Settling in
Summer of 1978
“It’ll be fun!”
Those were the words ringing in everyone’s ears when they left for the summer. Left for good. Their 7th year was over and done with and they all had agreed that it called for celebration of some sorts.
So James had a mission and he was bringing everybody on board with him - Sirius wasn’t entirely sure what he’d promised Evans but even she had agreed.
Camping - and not just ‘camping’ with magical tents and apparating to where they wanted to get. No, the ordinary, muggle kind. Sirius was, to be honest, excited but mostly terrified that they’ll either burn down a forest or find themselves without any light or warmth because they couldn’t make a fire.
“That’s why we have Moony, Evans and Macdonald!” James had wasted no time in promising the three muggle-borns that the rest of them would do EVERYTHING they said for the entirety of the trip (a week) as long as the trio helped.
Sirius wasn’t sure if he was thrilled that they’ll be spending a week together in tiny tents or not.
After the trip was scheduled (into late June and the start of August), there was nothing to do but wait.
And Sirius did wait. He was well aware that this trip might’ve been the one thing that would help him figure out the tangle of feelings he’d found himself all throughout the 5th year. When you find out that you might be in love with your best friend, the whole world sort of tilts on its axis.
When everything used to be black & white, it was hard to see the world full of colour and that’s exactly what happened when James entered Sirius’ life, along with the other marauders.
But after years of ‘Sirius, don’t be a prick’, late nights in front of the fire place with Remus’ legs on his lap as he reads, Remus smacking Sirius along the head when he’s hid James’ glasses again so he could see how blind he really is, drinking tea with too much sugar, whispering fears that dissolve when they’re balanced by soft assurances, sneaked cigarettes on the windowsill, ink-stained fingers going over the parchment when Sirius is too knackered to do his homework, wind-swept hair after a full moon - after all those things and more, it’s hard to go back to before. When it used to be simple colours and not tinted with golden edges.
Not that Sirius would want to go back, he just didn’t know what to do about it. All of it.
A few days before the trip, when he was about to make his grand escape (actually, he hadn’t told this to anyone else but James, but it was the escape), he bumped into Regulus.
Which was odd, considering he was always holed up in his room, moping about one thing or another. It was always moping with Reg.
“Hey there, Reggie boy, finally realised you’d started talking to yourself so you decided to see if there were other living people still in the house?” Sirius asked cheerily. He hadn’t felt so cheerful in ages, all things considered. “I’m afraid you’re out of luck, the shrew’s gone with the rest of the lot so there’s only Kreacher, though seeing how he adores you I think you should take your chances.”
Regulus made a vague, rude hand gesture and Sirius raised a brow.
“No comeback? What is wrong with you?” he asked, immediately suspicious.
Regulus pursed his lips. “Piss off.” and he tried to get past but Sirius’ hand latched onto him.
As he was trying to stop Regulus from getting away, he saw that his little brother winced when Sirius grabbed him.
“Get off,” Regulus mumbled but Sirius had already twisted him so that he could roll up his sleeve to reveal a scar from his wrist to his elbow.
Sirius squinted. Regulus rolled his eyes, sighing impatiently and snatching his hand away, rolling down the sleeve.
“What did you do?” Sirius asked him, barely above a whisper. He must’ve done something big to piss mum off ‘cause Reggie usually got away with most stuff
Baby boy, and all that.
Regulus’ mouth was a hard line and he stared at the ceiling, quiet.
Minutes ticked by and Sirius stayed where he was. He could stop Regulus from storming off, and he would. Only he knew his brother wouldn’t, so instead he waited.
“Called Bella a-” Regulus breathed in and said in one string of words, all jumbled together while his cheeks flared up “adaftcow”.
Sirius stared at him for a few seconds before saying, “Come again?” with a twitch of his lips.
Regulus looked like he was in absolute pain and wished he could be anywhere else. “I called her a daft cow. Mother wanted to make me go visit her and her husband,” at this, Regulus rolled his eyes, “and I said I didn’t fancy having tea with our dark-arts loving daft cow of a cousin. She didn’t take it well.”
Sirius stared at Regulus who jutted out his chin, as if challenging Sirius to say something. Instead, Sirius burst out laughing and put a hand over his shoulders. Regulus tried to shake him off but to no avail.
“Oh, you absolute wanker! Who knew you had it in you, eh? Next time be ready with a defensive spell, though with mother it probably would do more damage than good.” he laughed again good-naturedly.
Regulus allowed a small smile and nodded towards the big bag he could see in Sirius’ room on the floor. “Fucking off again?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Sirius sobered up, giving Regulus a glance. He thought about it for a moment. “The camping trip, remember?”
“The one Potter was announcing to the whole school? I remember.” Sirius was pretty sure that if Regulus kept rolling his eyes like that they might stay permanently backwards, only displaying white. Now that was a disturbing idea.
He let go of Regulus and gnawed at his lips for a second. Regulus was just turning when he said “Actually, I won’t be coming back.”
There was silence when Regulus turned, slowly. His stony face betrayed nothing. “So?”
“So,” Sirius said. But he wasn’t sure what else there was.
Regulus shrugged and started to walk away again but in a last attempt to make his thoughts known, Sirius jogged after him, walking towards the staircase together. “Wanna come? To the trip?”
Regulus looked so shocked, it might’ve been funny if Sirius wasn’t so shocked by his own words himself. “On a muggle camping trip? With you and a bunch of nitwits? With Potter, Pettigrew and Lupin? You couldn’t pay me to go through with that.” Regulus said, once he’d recovered.
