A Little Star

A few weeks had passed, break had passed. Sirius did not have a good time. Let's just start off with that.

when they walked out of that train and greeted their parents, the abuse at home could not have been the best ‘welcome home’ gift..

it’s nothing they weren’t used to, but it’s not something they wanted to come back home to. and the worst part of it all is that Walburga and Orion were planning on giving him the dark mark during spring break.

fun.

Sirius of course did not like that idea. so when he opened his mouth let’s just say he couldn’t walk for hours on hours.

It was bad, but his mom also threatened him that if he didn’t take it, Regulus would be his replacement.

Sirius being Sirius agreed. Stupid sirius.

Anyways back at hogwarts!

Remus was doing his best to win Sirius back but he needed time.

Over time Sirius had forgiven James. Remus hasn’t talked to Sirius since he saw him and Marlene wrestling. but he does keep watch for him on the map.

The healing for both of the black brothers tattoos went smoothly. Regulus was happy with his tattoo, and happy that his first tattoo was with his brother.

Sirius is sitting down in the slytherin common room, he was reading a book (surprisingly).

It was almost midnight and he just needed peace and quiet. He's been under a lot of stress lately since winter break.

James offered to let him stay before they left but he’d rather die in a hole than be in the same room as his ex. Sirius is in that stage where he thinks he hates Remus.

We all know that isn’t true. Sirius has been trying his best to move on and shag with other people just so he could get his stupid mind off of moony.

Sirius still wore his sweaters that he had stolen from Remus when he wasn’t looking. Or when he needed something to wear because he was cold, or after a shag session the first thing they would take was Remus’ sweater.

They were thinking about giving it back to him but he was stubborn and kept it in his chest in the dorms. He only ever wears it during bed, his friends always ask him about it but he shrugs it off.

Regulus walks in the common room and leans against the wall. “Are you gonna sleep tonight?”

Sirius looked up and shrugged, “I'm not tired. I just wanna read.” Sirius put his blanket over his head and put a bookmark on the page he left off on before he got interrupted by his brother. “You need to sleep. You’ve barely slept for 3 days.”

Sirius just looked into the fireplace, “James had offered you to stay over there before we left. why didn’t you just stay over there, i would have been fine on my own-“

“I didn’t wanna leave you alone again, i didn’t want to leave you.” Sirius whispered, “I need you and you need me. We need each other, I didn't realize that until i got resorted into slytherin.”

“Sirius-”

“You might be fine, but I'm your big brother. I should have been protecting you.” Sirius tearfully said. “I feel like a bad brother. I am a bad brother.”

Regulus walked towards his brother and sat down next to Sirius. “You are not a bad brother. you needed to get out, mum is horrible to you. You needed an out grand frère, it wasn’t your fault.”

another tear fell down their cheek. “I went home with you because i feel like i’ve failed as a brother. so just let me have this, even if you’ve forgiven me i haven’t forgiven myself.”

“okay.” Regulus said. “Come on. Let's go to bed. it’s late, and you have classes tomorrow.” Sirius shook their head “no i have all classes with Moony and we barely talk. even when I hangout with him, James and Peter, we barely speak. He barely says a word to me.”

“you need to go. you’ve missed so many classes, and maybe this is a good time for you guys to speak. you miss him and he probably misses you.

Sirius shook their head “no.”

Regulus shook his head, “you have to. if not now then soon, because i have to be the one that hears you whine about how much you miss him when you’re pissed.”

Sirius groaned “shut up. i do not, and since when were you on his side?”

“I'm not, I'd murder him if you had given me a chance.” Regulus said with a straight face. “But, you should just try to talk to him. maybe it’ll help.”

Sirius thought about it and sighed “fine. but he needs to talk to me first.”

Regulus chuckles “you’re petty.”

“i’m my mothers son, what do you expect?” The black brothers laughed. “Okay I'm tired now.” Sirius yawned and stood up. He grabbed his book and his blanket.

Regulus got up and walked upstairs to the dorm with Sirius behind him. Sirius went to lay down in their bed and before he closed the curtains, “he ťaime Reggie, bonne nuit.”

