Handcuffs and Misogyny
“Oi, Malfoy, wake up.” Ron hissed across the cell as the blonde wizard groaned slightly.
“Shut the fuck up, Weasley.” He replied, and Ron sighed loudly.
“Malfoy, open your bloody eyes.” He said flatly, and Draco sat up suddenly.
“Where are we?” Draco asked, looking around the dank cell they were both sitting in. He observed they were both also handcuffed, dampening their magic.
“We’ve been kidnapped, dearest!” Theo yelled. He sounded far away, as if he was in another cell down the hall.
“Nott? That you?” Ron called back.
“Certainly is, Weasley. Are you both well? I’m having a lovely day so far.” He said sarcastically, and Draco rolled his eyes.
“Is Potter with you, Theo?” Draco asked.
“No, he isn’t, but Malfoy? I’m here with Scorp!” Harry replied, sounding closer than Theo.
“Scorp? Scorpius, are you alright?” Draco became agitated, and Ron shot him a look that said ‘calm down’.
“Yes, Dad! I’m with Uncle Harry!” His son replied in an oddly cheerful voice, considering the situation. Draco huffed at the use of ‘uncle’, but was relieved to know his son wasn’t alone.
“Is anyone else here? Make thyself known!” Theo called, and was met with silence. “Seems we’re on a lads trip, gentlemen. Are you alright, Harry? I’ll disembowel the first person I see if they touched you.”
“Please don’t, Theo, it’s entirely unnecessary. I’m fine. Are you ok?”
“Just perfect, my love. I am very thoroughly tied up, which seems a little rude, if I’m honest, but nothing I’ve not experienced before, eh Potter?”
“Not in front of my child please, Theodore.” Draco growled, and Ron snorted. He shot him a glare, and Ron simply smiled.
“We’re only handcuffed, what about you and Scorp, Harry?” The ginger man called.
“Same. Scorp’s aren’t the same as mine, though, different markings.” He replied.
“They won’t be magically dampening ones, they don’t work on children when their magic is still unstable.” Draco replied.
“You seem to be quite familiar with the intricacies of handcuffs, Drakey. Is the Malfoy marital bed looking less empty these days?” Theo asked, and Ron laughed again.
“Theo, we will leave you here. I will escape and leave you here, and not feel bad about it.” He said flatly.
“How the hell did you do that?!” Harry suddenly exclaimed. “Malfoy! Your kid’s escaped his cuffs!” Draco smiled proudly, despite himself.
“Mione’s been teaching me wandless magic!” Scorpius said happily.
“Oh, Mione has been teaching you, has she?” Theo drawled, and Ron looked at Draco quizzically.
“Can we not do this now?” Draco groaned, and Ron went wide eyed.
“You’ve been shagging Mione? You dark horse, Malfoy. How the bloody hell did you pull that off?” He said incredulously, and Draco glared at him.
“They’ve been on three dates.” Scorpius said, suddenly standing outside the cell.
“Scorp? How did you get out?!” Draco asked, staring at his son in shock.
Scorpius shrugged. “Door wasn’t locked.”
“What sort of amateurish kidnappers have we been taken by?! Oh, hello love.” Theo said, as Harry apparently entered his just-as-unlocked cell.
“Is there a way to get these cuffs off, Malfoy?” Harry called.
“There will be an unlocking rune, you have to carve a unique one each time. Like a password on those muggle intonets machines.”
“A computer, yeah I get it. And the chances of guessing the rune are…?”
“Zero. Well, if you were incredibly fluent in the runic alphabet, you might have half a chance, but it would still take hours to crack. So in your case, Potter, zero.”
“Mione could do it.” Scorpius mumbled, as he sat down next to his dad.
“You know, gentlemen, you’ve pleasantly surprised me. I thought it would take you a lot longer to get to this point.” A voice drawled, and Draco instinctively pushed Scorpius behind him. Ron, to his credit, also moved so the two men were between him and the door.
“Get away from him. Who the hell even are you?” Harry said, and the man laughed.
“Harry Potter-Nott. How the mighty fall. You’re not nearly as impressive in person as the stories make out.”
“I’d beg to differ.” Theo said, still maintaining his classic bravado. The mystery man exhaled.
“Theodore Potter-Nott. Your reputation precedes you. You’re just as ridiculous as I was expecting you to be.” He said, his tone one of derision.
“Enough. Why are we here? What do you want?” Harry said, his tone serious.
“Oh, that’s quite simple. I want money.”
Theo snorted. “Then why is Weasley here?”
Draco rolled his eyes and Ron huffed, but said nothing.
“You are all exceptionally wealthy men, Theodore. I’ve popped a few ransom notes in the post to your loved ones. Used the Mungo’s next of kin list, it’s almost too easy to blackmail those nurses. I’m expecting the payments to arrive shortly.”
Draco laughed. Ron stared at him, clearly having not caught on, and Draco gestured for him to stay with Scorpius as he left the cell.
“Ah, Draco Malfoy. A pleasure to meet you. I do hope you’re not too worried about mummy dearest getting my letter.” He was stout, sweaty, and projecting false confidence. He was wearing a suit that didn’t fit properly, and was very much out of his depth, not that he knew it yet.
“Not in the slightest, seeing as she isn’t my next of kin. Tell me, sir, did you personally read the Mungo’s list?” Draco asked, and the man’s face faltered just slightly.
