Chapter 1
Sirius POV:
Sirius sat alone on the train ride from hogwarts. It was summer vacation, so obviously he was going home. No. Home was not the right word. It never would be the right world to describe the dark, cramped, eerie halls of number 12 grimmauld place. Sirius shuddered just thinking about it. he usually was upset about returning home for the summer, whining to his friends about how boring it was. Always afraid of revealing the truth to them.
His friends… his mind flooded with guilt. It had hardly been a month since he betrayed them. It wasn’t intentional. That bastard snivillus had snuck veritaserum into his drink. But all the same he had told him, and now his friends hated him.
He hated himself as well. He had hurt the people he loved most. The marauders. His true family. He couldn’t stand to look any of them in the eyes after what he had done.
“Why?”
Sirius shuddered at the memory. James had told moon- Remus what he had done and the only thing he said was why. How could a single word carry so much pain? Sirius could hear all the sadness and betrayal in remus’ voice. He couldn’t bare to see the hurt too. The hurt that he had caused in the boy he was in love with.
James’ words echoed in his mind as well. His best friends eyes had filled with anger and betrayal, two emotions that were Foreign coming from James. Sirius had felt all the trust and joy in their relationship slip away as James spat at him: “we were wrong to give you a chance. At the end of the day you’re no better than the rest of your miserable family. You’ll always be a Black.”
Tears caused Sirius’ vision to go blurry, and he choked back a sob. The train abruptly stopped. He frantically wiped his tears away and stood, sighing. ‘ better get this over with’.
Almost immediately after stepping off the train he felt a hand grab his shoulder. His mother’s claws stabbed into him sending little waves of unpleasantness down his arm. He turned his face to look at the monster who gave birth to him. “ hello mother” he said, the corners of his mouth slightly upturned.
She didn’t even bother to respond out loud, shooting daggers at him with her eyes. She pulled him through the crowd and over to a secluded corner where they waited for his brother. It wasn’t long before regulus joined them. Walburga grabbed onto them both, then there was a sharp crack as his mother apparated, and just like that they were standing at the door step to Sirius’ place of nightmares.
12 grimmauld place was just as dark as he remembered. His mother ushered him quickly through the door way. He gazed at the walls and felt nausea rolling over him as the memories of previous summers cam flooding back. The edges of his mouth quirked up and he turned to face his mother.
“Did ya’ miss me mumsy” he said cheekily, gazing at the dark green walls. “You know you should really change the wallpaper. I think red would look so much better, don’t you?”
He watched as his mother’s eyes flooded with fury. He smiled a bit. He had struck a nerve. A small movement to his right caught his eye. ‘Shit’. Regulus was still there, looking at the scene Sirius had caused with wide, terrified eyes.
Sirius felt dread settle in the pit of his stomach. ‘ Reggie shouldn’t see this’. He was too late.
“Crucio.”
A blinding light flew from his mother’s wand and hit him in the chest. He collapsed on the ground. The pain clouded all his other senses as his body seized and his mouth was contorted in a silent scream. It seemed like an eternity before it stopped, and Walburga looked down at him with disdain before speaking.
“It would do you well to learn how to hold your tongue you filthy blood traitor.”
She stepped over his body and left him there at the entry way shaking with pain. Regulus ran to his side, helping him to stand. Reggie practically carried Sirius up the stairs. He laid his, now unconscious, brother down on his bed and watched his chest as it moved with each shaky breath that Sirius took. Regulus noted the twisted look of pain on Siri’s face. He sighed. It was going to be a long summer.