The Sandbox
Destination, Determination, Deliberation.
Draco is bloody good at hiding his emotions, but he isn’t that good, Harry thinks. From the distance he’d seen how oddly still Draco had gone, how his expressions and reactions were simply… off. However, rather expectedly, he would not share why, and Harry wasn’t going to waste time prying it out of him in public. However, he knew that something must have happened. Sundays were usually good. Now, though, the least he could do was attempt to cheer him up. And this, he figured, just might. Or distract him, at the very least.
Within seconds, they landed behind some bushes. Draco made a confused sound.
“Where are we?”
“A park. I just didn’t want to be spotted when we landed.” Harry guided them out from the shrubbery. Draco brushed off his clothing. Harry scanned his surroundings, and soon he spotted a bright blue head of hair. His smile hit him instantly, without his permission. Off to the side he could see Hermione, Ron, and Ginny, sitting at a park bench, watching Teddy and talking amongst themselves.
“Oh, no.” Draco began to tug himself away from Harry. “Why are Granger and two Weasley’s here? Why are we here with them?”
“They’re taking care of Teddy, today,” Harry pointed at his Godson who was sat in a sandbox, one arm hooked around his penguin and anchored by a thumb in his mouth, the other swiping at the sand. Harry felt his heart fill to just about bursting as he watched him.
“Harry...”
“You’ll see,” Harry insisted. “Teddy just, has a way. He’s the sweetest boy you’ll know. I thought maybe this could cheer you up.”
Harry chanced a look straight into Draco’s eyes, then. He was openly acknowledging that he notices Draco. And something about that felt like it needed eye contact. He watched Draco’s expression shift minutely at least a few times. Harry wondered what, precisely, was in his brain. He offered a smile, and Draco gave him a small, half-smile in return. He did not protest Harry as he took his hand and led him to the group.
The park was mostly empty, which surprised Harry, given that it was a Sunday. Ginny noticed them, first. She waved to Harry, shouting for him to join them, then did a double take at Draco, furrowed her brows, and turned to speak to Ron and Hermione, who turned in unison to see them. Harry dropped his hand from Draco’s, suddenly remembering that Hermione might have his head for it. After all, he is an Auror assigned to Draco’s protection, not-
“Mate, Malfoy, Taking a walk?” Ron stood, giving Harry a clap on the shoulder.
“Hey, Ron. Yeah, getting out for a moment,” Harry responded. He took a good look at Ron, probably, he realised, for the first time in a bit. He looked a bit paler than Harry remembered. Harry chastised himself for not following up with his best mate more often. Ron nodded to them both in awcknoledgement.
Then, Hermione spoke. “Oh, Harry. How is everything? It’s good of you to join us at the park this time. Teddy will be happy.”
“Hi, ‘mione. I’m fine. And, yeah, I am here to see Teddy.” Hermione had told Harry that she, Ron and Ginny do their exchanges of Teddy at the parks, because they found it was easier for him to make the transition than simply being dropped. Harry had known, he just never showed, between everything happening with Draco as well as it simply not being his day to be with Teddy.
“Hello, Malfoy” Hermione continued. She looked at him with a sense of apprehension. Harry supposes he doesn’t blame her, but part of him wishes he’d thought of the fact that Draco does not have a good history with anybody here, and that this isn’t as good of an idea as he’d hoped. “It’s good to see you out, too… Out and about.”
Draco’s expression stayed professional. Cordial. “Yes, Granger. Thank you.” Hermione’s eyes flitted downward, to the Bible that Draco had in his hands. She looked at Harry like she wanted to ask questions. Her glances bounced between them a few times before settling back on Harry. “Harry, why don’t you go see Teddy now. He’s-” Hermione’s gaze settled ahead of her before her eyes opened wide. “Oh, bugger, Teddy!”
Harry turned to see that Teddy was no longer at the sandbox. He straightened up alongside Hermione and Ginny, who were out of their seats at the park bench, when.
“Relax,” shouted Ron. “I saw him going to the slides and went with him. Bloody hell, it’s like you all think I don’t keep an eye out… I was the only one keeping an eye out.”
“Don’t curse in front of him, Ron,” scolded Hermione, sitting down with a huff and red cheeks.
“Why not?” Questioned Ginny. “ It’s not like he’ll say it back.”
“He very well could,” argued Hermione. She turned to Harry. “Please tell me you don’t also curse in front of him?”
“I, er, try not to?”
