Better Ridiculous Than Boring (Drabbles)

“Did you steal it?” Greg asked, frowning over his glass. Theo snorted from his place next to him on the bench. 

“His name is Finn, and no, I did not steal him.” Draco replied evenly. “I’m watching him for Granger whilst she visits her parents.”

“Seriously?” Greg blinked in surprise, glancing across the garden of the pub to where Finn was sitting on one of the swings, Draco’s magic pushing him back and forth. “Of all the people to leave him with, she trusted you?” 

“It’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen, mate. He’s at her beck and call, day and night, and she barely spares him a second glance. He thinks he’s playing the long game, but he’s just being played.” Theo replied. “She’s praying on his guilt to get free child care.” 

“Not everything is transactional. We’re friends and she needed help with her son. It’s no more complicated than that. Nobody is playing any games, Theo.” Draco said, his eyes on Finn. 

“I keep telling you, she doesn’t know you like her. She just thinks you’re being nice, as if you’d do the things you do for her for anyone.” Blaise chimed in, stepping outside with three more pints and two lemonades. “You need to be straight with her.” 

“Gods, you really like her, don’t you? Look at you, you’re almost nervous! Who would have thought it would be the Golden Girl that finally knocked you down a peg or two. It was about time you fell for a witch that didn’t immediately get on her knees for you.” Greg grinned, as the others laughed. 

“Finn, mate!” Theo called, and the boy ran across to them. “There you go. Don’t tell your mum we gave you that.” He said, placing one of the lemonades in front of him as he sat on the bench next to Draco. 

“Have we got the same?” Finn asked. Draco nodded. It had been a few years since he stopped drinking. After the war, he’d spent all of his time at least a little drunk, and eventually, he’d realised he couldn’t carry on like that.

“It’s a more refined drink for upstanding gentlemen such as ourselves.” 

Finn frowned. “So Theo…isn’t?” 

“Merlin no.” Theo replied, and Blaise chuckled. 

“This is Greg. He went to school with us too.” Draco pointed out the tall man Finn hadn’t met before. Finn gave a shy wave. 

“Hello.” The boy said. “You’ve got pictures on your arms.”

Greg blinked, looking vaguely bewildered. “Yes, I do.” 

“I like them.” Finn replied, before picking up the glass carefully in both hands and taking a small sip. “I like this, too.” He stared at the bubbles. 

“Granger’s parents are muggle teeth healers so she’s militant about sugar.” Blaise explained, and Greg snorted. 

“You’re corrupting him already?” 

“Obviously. We’ve only got so much time to steer him towards the only proper Hogwarts house. Poor kid’s only been around gryffindors up until now.” Theo smirked. 

“Mummy said you were a snake.” Finn said, and Theo snorted loudly. 

“She’s told you about the houses at our old school?” Draco asked, and Finn nodded. “Well, Mummy and her friends were all in gryffindor. They wear red and value bravery over everything else, they’re like lions. Us, though, we were in slytherin. We wore green, and the house was represented by a snake.” 

“We’re cunning and erudite and ambitious.” Theo added. Finn frowned as he digested the information. 

“What about Teddy? He said he wants to be a hufflepuff.” He asked, and they grimaced involuntarily. 

“There are four houses you can be sorted into. Ravenclaw for the really clever people, and hufflepuff for everyone else.” Blaise said, and Draco shot him a withering look. 

“Hufflepuff’s are supposed to be kind and loyal.” He explained to Finn, who took another careful sip of his lemonade. 

“What about Daddy? Which one was he in?” He asked. 

“Your father didn’t go to Hogwarts, Finn. He doesn’t have magic like us.” Draco replied, ignoring Greg’s raised eyebrows. “You don’t want to be like him anyway. He wasn’t very nice to Mummy.”

Granger hadn’t told many people the story of Finn’s father. Even though Draco knew most of it, he’d gotten the impression that she’d hidden the worst from him. Probably so he wouldn’t hunt the muggle bastard down and toss his body in the nearest lake. That was sensible foresight on her part.

“Can I be in slytherin then? Like all of you? Because you’re really nice to Mummy and I want to be like that.” He said after a moment. Theo spat out his mouthful of beer, turning away just in time as it sprayed across the garden. Blaise and Greg were both laughing, and even Draco failed to contain his smile. 

“Of course, you can. We’ll make a fine snake of you yet.” He replied. 

“I’m going to tell Mummy that I want to be the best snake ever.” Finn grinned widely. 

“Can I be there when you do?” Theo asked.

A few days later, as he received the owl from Granger containing only the words “We need to talk.”, he smiled. 

All those years later, when he received an owl saying that Finn Granger-Malfoy had, indeed, been sorted in slytherin, he smiled once more. He didn’t even mind as his wife launched a cushion directly at his head.