Chapter 6
TheFatui
GoodyTwoShoes: Y'all I just took a DNA test 😭
Nottheleader: What's the problem?
GoodyTwoShoes: I matched with some person that was a participant in the Archon War 😭
Russianguy: Not possible, unless you're over 1500 years old.
TheDoctor: What she meant was her parents are descendants of the participant.
KnavesPuppet: Well, who is it?
GoodyTwoShoes: Some guy named Rex Lapis 😭
TheFairLady: Wait a minute
Bank: Rex Lapis, as in Morax, as in the Geo Archon?
GoodyTwoShoes: The who?
Bank: How long have you been alive?
GoodyTwoShoes: Stfu
TheFairLady: Wait Childe. Don't you have a friend with that name?
Russianguy: Firstly, husband. Secondly, yes
TheFairLady: Actually, fiance. You guys didn't get married just yet.
GoodyTwoShoes: So, who is this "fiance" with a similar name?
Russianguy: Well, he's also a descendant of Rex Lapis so you guys might be related
GoodyTwoShoes: Oh really?
Russianguy: Yep
Russianguy: So…
Russianguy: Should I add you to the chat we're in or bring him here?
GoodyTwoShoes: Let's bring him here.
GoodyTwoShoes: I have a hunch that this group chat is overcrowded.
Russianguy: It is.
Russianguy: I also need to mention he's completely mad at me rn
1stHarbinger: Why is that?
Russianguy: A couple of days ago, I said a few things that shouldn't have been said.
TheFairLady: *Insert picture*
Numbknees: Oh wow
Russianguy added NoMora(x)
TheDoctor: That's kinda fucked up…
Russianguy: Ik
GoodyTwoShoes: Imagine having a date canceled after saying that you're not mad at someone hitting on your boyfriend 💀
Russianguy: I didn't mean it
Nottheleader: Where is he anyways?
Russianguy: He's a history teacher so probably teaching
1stHarbinger: What does he teach?
Russianguy: The history of Liyue, the Archon War, and the destruction of Khaenri'ah
1stHarbinger: All good things to learn about.
Russianguy: He was actually nominated as the best teacher 14 times
TheDoctor: How come I didn't get an award?
GoodyTwoShoes: None of us got awards.
TheDoctor: Oh right
NoMora(x) has joined the chat
NoMora(x): I'm sorry, but whoever is in this group chat, please stop texting, I'm in the middle of a lesson.
Numbknees: Sorry
NoMora(x): It's okay, but you guys can continue after 15
NoMora(x) has left the chat
(10) users have left the chat
TheFatui
NoMora(x) has joined the chat
NoMora(x): Hello?
(6) users have joined the chat
Russianguy: Hello my sweet honey 🥹
NoMora(x): Is there literally anyone else besides him
Russianguy: 😰
TheFairLady: Get wrecked, Childe.
NoMora(x): Ah, Signora. Do you know what I'm doing here?
TheFairLady: @GoodyTwoShoes
GoodyTwoShoes has joined the chat
GoodyTwoShoes: You must be this Zhongli person.
NoMora(x): Yes, and you?
GoodyTwoShoes: Columbina.
GoodyTwoShoes: I heard you're related to a god named Rex Lapis?
NoMora(x): Why yes, is there something you know?
GoodyTwoShoes: Well, I took a DNA test and it turns out my grandfather was in some way.
NoMora(x): So, that would make you relate to me?
GoodyTwoShoes: I guess but I don't know why I'm only hearing about you know.
NoMora(x): Who knows
GoodyTwoShoes: How long have you knew you were a descendant of Rex Lapis.
NoMora(x): My parents told me everyday since birth
GoodyTwoShoes: Wtf?
NoMora(x): Yeah, it was not a good time.
Numbknees: Wait @GoodyTwoShoes how the hell did you know you were a descendant if a DNA test only shows your parents?
GoodyTwoShoes: It's tradition to get a DNA test in my family so I got curious and asked about my parents parents and their parents parents and so on until the beginning of DNA tests.
Lostboy: They allow that?
Russianguy: How the fuck did you get in this chat?
Lostboy: Idk the author said they were adding me to this chat but it's great to see two familiar names :)
TheAuthor: Hey! I told you not to tell anyone about that!
Lostboy: Oops my bad
1stHarbinger: Are you two fatui agents?
Russianguy: No, they somehow joined the chat Signora and I are in despite not being added
TheFairLady: How come this was the first time I'm hearing of him?
Lostboy: Oh that's because I found my way back home but then I got lost again
Numbknees: So you can't find your home?
Lostboy: on rare occasions I can find it but now I'm somewhere.
Lostboy: it's very fancy looking
Lostboy: i'm on the streets rn. homeless
Lostboy: eating a free long piece of bread they call a bagett i think
Seen at 15:56
Lostboy: Not again
Seen at 15:56
1stHarbinger removed Lostboy from the chat
TheAuthor: Why in the world would you do that?
Seen at 15:57
1stHarbinger removed TheAuthor from the chat
Barbatos is watching you from your closet