Better Ridiculous Than Boring (Drabbles)

Stringing the fairy lights across her garden didn’t make Hermione feel better, even if they cast a gentle, warm glow across the space. She loved all of the children in her care, whether she was godmother to them or not, but that didn’t ease the sense that she’d been left behind. She was 32 years old, the oldest in her friendship group, and was single, childless, and in a job that didn’t bring her the joy it once had. Here she was, on Valentine’s Day, throwing a party for ten children so that their parents could go out and not worry about their kids for once. She’d put up a sheet to act as a screen, and was going to show these magical children a good old-fashioned muggle film. Of course, Harry’s kids knew what a film was, but she knew they’d enjoy it anyway. She’d made eight tubs of popcorn, and one bowl of grapes for the fussiest children to share. Scorpius and Albus were very much attached at the hip, and she said a silent prayer every day that once they started Hogwarts, they’d be in the same house. Hermione had grown to be quite protective of those two especially, with them being much more shy than the rest of the group, despite being among the oldest.

Neville Longbottom was to blame for all of this. When he’d turned up at Friday drinks all those years ago and announced that he was going to be the next Hogwarts herbology professor, it hadn’t really been too much of a shock. A year later, when he’d turned up at Friday drinks with Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy behind him, it had been far more of a shock. Hermione had learned over the course of the night that Malfoy taught potions at Hogwarts, and had become good friends with Neville surprisingly quickly. With Hermione working in the book shop a few units down from Parkinson Florals, she’d known that Pansy was a florist, but she hadn’t known that apparently Neville had been a regular visitor throughout the year, and the two had fallen for each other. She’d been wary at first, and it had been admittedly quite awkward, but over time, she came to see what Neville saw, and Hermione found she had a fair amount in common with the two. Where one slytherin went, the rest were sure to follow, and so it wasn’t long before their group expanded to include Theo Nott, Blaise Zabini, and Daphne Greengrass. It had been fun at first, having more people to go out with. Ginny and Pansy were strikingly similar, and Hermione revelled in having Theo and Malfoy to discuss books with, something that her other friends had never really been too interested in. Ron quickly got over his initial distrust once a weekly quidditch pick-up match was instigated, with Ginny consistently showing up the boys every week. Theo would join Hermione, Pansy, and Daphne on the ground, often sipping on Pansy’s incredibly strong cocktails as they watched the others play. Hermione hadn’t really noticed that she’d become the designated babysitter until much later, but that was because she honestly didn’t mind. She loved looking after the children, she really did, but as she got older, she became more aware of the fact that she was the only one of her friends who was not a parent. Harry and Ginny were happily married, as were Ron and Susan, Daphne and Blaise, and Pansy and Neville. Draco and Theo were both single, but very happy being serial daters, leaving Scorpius and Mila with Hermione every other week to go out with another pretty witch, or in Theo’s case, sometimes wizard. Hermione just didn’t have the energy. She worked her hours at the bookshop, and then came home, usually to look after at least one of her friend’s kids. The loneliness was worse at night, knowing that she was likely the only one going to sleep alone. It consumed her soul, and made her wonder how she’d arrived at this point.

With all of the children happily situated in the garden, and all of her friends off on dates, Hermione slumped in her chair and started the film. Most of the kids were enraptured, even the Potters to whom it wasn’t new, and she smiled at how something so simple could be, for want of a better word, magical. Scorpius, who was leaning against the leg of her chair, offered her his bowl of grapes, and she smiled in thanks as she grabbed one. James was right up at the front, with Ron and Susan’s children, Matilda (or Tilly, as she insisted on being called) and Robin next to him. Lily Potter was sitting with Pansy and Neville’s twins, August and Willow. Blaise and Daphne’s son Luca was sharing his blanket with Theo’s daughter Mila, and then, at the back beside Hermione, were Scorpius and Albus. Hermione felt a little silly feeling jealous of these children. Her own childhood had been quite lonely, being an only child and feeling like she couldn’t associate with the muggles with whom she had little in common. Then, she came into the wizarding world, and was immediately made to feel exactly the same. It was as if she didn’t really fit anywhere. Too magical for the muggles, too muggle for the wizards. She was happy that these children would never experience that, they would always have each other.

Glancing down at Scorpius’ blonde hair, she slightly regretted turning down Malfoy’s offer to stay. He’d offered to cancel on his date to stay with her and the children, and she’d insisted on him going. Her stupid crush on the man had hit her out of nowhere. It didn’t help that his son was so bloody adorable, but it had quickly become obvious that, out of the influence of his father, the man was kind, generous, and inconveniently good-looking. He was excellent with children, thriving as a professor, and had somehow wormed his way into her heart. Ginny was convinced he liked her back, and had told her so after one night where Hermione had gotten too drunk and spilled her secrets to her ginger friend. She didn’t dare ask any of the slytherins, because she knew they’d just go and tell Malfoy what she’d said, and then she’d need to abscond to an island somewhere to start a new life with a new identity. She’d always liked the name Ivy. Perhaps her hair would be blonde, or she could go full Weasley and pick ginger. She supposed she’d cross that bridge when she came to it, if she ever came to it.