“It’s just- Mum’s still gonna be angry when she’s back and I won’t be here to be her punching bag. So just come with and stop being such a whiny baby all the time.” Sirius said, adopting an elderly brother stance. He only had a few small inches on Reg, but that didn’t much matter anyways.
Regulus laughed. “She’ll calm down in a week or two. I’d rather take that than listen to Potter talk about quidditch for a week.” he said, heat behind his words.
Sirius raised a brow. “Would you? ‘Cause without me here bearing the brunt of it, what do you think you’ll look like after that week or two is up?”
Regulus didn’t move but his eyes betrayed him - they widened a bit and he looked slightly bashful, finally looking down, mumbling something.
Sirius didn’t hear and he didn’t really care. He wouldn’t have forgiven himself if he’d left his little brother there, alone, when he wasn’t intending to return.
“Pack your shit, Reggie, you’re going camping!”
//
“I thought camping meant tents.” Peter said when they were all standing in front of a cabin made of strong logs, moss covering it here and there. He didn’t sound too disappointed, though.
“That’s later, Wormy, we’re building up to it!” James said, chirpy as ever.
“Tell me when that happens so I can cut holes into all of the tents so we won’t have to go,” Marlene said from the corner of her mouth, leaning towards the gang while James marched ahead.
Mary laughed.
“He could just magic them back together.” Peter reasoned.
“No magic, remember, Pete?” Lily said now, smiling smugly. She tossed her red hair and followed James up the road.
The cabin was just at the edge of a woods, pines struggling for light amongst the fir. They could hear the birds chirping away. The road that led up to the cabin divided into two before it could make it to the house, leading also to a small lake that was glistening underneath the hot sun.
They got lucky with the weather, Sirius’ supposed. It was raining in London, but blue skies somewhere near Galway. James’ parents had insisted they send a message to them from time to time, with them being so far away, and since they couldn’t carry an owl with them, James had made sure they were within the reach of a telephone - there was a small village not too far away.
Euphemia had set up a telephone specifically for just this in their home (“Oh, Remus dear, you must show me how to use it properly!”) and had lectured them on calling if something went wrong.
Sirius thought she was a bit too overprotective - but that didn't mean it didn’t feel nice.
“Fancy a swim, fellas?” Dorcas asked, looking longingly at the lake that gleamed back at them. Her dark skin gleamed along with it.
“Let’s see what house of horrors James has rented for us first,” Remus said, gloomy as ever.
They’d picked a day a few days after the full moon so that he could rest properly before the trip, but he still seemed a bit tired to Sirius. He walked up to him and, hand going over his shoulder, shoved Remus a bit as they walked up to the cabin.
“Cheer up, Moony! Nothing bad ever happens during the day, you can start worrying about axe murderers during the night.” Sirius laughed.
“Never should’ve made you guys go to the movies with me.” Remus mumbled.
“I think we all know there are scarier things that muggles with axes.” Regulus said with an air of boredom, stalking close behind.
He was still mopy as ever, but welcomed by the rest of the group. No one had really questioned why he had suddenly joined them on the trip and after exchanging a look with James, Sirius had felt that there was nothing to add. Regulus was usually silent and passive-aggressive but to his complete horror (and Sirius’ joy) the rest of them had started to treat him as the groups’ baby.
Remus’ head whipped towards Regulus with such speed, Sirius heard a crack. Remus rubbed his neck, eyes wide and startled.
“Yeah, nothing is scarier than Walburga Black when you’ve draped mud all over her mediaeval family heirloom carpet.” Sirius quickly said, dissolving Remus’ worries.
Lily was the only one who knew about Remus’ ‘furry little problem’ besides the rest of the marauders, and Sirius was well aware that it wasn’t as if Remus was deliberately holding himself back about saying something - he just didn’t know how to deliver such news. And, Sirius guessed, Regulus Black probably wasn’t high in the list of who Remus would’ve liked to have the ‘werewolf’ talk with.
They reached the cabin, which was a quite nice two story house with a roof that had grass growing out of it. Sirius stared.
“Why is there a whole flora growing out of that roof?” he asked, when James had taken the stairs (about 5 steps) to the small porch and put the key in the keyhole.
“Flora? Your snobbery is showing.” Remus said, standing next to him and looking at the roof as well with a tiny smile.
“I’ll have you know that the ability to speak with class is what makes an intelligent man.” Sirius said with an air of superiority, waving his hand elegantly and enunciating every word as posh as he could.
Remus snorted. “That explains a lot.” he mumbled and Sirius shoved him so he almost fell over.
“Oi, you wanker-”
“Boys, already? Let’s wait for nightfall before you start ‘wrestling’ with each other again.” Dorcas said, sounding mildly bored and slightly amused. She pushed past them to follow James and Lily into the room.
“Goodbye, world. This is where my inevitable doom lies.” Regulus said, following the bickering Sirius and Remus inside with Mary, Marlene and Peter in tow.
Inside the house, James shouted “I heard that, Black!”
Regulus made a face and Sirius laughed when he stepped over the threshold, shaking his head a bit.
Inside, it was cosy. The cabin’s first floor was on open plan living room/kitchen nook, with a big (albeit old-looking) fire place in the sitting area with a very comfortable looking green velvet couch and two honey-coloured armchairs (Sirius didn’t know a lot about interior design but that struck him as a poor colour-combo). The small kitchen had a stove and some electrical-looking machines (one of them could’ve been a macarone weaver but he’d have to ask Remus).
There was a large, fuzzy and soft looking black carpet with some colourful flower embroidery on it. The lamps gave the whole room a soft glow, because there was only one window in this particular room and it was facing towards the forest, where the sun couldn’t come through.
