Say Goodbye to your Heart: A Cat!Draco Compilation

"Alright, you're going to need to swallow your pride," Theo coached. 

Draco scoffed. 

"I'm serious. You are a very proud Wizard. And so is Granger. Consider it from her perspective. You spent the better half of a year pretending to be her familiar. You slept in her bed. You saw her at her most vulnerable. I'm gonna assume you saw her naked—"

Draco opened his mouth to protest, but stopped short. 

"Exactly. None of this was consensual. So it's gonna take a little bit more than flowers. But flowers don't hurt. Lucky for you. You have me. I am well-versed in the way of Witches." Theo smirked, sipping obnoxiously loud on his whiskey. 

He rolled his eyes before transforming into his Animagus form. 

"First thing ..."

"Take this," Theo said, handing him a bowtie. 

Cat!Draco reached for the piece of fabric, but Theo kept playing 'Keep Away' with the bowtie until Cat!Draco hissed and smacked him.

[Video: Cat!Draco smacks Theo]

Theo flinched, rubbing the red scratch lines on the back of his hand. "Fine. I deserved that. Now the first rule of getting a Witch to forgive you is to show them how hot you are, so they want you back in their life. So dress sharp."

Cat!Draco sneered, snatching the piece of fabric from his friend and fussing with it in his mouth. "Please. I'm gorgeous," he said with a muffled sound. 

Theo knelt down to help fix Cat!Draco's tie. 

[Image: A white and grey cat wears a snazzy bowtie.]

"Next, practice your earnest look." 

"Like this?" 

"No, you're not trying to plot her death. Widen your eyes. Puff out your cheeks. Try 'worrying' your lower lip."

"What the f—" Draco tilted his head, clearly annoyed.

Theo waved his hand dismissively at him. "It's in my V.C. Andrews books, okay? I know what I'm talking about. Try again."  

[Image: A white and grey cat with big eyes looks up, two cartoon hearts on its nose. Implied: Cat!Draco practicing his 'sorry' face.]

ROAR!

The hearth in Nott Manor's drawing room roared to life, and Neville stepped out, dusting off his robes. 

Theo rushed over to give Neville a quick peck on the lips. "You talk to Granger?"

Neville clicked his teeth. "Uhhh ... about that. She doesn't want to see you." 

Draco immediately looked crestfallen. "Does she know I'm sorry? That I would never do anything to hurt her?"

Neville nodded. "She said you already did. That you had so many opportunities to tell her. She thinks you did it for shites and giggles."

"But I didn't! I just didn't know how to tell her. I didn't want to lose her. I would never make fun of her. I lo—" He pulled back too late. 

Theo's expression was smug, even as he swayed drunkenly on his feet. Neville's mouth dropped open. 

"Oh shut that thing, Large Bottom," Cat!Draco meowed. 

While Neville couldn’t quite understand his meows, Theo could.

"Hey—hic—don't talk to my—hic—my boyfriend like that," Theo slurred.

Both Neville and cat!Draco jerked their head toward him. 

"We have—haven't discussed that," Neville stuttered. 

"Oh, forget it then." A deep red spread across Theo's pale face. He knocked back another finger of fire whiskey, retreating behind the bar. 

"No, no. I just thought we would talk about it first," Neville said quietly. He approached Theo slowly, like a scared animal, and tried to take his tumbler out of his hand. Theo crumpled his brows together, stepping backwards, keeping the glass away from him. His back pushed against the counter. "Hush, you. You don't need that. I like you ... A lot, okay?" Neville pressed his forehead onto Theo's, whispering sweet nothings to him. 

Theo closed his eyes, relishing in Neville's warmth against him. 

Cat!Draco paced the drawing room, yowling. "Hello?! I thought this was about me! Me! Me and Granger!" 

[Image: A white cat sneers. Implied: Cat!Draco is upset at not being the centre of attention.]

The boys' faces soured, turning toward the dramatic Cat!wizard, their cheeks still grazing one another's.

"Alright then, I guess it's my move." Theo stole one more kiss from Neville.

"No! Listen to Hermione. She just needs time. That's the problem with you two. You always think you know better." Neville grabbed his boyfriend's arm. 

"Ahem!" Nott Sr. cleared his throat, the dark-eyed man hobbling into the room, weighing down the mood. After years in Azkaban, Senior needed the help of a cane now for mobility, like Lucius. His dry voice cracked. "Did I hear correctly? That Draco has fallen for a Mudblood? What an embarrass—"

Before their eyes, Theo shrunk and shifted into his Animagus form, leaving his bespoke clothes in a puddle on the floor.

"Theodore! What's the meaning of this?!" Senior tried to make a grab for the cat. But Cat!Theo was nimble and lithe.

He circled around his Father's ankles with his long tail, tripping him for extra insult. Senior fell on his arse, howling in pain and rubbing his coccyx.

Cat!Draco immediately returned to human form. While Neville and Draco helped him to his feet, Theo used the temporary distraction to climb out the window and Apparate to Hermione's place.

Because fuck him.