Liability

Tony and Bucky

(Just after Steve left)

Tony dropped his outstretched hand and sagged against Bucky, who tightened his arms around him.

“We fucked up,” Bucky whispered.

“Yeah, we did.”

“Did you see how he looked at us?”

“Or avoided.”

Bucky hummed and kissed the crown of Tony’s head.

“It was for his own good, right?” Tony suddenly asked. He raised his head and peered at Bucky, who was still staring at the door.

“We are no good, Tony. Together we form a somewhat stable and sane unit but Steve…”

“Steve deserves something whole,” Tony finished. He unclenched his fingers around the corner of the table and grabbed Bucky’s metal hand to play with.

“Yep. Have you seen Steve? He is like this unstoppable force...” Bucky cleared his throat, feeling a bit too emotional. “I don’t even want to think about his soulmate. Someone who’ll be able to complete and compete with him, stand their ground and not bend when he starts being a reckless punk…do you think we’d be able to compete against them?”

Tony sighed. “No. But maybe we can have him for just now. At least for now…and since we are already together, when he’ll break up with us, we’ll have each other, right?”

Bucky’s eyebrows were furrowed. Tony resisted the pulsion to smooth the wrinkle.

“Right,” Bucky conceded slowly.

“You can say no if you want.” Before Bucky could answer, Tony raised his hand. “I want you to be 100% sure because otherwise it wouldn’t be worth it. I don’t want to lose both of you for selfish reasons. I can live all my life without Steve but if I have to lose, you, my soulmate, I’d never survive that.”

Bucky stared speechless into Tony’s teary eyes. He took a shuddery breath and nodded firmly.

“Ok. Let’s do it, love,” he whispered before capturing Tony’s plump lips in a ravaging kiss.

Tony wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him closer. They were lost in their embrace when DUM-E, bumped into them, making them wobble.

“DUM-E?!” Tony exclaimed, heart racing. If it wasn’t for Bucky’s support, he’d be on the floor.

The robot kept chirping and rolling around them. Bucky steadied Tony and stopped DUM-E.

“Okay, DUM-E, you have all of our attention. What’s wrong?” Bucky said, half-concerned half-joking.

The robot grabbed Bucky’s metal hand and lead him to the door. Bucky glanced behind and mouthed. ‘What is wrong with you DUM-E?’ to which Tony shrugged, as lost as he was.

DUM-E suddenly came to a halt. Bucky looked around before being forced to look down. Blood. He kneeled and touched it. It was still warm. To appease his doubts, he asked Tony about it.

“Did you hurt yourself?”

“What? No,” Tony reassured him, as he walked closer.

“Are you sure?” Bucky asked, with an underlying tension. He prayed silently for Tony’s answer to be yes, because it’d be better than the other alternative. The only person who stood just there was Steve. And Bucky didn’t want to think about this possibility.

“Yes, I’m…” Tony stopped talking behind Bucky.

Bucky rose to is feet slowly, fingers glistening from Steve’s blood.

“Bucky…” Tony whined pitifully. “Please…tell me it’s not his.”

Bucky clenched his fingers.

“Baby girl, Fri, please tell me where Steve is,” Tony urged he AI.

“I’m sorry, Boss, but Captain Rogers is already gone.”

Already gone? The AI tone was…weird.

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked. His voice came out stronger than he’d thought.

“Captain Rogers has left the Tower, 37 minutes ago.”

There again with the weird tone. The AI sounded…reproachful. Against them?

“Do you know where he is?”

“Maybe his morning run?” Tony guessed, but even he wasn’t believing it.

Bucky stared into Tony’s eyes. He tried to convey his doubts and fears without using words. If Bucky dared voiced them, it’d become true. And there was nothing on Earth or in the Universes that he’d fear.

Tony went through a lot of different emotions, from hope, denial to acceptance.

“Fri, where is Steve?”

“Steve went to the headquarter of SHIELD.”

They both looked at each other with astonishment.

“Why?”

Silence.

“Why Fri?” Tony asked again.