The second floor extended by half above their heads - a wooden stair which was as steep as it could possibly get went up where the second floor was cut off by a bannister. When Sirius went to the other side of the room downstairs, he could see the second floor enough to determine five beds in a neat row.
“Home sweet home!” James said, standing in the middle of the room, looking utterly pleased with himself.
“Right, there’s the bathroom-” James pointed to a door downstairs that had a little picture of a bee on it. “Upstairs there’s five beds and there are two bedrooms down here with double beds, so-”
“Well, then. Come on girls.” Marlene said, going for the stairs. “It’ll be a slumber party.” She smiled at the girls, all wicked and spark.
Lily laughed. “There’s 4 of us, Marls. Who’s the 5th girl?”
“I was thinking, that-” James started but was cut off by Regulus.
“I am not sharing a room with my brother. I see him enough as it is.” he was leaning on the wall, looking absolutely bored.
Sirius feigned hurt. “Is this what I get for looking after your sorry-ass for years?” He glanced at Remus quickly.
If he could maybe pair up with Moony, then-
“Well, I’m not going with the girls. They’ll just keep me up all night with their giggling.” Peter said, rolling his eyes.
“I think-” James started once more, eyes darting from Lily, to Sirius, to Regulus.
“I can go with the girls and you lot can figure out the rest.” he was once again interrupted, this time by Remus.
Sirius felt a weird sinking feeling in his stomach. Well, there goes that.
“He is the honorary girl in the group.” Mary said, nodding while Marlene and Lily laughed. Dorcas was watching them, amused.
“What am I, a piece of furniture? I let you ruin my hair all the time.” Sirius said now, not actually wanting to bunk with the girls but still.
“Style, not ruin. And that’s just because you actually like when we do that.” Mary now countered.
“I am not-” Regulus started again and James looked about done.
“Alright! Well, Peter can go with Sirius then and Regulus, you can come with-” he started.
Regulus looked panicked for a moment before quickly cutting in, “I’ve changed my mind, out of all of you Sirius is probably the one I can suffer the most - all that practice.”
Sirius faked a dramatic gasp while James snorted. “Well, that doesn’t hurt my feelings at all,” he said, sounding weird.
“Then I’ll bunk with Prongs,” Peter said, happy about this.
“You mean I have to suffer in one room with my baby brother for a week? Bless this trip.” Sirius said, now slightly grumpy. Reggie flipped him off while Remus went up with the girls.
Their room was small but sharing a bed wasn’t news to either of them. Even though Regulus would die before admitting it (and Sirius likewise), there had been moments in the past where it all became too much and in the night, Regulus would come crawling to Sirius’ room and they would lie under the covers, telling each other stories so the silence wouldn’t be so deafening.
They hadn’t done that for a few years now, ever since Regulus turned 16. Sirius had to admit, he missed it. He missed knowing what was going on in his brother’s life.
Finally unpacked, they all gathered in the living room.
Marlene fell into one of the armchairs, bringing Dorcas down with her in a fit of giggles and she settled on her lap. Lily sat on the carpet, leaning onto the armchair at their feet. Mary went into the second armchair, while James, Peter, Remus and Sirius sat on the sofa. Regulus sat on the edge of the armrest of the couch gingerly, right next to James.
“Alright, it’s still noon, so I suggest we eat some lunch and then try out that lake-” James started.
“You’re not supposed to swim on a full stomach.” Lily quipped.
They all stared at her, amused, and she blushed a bit but held her head high. “What? That’s what my mum always says.”
“Alright, since Evans is apparently the ‘parent’ around here, we’ll swim first, then eat?” James amended.
There was a chorus of agreement. Marlene raised her hand, as if in class. James pointed at her. “McKinnon?”
“What are we eating? We aren’t supposed to use magic, right?” she asked, smiling.
They all turned to James. He cleared his throat. “Right, there’s a small village not far from here - about a 20 minute walk. I’ve got some muggle money - my dad helped me with that - so we just have to go shopping.”
“I could do that, I don’t fancy a swim anyways.” Remus said quickly.
Sirius gave him a look. He knew Remus wouldn’t take off his clothes in front of the others because of the scars. He straightened up a bit. “I’ll come with.”
Remus raised a brow at him.
“What? It’s not like that lake’s going anywhere.” he shrugged and he could see the small smile on Remus’ lips before he turned.
Sirius’ felt a little tug in his stomach, like a cord being pulled on a guitar.
“Hold on. We’ve gotta distribute the tasks first.” Lily said, getting up now. Mary stood up too, along with Remus.
They were all grinning.
“Oh, no. What tasks?” Peter was the first to ask.
Lily grinned even wider. “Since this is a muggle venture and you lot haven’t really had the experience, we figured each of you have to complete a muggle task during the week. Anyone who doesn’t complete it by Sunday will have to buy a round of butterbeer for everyone.”
Regulus stared at them like they were mad. Sirius wanted to agree with his brother at this point. “Muggle tasks?” he asked, suspicious.
Remus smirked. “Come on, Padfoot, when have you ever backed down from a challenge?”
And yeah, when Remus put it that way - with his little smirk and the teasing tone - Sirius could definitely, will certainly, do whatever he wants him to.
“As long as I don’t have to wash someone’s socks.” Peter said, loudly.
They burst into laughter.
After a minute or two (Marlene started laughing again so they had to wait for her to calm down), Lily distributed the first task.
“Potter, you’re to make a fire without magic, obviously. Either a campfire or a fire in the fireplace, with no help from any of us.” she gestured to the three of them. “Regulus, you’re supposed to chop the firewood for him to do it.”
“Chop the- are you insane-” Regulus started but James was already nodding, looking excited.
