Snitches get Stitches

Fiona was sweating through her makeup.

She sat in the waiting area outside the principal’s office for the middle school and just kept watching her siblings and praying that they would all go home with her after the meeting.

Fiona had done everything - even tried to call Monica - to get a parent to show up. Frank was, as usual, a complete disappointment. He refused to show up, Monica couldn’t be found… Fiona was all kids had and in the eyes of law, it wasn’t enough.

It wasn’t the first time Fiona risked losing her siblings to foster care, but it was always a fucking nightmare getting them back out.

“I’m sorry, Fi,” Carl whispered to her. He looked so miserable it was hard to be upset with him.

Fiona put her hand on his head and pulled him over to her side while she hugged him fiercely.

“It’s okay,” she said. “No more though, buddy. Please?”

“I promise,” Carl said, too seriously for a little boy to be.

It was so god damned unfair that Fiona’s siblings had to grow up and be mature when their parents were out acting like kids with their drugs and booze and whatever bullshit kept them away.

Lip caught Fiona’s eye across the room and he nodded at her. The confidence the kids all had in her was heartening, but they didn’t understand that it just wasn’t enough.

“Carl Gallagher?” Carl’s teacher poked her head out of the principal’s office and looked at Fiona. “And are you his mother?”

“Sister.” Fiona stood up and offered her most mature smile and handshake to the woman. “Hi, Fiona Gallagher.”

“We asked for a guardian or parent,” the woman said shortly. “Where are they?”

“Our father had to work,” Lip said smoothly as he stood up with Liam on his hip. “He works nights at the factory.”

“I’m here.”

All six Gallaghers turned as one at the sound of Frank’s voice.

Fiona was high, she had to be.

Frank stepped in the office and not only was he clean but he shaved and had his hair brushed neatly. And Fiona couldn’t even begin to guess where the hell he found a suit from.

“Hello,” Frank offered his hand and a smile to Carl’s teacher. “Frank Gallagher. Thank you for waiting, I wanted to change from my work clothes. Now,” Frank clapped his hands together after shaking the teacher’s hand, “I believe we’re here to discuss Carl?”

“What the fuck?” Lip breathed in Fiona’s ear as they followed behind Frank and Carl’s teacher.

Fiona shook her head, too shocked to even question what was happening.

Sober Frank? Clean Frank?

Frank that charmed his way through the meeting with the principal?

By the end of the meeting, Frank had assured the principal and teacher that he would ensure Carl apologized to the students he hurt. He just… Frank smoothed the entire thing over in one conversation. Not once did he call the principal a slur or start ranting about some bullshit spiel.

“Who are you and what have you done with Frank?” Fiona asked Frank when they all left the school together thirty minutes later.

Debbie was swinging Frank’s hand and even Liam was grinning on Frank’s hip. It was like Fiona had stepped in some alternate universe where Frank was a human being who gave a damn about his kids.

“Who’s hungry?” Frank asked the kids, ignoring Fiona’s shock. When the younger kids all cried to stop at the bakery between the school and their house, Frank laughed. “Alright, dessert for dinner it us.”

“I’m out of here,” Ian murmured to Fiona with a distrustful glare toward Frank. “I’m not sticking around to see how this ends.”

Fiona nodded understandingly and watched Ian lope away with his head ducked and his hands stuffed in his pockets. Just because it was the most human Frank had been in a long time didn’t mean the older three hadn’t seen similar performances before.

Frank would clean up, get the kids’ hopes up that he would be a parent, and then break their hearts when he fucked up next. It was easier to just expect the worst from him, it was all they usually got anyway.

Frank kept up his act for a while though. He listened while Debbie chatted about school and her friends. He laughed when Carl got a cookie and dunked it in a cup of Pepsi. Fiona and Lip just watched it all happen in complete shock.

It wasn’t until they were back at the house and Frank tucked Liam, Carl, and Debbie in that the other shoe dropped.

“I have something for you,” Frank told Fiona.

