"What The Actual Fuck?"

Severus rushed home immediately after getting back to Hogwarts. As soon as he got back he flooed to Lestrange Manor to talk to Bellatrix.

After he walked out of the fireplace he immediately rushed to Bellatrix’s room only to be stopped by Rodolphus.

“Hello Severus.” Rodolphus said, “Why are you rushing around my house?”

“I'm sorry for just bursting into your house but I have to talk to Bellatrix.” Severus said quickly, “I know that she is grieving and, if I could, I would tell you but I was ordered to tell Bellatrix first. I will tell you immediately after.”

“Okay.” Rodolphus dragged out, “That sounds really weird but you can talk to her but you have to tell me about what the actual fuck is going on.”

“Thank you.” Severus said. “And I will.”

Severus continued to rush to Bellatrix’s room, trying to get there as soon as possible. In less than 5 minutes he was outside Bellatrix’s room. Taking a deep breath he knocked on the door.

“Go away Rod.” Bellatrix said from the room.

“It's Severus,” Severus said, “I have important information.”

“Tell Rodolphus,” Bellatrix fired back, “I dont care.”

Severus ignored her and just blurted out “I found The Dark Lord.”

The door opened. Severus saw a sleep deprived grief stricken woman.

“What.” Bellatrix all but whispered “You better not be lying.”

“I'm not.” Severus stated, “He is at Potter Manor. I was told to immediately tell you. He wants to meet with you at Diagon alley next Wednesday. He is fine and unharmed. He said that he would meet with you earlier but he doesn't trust the Potters with one of their children.” Bellatrix was about to interrupt but Severus put his hand up to stop. “On Halloween the Potters were going to send their child, Harry, to Lily's sister, Petunia. She is despicable and would have abused Harry and made sure he hated all muggles as a result. When The Dark Lord heard this he decided to stay so that the child wouldn't turn out like him. He will explain this more if you meet him next Wednesday.”

“Did he even care about me and Nagini?” Bellatrix asked teary eyed.

“It was the first thing he asked then when he found out how you were doing and what happened to Nagini he ordered me out and I think he had a breakdown. When he came back he immediately made a plan to see you. I don't know about a plan to find Nagini but he most likely wants to discuss it with you.” Severus explained.

“Does anyone else know Tom is alive?” Bellatrix asked.

“I'm guessing by Tom you mean the Dark Lord.” Severus said, “Dumbledore suspects that the Dark Lord is alive but he doesn't know that the Dark Lord is in Potter Manor. Harry (the Potter child that the Dark Lord seemingly adopted) knows that the Dark Lord is at Potter Manor but no one told him, he was just able to see the Dark Lord for some reason. I know because I saw him. You are the only other person that knows he is alive. He told me to tell you immediately. Rodolphus wants to know why I'm here so he will when I leave.”

“Okay i'll go.” Bellatrix said.

“Thank you” Severus said “I'm going to go tell Rodolphus. See you next Wednesday”

“Goodbye Severus” Bellatrix said “Thank you.”

Severus walked out of the room with a slight smile on his face. Rodolphus stood outside with his arms crossed.

“Explain.” Rodolphus said sternly, “Now.”

Severus took a deep breath. “The Dark Lord is alive.”

“What?” Rodolphus said.

“The Dark Lord is alive.”

“I heard you the first time. But how? Where?” Rodolphus asked.

“Bellatrix can explain”

____________________________________

Voldemort was pacing back and forth.

“Oh Merlin. Oh Merlin. Oh Merlin.” Voldemort repeated.

He had been like this for the past half an hour. He was terrified. He had to 1) go outside 2) deal with people and 3) Talk to his angry partner.

“Harry, do you think that I should wear a dress or ‘normal’ guy clothes?” Voldemrt asked the child.

Harry tilted his head to the side, confused.

“Want pictures to help.” Voldemort asked.

Harry nodded.

Voldemort walked over to the bookshelf in Harry’s room, picked up a picture story book, with his magic, and turned to a page with characters in dresses and trousers.

Voldemort knelt down ”this is a dress,” He said pointing to the character in a dress, “and this is ‘normal’ clothes. So what should I wear, dress or ‘normal’.”

Harry pointed at the dress “Pretty,” Harry said.

“Thank you. Okay, another question: what colour should I wear.”

Harry toddled over to his bookshelf and took his picture dictionary. He flicked to the page for colours. A good couple dozen colours were on the page. Harry points at 3 colours: a deep purple, a dark silver and a charcoal black.

