Powerless and Tormented
Malfoy’s lips are on him again and this time Harry lets him take the lead and does his best to match what Malfoy’s doing so that it works better.
He’s never been kissed before and he can feel the energy flowing through his body, the excitement and anticipation and the jitters that come with doing something new- something new that he’s choosing for himself this time.
He closes his eyes and savors the moment. The sensations he feels in his body, the feel of Malfoy’s soft lips touching Harry’s slightly chapped ones, Malfoy’s eyelashes fluttering closed against his cheek as Harry parts his mouth to grant his tongue access, his long lean fingers still circling his wrist gently as his other hand comes to rest along Harry’s chest.
He lightly pushes Harry back so that he’s resting against Hogwart’s stone slabs, and Harry is starting to feel like he’s being too nice. His heart, which had already been beating fast from what they are doing, increases in speed now. He wishes being treated kindly didn’t scare him so much.
The kiss becomes passionate again, now that they seem to have a rhythm and Harry moans as Malfoy’s hands ghost under the hem of his shirt. His tongue wrestles with his own in a twisted tease and Harry reaches to cup Malfoy’s arse and he pulls him closer.
“What the hell are we doing?” Malfoy pants between kisses and Harry feels a spike of anxiety, because he doesn’t know what Malfoy wants them to be doing.
But he knows what he wants.
“Having fun.” Harry says, “Making each other feel good.”
“I’m straight.” Malfoy insists again.
“Good thing I’m not trying to be your boyfriend then.” He says, deciding that he wants to kiss Malfoy’s neck like he’d done to Harry last time.
Malfoy moans and his body curls upwards against Harry’s.
It all feels so good and Harry is drowning in lovely touches and conflicting emotions, his senses going haywire. Malfoy pulls his shirt up, slowly and delicately before his passion takes over and it’s ripped off the rest of the way and he grabs his own shirt and disposes of it quickly.
Harry, in a rare moment of confidence, leans down and takes one of Malfoy’s nipples in his mouth. He suckles it, licks it, nips at it, pulling it with is teeth. Harry loves how it pebbles and hardens underneath his ministrations and he feels his own arousal building as he teases Malfoy. The sounds Malfoy makes just reinforces him further and he slips over to his other nipple, giving it the same treatment.
"Look at how much you like my nipples, you sick, twisted whore.” Malfoy says, sending waves of need through is body as he’s shamed for what he’s doing.
The fear melts away instantly and he’s left with need and humiliation spinning around in a dangerous dance and Harry groans loudly, his own body rubbing against Malfoy’s.
Malfoy teases his zipper down and he wants him so much it leaves him shaking with desire. Harry shucks off his bottoms and Malfoy is undoing his own and Harry can’t fucking wait for more.
He watches as Malfoy takes off his own pants and he really is quite pleasant to look at. He’s so glad he finally get’s to see him like this and he’s touching him again, exploring Malfoy’s body in a way that hasn’t been explored before.
“I’m going to fuck you, Potter.”
The first thing he feels is fear at hearing those words, a flash of the man from this past summer forming in front of him sudden and unwelcome.
“I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll be screaming in pain.”
Harry blinks and he’s back in the present. He chokes on air for a second and he feels horrified as he’s struck by such strong desire. He wants to push Malfoy away and tell him to fuck off. He wants to say, ‘yes, please!’ and let him do whatever he wants to him.
But there’s hesitancy for another reason too. He’s almost certain Malfoy hasn’t done this before…
“Not tonight you’re not.” Harry decides, despite his own disappointment.
“Ugh, whyyy.” Malfoy whines- actually whines and Harry can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous he is.
“God you’re such a spoiled brat, aren’t you? Not used to hearing no?”
“At least I’m not pathetic enough to beg for cock from someone who hates me.” Malfoy snaps, and ouch that kind of stings, because Harry knows it’s true.
He’s a disgusting whore who liked getting raped and likes being used and wants Malfoy to take him further than he wants to go, because that’s what gets him off. He is fucking pathetic and he is desperate for cock and he wants it from someone who despises him, because the thought of it from someone who cares about him might actually be the form of his boggart now if he had to face off against one. He’s almost willing to bet that it’d be true.
He pulls Harry away from the wall now and spins him around, pushing him forwards hard and his chin hits the stone harshly. He cries out at the pain and goes to push away, but Malfoy holds him in place with a strong hand.
“Have you ever had sex?” Harry grunts out, trying to fight Malfoy off.
“No… But I’m going to tonight.” He insists.
