Harry Potter Breaks the Timeline
"Harry?"
"No."
Sirius scowled. "Harry, the favourite godson thing was a joke, lighten up."
"No."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I need to ask you something."
Hermione and Draco looked up suspiciously. Daphne bit her lip, probably to suppress giggles. Luna smiled. Neville rolled his eyes and Susan turned the page of her book. Ginny and Ron glanced between Sirius and Harry, interest piqued.
"And what sort of question would that be, Mr Black?" Harry asked in a clipped tone. Sirius frowned. Wow, Harry had really taken the favourite godson banter to heart. Remus snorted from behind Sirius.
"Told you it would come back to bite you." He murmured, shaking his head fondly. "Anyway, Harry, Sirius and I were just reminiscing on our Hogwarts days when we remembered something rather peculiar....."
~
Minerva's Office
"Well, Black, if you do take up on Poppy's offer to be trained and paid to be a healer for the school, we would be delighted to have you." Minerva took a small sip of a tea and offered Sirius a biscuit.
"Thanks." He said gratefully, accepting. "Blimey, working in the hospital wing. Pretty sure there wasn't a single day where at least one of us Marauders wasn't in there, was there Moons?" Remus gave a half-shrug and put down his empty mug.
"At least Remus had a legitimate reason most of the time, the rest of you just made my job ten times harder. However, you lot did help to get me a pay rise." Poppy added, eliciting a snort from Severus.
Sirius' eyebrows shot up. "We did? When? Which incident was it?"
"The Great Prank War of 1975?" Remus wondered aloud. "You and James were in the Hospital Wing for weeks after that one. And were incredibly overdramatic about it too, it's no wonder where Harry got it from."
"Nope, that wasn't it." Poppy shook her head, smirking. "The incident that pushed me far enough to give Dumbledore a "pay me more or I'll quit" ultimatum was actually in your last year of schooling. In fact, your part in the whole matter was mostly indirect. I believe we had some... interesting transfers that somehow escalated your troublemaking prowess to new heights?"
"Oh yeah, I remember them!" Sirius exclaimed. "How long were they with us for, like two weeks? They were very strange."
"And just as insufferable as the rest of you." Severus drawled.
"It was more like two days. It only felt like two weeks because they were completely off their rockers. What were their names again?" Remus asked, looking at Minerva and Poppy, who both seemed unsure. Severus' eyes widened.
"What, Snape?" Sirius asked. He was still slightly thrown off by being on somewhat cordial terms with the man.
"Their names." He said slowly, eyes flashing with anger. "How did I forget?"
"What? What were their names?" Sirius asked, leaning forwards.
Snape glared at his own cup of untouched tea and muttered two names, just loud enough for the others to hear.
Remus choked and Minerva spat out her mouthful of tea. Sirius dropped his mug in absolute horror.
Hogwarts Castle, 1977
"Who do you reckon they are?" Sirius nudged James in the side, pointing at the two students following McGonagall to the front of the hall. She had the sorting hat tucked under her arm.
"I don't know. Transfers, maybe?" James poked his bacon with his fork, perking up a bit when Lily flopped down next to him.
"Three months into the year? That seems a bit strange." Lily wrinkled her nose, eyeing the two strangers. Both were definitely about their age, and looked fairly similar.
The boy was a little shorter than James, Sirius reckoned, and had messy brown hair that reached his shoulders. Sirius wasn't sure if he was imagining the slightly crazed gleam in his otherwise unremarkable brown eyes. The girl was shorter than the boy by a centimetre at most, and was gazing around the room with an odd sense of familiarity. Her dark brown hair easily reached her waist.
Sirius narrowed his eyes. Now that he thought about it, both of them seemed very comfortable for two strangers who had just entered the main meeting place of a brand new environment, filled with hundreds of pairs of eyes watching them. In fact, the pair seemed more content trying to kick each other in the backs of their knees as they walked than they did to stare at the hall in wonder.
The girl managed to send the boy crumpling to the floor first. He hissed and glared at her. She rolled her eyes and offered him a hand up; he took it and used it to pull himself up whilst simultaneously pulling her to the floor. She squeaked and McGonagall turned to look at them both disapprovingly.
James was sniggering behind his hand. Lily and Remus seemed torn between amusement and disapproval. Peter looked a bit scared.
Sirius wasn't sure what to think.