Fiona felt Lip touch her foot with his under the kitchen table while Frank grabbed an envelope from inside his suit jacket. Fiona opened the envelope slowly, completely lost on what it could be, and it took her brain a few seconds to register what she was looking at.

“Temporary Guardianship?” Fiona asked, reading the first page. It was of Liam and it was dated to last until he was eighteen. Fiona flipped through the pages and saw that there was one for each of kids, each dated to last until they turned eighteen.

Lip snatched the papers from Fiona and read them while Fiona stared at her father.

Frank looked more serious than Fiona had ever seen him before as he stood on the other side of the table and looked at her.

“I’m an alcoholic, Fiona,” Frank said quietly. “I’m also a drug addict. You all deserve better, and we both know you’re the only real parent these kids have. Those forms are all notarized, they should work fine for the school and the DCS if you need them.

“I’m sorry, Fiona.”

Fiona grit her teeth to keep from crying as she slowly stood up and approached Frank. It was the most candid Frank had ever been. He wasn’t a parent, he never had been and would never be, but… but he made sure that Fiona could be the parent.

“Thank you,” Fiona said in a rough voice. She hugged Frank before she could second-guess herself.

The biggest surprise of Fiona’s life came when Frank wrapped his arms around Fiona and hugged her back.

“I’m proud of you, Fiona,” Frank murmured.

“And then he said he was proud of me!” Fiona was out front two hours later, sharing a bowl with Remus. She had went outside to just have a beer and wonder what the fuck had happened when Remus appeared with good weed and cheap tequila.

He invited Fiona over and they sat on his wooden porch swing together while Fiona told him about her evening. Fiona was chatty when she was high, so she spared him no detail from when Frank first showed up to when he left the house an hour ago.

“He should be,” Remus said with a lazy smile after taking a swig of the tequila straight from the bottle and passing it back to Fiona. “I’ve got one kid, I can’t imagine how you deal with five.”

Fiona laughed and felt completely giddy. She started her day off thinking that her kids would all be taken and then suddenly she had legal documents giving her rights to them. Lip said the forms could be contested in court, but what judge in their right might would choose Frank or Monica over Fiona?

“I think I’m in shock,” Fiona said. She smiled freely at Remus. “Pinch me, please. I need to wake up.”

Fiona yelped and then laughed when Remus pinched her leg, just behind her knee.

“You’re awake, love,” Remus said in his British drawl. When he coupled it with his stoned smile, it was really fucking hard for Fiona to remember her boyfriend.

“I guess I am,” Fiona breathed. Fiona shifted her leg over, brushing it against Remus’. Remus slowly put his hand on Fiona’s knee, just beneath the hem of her skirt.

Fiona leaned toward Remus, Remus’ amber-colored eyes smoldered as he leaned toward her.

Remus’ hand slid upward, Fiona spread her knees and let out a sigh when Remus scraped a fingernail on her thigh.

“Fiona…” Remus bent his face down until his nose touched Fiona’s.

Fiona tilted her chin up and her lashes fluttered when Remus went in for it—

“JAMES! JAMES!”

Before Remus’ lips could touch Fiona’s, he jerked away at the sound of someone screaming drunkenly on the sidewalk. Fiona hastily scooted over some when Remus took his hand out of her skirt.

What the hell was wrong with her? Fiona’s face was a dark red when she thought about poor Steve. Steve loved Fiona. He loved the kids and he tried so damn hard. Was she really going to fuck up a good thing for what would probably be a shitty fuck?

Fiona eyed Remus subtly and corrected herself-

Was she really going to fuck up a good thing for what would probably be one mind-blowing fuck?

It didn’t matter though because Remus passed Fiona the bowl as the drunk on the sidewalk staggered up to his gate. Fiona recognized him then, it was Harry’s other uncle, Sirius.

Sirius looked completely plastered. His long black hair that was usually in a messy bun was loose and sticking to his sweaty skin while he fumbled with the gate. Remus sighed as he stood up and quickly went to the gate.

“You’re drunk,” he told Sirius flatly.

Sirius stared at Remus as if he didn’t recognize him.

