Consequences
Camila is called to Mother Superion's office. On her way to the office Lilith apologized for not being able to save her, but Camila was quick to reassure her that everything will be okay, she doesn't sound convincing and she knows it, she can hear her own nervousness in her voice, but she doesn't stop, she keeps walking until she reaches the door of the office. "Well," Camila said, taking a moment to breathe and look at Lilith, "Wish me luck."
Lilith nodded and leaned against the wall to wait for Camila, Camila entered the office and shut the door behind her.
Mother Superion and the two girls she beat the day before are standing, staring at her. Mother Superion's eyes have an emotion Camila doesn't know how to describe, while the two girls are looking at her mad, fists clenched and eyes furrowed. Camila noticed the bruises on their face, a wave of pride washed over her as she walked towards the women and stood in front of Mother Superion. The room filled with silence for long moments, then Mother Superion coughed and both Monica and Vanessa apologized to Camila instantly; she can't help the smirk that appeared on her face when she saw the look on their faces. A mix of anger and embarrassment. Camila simply nodded and smiled, she knew the apology was fake and so in return she fake accepted it. Monica and Vanessa were quick to leave the room as soon as they were done.
Camila turned to leave the place but Mother Superion stopped her, "I have to say, Camila, you did a good number on them," the older woman said, slowly approaching Camila with a smile on her face, "Well, you wouldn't do anything, so it was my only option," Camila surprises herself with her answer, it seems like for the first time she isn't afraid of what Mother Superion could tell her, probably because, if the older nun had thought about lecturing her, she would've done it already. But she hasn't.
"We had to let you fight your own fight," Mother Superion said simply, stopping right in front of Camila, "Who is 'we'?" Camila questioned a bit confused by the choice of words. She noticed Mother Superion's eyes looking behind her, she turned around and faced the door. Lilith. "She came here earlier, asking me what the consequences would be, she supports my decision," this answer made Camila worry about the situation. But Mother Superion is quick to reassure her with a smile.
Outside the office, Lilith is patiently waiting, pacing through the hallway unconsciously. She is met by Mary and Shannon, who stared at her a bit confused by her actions, a few moments later Beatrice finds them, Mary and Shannon leaning against the wall and Lilith still pacing. They all stayed right there until the door opened and Camila left the office, surprised when she found her friends looking at her with a serious look on their face.
She closed the door of the office and started to walk away, the rest of them following behind, waiting for an answer to the big question, 'What happened'; once they were a few feet away from the office, Camila turned to them, "There were consequences," that answer made them worry, especially Lilith, who thought Mother Superion had changed her decision last minute. But then Camila smiled, "I'm going to be considered for missions from now on."
They all stayed in silence for a bit, and then Mary opened her arms and hugged Camila, patting her on the back a few times. They all congratulated Camila while Lilith took a deep breath and smiled, her anxiety leaving as she exhaled; she was the last one to say something, "Congratulations, you deserve it," was all she said, yet it was more than Camila needed to be happy. There was no hug, no pat on the back, simply a nod. And that was more than enough.
Mary looked at them and smiled, "I think we should go drinking to celebrate," all of them stared at her without saying a word, Shannon used her elbow to hit Mary playfully and laughs, "You only want reasons to drink," Lilith shook her head and sighed, Mary simply started to walk away slowly, "I'll make sure to drink for all of you," she shouted before disappearing from the hall. "She never changes," Beatrice commented, Lilith and Shannon nod their heads in response, agreeing.
To be considered for missions meant that she had to do more, not only to train more, but also learn more. Lilith was the one who took the responsibilities and decided to train with Camila in hand to hand combat after finishing her usual training sessions.
Lilith and Camila were lying on a mat, looking at the sky, after a training session of two hours non stop. Camila did good, she was nowhere near Lilith's level, but she was able to put a fight for a few minutes. It was starting to get dark and they were supposed to go inside soon, but they didn't get up. They stayed right there, enjoying the breeze and the slightly cold weather that felt refreshing.
"Hey, can I ask you something?" Camila asked after a while, by this point Lilith was used to the curiosity of Camila and never really thought much about it. "How does the whole... Halo Bearer thing work? Is there a system or... is it like people know who gets chosen?" Lilith stares at her for a bit, she doesn't like this topic, but Camila doesn't know thag, she knows Camila doesn't want to hurt her or anything, it's all normal curiosity about the situation.
"There are two options, you are either next in line, like a legacy, or you are the best combination of all the good traits needed to be the Halo Bearer," Lilith explained, they both sat and Camila looked at Lilith, unsure of the situation, not knowing if it's okay to ask more, "Were you next in line?" Camila questioned, this made Lilith's eyes widen in surprise, not sure of why Camila asked that, and worried that she might know about what happened and think that Lilith isn't good enough. "I heard something, when Monica and Vanessa were leaving, one of them said you didn't get the Halo," she explained, and Lilith never hated them more than in that moment. She hated the situation, but there was no escaping it.