"Attention please!" Everyone fell silent and turned to look at McGonagall. Sirius made eye contact with the boy stood behind her, who winked. Sirius winked back. He had no idea who these kids were, but they seemed like trouble.
"Today, two new students will join our seventh year class. I trust you will all give Mr Daniel Radcliffe and Miss Daphne Fields a warm welcome. Now, let's get you both sorted into your houses, shall we?"
"Who would transfer in seventh year?" Lily wrinkled her nose in confusion whilst McGonagall beckoned the boy forwards. He bobbed down slightly so she could place the hat on his head and he closed his eyes.
Sirius and James watched with identical smirks as the hat and the boy seemed to have a pretty intense battle of wills.
"Don't you dare!" The boy eventually threatened aloud. James and Sirius exchanged a look. The hat chuckled loudly.
"Sorry, but the opportunity really is too good to miss. RAVENCLAW!"
Opportunity? Sirius frowned. His friends did the same. What opportunity? What was so bad about Ravenclaw?
"D'you think he's just really dumb and the hat's trying to mess with him?" Peter asked nervously, trying to find a reason as to why the boy would hate Ravenclaw.
"Nah, the kid is probably just being dramatic. Ravenclaw is an okay house, he'll be fine." James said confidently.
Sirius watched as the boy, Radcliffe, scowled and glared at the hat.
"You are an evil, spiteful little piece of piece of fabric and I will get my revenge for this!" He declared angrily. Remus and Lily exchanged incredulous looks as the boy stormed towards the Ravenclaw table.
"What were you saying, James?" Sirius asked cheerfully as the boy sat down behind them with a resounding thud, still muttering under his breath about "senile magical objects and their uppity snobbishness".
McGonagall seemed ruffled, but was unsure how to address the behaviour. Sirius looked up at Dumbledore, who just looked plain amused. Sighing, McGonagall moved on.
"Miss Fields, if you please." Sirius watched as the girl's expression mirrored Radcliffe's almost perfectly as she argued mentally with the hat before also being sorted into Ravenclaw.
Sirius was never more grateful for sitting on the side of Gryffindor table that was closest to the Ravenclaws. The two new Ravenclaws were sat with their backs facing the Marauders, meaning they were in the top spot for eavesdropping.
As breakfast continued, the Marauders eavesdropped shamelessly. Even Lily huffed and put her book to the side to listen, Alice and Marlene giving her knowing grins. Mary, ever the dramatic one, was perfectly positioned opposite to act our the conversation in real-time so that James and Sirius wouldn't give themselves away by turning around curiously. Lily also had her back to the Ravenclaws, but she was less likely to be so obviously nosy, not when she'd spent years perfecting her eavesdropping skills.
"... can't believe Monty would have the nerve, what a sick, twisted sense of humour-" The boy, Radcliffe, said bitterly. James raised a brow at Sirius. Who was Monty?
"Honestly! That blasted hat, far more trouble than he's worth. You play one little game and all of a sudden he thinks he's this big hot-shot-" The girl added venomously.
"Did- did they just call the sorting hat Monty?" Peter whispered. Remus shushed him but the two new Ravenclaws were too engrossed in their conversation to notice the eavesdroppers.
Sirius watched Marlene's eyebrows rise higher and higher.
"What?" He asked, since he couldn't see the Ravenclaws without physically turning around.
"Who eats roast potatoes with bolognaise? And for breakfast? Really?" Is all she said in response, giving one of the transfers a disgusted look.
"One, ew. Two, how did he get spag bol and potatoes at breakfast time?" Remus asked incredulously. Sirius and James grinned, both unanimously deciding they had a new mission.
"He could've at least gone with Hufflepuff, or just not sorted us at all. Anywhere but Ravenclaw, that was my only request-"
"I swear the more I begged the more he laughed, should've kept my mouth shut. Where's the ice cream in this place anyway?"
"What's so wrong with Ravenclaw?" Lily muttered frostily, looking slightly offended. She had almost been one herself apparently. Sirius smirked at her.
"- It's breakfast, Daphne, you don't get pudding. I would've preferred Slytherin, even if it is full of fully-fledged Death Eaters!" Sirius and James stifled snorts, Remus rolled his eyes and the girls stilled.
"Ravenclaw is definitely better than Slytherin, what is their problem?" Mary hissed.
"No pudding at breakfast, he says whilst stuffing his face with a cooked dinner. And what do you mean, full of fully-fledged Death Eaters?" The girl sounded mightily offended for someone not in Slytherin.