“Moony?” Sirius asked. He laughed when Remus opened the gate. “Moony! You’re here! Where’s James?” Sirius looked around the yard for whoever James was and smiled drunkenly at Fiona when he saw her.

“Mary?” Sirius asked. “‘S that you?”

“It’s Fiona, our neighbor,” Remus said. He grabbed Sirius by the shoulder and began guiding him toward the house. Fiona put down the tequila and bowl and jumped up to help him when Sirius stumbled and nearly took them both to the ground.

“You don’t want to see this, love,” Remus said even as Fiona took up Sirius’ other side.

“I’m used to it,” Fiona said wryly.

“James in there?” Sirius asked while they slowly guided him up the stairs.

“James is dead, Sirius,” Remus said tiredly.

“Who’s James?” Fiona asked.

“Harry’s father,” Remus told her. “James was our best friend.”

“Harry?” Sirius perked up and took the last step himself. “Harry’s here?”

“No, thank god,” Remus murmured. He reached around Sirius to open the front door and Fiona grinned when he shoved Sirius inside and then pulled the door shut behind him.

“I guess I’ll let you deal with that,” Fiona told Remus, feeling annoyingly shy. Fiona Gallagher was not a shy person, she had never been a shy person.

Remus sighed and then smiled warmly at her, washing away her shyness.

“You’ll probably hear him screaming soon,” Remus said factually. “He’s a very friendly drunk for a while then he turns quite hateful.”

Fiona actually already knew that. She had heard Sirius and Harry going at it for a month before Remus arrived.

“If Harry needs a place to crash, tell him he’s welcome at our place,” Fiona told Remus.

“I will when he gets home, thank you.” Remus grabbed Fiona’s hand and winked at her while he kissed the back of it. “To be continued, love.”

Fiona was still blushing and a guilty and horny mess when Steve showed up an hour later.

“Fuck, Fi.” Steve rolled over in bed and grinned at Fiona. His hair was a mess, there were fingernail scratches down his back, and Fiona could see a hickey on his bare chest. “What got into you?” he asked playfully.

“I’m just… in a good mood, I guess,” Fiona said. She rolled on her back and looked up at the ceiling of her bedroom. “Today was something else, Steve.”

“Yeah?” Steve smiled crookedly at her, so kind and in love with her. “You wanna tell me about it?”

Fiona sighed deeply.

“No, let’s see if we can get you going again.”

Harry felt like an idiot, but Remus swore it would work.

Once Harry decided that he did like Mandy and would like to change her from his fake-girlfriend to his real-girlfriend, Remus gave him a bunch of ideas on how to do it.

Which is what led Harry to stand outside Mandy’s house, in the backyard behind her window, with his phone in one hand and a single rose in the other.

If anyone ever told any of Harry’s friends about it, Harry would never live it down. But Mandy did seem like the type of person to appreciate romantic gestures - to show her that Harry liked her for more than just her body.

It took nearly half the song Remus picked, some sort of soft rock song about love, before Mandy finally poked her head out the window.

“What… the fuck… are you doing?” she asked slowly.

Harry grinned and held out the rose for her. “Saying sorry,” he said truthfully. Harry was sorry if he hurt Mandy’s feelings, even if he wasn’t sure how he did it. “And to ask if you’ll be my girlfriend?”

Mandy looked at Harry like he was an idiot but then her face slowly smiled in a sweet and shy way.

“You came here to ask if I’ll be your girfriend?” Mandy asked. She slid the window all the way open and reached a hand out for Harry. “Are you sure you don’t have any ulterior motives?”

Harry gave her the rose and then pocketed his phone so he could grab the windowsill and heave himself in the room. Mandy backed up and laughed when Harry rolled from the windowsill to the bed and then on the floor.

“No ulterior motives,” Harry said brightly as he jumped to his feet. He tried to smile as charmingly as he could. “I like you, Mandy. I like spending time with you.”

And Harry would very much like to shag her again, but Remus said that she wouldn’t appreciate hearing that.

“Even after I was such a bitch?” Mandy asked while she toyed with the rose.

