Say Goodbye to your Heart: A Cat!Draco Compilation

Theo climbed up the pipe on the side of Hermione's flat. He huffed and puffed, but was grateful it was on the ground floor, and he only had to climb up one floor. 

Hermione, sallow and red-eyed, looked out the window at the loud commotion, screaming at the black cat to get away. Her shrieks scared Theo, who then lost his footing.

SPLAT!

But he was determined to get Hermione to listen to him.

Cat!Theo scratched at the door until her heavy footsteps made their way to the foyer. The door creaked open. They stared at one another for a moment. Then Cat!Theo turned around and wriggled his cat!arse, kneading the Welcome mat, before transforming into human form. For modesty's sake (but Theo could not care less), he wrapped the mat around his waist.

Hermione's jaw dropped open at the naked Wizard standing before her.

Theo leaned suavely on the side jamb, his furry eyebrows arching. "I don't have all day, Granger. If you still want to stare at Theo Jr. afterward, I'll give you the grand tour." 

Hermione's pupils blew wide and she blushed. She was so stricken that she stepped aside without saying another word. 

He brushed past her. "Be a dear and put on the kettle." 

She frowned before getting a towel for the chair and a bathrobe for him. 

After making tea and placing a towel on the chair in which Theo sat, she sat across from him at the dinner table, lips pursed. 

Hermione found it difficult to stay mad at Theo, especially when he was wearing a too-small, fuzzy, pink bathrobe. "So you're an Animagus too?", she sneered. "You and Malfoy must have had a grand old time, making fun of me. The spinster Witch who got too attached to her missing cat. Wasn't this enough? Why did you have to take it to real life? Infiltrate my work at the Ministry? Was my personal mortification not enough? Did you need Neville to know too?"

Theo leaned forward. "Salazar's nut sack! Stop. Do you even listen to yourself? The amount of assumptions in your monologue? You're not the main character in everyone's world." 

Hermione leaned back, crossing her arms. "Close your legs. Theo Jr. is making a small appearance." 

Theo rearranged himself under the terrycloth. "Better? ... And it's a feature appearance. Ask Longbottom." 

She wrinkled her nose.

"Draco's sorry, y'know? He never meant to—he cares about you. A lot. A lot a lot." 

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Malfoy didn't even apologize. He just transformed in front of me, and expected me to—what?"

"What would have been the preferred way, Golden Girl? Is real life like a romance novel? Should he have gotten a carriage and balloons, coming out in cat!form?" 

She snorted. "I don't know. Anything better than what he did. Perhaps telling me in person? Like an adult. A letter? A Floo call? But shifting in front of me? I could hardly be blamed for being shocked."

"You remember Draco from the Hogwarts days, right?"

"Unfortunately," she sniffed.

"Was there a time when he didn't put his foot in his mouth? He's not exactly smooth." 

"I beg to differ." 

Theo gave her a smug smile. 

Hermione let out an exasperated sigh. "You know what I mean." 

"Okay. Okay. He's not smooth around you, alright? Never has been. I will have you know that it was never his intention to hurt you. It was a freak accident that you adopted him. Draco was collected by the Humane Society of Magical Creatures after he was prowling Diagon Alley in cat!form. They had some sort of unbreakable spell on his cage, so he couldn't transform." 

"Yes, I've used the charm before," she said cryptically. "Notwithstanding how you two came to be Animagi—I assume you're both not registered."

He waved at her face dismissively. "That's neither here nor there. Before he knew it, he was your familiar. The past year has been the happiest I've ever seen him. I had to force him to come back—take care of our business, be a proper human—even though he knew the consequences of staying in Animagus form for too long."

"What are the consequences?"

"Never you mind. He never wanted to leave your side, even if meant he was a shite friend, business partner, and son."

"That's called lack of boundaries." Even as Hermione said the harsh words, her face visibly softened, but then crumpled her brows, shaking her hand. "That doesn't excuse his behaviour. He listened to me cry and sing and tell him my deepest secrets. He saw me at my most vulnerable—having panic attacks and nightmares. We slept in the same bed. For gods' sakes, he saw me naked! Like you said, he had a year to tell me." 

"It's not like you two had the best history," Theo responded curtly. 

"I don't appreciate this, Theo. This gaslighting. You’re diminishing my experiences and feelings. Whatever it is you think you're doing, speaking on Malfoy's behalf ... where is he, if he's so sorry?"

"Draco's afraid."

"Of me? I'm the one who should be afraid. The kind of deceit that he's capable of. Did you just want to soften me up because of my Ministry connections?"

"Are you dense, Witch? What possible advantage would running away the day before your proposal give?"

"Maybe you wanted to sour the deal once your Fathers were released and the business proposition went pubic. Not be associated with Mudbloods and enemies of Voldemort. Probably gives you a shitty reputation amongst the Sacred 28 circles."

"Then it would follow that we would do it after we fulfilled the contracts. What would it do to our reputation on either side if we didn’t fulfill the terms? You think Shacklebolt would just let it go? You think our parents would get suspiciously locked up again on a technicality if we didn’t deliver the potions? You know him. He’s just as cutthroat in a bureaucratic way.”

Hermione wanted to disagree but couldn’t.

Theo added, “For your information, we have not run in those social groups for almost 10 years now."

Hermione was silent for a few beats after that. Theo sipped on his tea loudly while she was lost in her thoughts. She glared at his flubbering lips.  

"If he apologizes, you'll forgive him?", Theo asked in between sips.

"That's not what I said," she clipped. "He shouldn't need you to do it for him." 

"But if he does—"

"I don't know! Malfoy has yet to show me anything but the worst parts of himself. I need to question why that is, even if he entered our relationship through happenstance and bad luck."

"Relationship? Why Granger, I never took you for being so adventurous—"

"You know what I mean!" 

Theo was already getting up. "Thank you for the tea. Before I leave, I'm going to tell you one thing. Draco has never been as happy as he's been with you. And there wasn't even any sex involved ... unless ..." Hermione shot him a death glare. "Anyway, and I've never seen him as miserable as he's been without you these few months. That's including taking the Mark, years of probation, having Narcissa die earlier than she should have, and Lucius being in Azkaban. So I'm not saying you need to forgive him now or ever. But think about it. That's all I ask. I shall show myself out." He strutted toward the door, opening the pink, fluffy robe dramatically and stepping out of it. The fabric fluttered to the ground, his trim buttocks bouncing up and down as he walked away. 

Hermione covered her eyes, trying to pick up the terrycloth blindly. "Theo! Theo! You can keep the robe!"

"No need, Granger." He winked at her once more before muttering an unknown incantation.

His naked body shimmered and shifted and shrunk into a magnificent black cat, perfectly enveloped by a dollop of sunlight on her kitchen parquet floor.

[Image: A grey cat sits in the streamed in sunlight from a window. Implied: Cat!Theo = Jesus Cat.]

[Image: A black cat has a mane like a fur coat. Implied: Cat!Theo looking magnificent.]

Cat!Theo purred, then wound himself around Hermione's legs before heading out the door, leaving her speechless. 

He jumped up and slunk through the side fence with grace.