Hermione's Big Mistake
It was only a week into seventh year when Harry was called into the Headmistress' office for the sixth time that academic year. She sat primly in the chair behind the desk, observing Harry and Hermione with a small smirk. Hermione was grinning, pleased, and Harry?
Well, Harry was just a bit confused.
"So you're saying that me and Hermione-"
"Hermione and I." Hermione corrected.
"Fine, Hermione and I got high enough grades in our potions exams, despite the whole dying and coming back to life thing, to TA in potions?" Harry asked sceptically. He and Snape might get on alright now, but surely the Potions Master would hate this little development. Minerva smiled and nodded. "Snape is going to kill you, Headmistress." Unless..... no, Snape definitely wasn't as much of an adrenaline junkie as Harry was. No way.
"So you do remember my real name, Potter!" Harry jumped and turned in his chair to see Snape standing in the doorway.
"Oh, hello sir!" Harry waved. "Minnie wants me and Hermione to team up with you to teach potions. No idea why she thought of it just now and not on the first day back like she did with DADA last year." Harry said with a small frown.
Snape smirked at him. "I think you'll find, Mr Potter, that when you ask your friends to become a Dark Lord out of boredom, some of them tell a teacher."
"You snitch!" Harry pointed accusingly at Hermione.
"Harry, you said you were bored." Hermione said with an eye roll. "Not only did you threaten to become a dark lord, you also threatened to find a way to resurrect Bellatrix for, what did you call it? A 'nice little game of tag'-"
"Everyone else I asked said no!"
"-nd with so many people in the castle with the potential to inherit the Black family madness-"
"Excuse me?" Harry asked, hand on his chest. "Black family madness? I'm a Potter, I'll have you know."
Hermione rolled her eyes again. "Harry, your grandmother was a Black."
Harry stared at her. "How come you know that and I don't?"
"Because I have more common sense than you." Hermione said primly.
"Look Hermione, you're clever and all but there's no way you figured that out just from the single context clue of me being a little bit mad." Snape snorted.
"Understatement." He muttered under his breath. and Harry glared at him.
Hermione sighed. "Fine. Remember when I showed you your dad's quidditch award in first year?"
"Yes, what about it?"
"I found out he had one from a news article, in which his parents were named. Fleamont Potter and Dorea Potter nee Black. She was Sirius' father's second cousin or something, I checked the family tree in Grimmauld place."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Harry asked, looking very offended.
Hermione gave him an incredulous. "Harry, I've told you at least three times a year since we moved into Grimmauld!"
Harry paused. "No, you haven't."
"Yes, I have."
"No you haven't!"
"Yes I have!"
"No, you ha-"
"Children, please." Minerva said, holding up a hand. Hermione huffed at the insult. Harry grinned cheekily at her. "Potter, I can confirm Miss Granger has attempted to tell you this at least three times that I've witnessed myself."
"Oh." Hermione smirked at Harry, who huffed. "Well, not all Blacks are mad anyway. Andromeda and Draco are as normal as they come. Actually I take that back, You and Draco were both mental when it came to the muggle weapons. You were both out of your minds when you took Felix too. You were completely bonkers when it came to my potions textbook." Snape's eyes narrowed.
"It isn't about me, I'm not related to the Blacks."
"Yes, but even ignoring all of that my point still stands. Andromeda is totally normal and Draco is too, mostly."
"However, Sirius is a lunatic, Tonks is, well, Tonks, and Mrs Malfoy is always indulging your bad behaviour." Hermione pointed out.
"Because she loves me!"
"The Weasley's are also distantly related to the Black family and you know what the twins and Ginny are like. And Ron, to an extent."
"You're just sticking up for him because you're in loooveee!" Harry sang, poking her in the arm. Hermione blushed at the raised eyebrows from both her Professors.
"Whatever." She said, shaking her head. "The point is if you aren't kept busy, you and all the other crazy people in this castle will probably burn the school down. So, I asked Snape if our O+s in our sixth year exams would allow us both to TA in potions whilst you continue to TA in Defence."
"So basically, you're trying to turn me into a teacher's pet." Harry folded his arms. "It's working. I'm in!"
He looked at Snape, whose lip twitched. That confirmed Harry's earlier suspicions. Snape was just as bored as Harry was, without any wars or anything to kill time. He probably needed some entertainment too.
"So, we'll see you in your second year class tomorrow for a screaming session then?" Harry asked Snape, smiling innocently.
Snape inclined his head. "Indeed."
Hermione's face fell. "I've just enabled something I'm going to really regret, haven't I?" She asked Minerva miserably. Minerva smiled.
