A Little Star

A few months have passed since that horrible night. Slowly, Sirius was coming back. Sirius did schedule an appointment to get resorted. He ended up in slytherin.

when the gryffindors found out about it, let’s just say they were not happy about it.

but let’s talk about that later. Sirius and Pandora were studying together in the library. Pandora helped Sirius catch up after him not going to their classes for a whole week.

“Can we take a break?” Sirius whined, Pandora hit him in the face with a book. “No. We need to finish all the work you missed. now let me see that” she said, grabbing the assignment in front of him.

Sirius groans and throws his head back “doraaaa” he whined. she giggled and grabbed his face “work.”

Sirius was a smart boy. He just HATED doing work.

“Next we have to do potions. Slughorn is already on your arse about it.”

Sirius sighs and listens to Pandora. He loved her, she was sweet and kind. She was like an angel falling from heaven.

A few hours later they finished for the day. He parted ways with Dora and walked down to the dungeons.

they suddenly feel a hand on their shoulder. They turn around and meet face to face with Severus.

“What do you want snivellus.” Sirius said annoyed. “just here to remind you what you did to me.”

Sirius rolled their eyes “shove off snape. that’s your fault that decided to poke ur big nose into business.” Severus snarled “it’s your fault you lost all your friends and now your brother dearest is always by your side and protecting you.”

Sirius takes a deep breath and ignores him. “shove off snape. it’s not my fault that Lily doesn’t want you back.'' After that all he could remember was Snape's fist.

Sirius slowly woke up and looked around. “where am i?” he whispered and Pomfrey popped her head around the corner and hurried over to them.

“you poor boy. your friends found you passed out near the dungeons. what happened?” she said softly while fixing their eye.

“me and severus were speaking and all of a sudden i’m knocked out. I don't know what happened after.” Sirius said calmly. Pomfrey nodded and smiled.

“Your friends came in to see you earlier.” Pomfrey said getting up and looking for a pain relieving potion. she must be talking about the slytherins.

“they did? Was Barty freaking out or something.” Sirius laughed. Pomfrey looked at him weirdly. “um.. no dear.. Remus and James came to see you. they were the boys that helped you come here.”

Sirius froze. “what?”

“yes love. are you-“ Pomfrey started but quickly got cut off by Sirius. “Can I just take my potion and go? I just wanna see my brother.”

Pomfrey frowned for a minute but sighed “yes yes alright.”

She gave him their potion and told them to take it once a day for a week. He nodded and gave her a hug. “thank you poppy.”

she nodded and smiled at him. He opened the doors and saw his ex and his ex best friend waiting outside. They quickly walked the other way and heard their name being called several times.

They ignored it and walked down to the dungeons. a hand pulled on their arm and they yanked it out of their grip. “hey! let go!”

“sirius!” Remus said. “Let go.” Sirius said. they let him go, “what do you want? I thought you guys made it clear you clearly want nothing to do with me.”

Remus and James just stared at them. “Why did you leave?” James asked. Sirius looked at him in disbelief. “you’re kidding right?”

“Sirius-“

“You told me to leave James! you said to yourself that I don't belong there. that it was all my fault. that everything was my fault. and when I explained to you the truth, you didn't trust me.” Sirius cried out “you didn’t even process the truth or you wait to think that just maybe i’m telling the truth.”

James tried to reach out for them but they backed away. “I left because the slytherins took me in. they loved me when you hated me. And I don't blame you, but you could at least try to understand that there’s always a reason for these things i do.”

“Pads-“ Remus starts “you don’t get to call me that. none of you do.”

“What do you want now?” Sirius asked, rubbing their temples. “We miss you.”

“It's been a few weeks since you guys last saw me. What do you mean you miss me?” Sirius said. “Sirius.. it’s been 2 months.”

oh shit. Time goes by fast. “oh.”

“yeah. We miss you because overtime we realize we made a huge mistake letting you go. we didn’t believe you because we were in disbelief and we didn’t wanna be wrong. we understand now and we just want to… we just want you to come back.” James said sympathetically. Remus nodded and slowly walked towards them.

“i love you si-“ he gets cut off. “no. no you guys don’t get to do that. you don’t get to just.. waltz right back into my life. no. i won’t allow it.” he said, stepping away. “i have enough respect for myself to not fall for your guys tricks.”

“It's not a prank or a trick.” Remus said. “Maybe not but I will not forgive you so easily. Besides, I can't go back to you. you already know i'm in slytherin now.”

