Hedwig’s Misadventures

Voldemort cannot take this horror anymore. He cannot.

He is unable to sleep anymore, plagued by relentless nightmare after nightmare.

It took him months to find the cause.

Soon, he will act soon.

—

Draco and Dumbledore found a suspicious item… and gifted it to Harry… by leaving the ticking time bomb under his bed.

Harry should’ve known better than to keep wandering out about so late in the night. It’s just that Snape’s books were so fascinating! And useful!

Is this his karma for convincing Tom Riddle that he was a pig about to be sold in the meat market?

When he came in, he saw that the area beneath his bed was glowing. So, doing the responsible thing, he checked it out himself.

Ron was snoring away on his bed. Until Harry woke him up with a screech of course.

“Ron!”

“Harry!”

Harry started yelling again.

“Ron!!”

“Harry!!”

Harry Potter was glowing, an unknown magical parasite trying to weave its way deep into his core. He fumbled about, nearly tripping over… Hedwig?

“Ron!!!”

“Harry!!!”

“What in the bloody fuck are you two dunceheads on about now?”

The screaming woke up Seamus.

“…Harry? Harry!”

“Seamus!”

“Ron!”

In the midst of Harry throwing fists left and right at no specific source and Seamus now panicking, they take a pause to stare at Ron.

“Why did you yell your own name?”

“I didn’t want to be left out!”

Within a split second, the light disappears, the magical parasite hosting itself in Harry. Why is it always him?!

And why are Dumbledore and Draco Malfoy on a broomstick watching him from the outside of his window while holding notepads and pens? And when did Hedwig get here?

What did they do, and why does this parasite feel oddly familiar?

(Tom Riddle 4.0 feels right at home within his new host.)

—

With the faculty under investigation, the students of Hogwarts have easily begun their blackmail.

In a twist of events, Umbridge was sent as a spy from Voldemort. It was thought that her presence would be used to weaken the students, preventing them from magical training for a whole year.

Things did not go as planned.

This is her third time being gifted an exploding cake, a threat of what will happen to her if she stops supplying her scarring quills.

That damned Harry Potter boy, making her into the culprit! He will pay!

—

Hedwig should’ve known better than to wish for something interesting.

Harry ran into her sleeping corridors late one evening, out of breath.

“Hehhh-“

Harry should really exercise more. He takes a few minutes to recollect his breath.

“Hedwig, we have to go right now!”

Before she can get a word in edgewise, he yanks her by her leg and begins running, her still upside down, attempting to explain what’s happening.

“Nnneh- nd then- eee-“

She blankly asks Harry through his mind if he has undiagnosed asthma.

Offended, he just lets her read his mind.

With it, it’s revealed that Harry had been sending Voldemort horrific visions throughout the past year after an accidental discovery. It seems Harry discovered this odd connection first. Wow, she’s taught her protege well.

But why is Harry able to see into Tom’s mind if he hadn’t had a horcrux for the past few months? Even before Draco and Dumbledore’s experiment? How odd.

On occasion, Harry is able to dip into Voldemort’s mind and see what he’s up to. Harry just woke up from a vision where Tom is in the Department of Mysteries, holding Sirius hostage.

Not his poor weak and traumatized godfather!

Hedwig tries to warn Harry that this might be a trap and that he’s being stupid. Sirius is peacefully chilling by an ocean somewhere. But it is true, no matter how many times Harry contacted Sirius, he hasn’t heard from him since the house elf revolution.

It’s a little suspicious. It’s also a little suspicious that this happened right as Dumbledore traveled by floo to the America’s for specialized dark chocolate.

Through her musing, the potentially asthmatic Harry meets up with his ever loyal companions. Oh god, he’s got the mob ready.

Hermione, Ron, Draco, and Dobby stand there geared up and wands out, ready to go at a moments notice.

Oh… is that Umbridge tied up in the corner with a gag? She’s so proud of her humans.

“Is this Umbridge’s floo?” Harry points at the very obvious floo network.

“No Harry, it’s a time traveling portal to a universe where everyone is made of marshmallows and has the face of Severus.“

“I would totally go to that just so you know-“

Draco pushed Harry in and the rest follow suit.

Of course they all come out the other side in one big pile up, ever the graceful ones. A backpack containing only ball pit balls opens up, balls cascading out and filling the area. The backpack is of dragon-hide.

They all look at Draco.

“Okay… In my defense… I have none.”

Draco has been hanging around a certain mad old man for too long now. He’s even dressed mysteriously. Consequences are starting to show.

Draco slowly bends down, taking his time to put each ball back into the backpack one by one. Harry picks up a ball and pelts Draco with it.

“We’re in a hurry!”

Exploring and doodling around, they find the Hall of Prophecies, coming across “the” prophecy. But Harry has known this story for years now thanks to Dumbledore.

He has no use for it.

“Should I burn it?”

Hermione groans. Ron nods. Dobby smiles. Draco is still busy playing around with his backpack.

