Chapter 17
Peter spent the entire ride home reassuring Tony that he was fine, which made him start to question if he did the right thing. And he hates the word ‘fine’ because it doesn’t mean what it’s supposed to mean, not when Peter says it. Did Peter’s disease take over that convincingly and talk him into letting him leave? Shit, he hates when he doubts himself which was a rare occurrence before kids. Now that’s all he ever does because he’s not thinking only of himself anymore. Well, it was too late now so unfortunately the only thing he could do was to watch him carefully, more than he ever has until he can see for himself that Peter was okay enough to be trusted.
Peter also couldn’t stop thanking him for coming and taking him home even though the discharge was very awkward as they left against medical advice. Even Casey found it hard to say goodbye to Peter and she adored him.
“Dad, did we just burn that bridge?” Peter asked.
Tony glanced over at him confused. “What bridge?”
“I mean the way we left the treatment center. If I ever need to go back for anything, not that I’m planning on it but if I do, will they let me back in?” Peter looked a little worried that they’d messed up and to be honest, Tony didn’t know the answer but he didn’t want to sound negative for his sake.
“That’s a good question, I’m not sure but I doubt it. I don’t want you to worry about that, ok?” he said wrapping his arm around him as they walked from the garage into the tower. He was hoping Peter never had to go back so they’d never have to find out.
As they rode the elevator up to the penthouse, Tony was counting his lucky stars that Pepper went into work so she wouldn’t be home. She had no idea what he did and that Peter was going to be back home. He knew she wasn’t going to be happy but hopefully after explaining everything she would see their side of it. If not, they might be finding out if Peter was allowed back or not sooner than they realize!
When they walked into the house, Peter hugged him again for like the fifteenth time today. Not that he minded, he missed him like crazy and he loved his hugs. “Thanks again, Dad,” he said with his head leaning on his shoulder. “I love you so much and I’m so happy you came and got me. I won’t let you down this time,” Peter said and at the last few words his voice broke and he heard him start sniffling.
Tony pulled away to look him in the eyes. “Hey, what’s with the tears?” he asked rubbing his son’s arms up and down. “I thought you were fine?” Peter shrugged which didn’t sit well with him at ALL. Besides the word ‘fine’, he hated shrugging even more when it came to Peter. Was he not fine and he’s been lying this entire time just to get out of there? His chest was feeling tight at the thought.
Peter took a few deep breaths and wiped some tears. “I am, I’m ok or I will be ok, I promise, Dad. I don’t know why I’m crying,” he said as he walked over and slumped onto the couch. Tony took a seat next to him and his worry only grew. “I just think everything is hitting me now. I’ve been through hell and for the first time I’m feeling relieved that it’s finally over,” he said letting out a huge sigh. “No more blackmail, no more stress, no more Flash and his asshole friends, no more hours of extra homework that’s not mine, no more being humiliated on a daily basis and all that other stuff. My life is finally going to go back to normal now.”
Tony breathed a sigh of relief to hear that’s why he was crying. Not because he was upset, but because all that stress was finally leaving him. “I get it, I do,” he said wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “I’m glad it’s over. You didn’t deserve any of it but Pete, but you still have a lot of healing to do because of it. All that shit really messed with you.”
Peter leaned his head back against Tony’s arm and looked up at the ceiling and not at him. “I know it did. And I’m sorry you guys had to put up with me when I was being a jerk…and don’t deny it because I’ve been rude more times than I can count. Morgan must hate me, too. I’ve pushed her aside for weeks. I have to make it up to you guys and I will,” he said still sniffling and finally meeting his eyes.
He looked sad and Tony hates it when Peter puts himself down. “Listen, I’ll admit you weren’t the easiest person to be around these past few weeks but now we know why and all is forgiven, ok? And as for Morgan, she’s a little kid and she’s resilient,” he said waving his hand. “Just butter her up a little bit, spend some quality time with her and she’ll forget about any of that. Oh, that reminds me, we had her meet Dr. Wheeler to –”
That got Peter sitting up straight and he sat facing him now with huge wide eyes that looked panicked. “Wait, what? Why? Is she ok? Why did you have to bring her to see him?” he asked and he could tell by Peter’s expression he was starting to get upset again so he had to tell him delicately. He didn’t want to make him feel guilty over this.
“She’s fine, Pete so relax. We wanted Dr. Wheeler to talk to her about, well, you actually,” Tony said poking Peter’s chest.
“Me? What about me? Why?”
“Pep didn’t think it was right to keep lying to her or make up cover stories to explain where you were so we had Dr. Wheeler talk to her about it. He discussed depression and anxiety so she understands what those are now – to a certain degree for her age. He was fabulous with her which reminds me I have to tell you all about Winnie the Pooh,” he said smirking.
