boys had gotten comfortable enough around each other by that point to come from the bathroom in their towels, leaving their chests bare.
Even if Harry was flat, she wasn’t completely stupid. She couldn’t go waltzing around the dorm in just a white terry towel wrapped around her waist.
“I still can’t believe you asked Hermione out,” Ron grumbled while he pulled a jumper over his bare chest. “I thought you and Lavender were a thing?”
“Lavender and I are friends,” Harry said carelessly. She pulled on her trainers and smirked at Ron. “What’s wrong? Jealous?”
“Of Granger?” Ron laughed, rather rudely. “Not even a little bit. I just thought you hated her, that’s all.”
“Hate and love are two sides of the same coin,” Dean winked. “I suppose that’s why Malfoy thinks you’re such a prettyyyy boy.”
“Laugh it up, mates,” Harry said, brushing their friendly jokes off easily. She hopped up and pointed at each other the four boys in turn. “When you lot are trying to find dates soon, don’t ask me to put in a good word for you.”
And since Harry had been having almost weekly gossip nights with Lavender and Parvati, the three of them taking up a table in the corner of the common room while they shared all they knew about their classmates, Harry thought her word was golden with the Gryffindor girls.
“Why do you like pranks so much?” Hermione asked Harry while the two of them made their way to Hogsmeade together.
“I like to laugh,” Harry said truthfully after thinking about it for a moment. “And I like to make other people laugh.”
“What about the people you prank though? They’re not laughing.”
Harry gave Hermione an amused look. “Do you mean Draco? He likes the attention, trust me.”
“I meant me,” Hermione said quietly. “Last year, when we weren’t friends.”
Harry put her arm through Hermione’s and pulled her to her side just like she would have with Elise.
“Well you called me a freak,” Harry reminded her. “My relatives used to call me a freak and I hated it.”
“Oh.” Hermione fell quiet while they walked the streets in Hogsmeade, taking in all the sights. Hogsmeade was wonderful, but Harry bet it would be better if there wasn’t a chill from the dementors ruining the still-pleasant weather.
“Harry?”
“Hm?” Harry looked away from where she’d been eyeballing Zonko’s, daydreaming about the aisles of pranks she knew she’d find inside there to see Hermione staring at her with big brown eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Hermione said. “I was awful to you.”
Harry sighed. Things were much easier when she hated Hermione. “And I’m sorry too,” Harry said politely. “Look how far we’ve come! Enemies to lovers! This is like a romance novel come to life!
“And now let’s go check out Zonko’s,” Harry said when Hermione’s face was blushing darkly again.
Zonko’s was everything that Harry thought it would be. All the twins had said about it and all that Remus had said about it didn’t even dare compare to the glory of the shelves after shelves of prank items.
Harry was having a grand time filling a bag with every hiccuping sweet, nose-biting teacup, and dungbomb that she could. Hermione patiently followed behind her, pointing out different items Harry hadn’t noticed while she tore through the aisles like a kid in a candy shop.
And then Harry skid to a stop when she saw Fred standing in an aisle of joke sweets with a pretty Ravenclaw girl beside him, giggling and twirling a lock of her hair.
“Hermione?” Harry turned around quickly and faced Hermione. Before Hermione could even respond, Harry leaned forward and locked her lips on Hermione’s and kissed her right in the middle of Zonko’s.
Harry thought she was a decent kisser, as far as she could tell, so Hermione rearing back, glancing at Fred over Harry’s shoulder, and slapping Harry in the middle of the store made no sense at all.
“Can you believe that?” Harry was ranting in Remus’ office the instant she paid for her items and could get back to the castle. Harry had her arms crossed and paced back and forth in front of his warm fireplace.
“Right in front of everyone, Remus! She slapped me! Do you know how humiliating that was?!”
Remus hummed and Harry spun around on him angrily.
“What?” Harry demanded. “What’s that sound?”
Remus sighed and gave Harry what seemed to be a disappointed sort of look. One that made Harry’s stomach hurt.
“Harry, dear, you don’t fancy Hermione,” Remus said calmly. “You invited her on a date because of this grand prank of yours and then you took her first kiss away by doing it in the middle of the joke shop because Fred Weasley made you jealous.”
Harry opened her mouth to argue and found that she, for once, had nothing to say. Remus stood up and held his arms open, embracing Harry tightly when she ran to him.
“I think you owe her an apology,” Remus said. He kissed the top of Harry’s head and made her stupid eyes fill up with tears. “Apologize and remember that playing with people’s feelings isn’t a great prank, it’s cruel, Harry.”
Harry snuggled in Remus’ sweater that smelled like their home. “You’re a good dad,” she told him sniffily. “Do you still love me even if I’m cruel?”
Remus hugged Harry even tighter. “I’d love you even if you were cruel, which you aren’t. You made a mistake, now you just have to make it right.”
“Can I do it with a prank?” Harry asked, refusing to relinquish herself away from Remus’ hug.