Hermione sighed, looking back towards Ron and Teddy. Teddy caught sight of Harry as he held Ron’s hand, walking toward the group. That much was evident, as his hair had promptly changed from a brilliant blue to jet-black and with a slight curl. Harry smiled brilliantly, feeling his heart swell.
“Draco, come on,” he urged, walking towards Teddy, his arms already coming out for a hug. “Hey, Ted!”
Harry lowered himself to Teddy’s eye level, holding his arms out for a hug, even though he knew Teddy didn’t always reciprocate. He hugged his godson close, not minding it one bit. “How are you? This is Draco. He’s your family.” Ron made a comment about going back to Ginny and Hermione at the park bench.
Draco gripped his newly loaned Bible tightly, clearing his throat as he lowered himself to Harry and Teddy’s level. “Hello, Teddy. I’m Draco. I do believe I am your cousin once removed.” Teddy was regarding Draco impassively, his thumb covered in saliva, his hair still Harry’s. Harry was still smiling like he’d seen the best thing, and well, he supposes he has, seeing as Teddy is right there, and Draco is meeting Teddy, and-
“I hear you like penguins,” Draco continued, awkward, but making an effort all the same. “You have a good Godfather, you know. He loves you quite a bit.”
“Let’s play, Ted. You want to play?” Harry stood, and Teddy held out the arm clutching his penguin rather oddly, not wanting to let go of it. Harry gently nudged for him to remove his thumb from his mouth so that he could hold that hand instead. Teddy mewled, but otherwise did as Harry motioned. Together, the three of them went to the sandbox.
Draco was, well, if Harry had ever forgotten that Draco was a prim-and-proper pureblooded wizard, this was his reminder, as he watched Draco very clearly hseitating to put his dress shoes into the sandbox, and likely even less excited about sitting down in it. Harry was fully sitting down in it cross-legged with Teddy at his side, who watched Draco with curiosity, his hair changing slowly to a platinum Malfoy-blond.
“Oi, Malfoy, The sand won’t bite” Ginny shouted from the rather short distance. Draco sneered, but remained otherwise silent. He fully stepped in, now, looking at Ginny with disdain. He sat down at the edge of the sandbox.
Harry turned back to Teddy, who had placed his penguin down between his legs and grabbed at a toy that spun when you put sand through it. He began grabbing fistfuls of sand and pouring it into the toy. Harry followed suit. As the sand fell through the spinning mechanism, sending sand everywhere, Teddy reared back with his eyes closed, smiling. He put more sand through the device, keeping his eyes open, giggling as he watched the sand fly out from underneath.
—-----
Draco could not believe that he was currently sitting at the edge of a sandbox with Harry Potter and Teddy Lupin. But, he’d be damned if he didn’t admit that there was something abou that little boy’s smile that was infectious. He watched as Harry and Teddy played with the sand together, putting it through a spinning mechanism and pushing it into piles and holes and paths. His chest, which has been wound up tightly since after Mass, was slowly loosening. Absently, he wondered if Teddy was going to treat the penguin toy he purchased the same way he sees him treating his current one. He’d have to see Teddy again soon, so that he can give it to him. Maybe at a park, like this. This is nice, peaceful. Good.
Watching Harry interact with Teddy was doing things to Draco, things that he wasn’t very familiar with. Harry was, well… He looked soft, in a way, and sweet, and everything about his actions was just screaming good. Harry is quite stupid for associating with Draco, he thinks, but even that makes Draco’s heart melt a bit.
“Remember that the confessional is always open should you or your… friend… wish to use it”
Harry and Teddy were using the penguin in their sand activities, now, and they did something, and Harry laughed, open and happy and very unlike what Draco is used to, and he looked at Draco and smiled, and Draco couldn’t help but to smile right back, because damn it, Harry is just perfect, isn’t he… He’s stupid and stubborn and awful at talking but he’s so bleeding good that he’s still just… perfect.
“If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination.”
Draco felt the bible in his hand, weighing something akin to 10 stone. He placed it onto his lap, glancing down at it, feeling the leather beneath his fingertips, seeing the engraved golden title as it shone in the light…
He glanced back at Harry, who was hugging Teddy, who was openly laughing and giggling and making sounds that wern’t quite words.
“-have committed an abomination”
Draco opened the Bible, flipping through, finding the book of Leviticus. He scanned. And scanned and scanned.
“if a soul swear, pronouncing with his lips to do evil, or to do good, whatsoever it be that a man shall pronounce with an oath, and it be hid from him; when he knoweth of it, then he shall be guilty”
No…
“Days of purifying…
Draco flipped ahead.
None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: father… mother… sister…wife’s daughter… mother’s sister…
He flipped slightly further ahead.