“We can fix it. just please let us be there again.” James said. Remus nodded “let us make it up to you.”

Sirius looked at them both and shook their head. “no.” They walked off and went inside the slytherin commodores.

James and Remus stand there in disbelief. “What did we do?”

Sirius walks in and the portrait closes behind them. They say hi to a few students and walk into their room with everybody. Regulus gets up and turns around. “Sirius. what’s happened?”

“I got punched in the face by Snape and then my ex best friend and boyfriend wanted to know if I could go back to them because they miss me.” Sirius said nonchalantly. Everyone stood up and looked at him. they gave them a look which read ‘you better not have’

“don’t worry, I rejected them. I don't care anymore." Sirius scoffed. small tears were filling up in the corner of their eyes.

He did care. That's why it hurts. They loved them so much but they will never love him the way he did. oh he wanted so badly to jump right back into Remus’ arms. but he couldn’t.

He abandoned him. who said he wouldn’t do that to them again? “Siri.” Dora pulled him out of their thoughts. she wiped a tear off his face and frowned.

“i-i’m sorry. I don't know what’s happened.” Sirius stuttered. They didn’t understand why they were crying. all they knew is that they just needed their friends. They walked over to Regulus and hugged him tightly.

Regulus put his arms around his brother tightly. “Do you need us to talk to them?” Regulus whispered. Sirius said nothing. They just cried.

Right now Sirius seems dramatic. but realistically they really are suffering.

They feel like anything they do is just bad. they feel like whatever they do to try and make things right they always make things worse. for their brother. their friends. and parents.

The hardships of being the eldest are having the biggest responsibilities growing up. Sirius disobeyed mother and suffered so many consequences. But they only tolerated their mother for Regulus.

In this universe Sirius couldn’t live without Regulus. He’d rather die than leave him.

his mother has owled Sirius a couple of times since he’s got resorted. Let's just say she was very very happy.

but what scared him the most is the fact that when he comes home for break. he will be taking the dark mark, this is something he didn’t tell Regulus.

They didn’t tell Regulus only because he would go through the hardship of trying to find ways to prevent this situation. but there was no way.

he was gonna take it. but only because this was the only way to protect his baby brother. The break was in a few weeks so they had time to prepare themselves. they prayed that they wouldn’t make Regulus watch them take the mark.

“Sirius?” Regulus snapped them into reality. Sirius looked at him confused. “you zoned out. Do you need us to say anything to them?”

Sirius shook their head no. “It's okay. they just caught me off guard.” Regulus shook their head and looked at Barty.

“snape.” That's all Regulus said and Barty stormed off. Sirius didn’t care if he’d beat up Snivellus. He honestly deserved it.

Sirius went to sit on his bed and used his wand to take off his makeup. “I'm just gonna take a cold shower,” Sirius said. They walked to the bathroom and slowly closed the door.

Everyone looked at each other and gave each other a worried look. It's been weeks since Sirius has felt this sadness. The last time they were this upset was when Remus and James basically told them they meant nothing to them. (and when Remus officially broke up with them through a letter.)

Sirius turned on the shower and just sat down on the shower floor. They were so tired. tears fell out of their face just a tad when thinking about the boys.

they missed them. a lot. but they loved their friends now. They saved them in the best way possible.

they didn’t know. they sighed and turned off the shower. they had been clean for 1 week.

1 week turned into 10 seconds clean in the minimum of 5 minutes.

They got out of the shower and saw that the girls had left and the boys were in their beds waiting for Sirius. “Hey little star. everything okay?” Barry asked. Sirius nodded and smiled.

“Just a long day.” Sirius mumbled and sat down drying their hair. Regulus sat down with them and asked “did you get your studies done?”

Sirius just nodded and yawned once more. “Let's go to Hogsmeade tomorrow.” Regulus said “so we can get your mind off of today.”

Sirius agreed and lied down. “Goodnight Reg” regulus smiled and said goodnight back.

Barty and Evan were already passed out and snoring softly. Regulus turned off the small lights and closed his curtains. same with Sirius.

As soon as they closed their eyes they fell asleep.

The next morning came quickly. Sirius woke up pretty early but stayed in bed. They got up a couple times to use the restroom but had been in bed all morning.

He felt the curtain shift a little and he looked who was peeking over at them. It was Dorcas. “hey. everyone has gone downstairs to get breakfast.”

he nodded. The last time he got out was when everyone was still in bed asleep.