“Sorry Boss, I thought it was rhetorical considering the situation. Captain Rogers had warned you he’d leave you alone. Therefore, he packed all of his belongings and went to the SHIELD HQ.”

They both stood there, not really realizing what was happening. Bucky tried…his brain wouldn’t register what Friday said.

“He did what?” Tony yelled. His face went pale, then green to finally settle on a greyish tone. Bucky has never seen Tony so worked up. He ran in the room, grabbing various electronical items and yelled questions at Friday. Had Friday talked to Steve prior to his departure? Had he left anything behind? Did the trackers were still on? Did Steve was aware he had a tracker? Did he take the shield? The motorcycle?

Tony, then, asked for the recording of the previous night.

First obstacle. Friday’s code specifically stated that any recordings shouldn’t be viewed by anyone, unless the person was in danger. Tony argued, tried his override code and whatnot but still Friday wouldn’t give in.

“He bled.” Bucky stated to none in particularly.

“What?” Tony whirled around, his face still flush from anger.

“He bled.” Bucky repeated, numb, as he rubbed the remains of Steve’s blood on his fingers. “Friday, please…” he begged. “We don’t ask you a total breach of confidentiality, but Steve is hurt. And you know him. You can run the numbers and you’ll see that Steve, even on the brink of death, will never tell anyone. So please…”

There were a few seconds of complete silence. Tony was still looking at him with something akin to understanding and sorrow.

“I will forward some images that I -” Friday stopped talking. This simple action was supposed to be impossible to AI’s. It was as if Friday was looking for the perfect word. Her, an AI, which has access to an infinity of words. She was also at loss. “- found worrisome.”

Before one of them spoke, images from last night appeared. From the elevator.

“Did something happen in the elevator?” Tony asked Bucky, confused.

He shook his head. Tony huffed and turned back to the screen.

Bucky started fidgeting when he saw Steve’s face after he backed away from his touch. The cerulean eyes grew darker before losing their focus. Now Bucky was watching the scene he noticed things he hadn’t. Like how Steve’s face went from surprise, heartbreak and settled on a fake smile. And that was what hurt the most. Bucky may not have all the memories from before but there was one thing that stayed stuck in his mind. The smile Steve gave him just after his mom died.

Steve had been the one finding the body lifeless body of his ma on the floor. He had been the one calling for an ambulance and the one taking care of everything before Bucky found out. It hadn’t been Steve who told him first. Bucky learnt the news through some old lady neighbor as he was coming to the apartment to pick up Steve for the double date Bucky got them. He remembered feeling a deep anguish ad astonishment at the news, or maybe it had been incredibility. It had taken the old lady a few times to get the message across, because Bucky would hear the words, understand them but not register them.

Earlier that day he’d seen Steve’s waving at him when he was leaving their house. Steve’s ma had prepared his lunch – he stopped trying to dissuade her from feeding him. She was a strong and stubborn woman like their Stevie - and Bucky went to work, feeling happy and at peace for once in a long time. Sure, they were piss poor but at least they were healthy – even Stevie despite his ailments. 

So why? Why now?

He remembered running to the hospital barely dodging the cars and bikes. He had arrived way too late though. For a long time, his only regret would be to not have been present for Steve. When he’d finally arrived at the hospital, Steve was already out. He had been looking around, seemingly looking for someone. As his eyes fell on Bucky, his face had broken into this smile.

No traces of tears.

No blotched face, snot or any kind of wetness on his face.

No slouching shoulders.

No trembling.

Steve had stood back straight, head high with a smile that revealed nothing. His expressive eyes were for once blank. For a stranger, Steve may have been happy or politely shy in the way he was smiling, but for Bucky…

“Stevie…” he muttered, as sorrow gripped his heart.

“What?” Tony asked definitely worried. He stopped the video and cupped Bucky’s face. “What is it?”

“I hurt Steve. I shouldn’t have flinched.”

“Why did you?” Tony caressed his cheekbones. Bucky knew it didn’t make any sense. There was no reason for Bucky to react that way. He swallowed he guilt and averted his eyes.

“I was still jittery from the fight.”

Tony raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. Bucky sighed and closed his eyes.