“Easy.” he said.
“We’re all going to freeze to death.” Regulus commented.
James shoved him off the couch armrest and Regulus fell on the floor without preamble.
“You ass-” he said, supporting himself on his elbows. James stuck out his tongue at him.
“Dorcas and Marlene, when we go into the woods with tents, you’re gonna figure out how to pitch them.” Lily said then.
Dorcas, still perched on Marlene’s lap, waved a hand dismissively. “Could do it with our eyes closed.”
“Dorcas, I’ve never in my life even seen an actual non-magical tent before.” Marlene said, very unconvinced. Lily laughed.
“Peter, you’re to figure out muggle money. At least for one shopping trip, you’ll have to do it all by yourself.” Mary said next.
“What?” Peter asked, voice high. “You can’t expect me to just ‘figure it out’!”
“We have ever the faith in you, Wormy.” Sirius said, sniggering.
Remus turned to him and Sirius shut up promptly.
“Padfoot, dinner.” he said, like it was a command. He was still smirking, the way he did when he knew he had the upper hand (which was almost always).
“Oh, great, we’ll freeze AND starve to death. Marvellous.” Reggie said, still on the ground and somehow making it look like that’s where he planned to lounge all along.
“If I could use magic right now, you wouldn’t have a full head of hair anymore.” Sirius told him, nicely.
“And you wouldn’t have to be figuring out how to work an electric stove.” Regulus said with an air of boredom.
“It’s actually part-gas, part-electrical.” Lily supplied helpfully.
“What?” Sirius asked, dumbly.
Remus laughed. “Let’s get to it?”
//
The others went down the same as before, taking a turn towards the lake, screaming and laughing as they went. Marlene was halfway taking off her dress to reveal a red black bathing suit with cherries on it so Dorcas stared and promptly stumbled over a rock and fell into a road-side bush.
Remus and Sirius left them all to it and started walking towards the said shop. James had given them a map - Remus was holding it because he ‘didn’t trust Sirius to find his own socks so why would he find the store’.
Sirius was only mildly offended.
He was wearing black ripped jeans which, now he thought about it, were a poor choice because walking 20 minutes in skin-tight pants wasn’t ideal. But, it made his whole ensemble complete, going with his white T-shirt with a Led Zeppelin logo on it (Remus gifted it to him last year) and the black leather jacket. He’d tied some of his hair in a bun at the back of his head, fixed with his wand that he’d stuck through them (Remus gave him one of his disapproving looks at this), and the rest of his hair flew freely around with the wind.
He put on his sunglasses and whistled ‘Kashmir’ under his breath.
“We could go for a swim later, if you want?” he said, when they’d been walking for just 5 minutes. There was a lot of beautiful scenery, the woods on their right and fields for miles on the left. They could hear a cuckoo’s call coming from the thicket of the trees.
Sirius gave Remus a furtive glance from behind his glasses but he wasn’t looking at Sirius. He was frowning.
“Mh?” he just said so Sirius knew he had been somewhere else again. Remus was wandering with his thoughts a lot, he’d grown very accustomed to it (and fond, actually).
“I mean, if you still wanna go, we could go later when the others are already in, so no one would see.” Sirius said and as soon as he’d finished, he knew how it sounded. Slight panic came over him when Remus gave him a weird look from behind his own sunglasses.
“‘Cause of the scars, I mean.” Sirius followed that up quickly. He tried not to think about how his breath fell short when Remus looked at him like that. Quizzical and just a little bit disarming.
He was wearing loose-fitted jeans, unlike Sirius, but they looked good on him. All muggle clothes did, in Sirius' humble opinion. He had rolled up the sleeves of the brown plaid he was wearing on his black T-shirt, the white scars across his forearms stretching until they couldn’t be seen - and yet Sirius knew every one of them.
It made him giddy to see that Remus, with just the two of them, would take the opportunity to let them be seen.
“Right. Well, I don’t know if I even can swim. I think I used to, as a kid but later- Can’t remember any trips to lakes.” Remus replied, turning away but now smiling a little.
“I mean, don’t werewolves know how to swim? Maybe it’ll be like instinct.” Sirius asked now, glad that Remus didn’t mention Sirius’ weird way of wording his offer.
“Hmm,” Remus said, thinking. “We’ll have to test that theory. Why haven’t we gone for a swim on any of the full moons? I’m guessing rats and stags can swim just as dogs can.”
Sirius laughed. “Yeah, that’ll be a sight. The four of us swimming across the river Thames.”
Remus snorted at that, too. He raised his hands, fingers running through his hair and Sirius was caught staring.
“So, what’re you cooking?” Remus asked, not noticing Sirius' gaze.
Oh, right. “Umm,” He tried to think, “I think Kreacher once made mashed potatoes with gravy that I didn’t absolutely hate.”
Remus rolled his eyes, even without looking (and he was looking) Sirius could tell that he was. He was always rolling his eyes at Sirius.
“What? That sounds easy enough to do, right? Boil the potatoes and then, um- mash them?” Sirius said, now slightly uncertain.
Remus was trying not to smile, he could tell, so Sirius kept going. “Um, and then- I’m guessing you need water for the gravy - and some seasonings? I have no clue how to work a stove, though. It’d just be better if I’d turn into Padfoot and hunt down a rabbit we could roast on the fire James will surely handle.”
Remus was now laughing and Sirius grinned. He liked that he was able to procure that sound from him.
“Regulus is right,” he said, finally looking at Sirius over his glasses and as they reached the village and a crossroads, he bumped Sirius with his shoulder, “We might starve and freeze to death.”
//
“What the hell is this?”
“That’s an avocado. You’ve never seen a bloody avocado?”