"I meant what I said." Radcliffe said stubbornly. Sirius sniggered.
"Excuse me? Watch yourself, Daniel." Sirius gave the girl a sharp look. It sounded a lot like she was defending Death Eaters.
"Oh shut it, Fields. Just because you're a slippery little snake in a crow's nest doesn't mean you need to bite my head off." Lily's eyes narrowed.
"What is it, Evans?" Sirius whispered.
"He makes it sound like she's meant to be a Slytherin or something. And don't you think they say each other's names like - I don't know, like they're fake or something?"
James snorted. "Surely not."
"You could've been so much more inventive, you know? All I ask for is one nickname, one-" Lily gave James a triumphant look.
"Well then, the real question is who are they actually?" Remus whispered.
"Tough bananas!" The boy scoffed. "And if you keep talking to me like that, you'll never get one!"
"He sounds like you when you tell James no." Sirius smirked at Lily, who rolled her eyes. "That's an Evans catchphrase 101."
The girl interrupted them. "I wish you'd stop saying that. Anyway, I thought you got over all your "All Slytherins are Death Eaters" thing?" Sirius looked at a sniggering Mary with a raised brow, who mimed putting her hands on her hips in manner not unlike James' mum.
"Never mind." James said, elbowing Sirius to stop him from chuckling. "The girl sounds more like you then he did, Evans." Lily glared at him and he winked at her playfully.
"Wait." Remus said suddenly. "They're transfers, they've never been here before. How do they know enough about Hogwarts to have opinions like these already?"
"Always so suspicious, Moons. Next you'll be telling us they're time travellers!" Sirius snarked. James stifled a laugh.
"I never had an "all Slytherin's are Death Eaters" thing, I had an "I hate Draco" thing! It's completely different!" Radcliffe argued. Mary mimed throwing her hands up in the air in frustration and Sirius had to hold back laughter at the play-by-play she was giving them. James covered his mouth to stifle his own laughter.
"There's no one called Draco in Slytherin, is there?" Alice asked, looking over at the Slytherin table. "I've never heard the name."
"Not in any of my family's circles." Sirius said darkly.
"You just said-" The girl started, but was interrupted.
"It's 1977, so statistically I'm actually correct." The boy sounded incredibly pleased with himself.
"What the-"
Lily covered James mouth. "Shut up, they'll here you!" She hissed.
"How does he know the Slytherin-to-Death Eater statistics of this year? We don't even have a statistic!" Marline whispered frantically.
"I bet time travellers is sounding less far-fetched now, eh Padfoot?" Remus quipped. Sirius smirked at him.
"You say it like you were the one to come up with it." He snarked back. Remus stomped on his foot. "Ow! That was low, even for you."
Remus just grinned proudly and took another bite of toast.
"How would you know? You hate statistics!" The girl retorted, making the boy laugh. Sirius wondered if they were just a bit barmy. Surely if they were really some sort of secret agents or time travellers they would have put up a muffliato before openly discussing it.
"Looks less suspicious to sound crazy then to be all secretive." Remus muttered, guessing Sirius' thought process.
"Stop reading my mind like that, it's creepy." Sirius said, tuning back in to the transfers' conversation.
"You seriously thought I waltzed in here without Susan and Hermione doing thorough research for me first?"
"Who?" Peter squeaked. Sirius shushed him, but they were all thinking the same thing. Who were Susan and Hermione?
"You didn't tell me about any of this!" The girl exclaimed. "I've been completely blindsided! You see, this is why I hate you."
"Oh as if, I'm literally your favourite person. And I didn't tell you because I was going to come here alone until you got all jealous!"
"Okay, I'm officially super confused now." Marlene said, giving the Ravenclaws a strange look. "What is happening?"
"Oh look, who is she?" James pointed at a small blonde girl who looked an awful lot like Pandora, a Ravenclaw two years below them. The blonde girl met Sirius' eye and waved merrily before sitting down opposite the two arguing Ravenclaws.
"Have you seen her before?" Mary asked. "Because I haven't." The other eavesdropping Gryffindors shook their heads.
"-It's not my fault you keep ditching me for Su- hey Luna. Wait, Luna?" The girl hissed in surprise. Sirius frowned.
"Luna, what are you doing here?" The boy asked urgently. "It's literally impossible for you to be here!" Sirius' frown deepened. What in Merlin's name was going on?