"Yes, I was."
"And then?"
"Shannon came. She came out of nowhere and had everything I lacked, I can be better than her fighting, but she is more... human; she would sacrifice herself for someone else, no matter the importance of the mission, I would consider it depending on how important the mission is. I hate it, actually, being this way, but I was raised like this. Shannon is better than me, she knows it, I know it, they all know it... I was simply not good enough for it."
Camila stayed there, completely in silence, not knowing what to say; how do you comfort someone like Lilith? Camila doesn't know, but that doesn't stop her. She looked at Lilith and gently took her hand, rubbing her thumb on the back of her hand to show affection, in an attempt to comfort her; she isn't the best comforting, but she always tried her best, and that was something Lilith knew. A little laugh made its way out of Lilith's mouth, making Camila giggle in return.
"I think you are good enough, God simply has other plans for you," Camila said, and she is serious about it, she sounded sincere; Lilith had heard the same words over and over ever since Shannon got the Halo, but something about the way Camila said it made it sound more real, more human. Something about how Camila said it made Lilith think, for the first time ever, that maybe God did have other plans for her, far more important than the Halo. Camila's gentle tone was louder than everything her mom had yelled at her.
Camila's words were the sign God had sent Lilith to not give up.
"Thanks, Camila, that means a lot to me," Lilith replied, she was sincere about it. Something about Camila made her like this, Camila made her feel human.
They eventually go inside, each to her room. Camila fell asleep really quick, the night was short for her. But it wasn't short for Lilith. In her mind she replayed their conversation, getting mad at herself for being so open about her feelings, "You are not like this, Lilith", she told herself over and over again, until her voice became her mother's. Everything the OCS had helped her with during her time there was destroyed by her mom's voice. No. It was destroyed by Lilith's voice. She destroyed herself. She wasn't good enough to get healed.
During the next few days they all noticed Lilith different, especially Camila; in their training sessions Lilith seemed more aggressive, less controlled. Scary.
"Fuck." Mary was pissed. She was the one who met Lilith like this, the one who knew how bad this situation was. She was there when Lilith changed, when Shannon became Halo Bearer and Lilith was consumed with jealousy. When anger was all you could see in her. She knew why Lilith was like that, her mom was the one to blame. She understood Lilith, but that didn't mean she wasn't pissed at her.
"You think it was my fault?" Camila asked, she had told them what had happened and was now thinking that she was the one to blame for the situation, "No, Camila, we don't think it was your fault," Beatrice was quick to reassure her, but they all knew it was a bad idea to talk about the Halo with Lilith, even Camila. "It's normal to have curiosity about this, you just chose the wrong person to ask," Shannon said, getting an annoyed look from Beatrice, to which she simply shrugged, knowing she was right about what she said. The room filled with silence for long moments.
"It'll pass, eventually, she just needs space. I'll train with you, alright? And show you more of the guns," Mary's idea wasn't something Camila liked, but she knew she was right. There was nothing else they could do but give Lilith space.
Training with Mary was okay, not bad, but it wasn't as good as training with Lilith. Mary was more relaxed and took things a bit slowly. Camila had to admit that Mary was better than Lilith, she had never seen them fight, but she is sure that if they did, Mary would win eventually. But training with Mary was still just okay. They focused more on the gun part rather than the combat, Camila knew the weapons were important, but she didn't feel comfortable with a gun, something Mary realized after seeing how Camila hesitated to shoot a gun. Then she came up with an idea.
"Try this," Mary ordered, she handed Camila a crossbow. Her idea worked. Camila felt better with the crossbow, although she knew she would use a gun if it was needed, and she knew how to use many types of guns. But the crossbow suited her well.
Camila soon realized training with Mary was good, sure, it wasn't as intense as she would like it to be, but Mary focused on things Lilith hadn't thought about. One of those things was about civil people, she taught Camila how to knock someone out in the least painful way possible. She taught Camila the human part of their job.
This made her realize why Lilith wasn't the Halo Bearer. But she was still firm in her beliefs, God had bigger plans for Lilith.
Lilith. She hadn't seen Lilith in some time. She missed Lilith. She was the one to blame. She shouldn't have talked about that with Lilith. Beatrice told her they would talk about it some other day. She was impatient. She was the one to blame for Lilith's anger.
Beatrice tried to comfort her, telling her that it was normal to be curious, telling her that it was her fault for refusing to talk about the topic with Camila. But Camila couldn't stop thinking about the way Lilith looked when she brought up the topic, Lilith looked scared. The rest of the sisters thought Lilith was scary, even Camila thought that, but she realized that Lilith was scared.
If she could, she would go to Lilith's room and talk about it, but Beatrice reminded her that she needed time. And Camila knew Beatrice was right.
But God she hated the consequences of it.