As Luck May Hoof It
“My Lord,” Sebastian began, entering the depths of hell. “I have returned.”
“Well,” Pokkle drawled. He sat in his favourite throne. It was made of the bones of the deceased Oxbridge students. Kuranosuke. Gon. Shu. Usopp. Even Tonpa. Though of course their soles were free to roam their respective realm of afterlife. He knew he had to keep an eye on Shu’s sole, who was trying to join Usopp in heaven. “How did it go?”
“I did just as you asked, my Lord. I carried out your will as you specified in your instructions. And while my mission was, overall, a success, your plan has, ultimately and rather predictably, failed.”
Pokkle growled. Ever since he had dethroned satan, the butler had become more irritable than usual. Not even his sexy face, with those murderous glinting eyes or long black emo hair could take the edge off of his sharp words. “Tell me the exact de-tails, Sebastian. I'm in no mood for your antics today.”
“Certainly, Master. First I guided one man, at the time I had believed him to be a student, to the bed of Chopper at the time that his leg was removed, so that he could be a witness to the truth. Alas, it seemed as though I picked the wrong child, for not only was he not a student, but furthermore he was not able to share the revelation to any of the students because he’s an untrustworthy sauce. Apparently he has a hallucination fetish. And I went to all the trouble of holding his head in place as well.” Sebastian shook his head in disappointment. “But otherwise the situation was just as you predicted. Chopper’s discarded leg was just where you said it would be. I picked it up, wrapping it in a bin bag of course. I didn't want to soil my gloves with his disgusting deer hair. These gloves cost 5,000,000 in Victorian money mind you and they were, after all, a gift from the young master. If only the young master was here with me now, he'd be laughing at my predicament I'm sure.”
“Don't mention that name to me!” Pokkle snarled. “It's always young master this, young master that! Ciel is dead! And he's not coming back! He certainly won't be revived by a grim reaper and return to the world of the living as a zombie, I can tell you that much!” Pokkle watched the butler’s face go dark, sadness pulling down those luscious lips into a frown. Pokkle sighed. He knew the more harsh he was on the butler, the more likely he would rebel. Pokkle straightened in his throne, pulling his jacket tighter around him. The jacket was far too small, the sleeves stopping short just below his elbows, but Pokkle could not resist its elegance. The deep blue satin material, the matching trim. And the top hat balanced precariously atop his marvelous head (his purple hat was of course worn underneath). Blue to match Ciel’s eye. It was the exact shade of Ciel’s eye in fact. Because this particular outfit had once belonged to the young earl. Pokke had… confiscated it from the young boy.
Watching his new master wear the clothes of his old master had deeply pained Sebastian. It reminded him once more of his deep hunger, a hunger that could only be satisfied by the young child. He longed for Ciel, yearned for him. His sweet heat, the warmth of his soul saturating every millimeter of Sebastian’s mouth. The boy was present in every waking thought. And demons do not usually sleep. And so he was in the butler’s thoughts at every moment.
Pokkle sighed again, and gestured for the butler to continue.
Sebastian cleared his throat. “As I was saying. I took the leg and handed it over to Inosuke. I had hoped the leg would have been cooked and served up immediately, thus destroying it, but alas, it seems as though the students have indeed recovered it. A shame really,” Sebastian finished on a smile, taunting Pokkle. “I'm just glad that Inosuke didn't notice I was a demon. Had he realised before I left, I have no doubt he would have attempted to slay my booty- I could feel him staring at me the whole time, even without seeing his eyes from under that hideous boar mask. Though it does remind me when I myself put on a- coincidentally- deer head to mask my identity. I was, dare I say it, one HELL of a deer. Perhaps even a better deer than Chopper himself. But that’s not entirely difficult. Chopper is truly a pathetic creature. But this all happened when I was serving the young-” Sebastian broke off when he saw Pokkle’s glare.
“Serving who?”
“Oh. No. No one my Lord. No one that you need bother yourself with.” Sebastian smiled through the pain.
“Chopper getting his leg back is inconsequential. Although it would have been fun to watch him suffer. But our real aim, our mission has not been successful. But it's not over yet. We have lost the battle, but we’ll win the next chess match. When playing checkers, it's important to keep your friends close, and kill your enemies!” Pokkle announced grandly. He stood up from his throne and raised a fist into the air. Behind him the hoards of evil cheered.
Sebastian could only roll his eyes.