“Not in this form. What the fuck is that?”
“Watch your language. There are other people in the store. And that’s a potato masher, you’ll need that.”
Remus was standing next to him, so close he could feel his breath on the nape of his neck, and surveyed his shopping. Sirius looked over his shoulder to catch Remus’ stern look as he spoke.
Fucking hell. There were shivers that went down Sirius’ neck and spine, the tingling sensation reaching even his fingertips and toes.
“I love it when you’re all bossy and strict. You just know how to push my buttons.” Sirius teased, testing the waters. He did this all the time (and if Remus thought it was a joke then fine, he didn’t need to correct him).
Remus gave him his signature eye roll. “You’re impossible.” He started walking towards the meat aisle.
“I thought that was one of my most redeeming qualities.” Sirius said, rushing after him with the weird small, wooden club in his hands.
He put it in the basket as Remus waited, impatiently. “The list of your redeeming qualities would be as blank as the Marauders map without its password.” he said, dryly.
Sirius gasped, hand going to his heart. “How could you, Moony?”
“You’re a moron.” Remus said, but Sirius could tell he was trying to fight a smile. He followed him to the alcohol next.
“Alright, now we’re talking!” Sirius was overjoyed, picking out a case of beers.
Remus put a stop at the hard liquor after a bottle of vodka and a bottle of tequila. “We’re not trying to be hungover for the rest of the 6 days we’ll be spending here.”
Sirius stuck his tongue out at him.
“Very mature.” Remus said, ushering him towards the cashier.
They paid (or, Remus did) and left with three heavy bags and one case of beer handled by Sirius.
“Fuck,” he said, huffing as he tried to hoist the bag into a better position, “Let’s just use fucking magic, no one is here anyways.”
Remus gave him a stern look. “We said no magic,” he replied but he, too, was struggling with the bags and didn’t sound very convincing.
When they were half-way there, Sirius heard Remus give a small noise. He stopped in the middle of the road.
“What was that?” he asked. He would’ve liked to put his hands on his hips but well.
“What?” Remus asked, trying to move forward but Sirius had put down his bag and beer, stopping Remus with a hand on his chest.
“You made a noise.”
“There was no noise.”
“You winced.”
“You’re delusional, Black.”
“Moony, don’t fucking lie to me.”
They did the staring contest thing for a while before Remus caved, looking up towards the sky like he was praying for someone to come save him.
“Fine, it’s the hip again.” he mumbled.
Sirius Wingardium Leviosa’d all of their shit with the want he pulled from his hair and levitated them in front of them for the rest of the way, ignoring all of Remus’ protests.
//
Sirius had almost broken yet another piece of kitchenware (he tripped on a potato peel on the ground and the clay pot he was holding almost met its grizzly end), when he was joined by Lily, after Remus had caught Sirius before the impending faceplant by grabbing the front of his shirt and yanking him upwards with surprising strength.
He was still daydreaming about Remus’ hands and his breath on his face when he stood that close when Lily smacked him upside the head with a wooden spoon.
“Black! Pay attention, I’m not about to do this for you.”
Yes, he had to make dinner from scratch, but that didn’t mean Lily couldn’t help with the recipe. Everything else was his doing.
It took a few tries for him to turn the stovetop on, since he’d never had to light a gas stove before (or ever had to turn on any kitchen machine, ever) but eventually the blue flames appeared. It was very exciting.
After Lily had warned him not to set his hair on fire, Sirius went about boiling the potatoes.
“What’s the point of peeling them if the skin gets soft anyways and I’m gonna mash them?” he complained when Lily guided him to the waste bin to peel the vegetables first.
“Because.” Lily just said, smiling and handing Sirius a small knife. He started using it and found that he took most of the potatoes along with the skin so he was left with only half.
“This is a disaster,” he complained.
Lily waved another device towards him. It was a metal thingy, sort of round and some sharp metal edges on one end. “See, your hand goes through this hoop and you slide it against the potato, it’ll peel it just the right amount.”
Sirius stared at the thing and then at Lily. “What the fuck,” he said, taking it and sliding it along the potato. Nothing happened, except that he almost cut himself.
“At least you’re doing better than James. He hasn’t even seen a spark and it’s been 30 minutes.” Marlene called from the couch. She and Mary were playing chess (there was a set in the cupboard next to the fireplace, a few pieces missing so they found bits and pieces around the cabin, like a rogue dice and a paperclip, to replace them) while James struggled with the fireplace.
Dorcas and Peter were observing, giving their priceless advice such as “I think the logs are supposed to be in a cube-like shape.” from Dorcas, as James leaned over the fireplace, matches in hand.
“Aren’t you supposed to use dried branches to get it going?” Peter added.
Regulus, who was leaning against the fireplace and looming over James, gave an audible snort.
“You do it if you two are so clever then.” James said, aghast. “And aren’t you supposed to be chopping wood or something?” he snapped to Regulus, who gave him a very blank look.
“Sweetheart, you need some newspapers to start the flame. There,” Mary instructed, pointing to the small basket full of old and wrinkly paper.
“Here,” Sirius startled when Remus was suddenly next to him, hands going on top of his.
He almost didn’t breathe when Remus’ fingers moved, showing Sirius how to hold the ‘vegetable peeler’, as Lily called it. Remus’ scars winded beautifully from the knuckles to his wrists.
When Remus stepped back, Sirius was still immobile. “Got it?” Remus asked and Sirius snapped up, seeing the bastard smile smugly.
Prick.
“Stop interfering with my masterpiece.” he replied swiftly, turning so Remus couldn’t see the faint blush he was probably sporting.