"Yes, dear. Good luck."
"Your initiation, Miss Granger, will be for you to teach the second years tomorrow." Snape said silkily. "I already know Mr Potter is capable of teaching. Farewell." Snape left, and Harry gave Hermione a sympathetic look.
"The second years are the worst." He warned her. "Like year eight girls in muggle secondary. So much drama, all the time!"
"How do you know what muggle secondary is like? We've never been there!"
"We haven't, but Dudley and Shannon have. Anyway good luck tomorrow, second years have been my least favourite class to teach since I started helping Snape last year. Night Minnie!" Harry skipped off, leaving a slightly frazzled Hermione behind.
"Have a biscuit, dear." Minerva said sympathetically. Hermione accepted and slumped in her chair.
~
Harry gasped loudly. "Oh no!"
"What now?" Hermione sighed exasperatedly. It hadn't been long since she and Harry had starting assisting Snape in Potions, but Harry was still somehow finding time to cause trouble.
Harry and Snape had a 'verbal dance war' at least once a week. They even duelled in the Great Hall on one very memorable Wednesday. It was pretty spectacular, even Dumbledore was impressed by the sheer power and elegance both wizards wielded their magic with. He cheered for both of them, waving his mop madly.
Why did Albus Dumbledore wave a mop, you ask? Well, after Amelia Bones fired him Filch retired, so Dumbledore was allowed to replace Filch as the new school caretaker - as long as his magical core was 95% bound so that he was barely able to use any magic whatsoever. It was that or Azkaban, so Dumbledore didn't kick up too much of a fuss.
Minerva, Snape, Narcissa and Sinistra all kept a very, very close eye on him, but so far he hadn't attempted anything.
Colin's pictures of the event made the front page of the Daily Prophet. They were in the Quibbler too, of course. And the Quabbler.
Snape also found out about the disappearance of his textbook. Hermione had made a copy before giving it back and Snape didn't even seem that annoyed...
Until he'd discovered the notes in red pen Hermione had added, either adding to or correcting Severus' own notes. She'd gotten her first ever detention and Harry had practically beamed with pride.
"Sprout's birthday! I completely forgot this year, I have to make it up to her! Daphne, Ginny, come with me." Harry grabbed both girls and dragged them away. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Professor Pink, we're baking today." Harry demanded as the three students burst into the potions classroom, Hermione following them reluctantly. "We have until lunchtime to make sure Professor Sprout's birthday is perfect!"
Snape just sighed. "Do what you must."
Once the second years arrived and were seated, Harry turned around to grin at them, wearing a bright green apron and holding a wooden spoon threateningly.
"The art of cake-making is a delicate procedure." He said, almost Snape-like in his seriousness.
The students saw a different side to TA Potter that day. Snappy, scary, and a complete perfectionist, he criticized their every move and added and removed people points every three seconds. Even Nott, who had been one of Harry's favourites the year before, got scolded at least twice.
The end result was many perfect cakes, all in different flavours. Daphne talked the students through making the perfect frosting whilst Ginny and Harry cut, assembled and yelled at the freshly baked cakes. Dobby and Kreacher were summoned to help, whilst Winky watched with wide eyes. Then the students were dismissed whilst Daphne returned to Harry and Ginny to help with the decoration.
Hermione and Snape shared a look and left. Hermione to go and read, Snape to find Minerva and a bottle of firewhiskey.
That lunchtime, the students and staff sang loudly as a cake the same size as a desk was wheeled into the room, shaped and decorated like a greenhouse. Daphne had cast a simple animation spell on the mandrakes, who squealed, and the venomous tentactula, who was preening in his pink polka dot icing dress.
The Hall was decorated in Hufflepuff colours and the singing was much more lively that year.
Pomona Sprout wondered what she had done to deserve all the love on her birthday every single year. She didn't remember sitting with Sirius all night in his first year when he had snuck out of Gryffindor common room, too afraid of his nightmares to go to sleep.
But Sirius did. It was why he'd told Harry to start the tradition all those years ago. So the big black dog, who the students knew was Sirius but had grown to love as Padfoot anyway, wagged his tail happily as he watched the celebrations.
"Who wants another best common room ever rematch?" Harry asked loudly after the party, he and Daphne eyeing the Hufflepuff banners.
"No one!" Someone yelled, and the other students chimed in with their agreement. Especially the Ravenclaws, the smug losers.
"Oh. Okay then."
Harry and Daphne, of course, left immediately to go and cry over ice cream. It really was an effective stress relief.