He didn't wait to hear what Regulus had to say. He passed out before he could listen to anything else.

The next morning Sirius was the first one to get up. He went in the shower and did his makeup. He put on his robes and left the bathroom.

“How are you up so early?” Barty groaned. “I don’t wanna go to class today. let’s just skip.”

“I’ve been skipping too much. I won’t pass our N.E.W.T.S. if I don’t study or do any of the homework.”

“someone wake Reggie up!” Dorcas said as she walked in the dorms “woah! Dorcas! warn a man!” Barty said, covering his waist with a blanket.

“c’mon crouch i’ve known you for years, and i'm a lesbian.”

Dorcas snorted. Sirius sighed “where’s Marlene?”

“She hasn’t woken up yet, I suppose. i’ll meet her at the great hall, anyway wake up your brother we need to go down.”

Sirius shrugged and opened the curtains “wakey wakey little brother.” Regulus groaned, “go away.”

“Reggie, we have classes today.” Sirius said, Regulus shook his head and muttered ‘no’.

Sirius sighed and thought for a moment trying to think of a way to get his little brother out of this bed.

Sirius smirked and grabbed onto his foot and pulled him off the bed. Everyone heard a ‘thunk’ and they all turned around. “what the f-“

“SIRIUS!” they heard Regulus scream. and then a little after they heard Sirius’ little evil giggle.

“i’m gonna fucking kill you i swear to fuck i’m gonna-“ Regulus said chasing them around the beds. “Reg stop!” Sirius said between laughs.

“Guys stop playing around, we need to get breakfast.” Dorcas snorted and threw pillows at the brothers. “Tell that to reggie! He's trying to kill mee” Sirius laughed, “SIRIUS COME HERE!”

Sirius ran out the door, and hid behind the couch. “guys stopp” Dorcas whined “let’s go please.”

“fine.” Regulus said. “we’re gonna deal with this later.” Sirius was laughing and gasping for breath. “Oh my god. that was so scary.”

Dorcas laughed. “go to the great hall. I think Pandora and Marlene are at the table already.” Sirius nodded and left the slytherin common rooms.

They walked into the great hall and sat down next to Pandora, “hey! Where's everyone else?”

“getting ready. i was actually the first one up believe it or not.” Sirius said smiling, Pandora shook her head. “Hey is Marlene here yet?”

“no, I think she’s still getting ready. I've been here for almost 10 minutes.” Pandora said while taking a bite of her apple. Sirius nodded and looked around until he made eye contact with a certain werewolf.

Remus gave him a small smile. Sirius had no facial expression for a moment. and then decided to give in just a bit, he smiled for a second. and looked away.

“there they are.” Pandora said, Sirius looked over at the group and sighed. “finally. took u guys years to come down here.”

“shut up. you usually take longer.” Evan said as he sat on the right of Sirius.

Sirius stuck his tongue out at him and started poking at his food. their relationship with food still hadn’t gotten better but he was trying.

he would eat a piece of fruit here and there but that was it. the group encouraged him to eat more and he’d try but the most he would eat was one whole apple.

“Reg what happened to you?” Pandora asked, sirius slowly looked up and saw Regulus’ hair in a messy bun and wearing his glasses. (he usually wore contacts..)

“Ask my brother.” Regulus said with a mouthful of food. Sirius stifled a chuckle, which was a bad idea because Regulus gave them one of his popular glares. note to self:

Never mess with a tired Regulus.

Sirius sighed and started braiding little pieces of hair that were in his face, “I need to cut my hair a bit.”

“why? I like your hair!” Pandora pouted, “I like braiding it.”

“I didn't mean to chop it all off, I just want a little trim..” Sirius said, “maybe like up to here?” he pointed at his shoulder. His hair was already going down his chest and they wanted to trim it a bit.

Regulus nodded and said, “i’ll cut it”

“no.” Sirius said quickly. “After this morning I'm scared you’re gonna shave it all off.”

Everyone laughed at Sirius’ horrified look when Regulus volunteered to cut it off. “Siri, I'm not gonna shave it. I promise I'll just give you a trim.” Regulus rolled his eyes, “besides, I'm the only one in the group that can actually cut hair.”