As soon as the film finished, Hermione was bombarded with questions. With all of the children being purebloods, aside from Mila who was a half-blood after Theo’s adventure into the muggle practice of surrogacy, they had plenty of things to ask. Once she’d passed the interrogation (‘no, the people aren’t trapped inside the projector’, ‘no, they don’t need rescuing’), she suggested a game of quidditch, to which they all readily agreed. Ginny and Blaise had invented the children’s game a few years ago, with brooms limited to far slower speeds and much lower heights, and it was the only version Hermione was willing to play. Tonight, however, she was able to keep her feet on the ground as the teams were five a piece. They always played gryffindor vs slytherin, which made Hermione feel a bit bad for Susan, who was always left to represent hufflepuff on her own. The witch rarely played, however, and on the occasions that she did, she was happy to be an honorary gryffindor to match her husband and children. James, Lily, Tilly, Robin, and August were the red team, and Scorpius, Albus, Luca, Mila, and Willow were the greens. With the age range from 10 down to 5, Hermione was always telling James to play nicely. To his credit, he was usually gentle with the younger kids, even if he was gentle in no other aspects of his life.

“I was rather hoping to see you on a broom. It’s always so much fun to see you that uncomfortable.” Malfoy appeared at her shoulder, making her jump.

“Merlin, Malfoy, how do you creep up on people like that? Why are you back so early?” He simply smiled, and dragged her down onto one of the larger bean bags. She briefly paused at the image of Draco Malfoy sitting on the floor, something he usually refused to do, but he looked like he had something to say, so she didn’t tease him about it.

“So, I might have lied a bit. I didn’t have a date tonight.” He said, and she raised an eyebrow at him, briefly glancing over to make sure the children were still alright. The floating scoreboard told her that slytherin were winning, but she could have worked that out from James’ displeased face. “I was with McGonagall.”

She smirked. “I didn’t realise she was your type?” He shot her a withering look, before continuing.

“Minerva wanted to talk to me about moving to another role. Sweetleaf continues to be a hapless fool, and she’s looking to replace him.”

“Well, you’re an excellent teacher, Malfoy. Defence against the dark arts will be an exciting change for you. Congratulations.” She smiled, and he shook his head.

“I turned it down. I love potions, that’s what I need to be doing. I did, however, float an idea by her.” He turned to Hermione with a scheming look in his eye, and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“I know that face. I get uneasy when I see that face.”

“Granger, have you ever thought about teaching?” He asked, and she gaped.

“Me? You can’t be serious. I’m not that good with kids, Malfoy.” He barked out a laugh, and looked at her with unbridled mirth in his eyes.

“You’re joking, right? There are ten kids over there that would disagree wholeheartedly with you. My son spends all of his time talking about you, I’m sure the rest do too. You are bloody excellent with children, Granger, you cannot use that as an excuse. Look, it’s not something you have to do if you don’t want to, but you are entirely wasted in your job now, and I can see it doesn’t make you happy. I think you’d be great at teaching. I don’t want to lie to you, though, so I will say that I did have another reason to recommend you for the position.” He looked a little nervous, and avoided her gaze as he watched the children flying around the garden.

“And what’s that?” She asked.

“I bumped into the Potters earlier, and Ginevra was somehow already completely inebriated, and she might have told me something she shouldn’t have. She was really quite cross with me for being out on a date tonight.” Hermione’s stomach dropped.

“Why would it matter to her?” She asked, her tone betraying her completely.

“Because I wasn’t out on a date with you.” He said, looking at her again.

Hermione sighed. “Look, I don’t want to make this weird, we can just pretend she didn’t say anything. It doesn’t matter.”

“If that’s what you want, but I think it might be prevalent to let you know that I fell in love with you quite a long time ago now, and I was going to ask you out tonight, but I lost my nerve because I thought you’d say no.” She sat up and looked at him, mouth open in shock.

“You what?”

He smirked. “That’s why I was hoping you’d want to take the professor position. Because I’d get to see you a whole lot more, and I wouldn’t have to spend quite so much time finding flimsy excuses to come and see you.”

“What?” She repeated, not entirely believing she was awake.

“You should have seen me after Ginny told me you liked me. I practically sprinted back here.”

“But all the dates you go on? When I look after Scorp and Mila?”

“Yeah, er, me and Theo just go to Nott Manor and drink our way through his father’s whiskey collection. I haven’t been on a date since Pansy forced me to go out with that woman after her baby shower.”

“That was seven years ago.” Hermione deadpanned.

“Was it? Doesn’t time fly.” He said innocently. She scoffed.

“Malfoy, you cannot be serious.”

“I’ve liked you since you hit me in the face in third year, if I’m honest. I just never knew what to do with those feelings, so I didn’t do anything at all. I’m sorry, Granger.”

“Third year?! You mean we could have been…This entire time? Merlin, Malfoy.” She buried her head in her hands and groaned. He snorted slightly.

“Hey Granger?" He said after a moment. "Do you want to be my valentine’s date?”

She looked up at him and laughed. “Yes, I would like that.”

“Excellent. And all of the days after that?” He raised an eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes. “Those too, I suppose.”