“Thank you,”

Voldemort waved his hand over his body and turned his clothes and turned it into a purple fit and flare dress with a black belt. He also had a black cardigan, black knee high socks and silver jewellery on.

“This good?” Voldemort asked.

Harry turned his head concentrated then turned to a page with a crown on it. Harry pointed at it then at the silver ring Voldemort was wearing then Harry appointed at the gem in the crown and at Voldemort's dress.

“You want me to add a crown with a purple gem” Voldemort asked sceptically, Harry nodded. Voldemort added the crown. “I guess this is what I get for getting a 16 month old to dress me.”

Harry beamed up at Voldemort.

“You know what I may look like an idiot but it's worth it.” Voldemort said. “What would you like to wear?”

Harry smiled and went back to his picture books. He looked through the book and pointed at a picture of a bat then flipped to a page showing a onesie.

“You want to wear a bat onesie.” Voldemort asked.

Harry nodded.

Voldemort quickly walked over to Bryans room, took a useless toy, walked back to Harry's room and transfigured the toy into a bat onesie. Voldemort placed the onesie down.

“Would you be able to put that on,” Voldemort asked.

Harry looked confused.

“Ok when-” Voldemort started.

“HARRY COME DOWN NOW, SEVERUS IS HERE!!” Lily yelled.

“Oi I was talking.” Voldemort yelled,“Come on Harry. Let’s go see Severus.” Voldemort said softly.

Harry put his arms up and made grabby hands.

“I don't know if i can pick you up.”

Harry pouted and still had grabby hands.

“Ok then sorry if it doesn't work.” Voldemort said.

He powered up his magic and tried to pick up Harry. Miraculously, it worked, Harry was picked up. Harry was the same pale blue as Voldemort.

Harry was smiling brightly.

“Ok my little one, wanna see if i can put you in the onesie?”

Harry enthusiastically nodded.

After 5 minutes of Voldemort figuring out how to dress a baby, Harry was wearing his onesie.

Voldemort smiled “Let's go see Severus,”

Quickly, Voldemort walked downstairs and went to the living room. The living room was as large as a small house. There was a fireplace opposite the door with lots of golden statues on top. On the burgundy walls there were lots of portraits and pictures of Lily, James and Bryan -there were a few pictures with Harry but they were few and far between. The floor was a dark wood covered in rugs in different shades of red. The curtains on the window were a bright red with gold accents. All in all it was very gryffindor.

“I will never get over the obnoxiousness of this room,” Voldemort said.

Severus snapped his head to the door.

“Yeah, I can pick up the child.” Voldemort said lifting Harry up a little, “Just found this out,”

Lily, James and Bryan were standing near the fireplace. Lily had her hair tied up in a messy bun. She was wearing a red blouse, a pair of jeans and black heels. James had his usual bird's nest hairstyle. He was wearing a muggle shirt and a pair of light jeans. Bryan had a lion shaped dummy and was wearing a lion onesie being held by Lily. Severus was no different than usual. Black cloak, black trousers, black shoes. The only difference was that his hair was tied up.

Lily looked pissed.

“Where is that boy?” Lily said. “HARRY GET DOWN HERE NOW!!!”

Voldemort looked very upset about the yelling then smirked.

“Harry i'm going to place you down in front of Lily, could you please look up at her and say ‘hello’.” Voldemort said softly to Harry.

Harry nodded.

Voldemort placed Harry down. Harry stood in front of Lily, looked up, tilted his head and said “Hello.”

“Ahh!” Lily exclaimed she looked down angrily. “What do you think you are doing! And what are you wearing!”

Severus stepped in front of Harry on impulse. “Lily, you yelled for him to come downstairs and he did. Don't yell at him for that.”

Lily looked peeved but said nothing.

“Snivellus! Don’t tell Lily how to parent our child!” James yelled.

Harry started shaking then burst out in tears trying to grab Voldemort.

“Little one,” Voldemort started softly, ”I know you would like to have cuddles but I can't right now. Severus could though.”

Harry sniffled and hugged Severus' leg. Severus leaned down and picked up his godson.

“Well your parenting led your son to bawl his eyes out.” Severus said.

Just before a full blown argument took place the floo activated and Dumbledore walked out.

“Good morning everyone, are you all ready to leave?” Dumledore asked..

Lily and James nodded and Severus reluctantly said “Yes I guess.”

“Now, Severus my boy, could you give Harry to James..” Dumbledore said.

Harry clung tighter onto Severus.

“Don't give Harry to those people!!” Voldemort yelled.

“I don't think Harry wants to.” Severus said, also holding onto Harry tighter.