“You couldn’t even look at me after the last time… you’re first time isn’t going to be some drunken mistake that you regret tomorrow. Not if you’re with me anyway.”
“Jesus, will you shut the fuck up!?” Malfoy hisses.
The next thing Harry knows a ball gag is appearing in his mouth and his limbs are tied to the walls and he feels so helpfulness in that moment. His breathing picks up and he panics at being so powerless, trying desperately to get out of the restraints. A now familiar sense of dread overcomes him as he’s once again being bound against his will. It makes him feel sick and needy and desperate and dreadful and he hates it and loves it in equal measure.
He’s humiliated and afraid at being stopped so easily, unable to fight and he drips with desire at the feeling.
Malfoy chuckles and Harry hears him mutter a spell he’s never heard before, followed by a squelching sound and Harry thinks that Malfoy is touching himself as he watches Harry struggle. He feels Malfoy stepping closer towards him, but he doesn’t touch Harry. He stands just outside of reach as he gropes himself behind him. Harry feels anticipation pooling in his groin and he feels so confused.
“Shh” Malfoy breathes into his ear, his hand threading through his hair is gentle until it’s not and he’s pulling his head back painfully “You scared?”
And yes, he’s fucking scared. This is horrible.
Harry can’t talk. He can’t talk! He can’t move. He can’t fight him off. He can’t tell him no. He doesn’t want to tell him no. He really, truly doesn’t. If it weren’t for the fact that Malfoy was drunk and a fucking virgin and he had the ability to speak- well, he’d be fucking begging for him to fill him up right now. The thought of Malfoy regretting this when he is sober is the only thing that keeps him grounded enough to want to say no if he could.
Harry whimpers and moans around the gag and Malfoy’s face comes so close he can practically feel his magic buzzing against his neck, even if their skin doesn’t touch.
“Shh… Shhh. Just relax, Potter.”
The soft hushes are warm puffs against his ears and even if it’s patronizing it’s so damn hot.
He flinches when hands start to work their way down his back, but only a moment later he’s melting into the wall, enjoying what he’s doing to him, but needing more.
“Everything will be fine… Shh, you don't have to tell anyone you’re letting me do this. Just feel… Just let it happen.”
His fingers come to rest on his ass and give a quick squeeze and then he feels them dip between his cheeks and he feels guilty, because he doesn’t want Malfoy’s first time to be something he regrets. It’s not the same as being raped, but.. but Harry knows what it’s like to wish it’d never happened and how fucked up he is because of it now… but he wants it so bad, and probably shouldn’t want it, not when Malfoy is ignoring him saying no and making it impossible for him to do anything but take it, but he does. Fuck, does he want it.
“It’s okay.. I’m just gonna have a little fun with you. That’s what you wanted, right?“
The soothing words that sound sweet, but aren’t because of his actions. His precum practically spews from him. His stomach is so very wet and he tries to adjust himself so his dick is between the wall and his belly button and he moves his hips slightly, groaning at the pleasure, glad that the stone wall feels smooth and not rough against his cock.
“Dirty little faggots like you get what you deserve.” Malfoy grounds out, his voice mean and suddenly he’s ripping Harry’s hips away from the wall. He feels anger and shame at being called such a thing and if he could talk he’d be telling the other boy off right now.
He can hear his uncle and cousin in his head for a moment, calling him awful names when they found out he’d been raped and he feels his eyes sting, tears forming in the corners at being treated like this while his cock twitches in interest and he’s not sure if he hates his family or that man or Malfoy or himself more in this moment.
Malfoy’s fingers circle his pucker now, and his body stiffens against it. This time the fear is overwhelming and suddenly he’s not so sure he wants this at all.
He’s laughing at Harry again, but surprisingly he feels the fingers slide away from him and he hears another spell as his legs are brought together and re-bound.
He can feel the wet tip of Malfoy’s dick between his thighs and Harry feels so confused, relief shooting through his body as Malfoy slides between his legs. With a jolt of sudden understanding he realizes that Malfoy was never going to take him after Harry said no and had just been playing with his head and now he wants Malfoy to fuck him even more.
He also feels anger at Malfoy’s actions. It’s almost like Malfoy had been proving that he could force him if he wanted. That people don’t say no to him, that if Malfoy doesn’t do it it’s because he’s chosen not to.
The roller coaster of emotions that seem to peak and plummet, that leave him trapped in fear in one moment, relief and desire the next… it’s fucking addicting and it makes his body extra sensitive to every touch.
“You’re so good... letting me use you like this. Are you ashamed of yourself for liking this so much?”
