Not Even A Hint Of Common Sense
Hedwig and Harry found out a fun new fact about Dobby.
If you throw anything small at him quickly, he will gobble it mid-air, thinking it’s food.
So far, they’ve gotten Dobby to eat rocks, crickets, toxic plants, sand, a whole stick of butter swallowed whole, and a live flobberworm.
Needless to say, this only adds to the unique mystery of Dobby’s past.
This became a weekly outing at Hagrid’s new hut.
—
Unlike previous Defense teachers, Remus was off to a rather good start.
During day one, that was.
Hedwig couldn’t quell her curiosity after Harry came to her ranting about how this one might not attempt to kill him.
So she sat outside of his window, peering in on his lessons.
She made eye contact with Harry as he facepalmed.
She also couldn’t help but notice Draco having an intense staring contest with Harry’s hair. He was doing weird hand expressions as though he were trying to map out it out.
Hm.
“My reasoning for this? Many greater wizards have lost their wand to something far sillier than-“
In the middle of glimpsing out of the window during his speech, he made eye contact with Hedwig, who was not there a moment prior.
He stumbled back with a hand to his chest, exhaling deeply.
“Whooh. I did not expect that.”
Should she take offense?
Regaining his composure, he walked back to his desk.
“Isn’t this your bird, Mr. Potter?”
“…Yeah.”
Why did he not sound confident about that. Was Harry looking to start something with her?
“Well then. I’ve heard some… ah, well. Rumors.”
Remus patted his desk and made a ‘come here’ gesture at Hedwig.
“How about we have a participant today?”
All the students backed up in a frenzy, the sound of scooting chairs and desks prominent. Someone toppled over in their chair in the midst of the chaos.
Harry put on goggles. Does he just carry that around?
Remus pursed his lips, thinking that perhaps he made a mistake.
“Okay… Hedwig. I want you to cast a low level wind spell at me.”
He cleared his throat and faced his class with his wand in his hand.
“I will demonstrate a base level shield charm-“
A deafening boom.
He was hit in the head with his stapler.
…
He was afraid to turn around.
A small cloud of dust and smoke started to fill the room in front of him, his students coughing.
His desk was obliterated, blasted to smithereens. Bits of metal and wood debris were strewn about. All his lesson plans he spent months planning? Gone.
Harry and Ron started clapping, a chain reaction forming.
He let out a defeated sigh.
“Alright then…”
—
Remus trusted Dumbledore’s judgement.
He did.
And the dog that looks exactly like Padfoot hasn’t acted suspicious.
Other than the potential rabies.
And the weird smell.
But something felt wrong, really.
From as soon as he got here, he swore that he could see the dog out of the corner of his eye. Everywhere.
His corridors, the library, his classroom, the bloody bathroom.
He was just showering in the privacy of his own bathroom. He peeked his eyes out of the curtain, noticing his door was cracked open.
He left it locked.
Every time he opened his eyes at night, he saw shadows in the corner of his room. A dark and murky shape that always disappeared when he turned his head.
At night, he could no longer tell the difference between nightmare and reality.
Maybe this is what those muggles call a sleep paralysis demon?
Everywhere he went, he felt a presence lurking just behind him.
Was this real? Or only in his head?
His paranoia only increased.
It’s not like he can complain about his bosses dog after he graciously gave Remus a chance, even with his awful condition.
(McGonagall hired him.)
This must be his personal atonement, being stalked by a crack dog.
—
Sirius was pissed.
They were all in Dumbledore’s office when Harry asked Dumbledore about the newest professor.
“So, what’s this guys story?”
Remus. Remus. Remus.
How dare he?
Twelve years!
Remus!
Padfoot’s eye started twitching.
How dare Remus?!
Where was he all these years?!
Images of Remus’s face from weird angles began to flash through his mind, madness invading him yet again.
He spent twelve endless years in that hell and Remus never bothered to question anything. Maybe that he could understand, but not checking on Harry?
He was supposed to be uncle Moony.
REMUS!
Remus Remus Remus.
Moony.
His body filled up with resentment, longing to release it.
Sirius wanted to poison him. No, he’s his best friend. Wait, Sirius wanted more than that. This world needed a revolution. Yes. That’s what it needed. Sirius had to change the world. Sirius would kill the Minister. Yes.
He hates him. He hates him. Remus would regret.
Remus. Remus. Remus.
RemusRemusRemusRemusRemusRemus
He starts heavy breathing again.
Harry and Dumbledore took a break from their conversation to look over at their dog.
Everyone in the room watched as Padfoot growled under his breath and scooted his butt in an uncoordinated circle, back legs up in the air. His eyes were blank, no longer residing in this reality.
—
Draco Malfoy was not jealous.
Not at all.
What’s there to be jealous of?