“What time is it?” Sirius asked. “It's almost 11.” Sirius nodded and put on a sweater and some low waisted jeans. this wasn’t his official outfit of the day of course. but he just put on something quick.

they fixed their hair a bit, when the hair wasn’t turning out the way they wanted it to they were gonna literally bury themselves back into bed and never come back.

Sirius NEEDED their hair to be perfect. no matter where they are or where they’re going it needs to be PERFECT.

“Siriuss c'mon! it’s just breakfast.” Dorcas said, pulling on his arm. Sirius violently turned around and looked at her like she had 3 heads.

“cas. my hair. needs to be. perfect.” he said in a weirdly scary tone. She looked at him and slowly backed away. “I'm gonna get reggie..”

Sirius was screaming into their hands. they felt like they were dying. maybe they were being dramatic but if their hair wasn’t perfect, then there was no way they would go anywhere with bad hair.

They heard the door open and footsteps. The bathroom door opened and his little brother was staring at him in disbelief. “you’re seriously having a breakdown over your fucking hair?”

“yes!” Sirius pouted. “it’s just breakfast siri..” Dorcas sighed. Sirius shook their head. “It doesn't mean that I can't look pretty.”

“Siri, you already are pretty. don’t kid yourself now.” Dorcas smiled at them. Regulus sighed and came up behind him. “I'll do your hair.”

Sirius sighed and let Regulus do his magic.

10 minutes later Sirius's hair looked absolutely beautiful. they were in awe. “Reggie, do my hair more often now please.” Sirius begged.

Regulus laughed and slapped their arm “shut up and come down stairs.”

They followed after Regulus and Dorcas. They met up with the group. breakfast was almost over but Sirius wasn’t that hungry anyway. “What took you so long?” Barry asked. Regulus pointed at Sirius. “he was freaking out about his hair.

Sirius pouted “hey! my hair needs to be perfect.” the group laughed at their reaction. “hey so when are we going to hogsmeade today?” Barty asked, stuffing his face with another biscuit.

“Maybe a little bit after lunch.” Regulus said. “Sirius needs to study a bit more before we go.” Pandora nodded and smiled.

“noo! why can’t we just take a day off?” Sirius whined. Pandora laughed and put her head on his shoulder. “you’ll live.”

Sirius pouted. “We only have to do DA today. you’ve done everything else yesterday.” Dora said smiling. “It's still too much.”

“lazy arse..” Marlene mumbled. “hey!” Sirius said and threw a piece of bacon at her face. she gasped “what the fuck?”

Sirius laughed but then gasped as he saw Marlene pick up a biscuit. “You bitch!” Marlene laughed and got up to chase him. Sirius squeaked and got up to run away.

Marlene chased him and since she’s a really fast runner she tackled him onto the ground. They laughed at each other's silliness.

they saw someone’s shoes in front of them. Marlene slowly looked up and immediately her face changed. “Marlene? is everything okay what are you-“ Sirius looked up and yet again saw his ex.

Sirius groans and lays back down. Marlene gets up from Sirius and he just lays there like a starfish..

“Lupin.” Marlene said. “Marlene-“

“don’t care. leave Sirius alone. g’day!” she said and started dragging Sirius by his arms. The group ran into the hall wanting to see Marlene kill Sirius but saw her dragging him.

They all made eye contact with Remus. Regulus looked at him up and down. He didn’t give him a stare. He didn’t make it known that he wanted to kill him. He just stared.

Barty however gave him a very dirty look. Pandora was smiling awkwardly nor really knowing what to say or do in this given situation.

Now I know so far you think they all hate Remus for no apparent reason. but that's not true.

Regulus hates him for sure. I mean, he did hurt his brother. but everyone just disliked the way he acted towards the whole situation. Even after Sirius explained to him what happened, Remus being the stubborn motherucker he is, he didn’t wanna believe that he was wrong. same with James.

“hey guys..” Remus said. Pandora nodded at him and looked at everyone else. The tension was very.. intense.

“Guys stop it. c’mon i have to study.” Sirius said, getting up from Marlene’s arms. No one budged.

“Reg!” Sirius whisper-yelled. “stop it. he wasn’t doing anything, let’s just go. please.” Sirius pleaded. Regulus looked at them and scoffed.

“you and your soft spots.” Regulus shook his head and nudged Barty “let’s go.” Barty looked over at Sirius and nodded. He grabbed Evan’s hand and walked away.

Regulus looked back at everyone else. “Everyone go. I'll be behind you.”

“Reg-“ Sirius started but Regulus looked at him. “Aller. Je ne vais rien lui faire.”