Remus laughed and messed up Harry’s hair even more than it already was.
“If it’s a kind prank, yes.”
“HERMIONE, I AM SO SORRY I RUINED OUR FIRST KISS! YOU ARE BRILLIANT AND BEAUTIFUL AND I WAS HONORED TO BE ON A DATE WITH YOU! I HOPE YOU CAN ONE DAY FORGIVE ME!”
“I will be your friend but I will not be your girlfriend.”
Harry looked over at Hermione. She assumed since Hermione chose to share a desk with her in potions again that Hermione had forgiven her.
“Why?” Harry asked, bemused.
Hermione closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead as if she had a headache. “Because I don’t want to date someone who sends me a howler in the Great Hall as a form of apology.”
Oddly, Harry only wanted to date someone who sent her a howler in the Great Hall as a form of apology.
Harry got a lot of ribbing from her dormmates and friends about the Boy-Who-Lived being dumped by his first ever girlfriend, but Harry wasn’t too fussed about it.
“Hermione didn’t like quidditch or pranks,” Harry pointed out to her teammates when they’d been teasing her after their last practice before their first match of the year.
“And that’s practically your entire personality,” Fred grinned. He threw his smelly quidditch jersey at Harry’s head. “Better luck next time, mate.”
“You just need to find someone like the twins,” Katie said brightly. “Someone who will pull pranks with you and fly with you.”
“No inner-team romances!” Oliver interrupted firmly. “This is my last year to impress Puddlemere and you lot are not going to mess it up with fights and feuds.”
Harry looked slowly from Angelina to George and caught the way that Angelina winked at George behind Oliver’s back. Fred saw it too and he grinned at Harry and then wiggled his eyebrows.
“Sure, Ollie, no inner-team romances,” Harry quipped. “I suppose I’ll leave Alicia alone.”
“Good, I’d hate to be snogged in Zonko’s then apologized with by a howler,” Alicia laughed, shouldering Harry playfully.
“I dunno, I think if you’ve got to apologize to someone, a howler’s the way to do it,” Fred said thoughtfully.
“Exactly,” Harry sighed, nodding vigorously. “That’s what I’ve been saying.”
The morning of their first match it was practically tradition for Harry to go bother Draco.
“Go away, Potter, I’m still mad at you,” Draco snapped when he saw Harry approaching.
“What did I do now?” Harry asked, trying to remember if Draco had any real reason to be upset with her.
Blaise smirked at Harry. “Draco was itching in his trousers all night.”
Harry had forgotten that she’d paid a first year to let her in the Slytherin room so she could put never-ending itching powder in Draco’s pajama drawer.
“I had nothing to do with that,” Harry lied with a grin. “You’re not too itchy to fly today, right, Dray?”
“I’m never too itchy to kick your arse,” Draco said with a spiteful scowl. “You’re like a plague, Potter, all I want to do is avoid you.”
“Pans doesn’t think I’m a plague,” Harry said winking at Pansy Parkinson. Pansy wasn’t bad looking, for a girl. She’d grown her hair out, letting the straight black hair frame her face in a way that was flattering. And she’d clearly figured out lipstick, since the red shade she wore looked good with her pale skin and dark hair.
“I hope you embarrass yourself even more than usual today,” Draco said flatly. “You’re a terrible rival.”
“Ooh.” Harry clutched her chest and staggered down, grabbing the table to catch herself. “Dray, why would you say such a thing to me? I have feelings, you know. Just because I’m a pretty boy doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings.”
“I hope you fall off your broom and die!” Draco yelled at Harry when she saw Oliver gesturing for her across the hall.
Harry flipped him off behind her back.
And just before Harry caught the snitch, the dementors flooded the field and Harry fainted on her broom, fell hundreds of feet, and cracked her skull on the ground.
Remus was the one in the Hospital Wing when Harry woke up. He gave her the splintered remains of her beloved broomstick and shooed the Gryffindor quidditch team away when Madam Pomfrey tried to get Harry to change in a gown.
“I’m sorry, Harry,” Remus said. He had his hand resting on Harry’s arm and his eyes were tired and sad, but he hadn’t left Harry’s side even once. “We can replace it. We can go next weekend and pick a new one out.”
“McGonagall gave me this one,” Harry said hoarsely. “And it’s ruined and the dementors are horrible, Remus. Every time they come around I can hear my mum screaming and begging for me to live. It’s- it’s awful.”
“Oh, Harry.” Remus climbed on Harry’s bed and let her fall in his side, overcome by misery when the only memory of her mum speaking that she had came from dementors.
“And isn’t it messed up that I want to hear it again?” Harry laughed, sounding half-hysterical. “All I want to do is go dance around the dementors so I can hear my dead mum talk to me.”
“I understand,” Remus said, holding her tightly, just like a real parent. “Just rest, Harry, everything will look better in the morning.”
As much comfort as Remus gave her, it was a mysterious person in Hogwarts who gave Harry a truly brilliant gift.