“If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.”
Draco stiffened, the words in front of him blurring as he stopped focusing. It wasn’t… exactly what father Thompson had said, but it was close enough.
Draco was brought back to awareness when Teddy’s penguin was on top of his bible page. The looked ahead and saw Teddy holding the penguin out to him with wide eyes. Draco gripped at the soft fur of the plush, feeling it between his fingers. He swallowed.
“...‘s a nice penguin. Thank you.” Teddy began to take it back almost as quickly, though. Draco let him. Then, Harry was hovering over him.
“You alright?”
Draco opened his mouth to answer, and Harry’s eyes made his stomach flutter. He promptly condemned himself. Really?! After what you’ve just read?!
Harry returned his focus to Teddy. “Hey, Ted, let’s go back to Ron and Hermione, now. It’s time to go. Draco, let’s.. Er, stay there. I’ll…”
Harry and Teddy were gone, then, and Draco was left with his bible open, a few pages off from when Teddy put the penguin on it, unintentionally flipping pages.
What ever happened to Matthew? The pure of heart?
After an undefined amount of time, Harry’s face was back in his view. “Let’s head back to the flat, now. Would you like that? Let’s go…”
And Jeremiah? Plans for a future and for hope?
They appeared back in the flat within seconds, and Draco stood as he absently watched Harry put up protection wards.
What about Romans? God works for the good of those who love him… I love him…
It doesn’t entirely shock Draco that, after everything, he simply isn’t good. He’s done so much bad. What’s one more thing? Draco was meant to be bad, hasn’t he? He was designed for it, raised for it, molded for it.
“Draco?”
“-they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.”
Why won’t God forgive him? Hasn’t he been bloody trying?! Draco just wants help. That’s all he wants. Why isn’t he getting enough help? He’ll accept any help. Anything. He just wants to live… Live and be good.
“I.. need to go lie down, I think.” He took a solid look at Harry, now. Harry’s gaze was piercing. His expression was confused… concerned.
“Your Godson is very sweet,” Draco tried. “Thank you for bringing me to meet him, but I-”
“Something happened at church…” Harry bit his lip. “What was it?”
“Remember that the confessional is always open should you or your… friend… wish to use it”
“If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.”
“they shall surely be put to death”
God’s Wrath was beyond right in choosing to go after Draco, of all of those he’s gone after.
Well, God is all-knowing, right? God must’ve known this was going to happen- knew Draco was going to mess up, again.
“I’ll be in my room,” Draco mumbled, turning from Harry. He yelped when he was, quite unexpectedly, being held at the wrist by Harry, who was keeping him there. Draco tugged.
“Harry, what are you doing?”
“Stop running away like that,” Harry began, noticeably irritated. “I bloody hate your bedroom at this point. You use it whenever you don’t want to talk about things. You expect that when you leave it in three days I just won’t ask you again… Draco, just- talk to me. Please…”
Draco froze. Harry was looking at him so fully and wholly that, insanely, Draco got the flickering urge to grab him wholly by the face and kiss him. Then he became sick at the idea.
God… why did you mess me up so horribly?
“It’s nothing-”
“That’s bollocks. Draco…” Harry took a breath, loosening his grip on Draco’s wrist. Draco let go. Harry sighed. “Have I done something?”
Yes.
“No, you… I just need to do some thinking.”
“On what? You look like you’ve seen ghosts since the service ended- And then you… what on earth did you read in the Bible? You went green, I swear it. I was worried you might sick up in the sandbox.”
“Harry-”
“Is it some bullshit about being bad? Is that what it is?”
“they shall surely be put to death”
“It’s not bullshit-”
“Oh, fuck off.”
The flat was silent. Harry was red with anger. He worked his jaw, took breaths. Draco took a step backwards.
“their blood shall be upon them.”
“Harry, I don’t think it’s good of us to be together.”
Harry swallowed audibly, his face doing something horrible that Draco just wanted to wipe away with his hands and smooth with a kiss- stop it.
“...What?”
“It’s not good.”
“Draco I.. we… talked about this. I don’t think you’re bad, or corrupting me by-”
“We can’t,” Draco spoke resolutely. This was the right thing to do. “Now, if you’ll leave me, I’ll be in my room.”
When Draco got to his room, door safely closed behind him, he swore the flat had darkened several shades. The world felt heavy. He could feel Harry staring daggers at the door. Draco felt sluggish. He wanted the world to swallow him up, take him away from his brain, from this world.
Instead, Draco fell face first onto his bed and slept.