Sirius sighed, he walked off. Pandora put her hand on his shoulder and smiled. “Tout ira bien, petite étoile.”

Sirius nodded and left the hall.

Regulus walked up to Remus. “why. After all this time of hurting my brother, you want him back?” Regulus asked calmly. He wasn’t gonna hurt him. He respected his brother's wishes.

“I realized I was wrong.” Remus said truthfully. “After 2 months just now you realized that?” Regulus asked. “He was miserable because YOU left him.” He said pointing at his chest.

Remus didn’t say anything. “if you think i’m gonna let my brother go running back to you, you thought wrong.”

“why do you care about him all of a sudden? it was so obvious you were purposefully ignoring him for years.” Remus snarled. Regulus looked like he was about to go fucking nuts.

“I didn’t ignore him. I was forbidden to talk to him because of our mother. I didn’t want to but I also didn’t wanna get hurt or get my brother hurt.” Regulus scoffed.

“You can’t hate me for making an assumption.” Remus said. “I hate you because you made my brother feel like he was exactly like our mother, which he isn't. He was forced to tell Severus about your little secret or else he would’ve done horrible shit to us.”

“He wasn't being selfish. He was just protecting me.” Regulus said. “if you and potter want my brother to forgive you, then you’re gonna have to do more than spy on him with your stupid fucking map.”

“how do you-“ Remus started but Regulus chuckled “i’m not stupid Lupin. I also know about your little fur problem. before you find another reason to be mad at my brother, no he didn’t tell me. I've known ever since I've come to this stupid school.”

Remus widened his eyes and was just speechless. “anyways. I gotta go, if you wanna make it up to him, you’ve gotta do more than just stare at him and apologize properly.”

Regulus walked away and Remus just stood there. thinking of ideas to make it right for his star.

Sirius was sitting next to Pandora, she was showing him her notes and telling him to copy them so he could study them. Regulus walked into the door.

Sirius looked up and gave him a look. “did you-“

“no i just had a simple talk with him. i didn’t touch him or hurt him don’t worry Siri.”

Sirius nods, “okay.. i trust you.” Sirius said , pandora turns his head towards her. “focus, star.”

Regulus chuckles and sits next to Dorcas whilst Marlene is on the floor next to Dorcas’ legs and practicing her spells.

“hey reg” Dorcas said whilst reading her book. he hummed and laid down on his back. he heard some kissing noises behind him, he turned around and groaned.

he levitated a pillow and tossed it at the gross couple. “Hey!” Barty said, Sirius laughed at them but got slapped again cause Sirius would not pay attention..

“Sirius! pay attention if u wanna go out today.” Dora said bluntly. Sirius pouted and stopped talking. Regulus laughed and started writing down in his journal.

Regulus isn’t really the type to.. let’s say express his feelings. It's hard. like really fucking hard.

The only way he can healthily express them is through his journal. no one has read it, no one will ever read it. not even sirius is allowed.

Regulus went through abuse too, as a kid. but not so much to the point where he was gonna pass out, or bleed to death. Sirius stopped them before it got too far. He would never let them hurt Regulus more than a hex.

“anddd done!” Sirius said and fell backwards on his bed. Pandora laughed and patted his thigh. “good job star. i’m proud of you.” She said sweetly. she stood up and went to the bathroom to freshen up.

“when are we leaving reggie?” Marlene asked, “maybe in an hour or so. i’m journaling right now Marls” Regulus said while writing in his journal. Everyone agreed and went back to what their doing.

An hour later Sirius passed out on his bed. they had no sleep so they let him nap for a while before they left. it wasn’t that late. it was almost 2’oclock.

“siri. wake up. siri.” Marlene shook sirius, he whined and went underneath the covers. Marlene pulled them off of him and tried dragging his arm

“c’monnnn we’re gonna go to hogsmeade now!” Marlene said, Sirius put his head underneath a pillow and murmured ‘go away’

“siriiii” Marlene whined, “c’monnn i wanna gooo, wake. the. fuck. upppp”

Sirius groaned. “5 minutes marls” Marlene grunted and rolled her eyes. she said a short ‘okk’ and left the room. it was obvious if Sirius didn’t go then no one was gonna go. cause Regulus refused to have his brother unsupervised. the last time that happened… it wasn’t a very pretty scene.

Sirius told him all about it but assured him it’s okay and that he was okay. Regulus didn’t believe it. that was the first strike for the marauders.

I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. Regulus had a MASSIVE crush on james during 1st year. He told sirius and Sirius was grateful he told him. James unfortunately didn’t have the same feelings.