“They are Harry’s parents, of course he wants to be held by them.” Dumbledore said in a disappointed tone.

“Don't do it.” Voldemort said, “Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Don't do it”

“Sorry.” Severus said quietly as he handed Harry to a very smug James.

Harry immediately started crying and was quickly handed back over to a very smug Severus.

“Umm.” Dumbledore started, “Severus, you can take Harry.”

Harry cuddled closer to Severus. “I thought so.” Severus said.

“Let's go,” James said as he walked towards the floo.

Everyone nodded and flooed to Diagon Alley. Upon Voldemort entering he was a panicky Severus, a crying Harry, some beaming Potters and a shit ton of people gathered around the fire.

“Severus, come on I will lead you and Harry out of here.” Voldemort said quickly.

Severus quickly nodded and followed the spirit through the crowd. Outside the crowd was a very proud Dumbledore.

“Hello Severus.” Dumbldore said, “The interviews don't officially start for an hour so you and Harry can wander around the alley”

Severus nodded.

Meanwhile with Voldemort he was panicking the fuck out beacause in the corner he spotted a very grumpy looking Bellatrix. She looked him dead in the eyes then pointed to the entrance of the alley.

“Severus, we have to go,” Voldemort said.

“Papa” Harry said, holding his arms out for Voldemort.

“In a little bit, little sun.” Voldemort said to the child.

“Ok My Lord” Severus muttered.

Voldemort and Severus followed around the woman until she stopped suddenly in a dark alleyway.

“Explain Tom. Now,” Bellatrix said.

“I'm sure that Severus explained the gist of it but I will to explain again” Tom said*1, “It started when I tried to kill Harry then–”

“Wait, it was Harry you tried to kill?” Severus exclaimed.

“Yes, doesn't everyone know this,” Tom said.

“Dumbldore and the Potters have been telling everyone it was Bryan.” Severus said.

“What!!” Tom yelled, “No, I tried killing Harry. He had pretty eyes.”

“Tom, darling, get back on topic.” Bellatrix reminded.

“Oh right so after I tried to kill Harry” Tom emphasised, “The killing curse backfired and after the first fear and shock of, you know, your soul leaving your body I realised I was this thing, I later realised I was a spirit. Then, as I was coming to terms with the fact that a baby killed me, your cousin, Sirius, walked in and walked through me!” Tom yelled at the end dramatically, “I'm still upset about that. Anyway right I was coming to terms with that I heard a giggle–”

Harry, at that moment, decided to giggle.

“Yes you!” Tom exclaimed dramatically, “So then me and Harry had a riveting discussion on why he should not laugh at me. Next I had a nosy at around the nursery and overheard Dumbldore saying that he was going to send Harry to live with Lily’s muggle sister who is abusive so naturally I threw a fit and so did Lily Potter. Lily was able to convince James*2 to not send his son to live with abusers and I was about to leave when I heard Dumbledore say something about sending Harry to live with that muggle (I didn't hear all of it because I remembered I left you and Nagi all alone). So I stayed because I didn't want the child to be raised like I was.” Tom finished, “I know that it won't mean anything to you but I am tremendously sorry. I really am. If I knew what would have happened I would have kidnapped Harry and come right back to you. You and Nagi should have been my top priority, not a child prophesied to kill me. I’m new to relationships, especially like ours, and I know that I'm just making excuses and this is none of yours or Naginis fault. All the blame is on me. I just hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me or even just give me another chance.” By the end Tom had tears falling.

“Oh Tom,” Bellatrix said softly, “I completely understand why you stayed with Harry. I'm not happy that you left me and Nagini but I understand why you did, leaving would go against your morals. You also had no idea how me or Nagi would have reacted and while I would have preferred you to have tried to contact us you were figuring things out with yourself. I also want to reiterate that it is not your fault for mine or Nagi’s reaction. I will give you a second chance and as many afterward as you need, as you said you are new to this and you seem genuinely sorry.” Bellatrix smiled, “You also look great.”

Tom smiled, “Thank you,”

“Papa?” Harry said.

“Yes my little sun,” Tom answered, turning to Harry.

“Who dis*3?” Harry asked, pointing at Bellatrix.

“This is my girlfriend, Bellatrix,“ Tom explained to the child.

Harry tilted his head “Mama?” Harry asked, pointing at Bellatrix.

“Sure little one,” Bellatrix said with a smile, “I’m your Mama”

“MAMA!” Harry yelled as he ran and hugged Bellatrix's leg.

Sevrerus coughed “As lovely as this is,” Severus looked down at his watch, “It is nearly time to go to the press conference.”

