Liability

5 YEARS LATER

Since Steve’s departure a lot changed. Sam became the new Captain America despite Tony’s stubbornness in not letting the shield go nor the suit he had created and perfectioned for Steve. Rhodey and Peter became Avengers, Tony became more a consultant than a fighter. He’d still go on fights but less than before. It seemed that after Steve was gone his pleasure for avenging disappeared too. He still loved flying with the suits but every time they were out for a fight, he’d expect Steve to call him out on his chatter or recklessness. After a particularly violent fight against a witch, and a complete rash decision which lead to his hospitalization, Tony decided to stop avenging.

There was a void in his chest that would never be fully filled no matter what he did.

Bucky followed his suit. While Tony was hurting in New-York, he left for a full year, following crumbs. Fury hadn’t really helped them and never really disclosed the information on Steve’s locations even though the were sure he knew about it.

After a year, Bucky came back raw. He had lost weight during his research and was now back to being lethargic. He only woke up if anyone woke him up. He only ate when someone gave him food and spoke when being spoken.

Their relationship had taken a blow. They weren’t even sure how they’d somewhat maintain a semblance of relationship. As if continuing would be a mockery because they’d never be complete ever again and it was their fault.

How ironic…Tony had said that they could survive without Steve but not without each other. Guess he was wrong. It didn’t feel like living at all. They were still surviving to this day. They were just getting better at hiding their true despair to their friends.

During the fifth year post-Steve, they found themselves in a peculiar predicament. Tony, for once, had suited up and participated to a fight. They’d been fighting on the West Coast against robots. A normal Tuesday for them.

At a certain point, they were all scattered around. Fast. Tony hadn’t had the time to ask Sam for the next orders and he scooped Bucky and flew away.

He remembered a bombing. The fire in his back despite his suit and he was sent tumbling in the sky with his lover still in his arms.

It was a miracle that he landed safely in the middle of nowhere.

So here there were, after a few minutes? Hours? walking around in the middle of a forest.

“Fucking hell!” Tony cursed as the rest of his suit fell off.

“Language,” Bucky muttered out of habit. It had become a way to remember Steve, whose mouth may have been cleaner in the 21^st century but it hadn’t always been the case.

Tony flipped him off and threw his gantlet away. “I know I shouldn’t have come. I knew it!”

Bucky slowed down and grabbed the gauntlet in one of the bushes around. He knew Tony would feel guilty once he came down from his little rage trip.

“I know, and yet you came. So, shut up or –.”

Bucky tilted his head. He heard something. A loud tweet erupted from a tree nearby and Bucky relaxed.

“Or what? You’ll make me?” Tony retorted, mischievous.

“Horny much? In the middle of nowhere?”

“Not the worst place we had –.”

This time Tony stopped talking and frowned. They both exchanged a look and on a count to three they drew their weapons in the direction of the noise.

“Get out right now!” Bucky ordered loudly.

There was a beat of silence.

Tony rolled his eyes and shoot next to where the person could be. They saw the shadow jump out of their hiding place, roll on the grass and stand up.

“You are naked!” Tony exclaimed, shocked.

The man’s head snapped up and they all stared at each other.

The hunk of a man was Steve. Fucking. Rogers.

Bucky pressed the trigger. The bullet flew next to Steve’s head, who didn’t even flinch.

“Bucky!” Tony screamed shocked. “What the fuck!”

He shrugged seemingly nonchalant. Meanwhile inside his heart was going off.

“You shot at him and I can’t?” He retorted with a forced smile.

Tony hit his shoulder with his other gauntlet.

“I didn’t know it was Steve! I would have never…” Bucky looked at him unimpressed and Tony backtracked. “Well, maybe you are right; I would have probably slapped him and –.”

Tony turned his head toward Steve. “- he’s gone.”

Bucky’s smile fell when he finally noticed Steve’s departure. He scanned their surrounding quickly. There were no one and no way Steve could have disappeared without attracting their attention.

“Don’t tell me it was a dream.” He whispered, unconsciously.

“We couldn’t have imagined that, right? Unless you usually dream of a naked, hairy, bearded and scarred Steve.”

“Did you?”

“What?” Tony asked, lost.

“Did you ever dream of a “naked, hairy, bearded and scarred Steve”?”

Tony rolled his eyes and smacked his shoulder. “Nope. I didn’t even know he could grow a beard. You both told me it was impossible.”

“That’s what he used to tell me. Even as a skinny lad he never could grow a beard and with the serum, he convinced anyone that the serum took care of it all.”

Tony’s eyebrows were furrowed, and he was biting his lower lips. Bucky leaned toward him and pried his lips away with his teeth. He sucked on his lower lips and deepen their kiss. Tony sagged in his embrace and reciprocated as much as he could.

Someone cleared their throat.

They both jumped apart, weapon raised.