On Halloween morning, Harry was sitting with her solemn and respectfully quiet team at breakfast and Harry didn’t expect to see Hedwig flying toward her with a box attached to the claws.
“What’s this?” Harry asked Hedwig before opening the plain brown box up. There was a short letter right on top, one in unfamiliar handwriting.
‘Dancing with dementors is a short drive to insanity. The wolf will know what to do with these.’
Harry pulled the vials out carefully, turning them from side to side and studying the cloudy silver foggy liquid inside them.
“What’s that?” Fred asked Harry.
“No idea,” she admitted. She looked across the hall to Draco and held a bottle up with a quirked brow, a silent question Draco immediately understood. He shook his head and Harry believed him.
“It could be poison, loads of people here want to kill you,” Ginny chirped, walking up to the group to check out Harry’s mystery package.
Harry looked at Ginny over her shoulder. “Who wants to kill me?”
“Sirius Black,” Fred said.
“Hermione Granger,” George added, glancing to where Hermione was sitting with Neville. Hermione didn’t hate Harry, they just… weren’t as good friends anymore.
“Blaise Zabini,” Ginny said. “He fancies Pansy and Pansy fancies you,” Ginny explained when Harry glanced at her.
“Cho Chang,” Angelina said. “Maybe she’s scared to face us and is trying to kill off the competition.”
“I think all the seventh years in Ravenclaw hate you,” Oliver said, smirking at Harry. “They’re still pissed about the paint balloons during their NEWTS study session.”
“Oh and Professor Snape didn’t seem to be very happy with you,” Katie pointed out. “Have you been nicking potions from his stores again?”
Harry had.
“Not I,” Harry said brightly. She put the mystery vial back in the box with the other five and decided to take it up to her dorm so she could bring it to Remus during the feast that night.
The two of them had agreed to have dinner together instead of going to the feast. Harry didn’t like listening to her classmates laugh and celebrate the anniversary of the end of the last wizarding war when nobody seemed to remember what it had cost.
Plus, Harry had convinced a couple of the elves to spike all of Hufflepuff’s pitchers with the hair raising potion she stole from Snape. She didn’t have anything against the Hufflepuff’s, they were a friendly lot, but she liked to be an equal opportunity prankster.
When Harry was on her way to Remus’ after her last class that day, her box tucked carefully beneath her arm, she was surprised when Pansy Parkinson came running up to her in the hall just outside Remus’ door.
“Hey, Pans.” Harry forced a grin for Pansy. “What’s up?”
Pansy drew herself up tall and Harry felt uneasy at the unusual solemn look the girl wore.
“I wanted to say that I’m sorry you lost your parents,” Pansy said. “My family didn’t support the Dark Lord, but they didn’t oppose him either. They said your parents saved a lot of lives by their sacrifice.”
Harry was surprised, but not displeased, when Pansy reached out and hugged Harry before kissing her on the cheek and running off.
“What was that?”
Harry spun around and grinned sheepishly when she saw Remus standing in his doorway with a queer little smile on his lips.
“I’m not sure,” Harry admitted. “Here, someone sent me this today. My friends think it’s poison.”
Remus had been startled, but he relaxed as soon as they got in his office and moved straight through to the sitting room as part of his quarters.
“This isn’t poison,” he said. He held up a bottle and swirled it from side to side while he smiled slightly. “I may be wrong, but I think this is an incredibly thoughtful gift. Harry, will you order us food? Food you haven’t pranked,” he added sternly. “I’ll be right back.”
Harry rolled her eyes and ordered them both food and loads of dessert from the kitchens and patiently waited for Remus to return. Harry had already skipped straight to the chocolate biscuits when Remus returned with a giant stone basin in his arms.
“You have to eat actual food, Harry,” Remus lectured her without even looking at her chocolate filled plate. He grabbed one of the vials and poured it in the stone basin. “I’ve borrowed this from Albus, let me make sure this isn’t… unpleasant… and I’ll be right with you.”
Remus looked hysterical when he stuck his head in the basin, but Harry refrained from mocking him while she hurried up and ate as many sweets as she could before he pulled his head back out.
“You’ll like this,” Remus said a few minutes later when he pulled his head from the basin. Harry was wary about anything that made Remus smile sadly and his eyes fill with tears, but she trusted him implicitly so she stepped up and stuck her head in the basin as Remus gestured for her to do.
And, oh, Remus was right; it was an incredibly thoughtful gift.
All the vials in Harry’s mystery box were memories of Harry’s mum. The first was one of Lily sitting in a playground, chatting away to whoever sent Harry the vials. She was young, beautiful, and seemed to have endless energy as she talked and talked and talked about her friends in primary. The next one was Lily at Hogwarts, sitting in the quidditch stands, giggling and laughing while she watched teams fly around.
Every single vial was Harry’s mum - her voice, her smile, her beauty - and Harry was a terribly weepy mess by the time she finished viewing them all.