Sirius pouted and gave in, “fine. but just a trim please.” Regulus nodded and cleared his throat.

“okay let’s go back i need to fix my hair and put my contacts in. i look like shite”

Everyone nodded and got up to go back to the dungeons. Sirius was about to follow them but then a tap on his shoulder, he turned around and saw Remus.

“oh. hi.” Sirius said surprised, “did you need something?”

Remus just stood there. He barely said anything, he just stood there.

“Remus?”

Sirius was awkwardly smiling at him and didn’t really know what else to say or do.

“hey pad- i mean Sirius. Do you have time to talk?” Remus said nervously. Sirius turned around and saw Barty and Regulus waiting up for him.

“Maybe after charms? I’m free after that.” Sirius said, Remus nods and smiles, “that works for me.”

Sirius nodded and turned around to meet up with their friends. Remus stood there and cursed to himself, even though Remus has grown up to six feet he’s still that awkward, scrawny little kid Sirius met on the train in their first year.

Barty was looking at remus and gave him the ‘i’ll kill him” look.

“Barty, you look cross eyed.” Sirius said as he walked past them, Barty turned around and scoffed.

“Excuse me?” Sirius laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek, “it's okay. you don’t have to protect me”

Regulus rolled his eyes and put an arm around Sirius, “let’s just go, we have classes to get to.”

Ever since break 3 weeks ago, Sirius has been on edge.

Knowing that they had to take the dark mark in order to protect his brother was painful. Sirius would do anything for his brother. Everyone knows that by now.

Regulus doesn’t know that he promised his parents that he’ll take the dark mark just as long as they leave Regulus be.

most breaks sirius would spend it with James. But he would go back to the house of black when asked to.

Sirius may hate the way that his family treats him and his brother but it’s still his family. of course he’ll argue and fight them, but in the end he will always listen.

That's the saddest part of being in an abusive family. no matter how many times they hurt you or make you feel like you’ll never be enough, you will always love them. That's what hurts. That's what sucks.

Being the oldest hurts, same with being the youngest.

being the youngest you will always be second place. you always have to live up to your oldest siblings standards.

but in this case, Sirius has to live up to Regulus’ standards. Regulus was ‘perfect’ in their parents eyes. but that was only because Regulus never fought back.

He was scared. He’s still a little boy, in sirius’ eyes Regulus is still the same little boy that was scared to check under the bed for monsters.

He’s grown now but.. We all know he’s scared.

They haven’t talked about break much, it’s hard to.

Sirius barely sleeps. He eats a bit better now but that’s just because he’s trying for his brother and friends.

Sirius and James have talked a bit, they’ve had a couple of laughs and hung out during a free period if the both weren’t busy.

Peter tags along sometimes, Remus as well. But Remus is always quiet. He just likes to sit down and hear everyone talk; but whenever Sirius laughs it’s like the only thing he can really hear.

everything just goes silent, when he looks into Sirius’ eyes. when he hears his little giggle, their smile, their rings and piercings. their tattoos.

he would get pushed back into reality after getting shoved by peter and him asking if he was okay. he would nod and read his book.

“Reggie! we only have like 5 minutes left! we have to gooo” Sirius said knocking on the bathroom door.

“shut up! my hair isn’t done yet!”

“Let me do it then! we need to go, you're gonna be late!” Pandora said next to Sirius. “fine! Dora get in here then!” Regulus unlocked the door and pandora quickly went inside.

“guysss i need to go” Sirius whines, then a knock on the door.

sirius lazily got up and opened the door. “oh hello.” Sirius said to the random slytherin at the door. “hi sirius! um Lupin is waiting for you outside the commoners.”

Sirius looked at him confused, “Remus Lupin?” The slytherin nodded. “okay. tell him i’ll be done in a second.”

The slytherin nodded and walked off. Sirius closed the door and shrieked. Everyone jumped and turned to look at Sirius. “what happened?” Marlene asked.

“Remus is waiting for me.” Sirius said in shock, he was trying to be cool about it but he was literally a tomato.