The man from earlier who looked just like Steve was back. Fully clothed. The more they looked at him and less they believed it could be Steve. The man wore well fitted jeans, combat boots and also a well-fitted shirt. He had an earring and a piercing on his lips. So not Steve. But then, they hadn’t seen him for five years.

“Who are you?” Bucky asked.

The man, instead of answering verbally, signed. Slow moves.

S-T-E-V-E.

“Why doesn’t he speak?” Tony asked Bucky, eyes still on “Steve”.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Bucky muttered.

“Why don’t you speak?” Tony screamed, ignoring the way Bucky groaned.

The man’s eyes grew sadder. He brought his hand to the half of his face which was scarred. A mangled of deep scars starting from the temple as the epicenter. As if something had hit his head and exploded. His hand went lower to his neck and he tilted his head backward revealing a deep scar all over his throat. It wasn’t as deep as the scars on his face but it brough chills to both men.

They knew what kind of material would do that and they also knew what happened. Someone had strangled him with a metal wire, enough for his vocal cords to be crashed.

“What happened?” Bucky asked, still not convinced. They had looked for him for five years. Five years of stress, arguments, and many failures. So why now? Why would the Universe or God grant them this only wish. And was that really a blessing? If the man was really Steve, he looked like he’s been through hell. Bucky imagined him choking almost to death as someone was strangling him, eyes getting glassier by the minute and heart filled with pure desperation, or lack of. Because he had been ready to die. Alone. Lonely.

Tony brought his hand gantlet up when the man began to undo his shirts. Now, half naked he turned around.

Their soulmark was marred by scars but it was theirs.

Before they could stop themselves, they took off to get closer to Steve. He didn’t flinch nor tensed as he heard them getting closer.

Bucky’s heart was filled with need and want. He feared once close to Steve that he’d disappear in a pop of smoke. Like in all of his dreams. So, he was surprised when his human hand came in contact with Steve’s warm back. Bucky stood still, transfixed by the vision and the feeling under his palm. Steve’s heart was beating fast and hard under his hand, or was that his own heart?

“Steve,” Bucky whined. He wrapped his other hand around his waist and brought his nose to his neck, inhaling the earthly scent off his skin.

Tony has been bolder. He’s come in front of Steve and hugged him. Steve unable to contain himself, sagged in their embrace and laid his chin on top of Tony’s head.

Bucky wanted to pretend that this was it, their happy ending.

Steve…their lover, and God, calling Steve their “lover” still made him blush after all these years. Steve wasn’t like before. He never fully recovered from his time alone. Sometimes he’d look outside for hours straight oblivious to his surroundings. He’d watch the city below, because yes, he came back with them even if this was for a few months. And then he grew distant and jumpy. He never fought on the field with the team and would shy away from any battles. He never asked back for the shield nor his position as Cap.

At first, they’d been surprised, and tried to argue with him – which ended up badly enough. Bucky’s heart clenched at the memory; Steve had pretended to think about the issue and soothed them. Any argument would overwhelm him, they’d find out a bit too late. Later that day they’d gone out on a date and they even had sex.

Everything had gone well.

So why, if Tony hadn’t been restless and unable to sleep, they’d have never noticed that Steve was gone. Again.

The first time had already left an unbearable wound; they’d never been able to survive another one.

They’d run to the garage and caught a glimpse of Steve mounting his bike. Bucky remembered the look he had given them and the smile.

It was at his moment Tony and Bucky knew that Steve would never be the same. If the man before had been an enigma, this one would be a never-ending labyrinth.

So, they had let him go hoping that they’d meet again. Even when everything in them screamed and demanded to call him back and track him. They never did.

And their reward tasted sweeter than corn candy. Only one week later, they received a video call while they were watching the TV. Steve’s gruffy face appeared on the giant screen, a blinding smile playing on his lips.

‘Hello love’ he signed.

Tony and Bucky released a long breath and smiled back. A little shy.

“Hello love,” they said at the same time.

Steve’s face blushed to their delight.

“How was your day, Sweetheart?” Tony asked softly.

Steve’s eyes widen with fragile hope. His smile became reserved and uncertain.

“Doll, tell us we really want to know,” Bucky reassured him.

Steve’s smile blinded them, and he started to sign. They noticed how shaky his hands were and how sometimes he’d lose focus, or he’d press his hand on the scar on his temple. His eyes would go blank for a few seconds and he’d go back to signing.

He never told them the story behind his scars. And they never asked. Deep down they knew what had happened. The scar on the neck was too straight and deep. It was impossible for someone normal to do that kind of damage. The scar on his temples also made sense. A gun would have to be close, almost touching the skin. And he’d be dead for sure. But he wasn’t.

Even though he never told them any details, Bucky and Tony had enough imagination to picture what happened. Tony even made a simulation trying to understand and calm his fears. Only for them to be validated.

So, nothing was normal.

As they watched Steve telling his day, they both let themselves smile and relax.

Maybe it wasn’t normal, but it was their life. And as long as they loved each other it would be alright.