After Sirius had almost started a fire with the stove, James was no closer to doing so in the fireplace.
Finally, Mary and Remus did that while Lily stood by, letting Sirius keep to his work. He was determined to finish his task on the first day.
James’ task, failed magnificently, would have to wait another day. He was brooding on the sofa when Sirius announced that dinner was ready.
There was a small kitchen table, but since there were 9 of them, they all agreed to eat in front of the crackling fireplace.
“This doesn’t look like it’s edible.” Peter commented from one of the armchairs, taking a spoonful of mashed potatoes with pork and gravy, letting it flop down with an unflattering ‘blop’.
“Looks isn’t everything. Just look at Sirius.” James said.
Sirius flung a pea at him. “Wanker.”
“Boys, no playing with food.” Lily insisted.
“Yes, mom.” James replied and the redhead rolled her eyes but smiled goodnaturedly.
There was 10 minutes of silence and then-
“This is delicious.” Dorcas was the first to speak. She sounded so surprised, Sirius was offended.
“Well, what did you think? That I only have my good-looks and an enormous-”
“Sirius!” Lily covered her ears.
“-I was gonna say brain, you dirty-minded freak.” Sirius finished, smug as ever. Mary laughed. “I have other skills you couldn’t even dream of.”
“Those to do with your big brain?” Remus asked, smirking.
“No,” he replied, dead-serious. “They’re to do with my dick, obviously.”
They all laughed so hard, Peter got a piece of carrot stuck up his nose and spent 5 minutes trying to get it out.
After they’d eaten, Remus surprised everyone by bringing out a portable radio and a bunch of music cassettes. Mary and Lily had contributed and together, they had a sizable collection.
They fell into quiet conversations besides the fireplace to the tunes of Van Morrison. Everyone felt slightly sleepy due to the food.
Dorcas was letting Mary braid her hair, with Mary sitting at Marlene’s feet who was curled up on the armchair, chatting to Lily who was sitting in the armchair opposite to her. Peter was lounging on the carpet on his stomach, moving the chess pieces by himself since no one fancied losing to him again.
James was arguing with Regulus on the sofa but Sirius barely paid attention to it - it was about Regulus trying to drown James in the lake earlier or something. Small things.
Sirius was looking at Remus, who was holding a book he’d brought with him. It was a muggle book, the cover read ‘Animal farm’.
The light played on his face, cosy and dark and mysterious, the scars stark white on his face. He was already looking a bit tanned from the sun they’d gotten while walking to the shops and back. It only made the scars stand out even more and Sirius couldn’t take his eyes away - he was beautiful.
Sirius’ fingers twitched on the sofa next to Remus’ hand.
And I wanna rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
Then magnificently we will float
Into the mystic
He was about to move his hand when Remus raised his eyes from the book. “Can I help you?” he asked, the corner of his mouth twitching, like he was suppressing a smile.
Sirius’ heart pounded from being caught but he played it off. “Yes, actually. I’m in need of a steady hand and a lot of patience.”
“I’m not that easy, Black.” came a very sly comment.
Sirius wanted to lean in and shake him. Make him beg for Sirius to come just that bit closer.
“You’re as bad as Lily. I’m talking about these.” Sirius laughed, waving his hands towards Remus.
Remus observed the faded nail-polish. His mouth went into a hard line. “Why don’t you let one of the girls do it, like usual. I’m busy.” He went back to reading.
“But Moony,” Sirius said now, pleading and he scooted closer so his thigh touched Remus’ and he was pretty sure he heard him take in a sharp breath, “Your hands are the best for the job.”
Remus’ eyes met his when he pinpointed the low tone Sirius was using. He was actually just making a joke but seeing Remus’ gaze, the fire reflected within (was that from the actual reflection of the fireplace or something else entirely?), he swallowed.
“Oi, if you’re about to shag please do it in one of the bedrooms.” Dorcas said from the floor, bored. Her eyes were closed and she was enjoying the brading immensely.
Remus seemed a bit startled and… bashful at that, but he closed his book. “Fine, gimme the bottle.” he mumbled, avoiding everyone’s eyes.
Sirius hopped up, happily.
He settled down next to Remus again, while James showed mercy to Peter and had a match with him, and Lily took the opportunity to sit down next to Regulus. They were whispering quietly, when Remus opened the nail polish.
“Why don’t you ever change the colour? I would’ve thought it’d be anything but this.” Remus asked as he dragged a small, round wooden table next to them so he could put the polish there.
“Dunno. Suits me, I guess. I am a Black, after all.” he said, maybe a bit too glum but Remus stopped stirring the black polish.
“Well, doesn’t mean you can’t try anything else,” he said, carefully.
“What, like pink? Would you like that, Moony?” Sirius asked, using his flirty voice. He pulled up his legs and promptly laid them over Remus’ lap.
“I’m just saying- what are you doing?” Remus sounded a bit panicky, which only made Sirius move closer.
“Getting comfortable.” he replied smoothly, reaching out a hand.
Mary leaned over to the radio to switch to an F.M station. A song just ended and Led Zeppelin’s voice started a new one.
“Stay still, then.” Remus was saying, his hands holding Sirius’ steady.
It was almost unbearable.
Hey lady, you got the love I need
Maybe more than enough
Oh darling, darling, darling
Walk a while with me
Ohh, you've got so much, so much, so much
Remus worked meticulously, making sure he got every little line right and that the whole nail plate was covered, before he moved on to the next one. It was almost 9 p.m. now and behind Remus, Sirius could see the last of sunlight peeking through the woods. The pines and the firs. Shining as best as it still could.