And then Sirius freaking Black ruined Harry’s night with Remus and her wonderful gift when he broke in the Gryffindor rooms with a knife and set the castle on lockdown.
Harry was curled up on Remus’ sofa, feigning sleep, while she eavesdropped on Remus talking in serious whispers with Headmaster Dumbledore and Professor Snape in his doorway. Dumbledore had told Remus he needed to join the search for Black, but Remus staunchly refused and insisted that his best place was staying with Harry until the others cleared the castle and came back to report to him.
“It doesn’t make any sense,” Remus was whispered to the others. “Why would Sirius go in the boys dormitory looking for Harry? Sirius was there when she was born, James made Sirius her godfather…”
“I believe Harry prefers the male pronouns, Lupin,” Snape sneered, causing Harry to grin in her pillow when she could practically hear Remus roll his eyes.
“Apologies,” Remus said tightly. “But Sirius wouldn’t know that, would he? So why would he go in the boy’s dorm if he wanted to find Harry?”
“Why indeed…” Dumbledore mused quietly. “We’ll leave you for the night, Remus, don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you need anything.”
“Thank you, Albus, and thank you for the pensieve,” Remus said. Harry pondered the way Remus lowered his voice to a near whisper then, “And you, Severus, thank you. It meant a lot.”
“I hardly did it for you,” Snape sneered.
Harry rolled on her side to face the sofa when the door closed and she could hear Remus returning. Harry didn’t ponder why Sirius Black had went in the wrong dorm if he was trying to kill her, she pondered why Remus never told her that Sirius Black was her godfather.
“Hey, Potter.”
Harry was in the middle of a conversation with Fred and George about getting ahold of some pixie blood for a potion she wanted to test out and saw Draco strutting toward her. The twins scuttled away quickly, hands full of gold for Harry’s purchase, and Harry turned to the Slytherin boy.
“Hey, Dray,” Harry grinned at him. “How’s my favorite rival?”
“Bored,” Draco whined. “There’s nothing to do.”
“All your friends leave for the holiday?” Harry asked without any actual sympathy. In the Gryffindor dorms, it was only Harry and the Weasley’s and it had been excellent fun so far. Percy kept snapping at them for being ‘boisterous’ but Harry, Ginny, and Ron had teamed up against the twins to out prank the others during the break.
So far, Harry’s team had a score of three while the twins only had two, a score she certainly wasn’t preening and bragging about at every opportunity.
Katie had invited Harry to her house again, but Harry wanted to stay with Remus. It had been tense between them ever since Halloween when Harry discovered that Remus had kept the ‘serial killing godfather’ from her, but Harry still loved Remus quite a bit and she would never leave him alone for Christmas.
They’d both spent much too many holidays alone.
“They did,” Draco pouted. “Do you want to duel?”
“Not really, no,” Harry shrugged. “We could go fly?”
“You don’t have a broom,” Draco pointed out.
Harry rolled her eyes. “You’ll loan me one from your team, obviously. Come on, come with me to grab a hat and coat and we’ll go steal me one of your fancy Nimbus 2001’s.”
“Why don’t you go buy a new broom with the money you made from selling stolen potions?” Draco asked while he followed Harry to the Gryffindor common room.
Harry winced. “It’s a sore subject for Remus. We’re disagreeing on it right now.”
Remus wanted to buy Harry a broom and Harry refused, as she had plenty of gold to buy herself a Firebolt if she wanted. Remus insisted that he was her guardian and he wanted to get her a broom, but Harry knew Remus couldn’t afford to spend a pile of money on a broom. Even a cheap broomstick was pricey and it was silly for Remus to waste his money on one.
“Why? Because he’s poor?” Draco asked.
Harry scoffed and shoved Draco in the wall. “Mind your own business, Dray. Come on, let’s see if we can steal a snitch from Ollie’s room too.”
Harry stole a snitch from Oliver and Draco stole a broom from Marcus Flint’s room - and ooh, Harry couldn’t wait until Lavender got back so they could gossip about why Marcus Flint had a Pudmere United cap in his room along with a Gryffindor quidditch scarf - and then the two of them ran outside to fly.
Draco was really pretty when he flew and Harry had time to watch him instead of focusing on a match. With the wind mussing up his hair and adding color to his pale cheeks, Draco was… he was very cute.
“You suck!” Draco laughed when he caught the snitch. He waved it toward her with a mocking smirk. “Go again?”
Draco was cute, but he was also an arrogant brat and Harry hated him.
Harry stayed in Remus’ quarters on Christmas Eve, filled with a childish desire to wake up and have a real Christmas with Remus. The night before Christmas, the two of them were curled up in separate chairs with fuzzy socks and cups of cocoa while they blinked sleepily at the burning fireplace.
“Remus?”
“Yes?”
“Why didn’t you tell me Sirius Black is my godfather?”
Remus sighed and Harry felt badly that he sounded so sad. She hadn’t wanted to make him sad, but she wanted to clear it away before they had their first real Christmas as a family.