Certainly not the stupidity. Not the way he had to reel in his small demons. Or the way his ugly hair stuck up. Or the way he and his friends were always laughing together…
No, not at all.
This was purely an act of revenge.
If Harry Potter had nothing special left to him, no one would oo and ah at him anymore.
He would take the shape and form of Potter, becoming the perfect replica of his nemesis. Draco would learn how to walk like him, how to talk and dress like him.
He wanted the same attention and fear from other the students, the same special treatment.
(He was not lonely. He was not.)
He would then outshine him in every way, showing everyone that he was the superior wizard.
—
It was 9:20 pm on a school night.
Hedwig flew out of the Owlry to Hagrid’s hut, swerving past the trees that Dumbledore accidentally gave human traits to.
She couldn't wait to see the dragon again. It was so huge and majestic with its scaly skin and fiery breath.
She wanted to feel its hot fire trying to cremate her feathers, breathe in the rich scent of ash.
She wanted to sick it on Snape.
Before she entered through the makeshift window, she couldn’t help but spot the bush below rustling.
A snoop?
She decided to create a small magic bomb and send it hurling down, causing the culprit to dive out of the way as the bush blew up.
Good thing Hagrid’s new house was brick.
Draco Malfoy laid there huffing, a newly formed scratch running down his entire forearm.
“What the hell, bloody bird?”
Why was he here? And was that hairspray?
She did what she thought best for a snoop. And, she was bored, so..
She conjured magic ropes, learnt prior by Dumbledore’s instruction, and wrapped him by his torso.
Draco was lifted through the air tied up and flailing, Hedwig dragging him along the side of the house and up through the small window.
Talk about rug burn.
She promptly dropped him onto the dragon, undoing the rope.
Draco, meet dragon.
Draco sat on top of the dragon, paralyzed by fear. He prayed that the beast wouldn’t wake up.
But sadly, Hedwig was here, immediately canceling out all prayers.
“What’s goin on?”
Hagrid entered, a cup of dirt coffee in his hand.
The dragon looked up, firstly at the human on his back, secondly at the owl that freed him.
“Wha? A Malfoy?”
Hagrid scrubs at his eyes.
“Oh, I see. The misses over here brought you, huh?”
Hedwig sent the dragon a mental picture of him taking Draco soaring through the air and an after reward of whatever he pleases.
Hagrid opened the big sliding door for some fresh air.
“Nono-“
He got up and flew before Draco could slide off of him, causing him to dig in with all of his limbs like a grappling hook.
And up they went, Hedwig following.
In the air, you could see the entirety of the Hogwarts layout. Here, there wasn’t much light pollution, letting you see the Milky Way in great detail.
Every time she’s up this high, it’s an exhilarating experience, the freedom and euphoria coursing through her blood.
She looked over at the blonde inbred, seeing a similar expression on his face.
Draco felt intoxicated. Is this the life of Harry Potter?
The clouds floating right next to them, the cricks running through the landscape, the Womping Willow trying to kill a kid…
Hedwig did a double take.
Wait, is that Harry??
Oh, Dobby’s there. Nevermind, they probably deserve it.
They flew past the screaming.
A little further onwards, a swarm of dementors came flying at them.
She almost forgot about them.
She mentally gave the dragon an order, him plummeting down into the Black Lake, water boarding Draco.
She got into position and threw her new and improved version of a magical bomb she’s been working on towards them.
It exploded on impact.
Unfortunately, the impact included the entire South Wing of Hogwarts.
The dementors fell back as they were blinded with a massive flash of bright light, having never been hit with a WW2 bomb before.
The dragon resurfaced with Draco hacking and clinging on for dear life, looking like a drowned cat.
His hair still stuck up.
“What-“
He couldn’t even catch his breath as the dragon took off like he was in an air show. Draco’s mouth flew open and remained in that position due to the fast and intense speed, accidentally catching all of the nightly insects.
—
Remus was just trying to sleep.
He was so tired.
Drool dripped down onto him from his ceiling vent.
“Heh. Heh. Hehh.”
-
Dumbledore stood in front of his mirror with Fawkes, giving the bird a fashion show of all his newest outfits.
—
Equipped with nothing but non-magical sticks, the two swung and swung and swung again, hitting the tree until it was defeated.
Harry and Dobby high-fived each other, feeling pretty proud of their accomplishment.
Turning around to leave, branches wrapped around the mid sections of their bodies.
They looked at each other and started screaming as the tree swung them eighty feet up in the air.
—
Severus Snape was sitting on his favorite armchair drinking his nightly tea with a book:
“100 Reasons Why You Should Not Commit Suicide”
(It was not tea.)
He flipped the page as a meteor went sailing by his window. A muffled scream could be heard for a brief second, but it passed by quickly.
“My father will not hear about this!”
Snape wandlessly closes the blinds.