Sirius felt Remus’ fingers hold his own softly, and the gentleness made his heart contract. He tried not to move even though everything, from the smell of parchment and cigarettes to the touch of skin on skin, made him want to curl towards him.
It would be easy, hand sneaking at the back of his neck, touching the hair there. Lips touching lips while still holding a small smile.
“Do you still wanna go?” Remus asked, in a hushed voice so the others (who were all in a conversation so they barely noticed) wouldn’t hear. He was still looking at Sirius’ nails as he painted them.
“Do I wanna go where?” Sirius asked, just as hushed. The fireplace crackled as Remus went to the bottle to get some more polish for the brush.
“Swimming, after. It’s a bit chillier, I mean but-” he looked like he was about to dismiss it so Sirius quickly said something.
“Yeah, of course. I offered, didn’t I?” he asked, smiling wide.
Remus’ eyebrows scrunched together, as if in thought. He nodded to Sirius so he’d switch hands and Sirius held his left to Remus while he waved the right around to dry the nail polish quicker.
“Yeah, why did you?” he asked, suddenly. Still whispering. Barely audible. He really sounded confused.
Sirius frowned. “Whaddya mean? You didn’t want to go in front of the others and I didn’t want you missing out.”
Remus picked at his lower lip. It made Sirius crazy. He was losing his mind, slowly. It was maddening.
“That’s…. Nice.” Remus said, lamely.
Sirius almost gave in and kissed him, right there. He didn’t.
“Moony, stop thinking like I’m doing you favours.” he said, low. Remus' finger was stroking his thumb, the painting forgotten for a moment. Sirius refused to look down, he didn’t know what he’d do if he’d see it. Their fingers intertwined.
“Aren’t you?” Remus asked.
“Ever thought about the fact that maybe I wanna spend more time with just you?” Sirius asked, bravely.
Remus looked up at him, startled. He looked genuinely surprised. “You do?”
Sirius sighed.
Many is a word that only leaves you guessing
Guessing 'bout a thing you really ought to know, oh, oh, oh, oh
“Yup.” Sirius replied, not really knowing what else to say, but he moved their fingers, playing with them. Remus' fingers glided over Sirius’ rings as he thought about it.
Remus exhaled. “Okay,” he said, simply. He went back to painting the rest of his nails and Sirius smiled to himself.
God, he wasn’t going to let this chance go, he swore it. This was the week that was going to change everything.
“Okay, so what’s on the itinerary for tomorrow?” Marlene wanted to know suddenly. Sirius glanced up and saw that she was watching them, with a glint in her eye.
Sirius ignored her.
“Well, we’re gonna go explore the forest a bit. Have a hike and scout for a place to put up tents so we could do that the day after tomorrow.” James replied. He was back on the sofa, squeezed between Regulus and Lily.
They both seemed fine with this arrangement.
“God, don’t tell me you’ll be leading us? We’ll never make it back alive.” Regulus drawled.
“Keep talking, Reg, and you won’t. And it won’t be because of my poor guiding skills.” James threatened sweetly.
Regulus rolled his eyes but there was a smile playing on his lips. Sirius raised a brow at him and instantly, Regulus’ face fell back into the familiar boredom. Sirius filed this information away for later.
His legs were still in Remus’ lap, there was only so much he could think about at the same time.
“Well, if we're going on a hike, I’m going to bed. Girls?” Dorcas said, standing up and extending her hand as if calling everybody to her.
Lily smiled at James and Regulus and stood up too, following Dorcas, Mary and Marlene upstairs.
“That means you, too, Remus!” Mary called over her shoulder.
James laughed.
“Be right there,” Remus said back, smiling too. He looked over at Sirius and raised a brow. “Care to release me?”
“Do I have to?” Sirius asked back.
Remus got a soft smile on his face. He moved Sirius’ legs himself and got up. As James, Regulus and Peter went to their rooms, Remus leaned back down.
“I’d give them an hour or so. Make sure they’re all sleeping properly.”
And he went up the stairs to join the girls.
Sirius felt his cheeks grow hot.
//
Luckily, they were all so knackered from the day (and all the swimming and running around at the lake) that the others fell asleep quite quickly.
Sirius listened to his brother’s breathing even out after just 20 minutes.
He quietly got dressed again and laid on his bed for another 20 minutes, just in case. He stared at the ceiling, listening to his own heart beating like a caged bird.
Don’t fuck this up, Black, he thought to himself.
He creeped out from his room, looking up towards the beds on the second floor but couldn’t make out any movement. He creeped to the front door and clicked it open quietly. With one last look towards the second floor, he slipped out.
From the front porch, he could feel the brisk night air and smell the cigarettes.
He followed the starlight towards a small glow he could make out beside the lake. Remus was sitting on the small bridge there (it looked about to collapse) with a small jar next to him. There was a candle burning in it.
The puff of smoke enveloped his figure for a moment before the breeze carried it away.
“Hi,” Sirius announced his arrival, sitting next to Remus, his legs sprawled out unlike Remus’ who had drawn his knees up to himself.
He wordlessly offered the pack to Sirius and he took one. Remus handed him the matches (“no magic, remember?” he smirked at Sirius) and he lit his, inhaling deeply.
“How’s the water?”
“Dunno, haven’t tested it yet.”
Sirius laughed, taking another drag. The stars blinked in and out of existence. They sat in silence and it was good. It was wonderful.
“Okay, ready?” Sirius asked, putting his cigarette out. Remus did the same and Sirius took off his shirt.
Remus averted his gaze almost comically fast. It made Sirius giddy - they’d seen each other’s bare skin enough times, in the dorm and during the full moon. But this seemed different.