Regulus got over it, besides it’s regulus. they got over that and now whenever they talk it’s either about Sirius or Sirius.

Just his brother.

when he found out the Marauders just left Sirius unsupervised when he wasn’t in the best mindset he wanted to genuinely hurt someone.

James and Sirius got into a little fight. no one was in the dorms with them, Remus was tutoring some ravenclaw and peter was on a date with Mary.

James and Sirius were fighting about the fact Sirius had been self harming himself for almost 2 years. It was a coping mechanism to deal with the abuse Walburga was throwing at him.

James being James thought it was a good idea to storm out and leave him there. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIGHT.

I think you can guess what happened next.

anyways back to the storyline…

Marlene walked back downstairs and everyone asked if Sirius was up yet, “he asked for 5 minutes” Everyone nodded and sat back down.

what felt like possibly a year Sirius finally came to the common room. He was wearing cuffed jeans with a cropped band shirt with his infamous leather jacket.

his hair was in a braid, he had on some of his rings and necklaces.

“finally” Regulus says, “took you so long to get ready.”

“i only took 10 minutes, '' Sirius pouted. Everyone laughed and shook their head “more like a year”

Sirius rolled their eyes and shoved their shoulders “leave me alone.”

They all walked out of hogwarts and were smiling at Barty’s dumb jokes and Regulus’ sarcasm. Sirius had their arm connected with Regulus’

they walked into a shop and Sirius really wanted another tattoo. He wanted his constellation tattooed on his hip, he also wanted his brother to get one too. but a constellation of Regulus’ star. so they could match, but he agreed that it didn’t have to be on his hip.

Regulus was hesitant at first but Sirius promised him that if it hurts they’d be right beside one another.

so they did it. and they loved it. everyone else was going through different other shops or waiting outside for the two black brothers.

Regulus was strong throughout. it didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would and he was laughing at Sirius since his brother was making the funniest faces ever. Regulus never laughs much but when he’s with his brother or his friends, he’s always at his happiest.

“Sirius, stop, you're gonna make them mess up” Regilus said in between his chuckles. Sirius sighed and looked at him. “It's fun right?”

Regulus rolled his eyes and smiled “sure.”

Sirius squealed and looked out the window. their smile slowly turns into a frown. Regulus caught it, they looked at where Sirius was looking and saw Remus, James, and Peter walking and laughing.

Sirius sighed and shook their head. Regulus put his hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “stop. look like they're almost done.”

Sirius looked down at their tattoo and smiled “it’s so pretty.” Sirius complimented the artist, they smiled and said a small thank you.

Around 45 minutes later the tattoos were finished. It was very pricey but Sirius took the risk. They both loved it, they let their friends come in before they covered it. “Oh my gosh! it’s so beautiful!!” Pandora squealed, “it’s so cute!” “it suits you!!” Everyone was complimenting the black brothers.

They smiled and laughed at everyone’s reaction. “We need to floo back to hogwarts.” Pandora said smiling, “it’s almost past curfew.”

Everyone nodded and left the shop. They all said thank you and walked out.

They got back to Hogwarts and went inside their dorms. “mm i’m so tired. that tattoo was tiring” Sirius said sitting down stretching their arms. “you literally just sat down?” Evan said. “yeah.. but it was tiring.”

Evan laughed at them and sighed, “I wanna get a tattoo.”

“You should. it’s fun.” Sirius said as he sat up. “you wanna see all of mine?”

Evan nodded, “this is my first one. it’s a dog paw, it hurt a bit but i was a strong mother fucker and went through with it.”

Sirius began explaining all of his 20 tattoos, “this was the one i got before my recent one.it was for Remus, since his nickname is um moony.. I got a tattoo of the moon.” Evan looked at Sirius and smiled softly. “I got it for him. wanted something that reminded me of him, you know?” Sirius smiled and the tattoo on his lower abdomen. “It's pretty, Sirius..” Evan smiled. “I miss him.” Sirius said, sighing. “I know you do. but you just have to be patient and wait. because there’s no way in hell that boy doesn’t love you.” “After what, did you think he still loves me?” Sirius said with tears in the corner of his eyes. “after what he said to you, why does he deserve your love?” “what i did was worse-“ “It's not fair to compare traumas or things you both went through. He hurt you and you hurt him, nothing is worse than that.” Sirius nodded and smiled at Evan. “thanks Roiser.” Evan nods and pats his shoulder “goodnight sirius.” Sirius smiles and lays down. he loved the slytherins more than he thought he did