"You're here." Luna said delicately. The other girl snorted and the boy huffed. "So I'm here. Apparently Professor Sinistra doesn't trust you to do things like this alone. Professor Trelawney seemed quite content to let you."
"Do things like what?" James muttered to himself.
"Isn't Trelawney the new Divination teacher?" Marlene asked with a wary look at the staff table.
"Yep." Sirius said, having taken the class for an easy NEWT. "Trelawney's off her rocker, but aren't all Divination professors? Sinistra's been here for ages. Which begs the question: how do these three completely new students know them?"
"Those meddling old hags!" The boy exclaimed, presumably meaning the teachers. Lily scowled and James' eyes lit up. Sirius heard what he thought was a rather nasty smack. "Ouch! Daphne, If you knew what I knew about those two... slime-buckets, you'd be insulting them too!"
"He's got a rather... unique taste in insults, hasn't he?" Alice said poshly.
"Oh yeah, very inventive!" Sirius snickered. "Maybe I'll pay him to use it to Sinistra's face next week!" He didn't bother to keep his voice down- Lily had put up a discreet silencing ward around them, so they couldn't be heard by the transfers but could still listen avidly.
"Enlighten me, then." The girl shot back. "Go on!"
"No, I promised I wouldn't tell. I already got it in the neck for telling Su- Ow, would you please stop hitting me! It's not my fault Susan is always the first person I see after cool stuff happens! Wait, Luna, if you're here..." The boy trailed off and Mary pulled a shocked face. Sirius stifled a snort. "Does that mean you're-"
"What? She's what?" Daphne asked. Sirius hoped the boy would answer her. He didn't.
"Those scheming little niffler-loving liars!" The boy clenched his fists. "Should've known better than to trust them."
Sirius and James broke out into peals of laughter.
"Niffler-loving!" James spluttered. "What sort of insult is that?"
To the Gryffindor Seventh Years' shock, the boy turned to the staff table and stuck his tongue out at the two professors he'd named earlier. The Gryffindor seventh years watched open-mouthed as Sinistra winked back and Trelawney waved merrily.
"What the actual-" James cut himself off, shaking his head slightly. "Have we all gone mental? Am I dreaming?" Sirius kicked him in the shin. "Ow!"
"Nope, not a dream." Sirius grinned and shuffled away from James' own vengeful foot.
They head a much louder smack this time.
"Tell me!" The girl hissed.
"I will when we get back, if I get permission to. Susan will explain it better than-"
"Why do you keep telling Susan all your deepest secrets now, huh?" Mary put her hands back on her hips and glared at Sirius, who laughed openly.
"Oh for the love of- not this again!" The boy groaned.
Lily cancelled her spell and coughed loudly. James and Sirius glared at her, wanting to continue watching the show, but reluctantly turned in their seats to face the two (three?) new Ravenclaws.
"Er, hi?" Lily said, slightly lamely. The blonde Ravenclaw smiled at her and the other two turned around on the bench to face them. "Welcome to Hogwarts! I'm Lily Evans, Head Girl."
"James Potter, Head Boy." James smiled easily at the Ravenclaws.
"Hi!" The boy exclaimed eagerly. Daphne facepalmed. "I'm Daniel Radcliffe, but you can call me Daniel. It is so great to be here! Well, sort of. Would've been much nicer if we'd been in literally any other house." The boy pouted and the girl whacked him again. "Oh right, this Daphne Fields, my extremely violent psychopathic cousin."
"Says the boy who plays death-tag with Be-" Daniel covered her mouth. Daphne glared at him furiously.
"What do you have against Ravenclaws?" James asked, pretending they hadn't even been eavesdropping the whole time. Daniel scowled and uncovered Daphne's mouth. Daphne shuddered.
"Everything." Daniel said darkly. "Absolutely everything." The Ravenclaws around them had been steadily looking more and more offended, but that was the final straw. The Ravenclaws sat nearest to them gave them extremely dirty looks and shuffled away from them.
"Well, that seems a bit prejudiced." Marlene smirked. "Marlene McKinnon. The blonde is Alice, the brunette is Mary. The idiot sat next to the idiot called James is called Sirius, and those two are Remus and Peter."
The boy rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. He caught a glimpse of his light brown hair and seemed a bit surprised. "Er hi." He said rather lamely, similar to Lily earlier.
"Daniel Radcliffe is an interesting name, are you a muggleborn?" Lily asked politely.
"Nope, half-blood. The name suits me well, I am pretty rad." Sirius laughed. "Like I said earlier, this is Daphne."