“I’d prefer you not hit me again, but yeah,” Harry shrugged. He tried to sweeten the deal some, giving Mandy something better than just him. “I found one of those pumpkin places you said you liked.”

Mandy looked at Harry through her lashes for a moment while Harry began to feel mildly panicked by her lack of a response. Sure, Harry wasn’t… well, much of anything, but Mandy was his friend and they had sex once and Harry thought they liked each other…

Harry went from panicked to terrified when Mandy’s pretty brown eyes started watering.

“You brought me a rose and want to go to a pumpkin patch together?” Mandy asked. She sniffled when Harry nodded slowly. “That’s like… the most romantic fucking thing ever.”

Harry went from panicked to terrified to rather pleased when Mandy lunged and knocked Harry on her bed and they began snogging.

As good as their first time together had probably been, Harry thought the second time was much better.

… probably because he could remember it the next morning.

Harry swaggered home the next morning, having to sneak out before Mandy’s dad (who just returned from prison) woke up and caught him in bed with Mandy.

The sun was rising, the tweaker in the house across from the Gallagher’s place was ranting to the tree; everything was perfect.

Then Harry walked in his house and apparently interrupted a row between Sirius and Remus.

“THERE’S THE BLOODY DOOR!” When Sirius pointed at the front door he realized Harry had just stepped through it.

Everyone froze.

Remus stood in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen and looked furious. He was in pajamas, an odd thing to see Remus wear, and had a dark look on his face while he scowled at Sirius.

Sirius looked as if he’d slept in his jeans, as wrinkled as they were, and his hair was a tangled mess around his face. Sirius blinked at Harry for a long moment, seemingly surprised to see him.

“Where’s your glasses?” Sirius asked.

Harry glanced toward Remus who quickly contorted his face to something more passive and then looked back at Sirius uncertainly.

“You- you gave me money for contacts, remember?” Harry said.

Technically Harry and Lip stole the prescription contacts and then split the money, but it wasn’t a distinction Sirius needed to know about.

“Oh.” Sirius stared at Harry. “You look like your mum.”

Harry relaxed some and slowly shut the door behind him.

“Yeah?” he asked, glancing toward Remus again. Harry wanted to know what they’d been fighting about at six in the morning, but Harry rarely found Sirius when he was sober and recognized Harry.

“Yeah.” Sirius swiped his hair out of his face and smiled at Harry. “C’mon, I’ll make breakfast.”

Harry gave Remus a curious look as they passed him in the doorway. Remus just sighed and shook his head before following behind them.

It was a bit awkward. Sirius talked about Harry’s parents while he made fried fish for breakfast. Harry liked hearing about his parents and he was thrilled to have Sirius speaking to him, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that Sirius was only doing so because of his fight with Remus.

Harry put off writing back to Hermione in favor of calling Dudley after he showered and slept. Dudley answered and looked as if he had just woken up as well.

“Little H!” Dudley said cheerily. He sat his phone on his lap and Harry watched him scrub his face with his hands before picking it back up and grinning. “What’s up?”

“Nothing really,” Harry said. He rolled on his back on his bed and grinned at the phone as he held it above his head. “Wanna hear about my girlfriend?”

Dudley laughed loudly and nodded. “Hell yeah, cuz.”

Harry gave Dudley a full recount of the last week, sparing no details. Dudley was a good listener, always laughing or groaning at the right moments.

“Wait! You showed up with a rose and it worked?!” Dudley demanded when Harry got to the end of his story. Dudley looked wondrous when Harry nodded. “Mate, I’ve got to get a rose.”

“Also, offer to take her to a pumpkin patch,” Harry advised him.

“Pumpkin patch?” Dudley squinted at Harry. “What the hell is that?”

“No idea,” Harry said honestly. “But I told Mandy I’d take her to one next weekend.”

Harry was kind of hoping that Lip and Karen would go as well though. A pumpkin patch sounded terribly boring, even if Mandy was excited.

Maybe Harry could even be the bigger person and invite Ian and Mickey.

… maybe.

Harry wasn’t sure if he was that big of a person or not.