A Letter To Home
Dear Mother & Father,
First things first, the meeting with Yuko did NOT go well. What was I supposed to think when a woman I'd been writing for eight years is talking about what kind of house she wants to live in and what kind of guy she's looking to marry? It turns out that she regards gaijin as an inferior species, NOT suitable for introducing to one's parents.
I took it pretty hard, her rejection still ringing in my ears, and I rejoined the anime club on the second day of their tour.
Get the family together and watch the videotape that I've enclosed.
Done? Good. I found one of the Japanese television stations doing English news for travelers and contacted them for that videotape. Now you remember that scene showing the anime store in Nerima?
Well, yeah. That's me. That is why my one week trip to Japan is currently in its third week. No, it isn't a hoax. The woman you see at the end of the tape, the one who says "Hello Mom, Dad, Brother. I miss you" is actually your former son. Hope you don't mind having a daughter, it was kind of a surprise to me too.
I mean, really, there I was standing outside an anime store in Japan, waiting for the doors to open so I could practice my fragmentary Japanese and try to pick up a copy of the new NukuNuku laserdisc, and some little hentai creep splashes me with some water.
I gotta tell you, just the memory of that creeps me out worse than living with the effects. It didn't HURT, but your skin feels like you're taking a bath in something carbonated, and you feel your skin and bones and flesh moving. Dan used the phrase "reconfiguring" - you can tell he's an engineer, has to put everything in techie terms.
So I find myself looking like you see in that video. It could be worse, trust me. Three of the others now want to take up housekeeping as a vocation, that weird guy, Sean, is wearing a Sailor Moon fuku and running around making speeches about how "In The Name Of The Moon, I Want A Large Fries With That."
The curse is related to the water, and is permanent for most people. Some of the later people didn't get hit with the permanent aspect, or that aspect wore off after two weeks. Now cold water turns these last into their housewife persona, hot water returns relative normalcy. I don't seem to be that fortunate.
According to Nabiki, this major mercenary out here who's selling her sister's cookies (her own cookies aren't edible), says that there was more than one kind of water used. One curses you with the "Housewife" attitude, then there's this water dealing with someone from a place called "Niichieju." (I think that's it. My Japanese is a LOT better but still ain't that great.)
As I understand it, these are some hidden village of Chinese "Amazons" that may have some relation to the Greek variety. I know that my enthusiasm for the martial arts has increased dramatically, and I'm getting lessons nightly after my job at Ucchan's (sort of a Japanese pizza parlor.) It doesn't pay that well, but it pays enough to cover expenses.
I don't know when I'll be back. Some of us want to stick around for a cure, but apparently some people have had these water curses for quite some time, and those of us who are "locked" can't even use the one cure that is supposed to work- some "Spring Of Drowned Man" over in China. Right now there's a major problem caused by the fact that I don't look a bit like my passport photo, I only have two sets of clothes that fit the new body, and even when I do get back, what then? I mean all my records, my driver's license, everything is for a guy who doesn't really look that close to me.
On the plus side, I look thinner now but I'm a helluva lot stronger. I figure I can bench 200# now, got really good endurance, and I'm almost a foot taller. Yup, gone from being the shortest kid on the block at 5'3" to 6'2". Also got really long hair. I understand from some local Elder of this Amazon Village, that long hair is a sign of honor- that shaving one's head indicates a loss of honor or status within the tribe. I dunno, I kind of like it despite it being hot as all get out here, and humid too.
Some other aspects I'm really having trouble with, but I won't burden you with that. The upshot is that there are apparently mental/attitudinal effects. The really good news is that this stuff apparently cures all sorts of problems. I've never been healthier, and the martial arts sensei says I show promise.
There's also a chance I can be accepted as a provisional member of this Amazon Village place, which means that even if I can't find a cure, I'll be able to find a home.
Later,
Richard M. Straczynski
PS: My fingerprints apparently remain the same. I assume retinal patterns are likewise unchanged. I don't know how much this will help, though. Unless I find a cure and soon, assume that I'm going to have to manufacture a new identity. Will call later.
PPS: According to that Elder, I need a name to be called if I'm inducted into the Amazons. I'm thinking of going with Nayami, one of the many words for trouble. Maybe just Ri Ku.