"Pleasure." She said, eyeing the Gryffindors. "I'm Daniel's cousin, and I'm by far his superior in every way." Sirius definitely didn't imagine the smug smirk on her face.
Daniel scoffed. "You wish! And this is Luna. She doesn't speak much." The blonde girl waved and skipped out of the hall.
"What is it with you people stealing my mannerisms?" Daniel said to Daphne, who just grinned and pinched his arm.
"How'd you know... Luna, was it?" James scratched his head. "I don't remember seeing her here before. And she wasn't sorted with you guys?"
"She's not on the roster." Daniel and Daphne chorused.
Lily raised a brow. "Right. Because that's totally normal and not strange at all."
Daniel frowned, trying to find the words. "Luna just sort of... comes and goes where she pleases. Which makes a lot more sense to me now." He added the last bit as an afterthought.
"Not to me." Daphne grumbled. "Because you don't tell me anything anymore."
"Oh stop whining, please!" Daniel groaned. "Honestly, you're worse than Draco!"
"Who is Draco?" Mary asked. Daniel winced.
"Oh, a friend of ours from our previous school. He's a git, you'd hate him."
"You're a git and I hate you." Daphne added.
"Do you two even like each other at all?" Remus asked incredulously. "I mean, you showed up together trying to kick each other over and since your sorting you've done nothing except argue!"
"Been earwigging, have you?" Daniel smirked. "We get along just fine, it's just the way we are."
"Speak for yourself!" Daphne said bitterly. Sirius hid a smile at her obvious displeasure. Daniel was an odd bloke, but he was pretty funny.
"Right that's it, I'm leaving you behind next time." Daniel said sternly. Daphne gasped in outrage.
"Leaving her behind where?" James asked, confused. "I thought you were just transfers?"
"Of a sort." Daniel shrugged noncommittally. "I was supposed to come alone, technically." He gave Daphne a pointed look and she huffed.
"Tell that to Luna." She muttered.
"Right." Sirius raised a brow and shook his head, giving up on trying to figure out who exactly these people were. "So, how do you like Hogwarts so far?" He asked instead.
"It's great!" Daphne said, smiling at Sirius. "Beautiful castle. It looks amazing with all the snow outside." Alice nodded in agreement.
"Wonderful skiing weather." Daniel added. Lily perked up.
"You ski?" She said excitedly.
"Nope!" Daniel grinned. "I've always wanted to though, it's on my bucket list. Since we're in the Scottish highlands I'm sure there's some mountains around for us to have a go at it on."
"Not on school grounds there isn't." James leaned forwards, a familiar smirk crossing his face. Sirius felt his own smile widen. "But we know a few ways out if you fancy a little... day trip." Sirius smirked. He liked the two Ravenclaws, but this was the true test as to whether they were worth any of the Marauder's time.
"Sure, why not?" Daniel shrugged. "Sneaking out and learning to ski can't be harder than fighting a dragon." Sirius and James looked at each other with identical smirks. These two strange Ravenclaws had stories, and the two marauders would not rest until they had heard them all.
Lily spluttered. "You are joking, right? You've only been here for thirty minutes! You can't sneak out already!"
Daphne grinned, rather savagely in Sirius' opinion. "Thirty minutes is plenty long enough to settle in, don't you agree?" She turned to Daniel, who nodded vehemently in agreement.
"What an odd comparison you used before." Remus said thoughtfully. "Had many interactions with dragons, have you?"
"Only three." Daniel tilted his head as if it were totally normal to encounter dragons. "None of them were exactly a fight, though. More so a smuggling operation, a conversation and a ride." Sirius' and James' eyes bugged out of their heads.
"Shut your mouths, you'll catch fish." Daniel smirked. Sirius was now officially hooked.
"You're hired." He crowed delightedly. "Moony, two new Marauders incoming. They'll need nicknames, of course!"
"That's alright, we'll keep the ones we've got." Daniel said with a wink. Daphne looked extremely cross at that.
"Oh? And what would those be?" Sirius put his chin on his hand, staring at the two newbies with curiosity.
"You look lovesick, Padfoot, pull yourself together." James snarked. "Are you saying Daniel and Daphne aren't your real names?"
Daniel grinned. "They are. My nickname is, oh, which one Daphne? Child of Nightmares or Chaos Bringer?" Daphne didn't respond. Sirius raised a brow.