“I know me. If he’d pat my back, I would have hugged him and…at the end I’d chicken out for our big talk. So, I backed off. But I didn’t know he’d react that way. I didn’t even notice.”

Tony wave at the screen and recording started. Tony turned his gaze to the screen but not before kissing the tip of Bucky’s nose, who let out a long-relieved breath. He knew it was this fault and he appreciated that Tony didn’t outright accuse him. If Bucky had been more open in the elevator maybe they wouldn’t be there.

They watched as Steve got to his balcony and looked at the sky.

“Is there anything else Fri?” Tony asked, curious.

Before the AI could answer, Steve was laying on the wooden floor eyes still on the sky. He laid there for barely a couple of minutes before laying on his side in a fetal position. His large frame trembled as tears sprung out his eyes.

Tony back a few steps, colliding against Bucky’s chest. Unconsciously the taller man wrapped his arms around the Tony.

“Bucky, please…” Tony pleaded. His voice seemed far away. He wasn’t even sure that Tony had talked.

“Fri…” He was about to ask her to pause the video when Steve screams drown his attempt. Both men flinched.

“Fri, pause,” Tony suddenly yelled.

The video kept on playing and Friday’s lack of response spoke louder.

Bucky let go of Tony as an unknown pain starting from his lung and travelling to his head blossomed. Each breath, each move flared the pain. Eyes tearing and his head echoing Steve’s torturous yells it didn’t take long for Bucky to fall on the floor, unable to breath properly.

Tony, who had been trying to stop the video first orally then manually, rushed to Bucky’s side. He pushed Bucky to sit upright and tried to help him breath. Tony soon stopped talking when he noticed that Bucky was unresponsive. He watched in despair as Bucky tried to remain conscious.

It didn’t take long for his panic attack to stop; all it took was not hearing Steve. The sudden silence left him overwhelmed and raw. His own breathing was entirely too loud and too wrong. He shouldn’t have been like that…he shouldn’t have been affected that much.

“Fuck,” he let out.

“Are you…better?” Tony asked with a tiny voice. He reminded him of a small scared child; his big brown eyes were red because of unshed tears and he was trembling, pale and disheveled.

Bucky didn’t try to speak, not sure that he’d be able to use his voice. He took a deep shuddery breath and then nodded. Although both of them knew it was a lie.

“You scared the shit out of me,” Tony whispered, head down.

Bucky grabbed slowly his hand. He knew Tony would be avoiding talking about the elephants in the room, so he did. “We really fucked up, Doll. All the way…I have never seen Steve broken down like that. Not after his dad died at war, or when he found his mother’s dead body. Steve has never…” His voice trailed off as painful memories from the war struck him. They’d seen people dying, being tortured and yet Steve had remained so strong…until now.

Tony brought Bucky’s hand to his lips. “We will talk to him and everything will be okay. We’ll tell him everything. How we made a mistake and how we want him. Truly want him, and he’ll never cry because of us ever again.” His brown eyes, full of hope peered straight into Bucky’s.

Bucky gave an uncertain nod. He wasn’t so sure. The way Steve had departed as if it was the end. But of what, Bucky wasn’t certain. And that was what scared him the most. The sole thought that they may have pushed over the edge made his entire stomach churn and the telltale of a new panic attack loomed over him.

“Hey, hey, breath.” Tony pushed a few strands away from his face. “What is going on in this big head of yours?”

Bucky had a choice. As he eyes Tony’s face, he felt his reserve dissolved. Could he really tell his doubts to Tony? Was that really worth it?

“Tell me,” Tony said firmly.

“I think Steve is going to do something stupid.”

Bucky had expected denial, maybe astonishment and a few screams but not the lack of response, nor the guilty look.

“You too?” Bucky asked voice still raspy. “You too you noticed.”

Tony sat next to Bucky hand still intertwined with each other.

“I’ve known Steve for a few years. A few years watching him when he didn’t know, so yeah. I had a little suspicion and now with the recording…”

They both stayed silent for a couple of seconds. Enough for Fri play the rest of the vide.

“Fri…” Tony warned, upset. “We’ve seen enough.”