“Ok,” Bellatrix said, “Tom, what do you want to do about Nagini?”

“Do- do you know where she went?” Tom asked as he picked up Harry.

“All I know is that she went looking for you.” Bellatrix said, “She went to Albania, I think, because you said it was one of your favourite countries.”

“Would you be able to come with me to find her?” Tom asked, “I will only be able to go if Severus can watch over Harry as I don't trust the Potters with Harry.”

“I understand.” Bellatrix said, though a little upset.

“I will most likely be able to watch over Harry at any time” Severus said.

“Thank you Severus,” Tom said, “I don’t trust anyone with Harry.”

Severus smiled then said “We should probably head over to Leaky.”

Tom smiled and was about to leave when Bellatrix ran over.

“Tom!” Bellatrix exclaimed, “make yourself corporal,”

Tom made himself glowy and his chin was grabbed and kissed. Tom just stood there flustered.

“Goodbye Love,” Bellatrix said with a smile “See you soon.”

Tom smiled, “See you soon,” Tom leaned down and said to Harry, “Say goodbye to mama.”

“Bye mama!” Harry exclaimed waving at Bellatrix

“Bye, little one.” Bellatrix said.

Tom and Severus walked over to Leaky and in a secluded alleyway close to Leaky and Tom placed Harry down. Severus, Tom and Harry proceed to walk (or in Harry's case run, followed by a frantic Tom.)

“Ah Severus, my boy, we were just about to go looking for you.” Dumbledore said, walking over to the trio. “The press conference is about to start.”

Severus walked over to a long table.

“Harry” Lily said in a sickly sweet voice “Come sit next to mummy.”

Harry looked around then turned his head to Tom “Mama here?”

“Harry!” Lily yelled then quickly calmed down, “Your mummy is here?”

Harry looked around “ air?*4”

“Harry!” James yelled, “That is your mother!”

“NO!” Harry yelled. “NOT MAMA!”

Severus quickly crouched down in front of Harry, “Harry it's not nice to yell at people.”

“Not mama.” Harry started crying by now. “Not mama. Not mama.”

“I know that,” Severus whispered, “But it's not nice to yell. Why don't you sit next to Lily.”

“Sit wi’ you*5” Harry asked.

“Potter.” Severus said “Would I be able to sit with Harry on my lap.”

“Why” James said snarkily “Want to perve on my son,”

“Your son is sitting on your lap.” Severus stated, “are you perving on your son.”

“HOW DARE YOU!!!” James screamed.

“James stop screaming at Severus.” Lily said desperately, “You're making a scene. Just let Severus sit with Harry.”

Severus sat down, he placed Harry on his lap and Harry looked smug as could be.

“You happy gremlin?” Severus asked.

Harry nodded quickly.

After around 5 minutes a crowd had well crowded together and a couple minutes after that the reporters started the interviews.

“Who is this with your other son?” a reporter asked

Before anyone could answer Harry yelled “Uncle Sev’us!!6*”

“It’s Harry’s godfather.” Lily explained.

After that Harry zoned out and didn't pay attention until Severus got his attention.

“Harry” Harry curiously moved his head up to face Severus “The reporteres had a question.”

Harry turned his head to the reporters then turned his head to the side.

“Ah. Harry I heard about a commotion earlier about you not calling Lily Potter your mother. Why is that?” Rita Skeeter asked.

“I don't see how that is -” Lily started, then Harry cut her off.

“She's not mama.” Harry said defiantly.

“Does that mean that James had an affair with another woman?” Skeeter asked with a smile.

“Who James?*7” Harry asked.

“James is your dad.” Skeeter said

Harry turned and looked at Tom. “You James?*8”

Tom shook his head.

“Not papa,*8” Harry stated.

“If James and Lily are not your parents who are?” Skeeter asked “also who were you talking to just then?”

“Mama and Papa my parents,” Harry said “I was talkin’ to Papa.*9”

“Who was your father?” Skeeter said, looking around.

Harry pointed to Tom but no one could tell who he was pointing to.

“Could you describe your father?” Skeeter said.

“He is wearin’ a p-p- purpl’ dress an’ a cwon*10” Harry explained.

“A person by that description isn’t here Harry.” Skeeter said.

“No one but me and mama and some others can see and hear him” Harry explained with a smile “‘ello Papa.”

After that he stopped paying attention until it was time to go home. As soon as they got home, Harry and Tom rushed to Harry’s room and went to sleep.

The next day, Tom was downstairs was watching over Harry when he saw a copy of the prophet

‘SECOND POTTER CHILD INSANE!!’

Tom was pissed.