"She's a bit miffed that I have a lot of crazy nicknames and she doesn't." Daniel explained. "And as long as she stays miffed about it, that's how it will stay. "
"Chaos Bringer it is!" James exclaimed. "And I guess Daphne will just have to stay Daphne."
"You'll pay for this." Daphne promised Daniel. He just laughed.
"Okay, okay, you can have a nickname. How about Greengrass?" He suggested innocently, but both James and Sirius noticed the teasing lilt in his tone. Daphne's snarl was covered up by Alice's exclamation of delight.
"Oh, it matches your surname!" Alice clapped. "How wonderful!"
Sirius thought if looks could kill, Daniel Radcliffe would definitely be dead.
Lily huffed. "I can't believe this. We have trouble enough with these four, add two more? Ridiculous!"
"What, the nicknames? That's the point Evans, they're supposed to be ridiculous." Sirius retorted, trying to wind Lily up. "Besides, everyone here knows you're the insane one!"
Lily huffed. "I am not!" The other Gryffindors exchanged a knowing look. "I'm not! Honestly, you hide an extremely loud invisible clock in a room one time and you get called crazy! It's a classic muggle prank!"
"Muggles can't make them invisible." Remus pointed out. "And none of us were even referring to the clock."
"Oh really? What were you referring to then?" Lily glared at Remus dangerously and he gulped. Sirius leaned forwards, smirking widely.
"Well, firstly there is the temper, then that thing you did Snape's slimy little snake friends the other day-"
"The kettle incident-"
"The bowtruckle fiasco-"
"The fi-"
"Alright, alright!" Lily had flushed slightly with embarrassment, but she was smiling. "Anyway, just because I, very occasionally might I add, get revenge on people when necessary, I do not sneak out of my school in the middle of winter to go skiing! Besides, sneaking out, climbing a mountain and teaching yourselves to ski is impossible!"
Daniel raised a brow at Lily's outburst. "Oh yeah? How about a bet, Evans?"
Sirius and James grinned madly for the rest of the day. For some reason the transfers did not show up for any of their classes, but even that didn't dull James and Sirius' good moods. Not when they already had the perfect plans for the next day.
~
Daphne, Daniel, Sirius and James ventured out alone the very next morning, as per the rules of Lily and Daniel's bet. Luckily it was a Saturday, and a Hogsmeade weekend to boot. Since Daniel and Daphne had no permission slips, they weren't allowed to go. Not that it mattered- there were plenty of other ways to sneak out after all.
It was simple, really. If the four of them could sneak out of the castle, climb a nearby mountain and successfully ski, Lily would owe them twenty galleons and a favour for the Marauders. For some reason, Daniel didn't want to claim the favour for himself.
"Fine, one favour. But to share, not one each."
They had borrowed a camera from the mystery girl, Luna, and Lily had cast some sort of spell on them so she would know if they got lost or injured. She didn't seem too worried, years of exposure to Marauder nonsense tended to knock the anxiety out of you after a while.
"One-eyed witch?" Sirius asked James casually as they led the way through the castle.
"Nah, Honeydukes will be heaving at this time of day." Daniel said offhandedly. Sirius and James froze and turned to stare at him.
"How do you know about-" Sirius cut himself off, genuinely lost for words.
Daniel grinned. "Luna." He said, as if that was a valid explanation. Maybe it was, wherever he was from.
Daphne hid a snigger, desperate to tell James and Sirius that 'Daniel' had learnt of the witch through the Weasley twins and their own map, just to see the looks on their faces.
They found another route out of the grounds and headed up the first mountain they saw. It was a long trek, and Daphne was freezing by the end. The three boys seemed totally unbothered by the cold, laughing and joking like they'd known each other all their lives. It was quite heart-warming. Daphne snapped a picture of them for Harry to add to his photo album when they got home.
"Right then, skis!" Harry said brightly, pulling four pairs of skis out of his bottomless bag. "I love Hermione's charm work; it makes carrying things so much easier."
"She a friend of yours, this Hermione?" Sirius asked mildly, obviously trying to fish for information.
"Yeah, she's wicked clever." Harry said distractedly, trying to figure out how to put the skis on.
"Probably a Ravenclaw then." Sirius said, and Daphne held her breath.
"No, Gryffindor actually." Daniel clammed up, meeting Daphne's panicked gaze.
"I knew it!" Sirius cried triumphantly. "You aren't transfers at all! What are you, spies? Time Travellers?"