The AI never responded. They watched as Steve stood up and went to the bathroom. He started taking his uniform.

“Friday? You said you didn’t want us to breach into Steve’s privacy and now you’re going to show him showering?”

The AI stayed silent. Steve took off his pants first and they both wanted to look away, but their eyes stayed glued on the screen. Steve long and athletic legs attracted their full attention, and his bubble butt.

“Truly this suit doesn’t give him any justice,” Tony commented, half-sad half-aroused.

“Yeah.” Was Bucky only replied. He was having a whiplash between the change of emotions. From anguish, terror, to horny.

“I’m going to make a tighter one…”

Bucky snorted. “He’d distract both the villains and us, Doll. I think we should keep this weapon secret.”

“Maybe you’re right. After all –.”

Both froze.

As the top of the uniform fell on the floor, a familiar tattoo appeared.

Their soulmark.

“It’s not possible,” Bucky whispered.

“It’s not true,” Tony added, before jumping to his feet. “Friday, are you messing with us?!” He screamed, upset.

“No, Sir, I have analyzed and compared all of your marks and there is a 100% match.”

It was maybe Tony or Bucky or both who took a big breath. Bucky rose to his feet slowly. He examined his hands. Was that a dream? He raised his head and looked dumbly at Tony who was still screaming at Friday.

When he noticed that Bucky was on his feet he ran to his sides.

“Bucky, tell me it’s fake.”

Bucky shrugged not trusting his voice. There was a hint of hysteria in Tony’s voice. Somewhere deep down he knew he should be concerned by it and he should try to be more helpful, but he couldn’t.

Steve was their soulmate.

“Bucky! Focus! Please…”

“I don’t know, Doll. I don’t know…” he said shaking his head.

“You know him since before the war. You should have seen it, right?”

There again for the false hope in his voice. Bucky shrugged. His memories were hazy, and he still wasn’t sure what was pure fantasy or reality. Although he had been able to separate the most fantasies like when they used to lay next to each other, and he’d caress the bare hipbone of Steve as he slept. Or maybe was that true. The soft kisses when no one saw them, the mutual jerk off, the light touches…Everything had seemed so real. He could feel the phantom weight of Steve artist fingers caressing his chest and traveling to his groin, cupping it firmly.

Bucky shook his head. “I don’t have all my memories, Doll. I don’t remember. I didn’t even remember having one myself until you showed it to me.”

“A tattoo, then!”

“Tony…”

Tony must have noticed something in his voice because he let go of him and backed a few steps. His face grew sadder.

“So, it’s true. He is our soulmate.”

Bucky nodded, expecting the outcome. Tony took a sharp breath through his nose. Bucky could tell he was trying to process it all. The wrinkles between his eyebrows were back.

“Why didn’t he tell us, then? I’m sure he knew about ours why…” Tony grabbed a tablet laying on his workshop and threw it on the wall. “Why! Why! Oh my god…he was ours and we said…” Tony threw the rest of his tools on the floor. Bucky let him do, still numb. ‘He was ours’. ‘Was’ not ‘is’, because Steve told them he’d leave. Because Steve loved them even before he knew they had his marks and they pushed him away.

It was unfair. Steve should have told them, he should have revealed the truth and they’d be together. They…how could have they known he was theirs and they…and they…

“We love you for sure, but not like we love each other.”

Bucky gripped his head hard.

“Someone who’ll truly love you, because like I said, the love for a soulmate is really more..”

He fell on his knees.

“So, how can you love me if you have you’re each other soulmate?”

Bucky screamed as pain blossomed in his back, where the mark was. He gritted his teeth and felt the coper of his blood fill his mouth. He arched his back and let out a howl. The pain travelled through each of his nerve and he prayed…he begged for it to stop.

Somewhere lost in the pain, his thoughts when straight to Steve.

‘Was that what you suffered?’ He thought before letting go.

His body kept seizing under the torturous agony, while his mind was digging out every memory, every moment with Steve, every smile, every touch and promise, only to further the torture.

As everything turned to an ominous darkness, Bucky mourned their lost lover.