“I suppose part of me didn’t want to upset you,” Remus said slowly.
Harry turned toward Remus and peered at him over the top of her mug. “And the other part of you?”
Remus looked at Harry with a small and sad smile. “And the other part of me wanted to be your only guardian. I didn’t want to share you with Sirius, I didn’t want him to get to taint the relationship you and I have.”
Harry shifted her mug to one hand so she could reach out to Remus with the other. “You’re the best family I’ve ever had,” she said honestly. “If I could pick any dad in the entire world, I’d choose you.”
Remus’ sad look washed away and Harry thought he looked genuinely happy when he reached out to squeeze her fingers. “And even though you are a menace and I can never trust food or drinks from you, you are the greatest daughter-pretending-to-be-a-son that I could ask for.”
Harry laughed and they clinked their cocoa mugs together in celebration of their perfectly happy little family Christmas…
… their perfectly happy little family Christmas that became the single greatest Christmas in the entire world when Harry’s mysterious gifter sent another unmarked brown package with a brand new, gleaming, maximum speeds of 120kph, Firebolt.
“Remus, I’m going to faint,” Harry said, running her hand lovingly down the beautiful handle. “Do you think the person who sent me the memories of my mum sent the broom too?”
“For the love of God, I hope not,” Remus said, sounding choked. “Harry, may I look that over, please?”
“Sure.” Harry handed Remus her broom and watched as he ran his wand down the length of it, murmuring spells under his breathe all the while. “What was that for?” Harry asked when he handed it back.
“Sirius would find it to be the height of comedy to curse a broom,” Remus said. He smiled at Harry and shook his head in disbelief. “Perhaps you’re right, someone in this castle certainly seems to be a fan of yours. Why don’t you go fly, Harry? I think I’m going to go have a chat with an old classmate of mine.”
Harry was all too eager to go test the broom out. She pecked Remus on the cheek and gave him a hug, so grateful for the jumpers he knit for her in ‘gender neutral’ designs and then ran out in the corridor and hesitated while she debated on which direction she wanted to go.
She could go get the twins, let them fly with her. Or she could go get Draco, show off her broomstick and make him beg her to let him ride it…
As much as Harry adored her twins, Harry truly wanted to make Draco beg her for a ride on the broom, and that settled the debate for her.
“Potter, please? Please, Potter?” Draco was on his knees in the empty Slytherin common room, all his dignity out the window the instant Harry showed him her new broom.
“What will you do for me?” Harry teased him.
“Anything,” Draco said swiftly. “What do you want?”
Harry thought it over carefully. This was a brilliant opportunity, one Harry might never get again.
“I want you to prank everyone at dinner tonight,” Harry declared. It was a small group left in the castle and Remus said they’d likely all sit at a single table. It would be the perfect time to prank them and it would be even better if Harry was free from the repercussions.
“At dinner?” Draco asked. “You’re mad, Potter, I don’t have time to plan a good prank by dinner.”
“Oh, I’ve got it planned, you just have to do it,” Harry said. “What d’you say, Dray? One silly little prank and I’ll let you ride my broomstick?”
“Fine, and if you promise to never mention me riding your broomstick again,” Draco said. He jumped up and shuddered. “You have a filthy mind.”
It took until they were out on the grounds and Harry was taking the first spin on the broom for Harry to work out what Draco meant.
“I DID NOT MEAN MY BROOM, I MEANT MY FIREBOLT!” Harry shouted at Draco. She did a barrel roll on her broom and dangled upside down to flip Draco off from the air. “YOU HAVE THE FILTHY MIND, YOU PERV!”
“SCREW YOU, POTTER! LET ME HAVE A TURN!”
Harry did, but only because she really wanted to see her brilliant prank played out in a risk free way.
Dinner was so horribly awkward that Harry thought everyone would be relieved to have an excellent prank pulled. Remus’ good cheer seemed to be gone and he and Snape were glaring viciously at each other, much more hatefully than usual.
Harry sat between Fred and Draco and had to bite her lip and duck her head when Christmas crackers were passed out.
“What’s the joke, Harrikins?” Fred whispered to Harry when he saw the way she was repressing her laughter.
“Not mine,” Harry breathed. “Dray’s.”
“Dray?” Fred whispered, his voice sharp. “You call Malfoy ‘Dray’?”
“Shh…” Harry elbowed him in the side. “Watch.”
Everyone grabbed a cracker and Harry even grabbed one to pull with Draco, it would be suspicious otherwise, and then—
BOOM!
The carefully designed crackers exploded and all the people seated at the table were suddenly doused in fine glitter of a mixture between red and green.
Remus slowly turned toward Harry and Harry was shaking so hard she probably looked like she was seizing.
“Harry Leo Potter…”
“Delightful!” Dumbledore cried. He was so covered in glitter that even his beard was sparkling. He winked at Harry and didn’t look put out at all by the sparkles. “How very festive, wouldn’t you say, Remus?”