He hadn’t been in that moment, but Malfoy reminding him that he should feel ashamed for being so depraved brings it all back and he’s humming with desire. His cock twitches and yearns to be touched. The fact that Malfoy is rutting between his thighs and using him like some sort of cock sleeve and not touching him or giving him the option of touching himself… he can’t even thrust against the wall anymore.
Harry’s upper half is arched to make allowance for the way his arms are tied upwards and the way his lower half has been pulled from the wall and he feels sort of slutty like this. His thighs are soaking wet from whatever lube Malfoy has used. The other boy moans into his ear as his thrusts pick up speed, leaving him aching.
“If I wasn’t so sick of hearing your stupid voice I’d make you beg me to use your thighs like this.”
Droll drips from his mouth as he wines around the ball gag. He wonders how he could feel so debauched from nothing, really. It seems to drag on forever and Harry’s impressed by his stamina, but undone from the lack of his own pleasure.
Eventually he feels Malfoy parting his arse cheeks and his face goes red at such a vulgar act. But then Malfoy is leaving his thighs and his cock slides between his cheeks.
That horrible feeling of arousing fear pools in his gut again, but Malfoy doesn’t breach him. Instead he pumps himself against his ass, his cock sliding down and rubbing against his taint, his balls, back again, teasing at his hole but never actually going inside.
Harry’s moaning like a whore at the tiny bit of stimulation he gets from this. Something about having been denied for so long makes it feel like he’s getting more than he is and he almost thinks he could cum from this.
He’s frustrated at being tied up, but this time it’s because he wants so badly to reach down and grab his throbbing member that’s aching to be touched. He wishes he could beg him for it, so on edge and yet any sort of true pleasure is held just out of reach, beyond his control.
“There's nothing to be ashamed of.. Letting me touch you like this... Fuck, when you can’t even move.”
Malfoy’s sick. He’s a sick fuck and usually that turns him off when he’s bullying people like Neville, but right now Harry celebrates how twisted Malfoy is that he gets off on this. If only he’d fucking touch him.
“Oh, fuck! Yesss! That’s it- don't move!”
The stubborn part of him that usually doesn’t exist when Malfoy and sex is involved roars to life and he shifts his body in a way that dislodges his dick and Malfoy growls, manhandling him back in position. The animalistic grunts don’t stop and he’s saying words Harry can hardly understand between groans and feral sounds.
On occasion he can hear a few words like “good boy” or “whore” and other things that don’t make sense out of context of the ones he couldn’t make out.
And then “fuck, yes.” And “Stay still, bitch.” And “Let me use your stupid. arse. to get off.” And “Gonna. cum. all. over. you.”
And then he does. Harry can actually feel Malfoy convulsing against his sensitive balls making him groan at one of the rare moments of pleasure he’s felt during this, each contraction followed by a wetness between his legs, between his arse cheeks, against his balls as Malfoy howls out his pleasure, grinding through his peak.
Malfoy’s body practically collapses on Harry’s. He’s still stuck at an awkward position as he holds up Malfoy’s heavy weight with his own and it’s uncomfortable. His body is starting to feel sore and it trembles with the strain it feels, both from the sheer need and the physical burden of being stuck like this for so long. He feels grief as he struggles to accept the fact that he wouldn’t be getting any relief until he’s alone in his room or some bathroom somewhere.
Harry is shocked whenever he’s released from his restraints, the gag removed, and he turns around to see Malfoy on his knees in front of him.
“I’m never doing this again.” He says. “… just want to see what it’s like.”
And then he’s taking Harry’s cock into his mouth and Harry keens, falling back against the wall once again, his fingers at his sides, but digging into the stone almost painfully. He’s never felt something so good in his life and he’s making embarrassing sounds now and Malfoy moans around him and fuck it’s better than he’d imaged it would be.
He hardly lasts more than 30 seconds before he’s pushing Malfoy away to prevent his own release, humping the air like a bitch in heat until he comes down from it.
“Still think you look beautiful when you deny yourself like that.” Malfoy says.
It warms his heart after being treated so cruelly and Harry thinks maybe it isn’t as confusing as he thought. Maybe it makes sense he wants to be treated harshly, but still have kind things said to him afterwards so he can feel like maybe he’s not so bad for liking this.
“And I don’t particularly see the appeal of giving head.” Malfoy laughs, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
This time Harry is struck by how cute Malfoy is and a part of him thinks he might actually like him and not just what he does to him.
It’s Harry who bolts afterwards this time, horrified at the thought. The look of hurt on Malfoy’s face as his abrupt departure haunts him until he falls asleep and returns with a vengeance the following morning and he can’t get it out of his head now.