Chapter 5
Five: I mean if you search through our chat history it'll become an inside joke you're in on but please don't search through the chat history
Klaus: Fiffy bucks it just has more reasons for all of them to get sent to therapy
Five: You're not wrong
WatahBoi replies to SpiderBoi: |So it's basically...| .
Five: Sometimes I wonder on who's side you're on
WatahBoi: aAjajsjsknddnndd
BrocolliChald: Could've atleast made them go through the pain of scrolling all the way up
TherapistP: "So basically it's a chat from hell" isn't really a clarification
BatBoi: Hhhhhhhhh
Mari: None of us feel like typing right now
SpiderBoi: Basically it was a joke about how it was @TraumatisedChald's cousin's idea who is quite literally from hell
TheBlade: Ah that explains why he's a little shit
X: Tommy put the knife down murder sadly can't be the solution to every problem of yours
TraumatisedChald: ):
X: It's too early to deal with authority figures
TraumatisedChald: My brother is technically an authority figure
TherapistP: I don't think you'd stay in the DSMP if your brother was an authority figure
Five: Nah he's right
BrocolliChald: 90% of the time none of us want to deal with murder so we just don't tell our siblings shit
SuperBoi: Flashback to last week
BatBoi: In my defense you guys didn't tell me he'd be coming to my school
SuperBoi: I'm not blaming you for your brother being overprotective Dami
BatBoi: Eh
BatBoi: It kinda feels like it
Five: This is exactly why you need therapy
BatBoi: Okay Mr. I accidentally time travelled to the future when I was 13 and had to see five of my siblings' bodies and had to wonder what happened to our sixth sibling because he's nowhere to be found and never get to truly mature because how much can you mature when you're all alone cause an apocalypse happened oh look it's a woman who offers me to become an assassin and with no other option I accept, escape the organisation to save my siblings from the apocalypse but they're like "haha no we don't care", get shot and then I use all my energy to save all seven of us (that includes my ghost brother) from our sister who can't control her powers (and take her with us) and teleport us to the 1960s because I also can't control my powers, my brother gets thrown into a mental asylum after police arrests him for trying to take out Lee Harvey Oswald before he can assassinate President Kennedy, same brother dates the daughter of the woman who recruited me into the commission, all of my siblings blame me now and can't meet a deadline because they're too busy with the lives they made in the wrong year, oh did I mention that me and the brother mentioned before from the mental asylum try to break into our father's mansion to talk to him about what to do, my brother gets stabbed which sucks and I'd know it sucks because I'm walking around with a wound that should've gotten infected by now but I must save my siblings, our father calls all six of us to dinner and my sister uses her powers on one of our brothers to make him punch himself in the face, our other sister breaks a glass with her powers (something to do with sound), our dead brother who just found out that he can posses people apparently after a decade of being dead posseses our brother, some other stuff happens and our adoptive father decides he's going to buy seven other children and therefore that dinner fucks up our lives but he gives me advice so when the person that recruited me shoots all of my siblings in front of me and then shoots me I rewind time to before she shoots us and do everything differently so we survive
Five: Oh cause your life is so much better
TraumatisedChald: Honestly sometimes I feel like grandma was looking at souls and the lives they'd have for us like she does with normal humans, took the most fucked up ones and was like "these are my grandchildren" and grandpa was like "What the fuck don't you want them to save the world or some shit" and she was like "trauma is the perfect motivation, look at Ash"
SuperBoi: No because that's DEFINITELY how you guys were created
BatBoi: I personally feel like your life is more fucked up than mine
Five: You were literally trained to be an assassin since you could walk, have zero social skills that is probably because you had no one your age (except us but we're mentally ill too so we don't count) around, etc
BatBoi:
SpiderBoi: wdym we don't count because we're mentally ill too speak for yourself
WatahBoi: People who aren't mentally ill don't jump headfirst into danger
Will: I don't think you can say much about that
WatahBoi: If you weren't dating my (practically) cousin-
Will: Nico, Annabeth he's threatening me again
GoddessOfWisdom:
WatahBoi: I'm not even on the same Earth rn but I feel terrified
WatahBoi: Anyways @Batman🦇 who the fuck is Bufón
Dick: Isn't that Spanish for Joker?
JasonTodd: Yep
TimD: Mhm
WatahBoi: Ah
WatahBoi: Everything makes so much more sense
WatahBoi: But anyways
WatahBoi: Does anyone know Damian's blood type?
TimD: Why do you need Damian's blood type?
WatahBoi: If you don't know his blood type just say so
JasonTodd: Why the FUCK do you need Damian's blood type???
WatahBoi: Look- if you don't know it- just say so-
Dick: IS DAMIAN OKAY?!?!