“Ooh—ok. I don’t know how to feel about all that,” Peter said. “Does she think I’m crazy now too?”
Tony looked at him like he had three heads. “Pete, nobody thinks you’re crazy and she doesn’t even know what that means. But because she talked to the doctor, she now knows that you have depression which makes you sad and that sometimes things overwhelm you so you need help. It’s better than keeping her in the dark. The only thing she said when he was done was that she wanted you to get better so you can come home. She loves you so much, kiddo.”
Peter was still wiping some tears and sniffling. “I know, I love her just as much. I love all of you so much it hurts sometimes. I’ll probably need a couple more days to decompress though, do you think she’ll be ok with that?”
“Yes, she will, we’ll make sure of it. Plus, she’ll be so happy you’re home that’s all she’ll care about. She’s easy to please at this age,” he said winking to him. “We’ll tell her to give you your space for a little while, no big deal.”
Peter nodded and took some deep breaths. “Good, that’s good. One less thing to worry about. Mom’s not going to be too happy to see me though. I’m not looking forward to that!”
“Don’t you worry about that, I’ll handle her. Especially because it was my decision to make. I’ll get her on board. So please Pete, don’t worry about that, ok?”
“I’ll try but it’ll be hard. I hate when you guys get upset or fight because of me.” After he sat quietly for a minute, Peter rested his head on Tony’s shoulder. “I’m so tired. Can I go lay down?” and finished with a long yawn.
“You didn’t sleep that well there, did you? I can see the dark bags under your eyes.” That was actually one of the first things he noticed when he walked into Peter’s room at the center. He looked extremely tired, like he didn’t sleep a wink.
Peter shook his head and rubbed his eyes. “Nope. Not at all. When I was in that psych ward for that 72-hour hold, there were a couple of people that screamed at night – all night and it was even louder with my enhanced hearing. I barely got any sleep and I’m exhausted.”
Eek. Just picturing what kinds of things Peter heard was giving him the willies. All these images of horror movies were coming to mind. Tony looked at his watch and it was almost noon. “You have to eat lunch first and then you can sleep as long as you want, ok?” He was studying his expression and he saw the apprehension and fight in him already, dammit.
“Can I eat later when I get up? I’m not that hungry and I’m sooo tired,” Pete whined and he could see more tears pooling in his eyes.
“Peter, don’t start, you just got home after promising me you’ll try. You have to eat lunch and then you can sleep. No negotiations. Did you even eat breakfast this morning?” He only asked because he heard his stomach growling and then Peter wouldn’t look him in the eyes so that answered his question. “Right, so no. I guess you really weren’t the model patient after all. I wonder how many meals you didn’t eat while you were there to lose all your privileges. Actually, don’t answer that, I don’t want to know, it will just make me mad.”
Tony got off the couch and grabbed the suitcase and wheeled it over to Peter. “Here, unpack while I go warm up some left-overs and we’ll eat lunch together.” He was hoping eating together would encourage him to eat more because he really didn’t feel like forcing him.
Peter huffed as he was getting off the couch and grabbed the handle of the suitcase. “Fine,” he said with an attitude as he walked away.
Tony shouted after him, “And no laying down! If you fall asleep, I’ll have Friday blast AC/DC in your room and I’m not kidding!”
After he warmed up some lasagna and reheated some garlic bread in the toaster oven, he asked Friday if he was sleeping and to his pleasant surprise, he wasn’t, so he had her tell him it was time to eat. He would have placed money on it that he went straight to bed.
A minute later Peter walked into the kitchen and Tony noticed he changed into his pajama pants. “Got ready for bed already I see,” he said pointing to his green flannel pajama pants.
“Yea, well as soon as I’m done eating, I’m crashing.” Peter took a seat and his eyes bugged out at the food on his plate. “I have to eat all this?”
Tony was already getting aggravated (and worried) and didn’t want to start an argument when he just got home, especially about food. “Pete, it’s a piece of lasagna and a piece of garlic bread. It’s not like five helpings and a loaf of bread. Settle down and eat.” Peter put on a pouty face but did what he was told and started eating. Tony was relieved and started eating as well.
Peter didn’t finish all of his but he did eat so he’ll take it as a win for now but he knows he won’t let him keep it up. Peter excused himself so he could go take a nap. Before he left, Tony grabbed him by the arm. “Hey, do me a favor and put your watch back on.”
“Now? Can it wait?” Peter whined.
