Hermione and Harry’s Mistaken Adventure
Unknown. Daylight
Harry and Hermione could be found currently residing in a strange jungle.
Sphinxes, as magically gifted and intelligent as they are, lacked the abilities humans have for direction. Or perhaps this was done out of spite.
Both teens sit in the midst of a river, a leaf transfigured into a makeshift boat underneath them.
Harry thanks the Gods above everyday for Hermione.
Sadly for the teens, the Sphinxes were clearly unable to restore the portkey to its rightful state, landing them somewhere unfamiliar.
The sun was beating down on them harder than Madea would beat up an intruder.
The two pale British children burnt badly, a faint smell of pork filling the air wherever they went. Harry swore his skin was falling off.
You see, Hermione may be intelligent and a go-getter, but she was no Einstein.
All it took for the boat to crumble was hitting a mild boulder, their bodies being thrown into the water instantly.
The water was fast and violent, having rapids and sharp rocks scattered throughout as they began to travel downhill. Harry is tired of gravity.
Hermione latched onto Harry, completely forgetting in her panic that he couldn’t swim.
“Harry! Now is not the time to be playing around!”
Harry bobs beneath Hermione’s weight.
“G-hhk-ghkg”
Through what little eyesight he has left, he watches as the wreckage of their raft floats downstream. He is unsure of what exactly Hermione did, but it hasn’t turned back into a leaf.
Harry and Hermione looked at each other, Harry with defeat and Hermione with shame.
The turbulence pulls them further and further, Hermione still clinging and Harry half drowning. The loud rushing waters start to prevent anything other than the sound of their own breathing from being heard.
Desperately grasping at anything to keep them above, Harry’s hands find something long, smooth, and rope-like. Instinctively, like a baby with palmar grasp reflex, Harry hangs on to it as tightly as he can, using it to pull him and Hermione up and out.
They thank the lucky stars that they are muggles with climbing abilities.
Letting out long and uneven breathes, they hang up in the air, a couple of feet between them and the rushing water.
“Harry… what’s wrong with our lives?”
She sounds defeated.
Harry can’t muster up more than a shrug, unable to put his thoughts into words.
In the back of their minds, there is only one thought occurring. “Hedwig.”
Dangling there, Harry begins to notice that their rope is… twitching?
They take a moment to freeze and turn towards each other, “oh shit” expressions on their faces.
The realization hits that no, this is not a mysteriously placed rope, this is a giant and most likely magical snake that they are holding onto for dear life.
What awful timing to look down and see an alligator looking up at them.
“Harry…”
“Bloody fucking hell.”
As they have both of their hands around the snake, they are unable to reach for their wands without slipping.
The snake begins twisting around again, reacting to the alligator and two humans. It’s bigger than they originally thought it was. Hermione panics.
“Harry! Swing!”
“What?!”
“Swing!”
Hermione begins swinging the damn snake like a swing. Harry follows suit. They are so close to the riverbank, only a couple of feet away.
The snake is confused, because who wouldn’t be. The alligator sees a moving target and goes to chomp. The snake does not take kindly to this.
Harry and Hermione are flung to the swampy grass, landing stomach first. It sloshes. They eat mud.
Faces rising, they stop and take a good look at each other. And, the leeches that don their bodies.
They mirror mild disbelief at their current predicament. Harry mutters first.
“I blame Hedwig.”
“At least Hedwig isn’t here. This literally can’t get any worse.”
Hermione, why would you say that?
In that quick swing away, they disturbed a bees nest. They begin to swarm.
They bat at the bees, Hermione using quick thinking and whipping out her wand, casting Dobby’s infamous soap bubbling charm at the bees. It gives them a small amount of time to get their butts up and moving.
But what do they encounter while on the run? A tiger.
At this point, Harry had regained some of his wits. He blows the poor hungry creature away with an angry huff.
Harry shakes his head and walks backwards a couple of steps.
“What even is today? No, I take that back. What even is my life? I can’t-“
Harry disappears into the ground below him.
A hidden pitfall.
Harry lays there, having finally been bested. Hermione stares down at him.
“Hey Hermione, what do you think of dropping out of Hogwarts and running away?”
Hermione’s couple second pause is all he needs to hear.
His head thuds back against the pile of poo he landed in.