WatahBoi: Define okay-
Batman🦇: Why do you need his blood type????
WatahBoi: Okay y'know what fuck this @SuperBoi @BrocolliChald WHAT IS DAMIAN'S BLOOD TYPE?!
BrocolliChald: Red
WatahBoi: H I S B LO O D T Y PE
SuperBoi: It's O-
WatahBoi: THANK YOU
BatBoi:
BatBoi: You don't know my blood type??
WatahBoi: I'm sorry I have dyslexia and ADHD
BatBoi: Yes that's remotely close to forgetting my blood type
BatBoi: Please tell me you remember everyone else's
WatahBoi: I don't
BatBoi:
BatBoi: Well fuck then
SuperBoi: Do you guys really not remember each other's blood types??? You've known each other for over a decade??
BatBoi: Shut
SuperBoi: There's been at least twelve occasions for each of you THIS MONTH where you've nearly bled out to death so how-
BatBoi: We played the guessing game
BatBoi: So far the success rate is 100%
BatBoi: So idk why Percy didn't just guess
WatahBoi: Because your siblings (biological, legal, and emotional) are fucking terrifying
WatahBoi: Also Kara
WatahBoi: I'm specifically scared of Kara
BatBoi: Why would you be scared of Kara???
Five: Yeah she's really nice
WatahBoi: She's too nice
Five: I mean he has a point but at the same time she's tehnically a demigoddess so...
WatahBoi: Can we really consider her a half-blood though her other parent was a full-blooded kryptonian but she shares 75% from her DNA with a pureblood so...
BatBoi: Idk I'm turning off my brain
Mari: Gn
TraumatisedChald: Gn
TraumatisedChald: Y'know I might have to go to sleep soon too
Five: Weak /j
TraumatisedChald: Flying wastes too much energy you lil shit
TraumatisedChald: Autocorrect my beloathed
Five: Your spelling would be shit without autocorrect
TraumatisedChald: Fuck you
Five: No insults past 9pm remember?
TraumatisedChald: I'd say I hope the sky falls on you but that's probably already happened to you
Five: You're not wrong
Sloane: Someone take all of them to therapy please
Pearl: Five
Five: You're not my mom
Pearl: Five.
Five: Therapists are rude
Pearl: I'm sure your siblings can find a therapist that isn't rude
BatBoi: No they can't
TraumatisedChald: The only nice therapist any of us know is Puffy and she didn't help much (no offense)
SpiderBoi: Idk what you guys are talking about, I have a therapist and they're great
WatahBoi: Yeah but Tony Stark is practically your dad
SpiderBoi: You do know that makes him your dad too right
WatahBoi: I wouldn't object
Leo: Poseidon probably would though
BrocolliChald: Well well well
BrocolliChald: Look who decided to show up in the gc
Leo: I wish I didn't have to wait a week to leave this gc again
WatahBoi: Leave again and I'm pretty sure Tommy is going to find you and skin you alive
TraumatisedChald: Eh?
WatahBoi replies to TraumatisedChald: | RULES...|
TraumatisedChald: Oh I forgot about that lol
John: I mean do the rules still apply we don't follow them anyways
BrocolliChald: Whoever thought of the atleast 6hrs of sleep a day rule obviously got more fucked up when they started hanging around us
BrocolliChald: 3hrs in a week is the best I can do
BatBoi: You guys sleep?????
Five: Yeah tf???
TraumatisedChald: I've gotten a total of an hour this week and I don't think I've had that much sleep in a while
BatDad🦇: Damian go to sleep
BatBoi: But...
BatBoi: I'm working on a case-
BatDad🦇: Sleep.
John: Sleep >>>>> case
BatBoi: Sleep >>>>> catching villains
John: That applies to you too
SpiderBoi: Yeah
Enderman: That applies to all of you
Five: Fuck off
Five: Sleep is for the weak
Eryn: I'm suprised you guys can spell with so little sleep
Eryn: Then again Tommy's spelling gets worse with the more sleep he gets
TraumatisedChald: Fuck you
Dream: Rude much?
TraumatisedChald: So is making a 16yr old exile one of their best friends and then torture said best friend but here we are
BrocolliChald: L
BatBoi: I swear our reactions are usually better we've just already talked this out and we're not allowed to commit any crimes for another week or so
TimD: I'm sure
SuperBoi: You don't sound very convinced
TimD:
SuperBoi: Kon is asking if you want to go out on coffee
TimD: Tell him I say yes
BatBoi: Oh I can't miss this there's too much blackmail potential
BatDad🦇: No blackmail and go to sleep
BatBoi: Okay :(