“Yes, now, before you hit the sack. Just do it so it will give me a piece of mind, ok? And fair warning, I’m going to reinstate the privacy setting so I can track your vitals and before you protest, it’s happening,” he said with a stern fatherly voice. Peter nodded but didn’t seem very happy about it but then let him go. “Have a nice nap,” Tony yelled after him as he left.
As soon as Peter was out of sight he leaned on the table and ran a hand down his face as he sat and contemplated his decision. Did he do the right thing? Peter’s not even trying and he just got home after he said he was going to do better. Almost crying over a meal isn’t a step in the right direction. Maybe he’s just overwhelmed like he said.
“Friday, keep a very close eye on Pete and let me know if anything happens, I mean anything, got it?”
“Will do Boss,” she answered back.
Peter did say he needed to decompress for a couple days so he’ll give him the benefit of the doubt but he’ll have to keep a close watch over him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~xXx~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speaking of watch, when Peter went into his room, he took his watch out of the nightstand drawer to put it on like he said he would. He hasn’t worn it since the beginning of school and it felt weird wearing it again. As soon as he put it on, he noticed it light up which it never did before. That must mean Friday was already activated. No, he wasn’t happy about being monitored 24/7 but it was better than being locked up he guessed.
After he put his watch on, he climbed into bed and pulled the covers all the way up to his chin. He was glad to be in his own bed with his own soft blankets and sheets again. He was getting spoiled because he never thought twice about things like nice soft sheets and pillows before. May could only afford the basics and they were good enough for them and never bothered him. He just didn’t know what he was missing.
As he laid down, Bert jumped on the bed and snuggled up against his side. He was petting him with one hand and put this other behind his head and stared at the ceiling while smirking to himself. Being in the treatment center again made him feel claustrophobic, he hated being trapped and locked up like that and was so glad to be home.
He still can’t believe what he did worked! By not giving his consent to give his father any information made him come all the way down there like he hoped it would. If it backfired on him, he wouldn’t be able to see or talk to his dad for over a week. He was putting a lot on the line for this small chance he had taken that his dad would know he needed him. But it did work and he actually talked him into taking him home, too.
He honestly doesn’t know how he feels right now about being home. Thankful – hell yes. Scared – even more. He doesn’t know if what he did was the right thing or if he really needed to stay. He wasn’t sure if what he told his father was all true about how he didn’t belong there. He knows deep down he’s not completely better and he told his dad the truth on that part and he really is willing to go to therapy more. But when all said and done, being home is where he needs to be.
He doesn’t want to let his parents down either; he knows that for sure but he doesn’t know how to overcome all these dark thoughts he has again. He was hoping over time they will go away and now that he’s not being blackmailed and bullied daily maybe they will go away sooner rather than later. He was hoping they would fade away instead of putting in the hard work to overcome them.
He didn’t expect to be that fearful of eating a meal with his dad. He was used to skipping lunch, so maybe the idea that it was “lunch” made all these feelings come up. It felt like he went from a two to an eight on his eating disorder thoughts and that was scaring him. God, he hoped that didn’t happen with every meal now. He knew his dad wouldn’t let him get away with not eating so he has a feeling he’s in for a struggle.
The thought of lunch made him think back on what he went through at school and made him not want to go back. He was wondering what his options were. Maybe homeschooling? He really didn’t want to go to a new school. Just thinking of going back to where he was humiliated every single day made him want to vomit or throw himself out the window! How could things go back to normal after what happened? Even if Flash, Kevin and Jason were expelled and put in jail, all the other kids who laughed and witnessed everything would still be there. Would they still laugh at him? Would they still treat him like shit because he was letting Flash get away with it and he let himself become an easy target?
Ugh, he was getting depressed again and tears started falling down the sides of his face onto the pillow. He felt all that embarrassment and humiliation come flooding back just thinking about what he went through. There’s no way he could go back there. He knew as soon as he stepped into the cafeteria he’d have a panic attack.
Shit, thinking about school made him think about Ned and MJ! He hasn’t talked to either of them since the weekend and he was supposed to call Ned back days ago. He didn’t know where his phone was so he asked Friday to locate it and she said it was in the nightstand drawer. He didn’t even notice it when he took his watch out. His dad must have put it in there for safe keeping but it was dead. He plugged it in to charge it and knew he’d have about fifty messages and voicemails from them but he’d deal with them when he woke up. He didn’t know what to tell either of them but he’d have time to think about it since they were still in school right now.
He was getting more tired but it was hard to shut his brain off. He turned over on his side and closed his eyes. “Friday, dark mode please,” he asked her and suddenly the dark shades covered the windows and the room turned dark. “Thank you.” He wiped some tears that were on his cheek and thankfully he stopped crying. After some time, he finally fell asleep with Bert purring by his side.