“Yes,” Remus said, his eyes boring in Harry’s. “Very festive.”
“I think it really shows inner-house cooperation,” Harry said, forcing herself to speak calmly. “Red and green, get it, sir?”
Snape looked like he was going to kill Harry, but since she was actually mostly innocent, and Dumbledore chuckled and pulled another cracker with Harry herself, Harry figured she was off the hook.
Though, Gryffindor did lose a suspiciously large amount of points for the next five days while the glitter was still stuck to everyone’s skin.
On the day the other students returned from break, Harry was surprised when Hermione ran up to Harry and hugged her.
“I’ve missed you!” Hermione said with a smile. “It was peculiarly quiet over break and I realized I missed your chaos. Do you want to go to the library with me tonight? I need to revise that essay for Flitwick and didn’t take the right book home to—”
“Harry!”
Harry turned just in time to catch Pansy when she ran up to her and flung herself in Harry’s arms.
“I missed you,” Pansy said, smirking up at Harry. “Theo, Blaise, and Draco are dying for a snowball fight, do you want to come?”
“Sure,” Harry agreed. “Sorry, Mione, maybe some other time?”
“Yeah, sorry, Mione,” Pansy gave Hermione an obviously fake smile and simpering tone. “Maybe some other time.”
Hermione looked disappointed, but she was the one who refused to date Harry, so Harry waved to her and went with Pansy arm-in-arm to go throw snowballs at the Slytherin boys.
“Last time you climbed a tree you fell and broke your bones,” Pansy reminded Harry when Harry was soaked with snow, frozen to her bones, and sitting on the lowest branch of a tree by the lake.
“Did you cry?” Harry teased her. “Were you so scared I was hurt?”
“Of course not,” Pansy sniffed. “Draco got all high pitched and panicky though.”
“I did not!” Draco denied, sounding high pitched and causing Theo to laugh at him. “Fancy another race to the top, Potter?”
“Probably not,” Harry said. “Remus will be upset if I break my legs, he’s a helicopter parent.”
Harry locked her legs around the branch she sat on and swung herself upside down.
“Hey, Pans.”
Pansy stepped closer so she was facing Harry, even if she did look upside down. “Yeah?”
“I bet you did cry when I fell,” Harry said, practicing her flirting that she saw other boys use so easily. “I bet you were so scared.”
“I wasn’t,” Pansy denied. She stepped even closer and Harry could see the streaks of eyeliner around her eyes.
Harry wanted to wear eyeliner.
“I knew you’d be fine because you’re a dumb Gryffindor who does dumb things and always ends up fine,” Pansy told Harry.
“Yeah? Wanna see something really dumb?” Harry asked her, her heart racing when she said it
“If you’re doing it? Always,” Pansy murmured with a flutter of her mascara covered lashes.
Harry inched her legs down the branch and surged forward to kiss Pansy right in the middle of the grounds- right in front of Pansy’s friends.
And unlike Hermione, Pansy didn’t pull away and slap Harry. Pansy put her ice cold hands on Harry’s face and kissed Harry until Harry’s head spun and she accidentally let go of the branch and crashed to the ground.
“How did you come to find yourself in this room again, Mister Potter?”
Harry grinned when she saw Snape step in the Hospital Wing and linger at the foot of her bed. “I broke my wrist,” she said shamelessly. “It’s already fixed though, I’m just waiting on Madam Pomfrey to release me.”
“Climbing trees again?” Snape asked with a single brow raised.
“Yes, sir,” Harry quipped. “It’s not the climbing that gets me, it’s the fall.”
Nobody would ever believe Harry, but Harry swore she saw Snape’s lips twitch.
“I merely came to ascertain if Hogwarts was still doomed to suffer your presence. I assume the wolf will be prepared to coddle you in the morning.”
Harry hummed an agreement. It was a full moon and Harry knew that poor Remus would be locked in his office.
“Thank you for making his potions, sir,” Harry told Snape before he could leave the hospital wing. “I’m grateful that you keep Remus from being in pain.”
Snape didn’t turn back to her, but he did incline his head slightly at the door before he left.
It wasn’t until Harry was released and laying in her bed, bragging about her kiss with Pansy to Ron and Neville, that she realized Snape called Remus ‘wolf’…
…which was surely a coincidence.
Harry hadn’t planned on her single kiss with Pansy to turn in a relationship, but Pansy clearly did and Harry found that she didn’t really mind.
Pansy held Harry’s hand in the corridors and partnered with her in potions. She sat with Harry and her friends at breakfast - she really didn’t like Hermione Granger or the twins, but she didn’t mock them anymore than Harry did, so nobody seemed too fussed about Pansy sitting with them - and Harry sat with the Slytherins at lunch.
They sat alone at dinner because everyone needed space sometimes.
