June 11 1972
Sirius arrived yesterday. He seems to be cross with me although I haven’t a clue as to why. He got thoroughly punished for not coming home during winter holidays as well as being sorted into Gryfindor and therefore becoming a stain on our family tree and even worse, becoming a laughing stock within the sacred 28.
When he arrived home, after his punishments, I tried to talk to him, but as soon as he saw me he just rushed into his room without so much as a hello. I am worried that the months without communication have worsened our already weakening relationship. It saddens me to think that the months of summer will be sent in misery not only by the will of our mother, but also by the disdain coming from Sirius.
I suppose three more months of only Kreacher for company isn’t so bad, I’ve lasted this long and Sirius has always gotten the brunt of the punishments. I’ve learned to keep my head down a lot better in these months of waiting for Sirius to arrive once more for company and to drag me into his foolish endeavors. Despite the amount of trouble we got in I find myself missing his silly plans sincerely.
It feels as though he is a ghost. All day he has refused to come out of his room and refused to allow me in. I asked Kreacher to send him a message, but that only returned Kreacher with a growing bruise. I apologize repeatedly to Kreacher as I really shouldn’t have sent him in there considering the hatred Sirius holds for the house elf, why he hates Kreacher I shall never understand as Kreacher is a perfectly good house elf and decent company as well. I suppose it doesn’t really matter all that much considering Kreacher doesn’t really appreciate Sirius company anymore than Sirius does his.
There is too much to be thinking of right now, from school starting so soon to Sirius ignoring my existence and the ever lurking presence of my mothers horrid punishments. It's becoming too much. I am constantly walking on eggshells to try and keep out of everyone's way while trying to figure out a way to get Sirius to talk to me again. It just doesn’t make sense, he was the one who stopped contacting me, I sent at least four messages through Narcissa before I quit trying entirely. If anything he should be begging forgiveness for forgetting to write despite his many promises that he would never forget about me no matter how many friends he made or adventures he went on.
-RAB