Daniel grinned. "Can't tell you, sorry. It's sort of life or death." Sirius deflated. He was so close to knowing the truth!
"Who even cares where they're from anymore?" James added. "They're demented and I love them! Now let's go skiing!"
Three hours later, four extremely injured students were carted into the hospital wing, limbs askew and covered in bumps and bruises.
"What on Earth-" Madame Pomfrey gasped. "Mr Radcliffe, how did you get a ski lodged into your thigh?"
"It was actually rather easy." Daniel admitted. "And so worth it, Lily Evans owes me twenty galleons!"
"She doesn't. The bet was a successful ski, not a failed one where you wind up injured." Daphne smirked.
Daniel scowled. "That settles it, I'm never taking you anywhere with me again. To be fair, I would've brought Neville, but he would have said no. He doesn't need the closure anymore."
"Neville?" James asked curiously. "What closure? And what sort of name is that?"
"I don't know, I'm not the one who named him!" Daniel fired back. "You'd have to ask A- er, his parents?"
"I KNEW IT!" Sirius screeched, then winced when it jostled his six broken ribs. It was a miracle he was still conscious and hadn't punctured a lung. "You are time travellers! Past of future?"
"For the last time, Sirius, we are not time travellers!" Daphne exclaimed. "You're delusional, it's probably the pain."
"But you just said-"
"You know, Madame Pomfrey." Daniel said once he was comfortably settled into his own bed in the hospital wing. The others had long since fallen asleep. "It seems like James and Sirius make your job quite tricky."
"And now I have two more miscreants to make it even trickier." Madame Pomfrey chastised the teen. He just smiled charmingly back.
"Don't worry, we'll be out of hair your before long. Places to be and all that."
"Graduation is still almost an entire year away, Mr Radcliffe."
"You know, you could just threaten to quit unless you a get pay rise." Daniel suggested. "It would probably work, you definitely don't get paid enough. It seems like you very much get taken advantage of."
"I do, don't I?" She said tiredly. Daniel smiled sympathetically.
"Don't worry." He said. "You'll toughen up."
Madame Pomfrey was oddly reassured, even if she did feel slightly patronized and insulted. She wasn't that soft.
~
"Morning Daniel, Dap- James, did you see that?" Sirius grabbed James' arm, shaking it roughly.
"Did they just-" Remus frowned.
"Poof!" Luna said as she skipped past them.
They never saw the three Ravenclaw students again.
~
"This is so funny." Harry said, grinning. "Because we literally only went back in time yesterday. Technically, if you had worked out who we were from the nickname game back before fifth year, you would've been mad at us whilst we remained clueless!"
"Like some strange twist of Fate." Susan said knowingly. Luna smiled.
"I still want an explanation as to why you called Trelawney and Sinistra, what was it? Slime-buckets, niffler-loving liars, and hags." Daphne reminded him. Harry winced.
"Harry! That's very rude!" Hermione scolded. "And those are appalling insults, by the way."
"I know it was rude, but it was very deserved." Harry held his hands up in defence. "And they were very creative insults thank you very much. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go and have some choice words with a certain hat."
Ron and Daphne blocked the door.
"Nope." Daphne said. "Sit down and spill your guts first. Then we'll go and destroy that piece of filth together!"
"I thought you loved Monty?" Neville asked incredulously. Harry and Daphne snarled.
"Not anymore." Harry said though gritted teeth.
"Well, pup!" Sirius said cheerfully. "You know where Monty is, don't you?"
Harry groaned. "Ravenclaw common room!" Sirius cackled.
"See you later kids. I'm pretty sure whatever Harry's annoyed with Sinistra and Trelawney about is something he doesn't want us to overhear. let's go, Moony!"
"Luna? Actually no, I'm not asking for permission. Those wicked old lemon-tarts deserve it." Harry nodded to himself. Luna just smiled. "I'll do the honours then, shall I Lady Time?"
"Lady what?" Ginny gasped. Harry ignored her and raised a brow at Luna.
"Can I?" He asked again. Luna nodded. "Awesome! So, it all started when when I was non-existent and Trelawney was a meddling fish-faced little -"
~
Harry: Sirius?
Sirius: Yes?
Harry: Don't you dare tell Snape I lost a bet against my mum.
Snape: (Slams door shut and points at Harry dramatically) AHA! Too late, Potter!
Harry:...Um, were you hiding behind that door the whole time?
Snape:.. obviously.