But they also sat in empty classrooms under Harry’s invisibility cloak and snogged. Pansy was a great kisser and she assured Harry that Harry was as well. And… and once… Harry had touched Pansy’s chest under her shirt but above her bra.
“Remus! Quick! Wake up!” Harry pounded on Remus’ bedroom door. “It’s an emergency!!”
Remus burst from his room almost immediately with his wand drawn and a wild look in his eyes. “What happened? What is it? Harry, are you okay?”
“No!” Harry wailed. “I think I’m gay!”
It took them two hours and almost three pots of tea, but Remus helped Harry list out all the people she found fanciable - Pansy, Oliver, Cedric Diggory - and smiled at her once she was done describing the things she liked about each of them.
“You’re bisexual, Harry,” Remus said with a yawn. “Or maybe you’re not, who knows? You’re thirteen, you’re just now exploring relationships. Relax and have fun, but not too much fun,” he added hastily.
“When did you know that you’re gay?” Harry asked him. “When did you know for sure? Because maybe I’m not gay or bisexual, maybe- maybe I’m just confused because Ron and Seamus are always talking about boobs and curves and maybe pretending to be a bloke has my head all mixed up.”
“I’ve seen you with your Pansy, I don’t think you’re confused at all,” Remus said. He coughed delicately. “And I was fourteen when I knew for sure.”
“Was that when you and Sirius started dating?” Harry asked.
Remus jolted and slopped some of his tea on the sofa. “What? Who- who told you about that? Severus?”
“What? No, I just guessed,” Harry said. “You talk about him like you love him.”
Remus looked at Harry for a long time, just staring but not really seeing her.
“Loved,” he finally said quietly. “I loved him.”
Harry patted Remus’ shoulder kindly. “I think you should try and fall in love again. I’d rather not share you, but you deserve to be happy.”
“As do you, dear,” Remus said. “And if that’s with Pansy or Cedric - not Oliver, he’s much too old for you - then don’t worry about labels. You know who you are, why does anything else matter?”
Truthfully, it didn’t.
So Harry and Pansy continued to date and they continued to snog and hold hands and eat together. Pansy joined Harry on her weekly gossip nights with Lavender and Parvati and Harry let Pansy practice makeup on her.
“You’re whipped,” Blaise laughed when Harry sat in the Slytherin common room and let Pansy put black eyeliner on her. “What kind of man lets his girlfriend cover him in makeup?”
“My man,” Pansy said smugly. She swiped dark eyeshadow on Harry and then leaned back to take in the full effect. “Lovely,” she said. “Here, look, Harry.”
Harry took the mirror from Pansy and felt her breath catch in her throat when she saw herself in makeup for the first time. She looked older, sophisticated… beautiful.
“I love it, Pans,” Harry said quietly, enraptured by her own image. She smiled gratefully at Pansy and leaned forward to kiss her chastely in front of their friends, and Harry’s rival.
“Harry?”
“Yeah?”
“Why do you never let me take your shirt off?”
Harry tripped a little bit. She and Pansy were walking to Hogsmeade for one of the last trips of the year and she glanced uncertainly at her girlfriend.
“I’m… shy,” Harry said.
Pansy bit her lip and stepped closer to Harry, lowering her voice so the other students walking to Hogsmeade couldn’t overhear their conversation.
“Are you shy or are you a girl?”
Harry’s hand clenched against her will and she felt herself panic. She pulled Pansy over behind a nearby tree and waited until the crowd of third years had went by before she spoke next.
“Why would you ask me that?” Harry asked Pansy.
“Because Hermione Granger told half the castle that you were a girl last year and you’re rather… pretty, for a boy,” Pansy said. “If you’re transgender, that’s fine, my Uncle was born female and he’s my favorite uncle. I just- I’m not a lesbian, Harry. So if you’re transitioning, that’s fine. I just want to know.”
Harry looked at Pansy, the first girl she truly fancied, and she wanted to lie. She wanted to say that she was transitioning and that she wanted to be a boy- that her brain was wired male while her body was female, but she couldn’t.
“I’m not transitioning,” Harry admitted sadly.
If she could just force herself to want to be a boy, life would be so easy. But Harry liked being a girl. Harry liked being a girl who slept in the boy’s dorm and gossiped with the girls and snogged Pansy in empty classrooms and pulled pranks with the twins.
Pansy took a deep breath and then Harry felt terrible when she saw her pretty dark eyes fill with sparkling tears. “If I could make myself be gay, I think that we’d be the baddest power couple ever,” Pansy told Harry. She squeezed Harry’s hand and Harry knew it was over.
“I’m sorry, Harry.”
Harry felt her chest ache and a tear slip out of the corner of her eyes. “I’m sorry too,” she said.
Pansy backed away a few steps. “I won’t tell anyone.”
And for some reason, Harry completely trusted her.
“If I could make myself want to be a boy, I think I’d love you,” Harry said with a small sob she couldn’t withhold.
Pansy had tears streaking down her cheeks that were still a little round from childhood. “If I could make myself be attracted to boobs and vagina, then I’d love you.”