Dorcas scowled, “don’t scare us like that black. nearly gave poor Evan a heart attack.”

Pandora and Regulus walked out of the bathroom. “what happened?”

“Remus wants to walk with Sirius to class.” Barty said with a monotone voice. Regulus raised an eyebrow, “he did now?”

Sirius nodded, “should i-“

everyone looked at them like they were stupid, “yes! of course you should.” Pandora squealed. “you’ll finally make up after weeks and months of making googly eyes at each other.”

Sirius covered their face and smiled. “okay. are you guys okay with-“

“Yes star! just go!” Marlene said and shoved him, “we’ll see you during free period. Now go!”

Sirius walked downstairs and opened the portrait door.

He saw Remus waiting with a book in his hand and a pencil sitting on his left ear. He had his everyday ring on his right hand sitting down on his middle finger.

Remus looked up and smiled. “hey.”

“hi.” Sirius smiled, “let’s go?”

“yeah.” Remus smiled, they walked side by side. their hands would touch each other a few times but they shook it off.

They had a couple of laughs, and shared a few jokes.

“I missed you.” Remus confessed, Sirius looked over at him with a confused expression. “I hangout with you sometimes.”

“I know. I mean- I just- I don't know what i’m saying.” Remus sighed, Sirius chuckled. “It's okay. I missed talking to you too.

Remus smiles, “how's the slytherin dormitory?”

“amazing. it’s cold in there since we’re placed in the dungeons but.. it’s amazing.”

Remus smiled and nodded. “That's good to hear.”

“How was your break?” Sirius asked, “it was boring. not the same without you-“ Remus stopped himself and blushed.

Sirius softly hit his arm, “you’re a sap.”

Remus pouted, “ouch.”

Sirius rolled their eyes, “I barely hit you.”

“I know. I just wanted to be dramatic.”

Sirius rolled their eyes, “why did you wait for me at the dungeons? you know we could’ve talked during our free period.”

“I know, but I just wanted to talk to you. couldn’t stay away from you any longer.” Remus smiles, Sirius blushed and scoffed.

“shut up.” Sirius said and Remus laughed. They went into their class and started listening to their professor.

A few hours pass, and a long day of classes. Finally, it’s their free period.

Sirius told everyone that Remus wanted to be with Sirius during their free period so that they could talk. They agreed and said they’d see them for lunch.

They were walking past the lake and they sat down near a tree, Sirius was laughing at a funny joke Remus made. Remus looked at them and just admired them.

Sirius saw him staring and blushed, “what are you staring at moons?”

“you.” Remus said with no hesitation. “i’m sorry Sirius. I’m sorry I didn't believe you.”

Sirius smiled at him and rested their hand on his cheek, “I forgave you a while ago Remus.”

“you shouldn’t have.”

“You shouldn’t have forgiven me either. I did something unforgivable.”

Remus frowned, “it wasn’t entirely your fault. you were forced to tell the truth. I'm sorry.”

Sirius smiled softly, “I still did it. we both know that it was still wrong i said anything at all.”

“We were both in the wrong Moony. Let’s stop blaming ourselves, okay?” Sirius said with a soft smile on their face, “it’s over.”

Remus nodded and grabbed the hand that was resting on his cheek. “are you willing to give us another shot?”

Sirius smiled and nodded, “yes.”

people don’t stop and think about how hard it is to not forgive someone you’ve been in love with since 2nd year.

even after they’ve hurt you or said horrible things to you or about you, you’ll always end up crawling back to them. In sirius’ case, he’ll always go back to Remus Lupin. Nothing will ever compare to their moony.

sirius leaned up and kissed him. Remus was shocked but immediately kissed him back.

Finally, Sirius finally got their moon back.

Sirius wrapped their arms around Remus and climbed into his lap, Remus gripped onto his waist and smiled into the kiss. they were making out in public, which is something they would have never done.

Remus pulled away from the kiss and just hugged Sirius.

Sirius, who was out of breath, rested his face on top of Remus’ head, they giggled and kissed his head. “I missed this.”

“me too.”