“You go first and if it’s too cold I won’t go.” Remus offered. Sirius made an indignant noise.
“No! You just won’t get in and I’m gonna be stuck in there alone. No way, we go together.” He took off his jeans next and stood there in his boxers, hands on his hips.
Remus seemed determined to stare at his eyes only. Sirius didn’t budge so Remus sighed. “Fine,” he said, removing his shirt, too.
Sirius didn’t have any inclination not to stare, although it would’ve been polite not to. But in the starlight and with the small candle burning, barely illuminating anything, Remus seemed more out of this world than he had ever before.
Remus clenched his teeth, Sirius could see it from the way his jaw worked. A sign of distress.
He took a step towards him and Remus froze when Sirius raised his hand, slowly. He touched Remus’ jaw softly. “Don’t do that. Stop worrying.”
And Remus unclenched his jaw.
“On three?” He asked, finally looking away when Remus took off his trousers (Sirius couldn’t - if he’d look he’d probably combust).
“Yeah, okay.” came the reply.
Sirius thought about holding his hand but he thought that might be too much right now. So he just crouched down a bit, getting into a starting position and smiled at Remus.
He got a blinding smile back.
“1, 2, 3… go!”
It was so obvious that Remus planned it but Sirius still jumped, even if he had expected Remus not to. He didn’t mind. Remus’ laughter echoed across the lake as Sirius’ head came up, gasping for air.
“You prick!” he shouted, but he sounded giddy.
“How’s the water?” Remus asked, standing on the bridge casually. His lanky figure was slightly slumped - he was trying to fix his posture, getting used to the fact that he’d grown so tall.
“Oh, yeah, marvellous.” Sirius said through the chatter of his teeth.
Remus laughed. “Get out, before you catch a cold.”
“You get in.”
“No.”
“Yes,” Sirius said, sounding like a petulant child.
Remus rolled his eyes.
“It gets better after.” Sirius tried again, pleading.
Remus seemed to mull it over. “Oh, fuck it then.” he said and jumped.
Sirius gave a joyful whoop. When Remus came up for air, he was smiling.
“Well, werewolves can definitely float.” he said, jaw clenched again, this time from the cold.
“Oh, shit! We shouldn’t have jumped-” Sirius suddenly realised.
Remus waved a hand - he looked like he could at least keep himself above the water quite well. “It’s fine. I’m not dead, am I?”
“Dumbass. Let’s get closer to the shore anyways.”
They swam or more like floated towards the shore so their feet could touch the bottom. It was slippery and their feet slid on the rocks.
Sirius stared at Remus’ hair, the way water trickled down from them, chasing the white lines on his face. His eyes were shining in the dark - Sirius remembered how well he could see in it. He hoped he didn’t have a lovestruck expression on his face. He certainly felt like it.
He came a bit closer to see Remus better.
“Worth it?” he asked, hopeful.
Remus nodded. “Definitely. Thanks.”
Sirius smiled, floating opposite to him. He looked at Remus’ collarbone. He wanted to put his lips to it.
“Padfoot?”
“Hm?” Sirius shook out of his daze, eyes raising to meet Remus’. He was giving him a smile - a secretive one.
Huh.
“You’re a good cook.” Remus said.
Sirius snorted. “I made one meal, Moony. Hardly chef material.”
“Still, you did good.” Remus insisted.
Sirius felt bashful, all of a sudden, so he looked up towards the sky. He waved his hand towards it. “Alright, genius. So where’s Orion?”
Remus looked up, too. “I’m not the one who’s great at astronomy.”
“Better than me.” Sirius replied.
Remus huffed a laugh. “Well, that’s the Ursa Major…”
“The what?”
“You know, it has the Big Dipper, you idiot. I think that’s Alpha Persei…”
Sirius watched in awe as Remus rattled away constellations he himself could barely remember.
“Don’t think Orion can be seen right now, though. It’s not always visible with the naked eye, at least not during the summer.” He was saying and Sirius blinked.
“Ah, well. Lucky for you, that star is right here to look at.” Sirius pointed at himself, pleased.
Remus laughed. His head fell back and it was so genuine. Sirius wanted to tell him how wonderful he found it - the sound, the way his neck bent when he did that. How it seemed to come from deep within him.
“Whatever you say, Padfoot.” Remus said once he’d regained control of his breathing. The water lapped around him as he moved and Sirius was so close now that their bodies almost touched.
“Is yours anywhere near mine?” Sirius asked next.
Remus looked towards him, a guarded look. “No, I don’t think so. I think they might be quite far from each other, actually.”
Sirius came one more step closer. He could put his hands around Remus, if he wanted to.
He wanted to.
“It’s good that we’re not actually stars, then.” Sirius decided, making Remus laugh again.
Sirius reached out under the water and touched his waist. Remus stopped laughing, suddenly. He looked at Sirius with wide eyes.
“I couldn't bear to be any further from you.” Sirius whispered. He pulled, gently, and Remus leaned in.
He rested their foreheads together. And they stayed like that for a little while.
“Me neither.” Remus said, Sirius barely caught it over their breaths.
Remus raised his head and Sirius stared at him. He knew how he must look - like he couldn’t get enough. Just as he’d decided that it’s now or never, Remus shivered.
“If we don’t want to spend the rest of the week running a fever, we’d better get back.”
“Oh, right.” Sirius said, feeling stupid.
But when they got out and changed back, slightly shivering, Remus bumped Sirius’ shoulder slightly and hooked his pinky with his.
“Thank you.” Remus said quietly.
Sirius’ heart soared to heights unimaginable.
Instead of replying, Sirius smiled at him before they went in and squeezed his hand, before letting go.
He had time, still. To say everything.