“Bye, Pans,” Harry said sadly when Pansy backed away more and then turned and went to Hogsmeade by herself.
Harry couldn’t make herself go to Hogsmeade and pretend to be happy, not when her heart felt like it was broken in two. Instead, Harry went back to the castle and sat on the lawns out by the whomping willow and let the whipping branches mask the sound of Harry crying.
The full moon had never been so inconvenient to Harry. Pansy broke her heart in two and Remus wasn’t even available to let her cry to him over it.
“Harry? Mate?”
Harry looked up miserable, too sad to even be embarrassed, and saw Ron and the twins headed toward her with nearly identical frowns.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Fred rushed over by Harry and dropped to the ground beside her. “Are you hurt?”
“Pansy dumped me,” Harry cried. She turned her head and let Fred hold her tight while Harry cried about the unfairness of her and Pansy’s desires not matching up.
Ron and George began ranting and raving about Pansy and how they knew she wasn’t good enough for Harry, but Fred stayed quiet while he let Harry cry all over his Weasley jumper, inhaling the citrus smell of Fred’s soap, and he just rubbed her back soothingly.
“Pansy’s a moron,” Fred said when Harry’s cries turned to pathetic hiccups. “Hey, wanna go fill her dorm with snakes?”
Harry laughed and wiped away the tears from her face. “No,” she said. “Thank you though.”
Fred’s eyes were very blue and very warm when he looked at Harry. “Anytime.”
For the second time in only a couple of hours, Harry felt instinctively like she could completely trust him.
And, once again, Sirius freaking Black ruined the little moment Harry was having.
While Harry and Fred were staring at each other, they hadn’t noticed the large black dog that snuck up on their group until it grabbed Ron by the leg and began dragging him toward the Whomping Willow.
Harry and the twins followed and Harry cursed herself for not having her cloak or map on her, she’d gotten much too comfy in Remus’ quarters, she’d forgotten it wasn’t home and it was a very long walk to retrieve her belongings.
And then Harry met Sirius Black, face to face, and she immediately punched him in the face as hard as she could.
“How dare you break Remus’ heart?!” Harry screamed at him. “You betrayed my parents and you broke Remus’ heart and you are a despicable piece of filth!”
Harry didn’t care if Ron’s pet rat turned out to be Peter Pettigrew, she just felt horrible when Remus showed up and Harry saw the way he lit up when he saw Sirius.
“I used to have that,” Harry sighed sadly to Fred while Sirius and Remus embraced each other.
Fred wrapped an arm around Harry’s shoulders. “And you will again.”
With all the ‘excitement’, Harry hadn’t even considered Remus’ potion, but then Snape showed up with a goblet of wolfsbane and forced Remus to drink it before he stunned Sirius and ordered them all back to the castle.
“Can we check Ron’s rat when we get there?” Harry asked politely, torn between wanting to keep an eye on where Sirius bounced around unconscious and watching Remus as a docile wolf walking alongside their group. “If he’s an animagus, then you get to be the hero who discovered the man truly responsible for getting my mother killed. If they’re wrong, then you and I can poison Black together. It’s what I call a ‘no-lose situation’.”
Snape looked down at Harry with one of those twitchy looks on his face again. “Are you aware that Black is your godfather?”
“Yeah, but he also broke Remus’ heart and Remus is really like an actual father to me, which is much better than a godfather,” Harry said seriously.
Snape looked over where Remus was crouching along beside them and the twins were trying to scratch the fur on Remus’ head.
“Very well,” Snape agreed. “We will cast the spell on the rat when we get to Albus’ office. And when he remains a rat, we will be feeding Black to the dementors.”
“Deal,” Harry agreed.
And with all the excitement of Scabbers actually being Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black being exonerated, Harry had forgotten all about her heartbreaking breakup with Pansy.
Until she went to check on Remus the next morning and she found Sirius all curled up on the sofa with Remus and a peaceful smile of contentment was on Remus’ lips while they slept.
Harry sent forlorn glances at the Slytherin table all through the leaving feast. The Gryffindor’s were holding a party afterward, a celebration for the leaving seventh years, and Harry had never felt less like partying in her life.
“Mate, forget her,” Ron said firmly when he saw who Harry was looking at. “If she dumped a great bloke like you, then she’s not worth it.”
“A great girl.”
“What’s that?”
Harry cleared her throat and repeated herself, “If Pansy dumped a great girl like me, then she’s not worth it.”
Ron’s jaw dropped and a bit of food fell from his mouth, which was disgusting, but Harry hadn’t even noticed because suddenly all the Gryffindor’s hair shifted from their natural colors to a bright neon green.
“It wasn’t me!” Harry cried immediately when more than one person turned to her with a glare. She looked over at the twins and caught a smirk and a wink from Fred.
“What’s a feast without a prank?” Fred asked her.
Harry grinned in complete agreement. “What’s a feast without a prank, indeed.”