Hedwig lands up on Harry’s shoulder, offering to eat it. It’s the best offer she can think of.

Hermione has been long done with them. She lets them do whatever they want.

“Oh my Merlin, behind this glass is a book full of prophecies from the fourteenth century!”

Hermione gasps, “Look at each musty page aged with cryptic verses in languages so alike but different from ours! I bet there are so many riddles and allegories in here!”

The nerds found a book.

Ron and Dobby begin to circle her as Harry shoves the scroll half way down her throat, all yelling out “chug, chug, chug!” as though they were in a frat.

This is the scene that both the order and Voldemort’s crew walk in on.

Voldemort throws a curse at them, interrupting their late evening party. The scroll regurgitates out of Hedwig.

How utterly rude, Hedwig was about to enjoy that.

With annoyance and spite fueling her, she gulps down the scroll whole. Her companions cheer her on. Dobby especially.

Tommy boy doesn’t seem too happy about this.

“Seize the damn bird and boy!”

Curses fly, people scramble.

Sirius gets a hold of Harry for a moment, both crouched behind a statue.

Like godfather like son, they both scratch their heads with the same stupid expression on their faces.

“So… you’re not uh… still mad, right?”

Harry knows some weird things went down over the past year. He’ll never forget that one really good sandwich Tom made him.

Sirius sighs and pats Harry’s head. Harry’s nearly as tall as him now. He could never hate his godson, even if said godson did hold him hostage, traumatize him repeatedly, and then tie him up and try to sacrifice him in a mass ritual.

But when Harry looks up at Sirius with a smile, he only has one thought go through his head. If only James could see him now. Harry’s grown so much, turning into a good young man worthy of-

-Harry sets fire the their surroundings within the blink of an eye.

…Never mind.

“Harry… why?”

Harry scratched his head uncaringly. “If everything’s gone, they won’t go wild.”

“Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god. We can’t afford the replace the entire Department of Mysteries Harry! How are we going to get out of here without the entire place toppling?!”

Right on cue, Hedwig sends a massive blast straight through the ceiling, Dobby’s infamous soap bubbles lighting the way.

Sirius is starting to revert, months of healing unraveling. He can’t handle more debt!

Harry yells out to Hedwig. “We can’t blow up the building yet!”

Hedwig eyes down Harry like he’s stupid. As if she doesn’t know that much. Tch. Even Hedwig knows that if she collapses the place that her weak companions are dead meat instantly.

“Did you hear that, huh?”

The two originals nod, Draco following suit. Dobby’s busy playing with soap. Everything’s on fire. Where is Dumbledore when you need him?

They just run around like chickens with their heads cut off, none of them having sense of direction. It’s kind of like a herd of giraffes playing charades.

Draco runs towards Harry, hoping to regroup.

Right as he makes his decision and turns around, he trips on his stupid bloody cloak. At the same time, a green curse flys by overhead, missing him through a wheel of fortune. Did he seriously owe his life to a badly made cloak from a crazy old man? It doesn’t help that this cloak has an odd scent mixed of lemurs and cherry bubblegum.

Draco stands back up, hoodie falling down. He takes a quick glimpse back, ready to keep running. He’s shaky, adrenaline filling his entire body.

“Draco?”

Oh.

His father almost killed him without a second thought.

Lucius’ wand wavers, eyes wide and mouth open. “Draco, I…”

It’s okay.

It’s okay. His father has chosen his side is all. So had Draco. Flipping the hood back over his head, he keeps running with the book in his arms.

He keeps telling himself it’s okay. He just has to focus on getting out of here is all.

So, with Dobby blinding the forces behind them with his bubbles of God and Hermione guiding them, they run.

They run to the wrong room.

“I’m sorry!” Hermione’s nearly wailing because she can’t handle failure. How could she have messed up so bad? Ron tries to soothe her but she starts pulling on his hair out of frustration. His head gets yanked all over the place. True love.

The death eaters follow suit.

“Dobby, I thought you had this covered!”

“Dobby got distracted.” Dobby ran into the room carrying a medium sized portrait of an… ‘attractive’ house elf. For fucks sake Dobby.

Hedwig makes a decision. Guess she’ll blast her way out of here. Oh well. Everyone will probably live.

Becoming a ball of energy about to explode, Hedwig starts glowing, until Sirius grabs her that is.

“Hedwig please, I’m becoming poor!”

Sirius tussles her and she tussles back, but her stupid talon is stuck in his chain necklace. With lots of squawking and yelling, they don’t even notice their position, or the stray knockback curse coming right at them.

It’s just a knockback curse, so why is Harry looking at her with that expression? She’d never seen that look on Harry before.

It feels like slow motion, the ground not coming quick enough.

The external noise of her surroundings melts away, replaced by a singular thump echoing from her chest to her ears. Why is Harry reaching out to her?

Hedwig and Sirius disappear into the veil.