“I have people for that sort of menial work.” He spat, and Draco smiled. The penny dropped for Theo, who grinned madly. He was trussed up like a Christmas turkey, attached to a chair with several ropes. Draco briefly wondered why they’d taken such precautions, but he supposed Theo was somewhat unpredictable.
“And your people? Did they inform you of the terrible mistake you’ve made?” Draco drawled, wandering closer to the man and looming over him slightly.
“I have made no mistake, you don’t know what you’re talking about?”
“Allow me to enlighten you, then. You see, if you had bothered to read the Mungo’s list, or had someone competent read it at the very least, then you’d be aware that we all have the same person listed as our next of kin.”
The man scoffed. “Like that matters. Whoever this woman is, she’ll simply pay for all of you to be freed. Women do not have the stomach for this sort of thing. They don’t know how to play the game.”
Harry chuckled, and Theo outright guffawed. Draco heard Ron laughing from inside the cell.
“Spoken like a man that has never met this particular witch. How many of your men are currently in this building?” He asked.
“There are fifty of my best fighters between you and the front door. There’s no way you could fight your way out of this, even if you managed to get past me. You wouldn't risk it, Malfoy, not whilst I have your son.”
“You’re entirely correct, sir, but that isn’t why I was asking. I refer to the mistake I mentioned. No, I’m not wondering if I could get out. I’m wondering how long it’s going to take for her to get in. Your mistake is thinking that fifty men is anywhere near enough.”
“You’re bluffing.” The man said, but looked a little rattled.
“Hermione Granger. Perhaps you’ve heard the name?” Theo said, and the man went white.
“I’d fire whoever does your research for you, mate.” Harry added.
“No, that’s- You’re lying. She fought against you in the war.” He looked at Draco, who smiled in return.
A bright blue otter suddenly flew in under the door, and disappeared inside the cell with Ron and Scorpius. They could hear Hermione’s voice as the patronus delivered the message.
“Scorpius, don’t be scared, alright? I’m on my way. I’m already inside the building, making my way downstairs. If you aren’t with the others, just hold tight, I’ll find them. If you are, then tell them that they’re utterly useless wizards if they haven’t escaped by now. I love you, and I’ll find you, I promise.”
Draco’s smile grew into a broad grin as the man openly started to panic.
He turned on his heel and marched out of the door, shouting for someone called Barnes. Catching Harry and Theo’s eyes and finding mirth there, Draco returned to the cell.
“Did you hear, Dad? Mione’s coming!”
“I heard, Scorp.” He said with a smile.
“They don’t stand a chance.” Ron said, shaking his head.
“For once, Weasley, I’m inclined to agree with you.”
Hermione was completely calm, focused on her goal. She’d been in her shop, getting ahead on inventory, when five letters landed in front of her, demanding money for the release of her friends. She didn’t hesitate, taking off at a run and using a reverse tracking spell to find the origin of the owls. She probably would have been more inclined to involve the aurors had they not also taken Scorpius, but with a child involved, she didn’t trust anyone but herself. The only decent aurors, in her opinion, were the four men that had been kidnapped. She imagined the department was probably falling apart without them. All the more reason to hurry this along.
She would have loved to be an auror, but the inherent misogyny that still existed in the Ministry had meant she was not offered a place alongside Harry and Ron after the war. They’d said she could probably manage the paperwork, if she wanted, but she refused to be sidelined, and had set up her bookstore instead.
She arrived outside the building, which was nothing special. It attracted no attention, simply a bland office block. She supposed that was sensible for someone embroiled in criminal activity. They didn’t tend to advertise.
They had clearly known she was coming, judging from the wards that had been, from the looks of it, hastily and poorly thrown up. It took her less than ten seconds to get through them, and she slipped in through the front door. Her patronus had returned, and she could see that Scorpius was a fair way from her. She took that to mean this building had a sub-level, and she’d need to make her way down to him. Casting another charm that revealed magical signatures, she could see a lot of people in the next few rooms, one person off on their own a few floors down, and then seven people on the bottom floor. With her plan decided upon - brute force - she wrenched the door open, and began flinging spells. There were fifteen people in here, maybe more, but it didn’t take long for her to make her way through them. She wouldn’t kill anyone if she didn’t have to, but with Scorpius on the line, she was prepared to do what was necessary.
Leaving behind the unconscious pile of bodies, she arrived at a locked door. Recasting her charm, she could see this was the room with the lone occupant.
“Hello? Can you hear me?” She called.
“Granger? Is that you?” Pansy Parkinson replied, and Hermione got through the locks on the door to see the witch’s relieved face. “Oh, thank the gods. They’ve been interrogating me, they thought I was still shagging Draco. I mean honestly, he’s been married and widowed since he was with me, where are they getting their information?”
“Are you alright? Have you seen them?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. They were reluctant to get physical, some archaic bullshit about not hitting someone so delicate. I’d usually protest, but in this case, I’m quite appreciative that my face is intact. They’ve kept me in here on my own, though, so I don’t know where the others are, if they’re even here.”
“They are. They’re downstairs.” She looked over Pansy’s cuffs, magically dampening, she noted, and started to read the runes etched into the metal.
“Can you get me out? I don’t recognise half of these bloody runes.” Pansy said.
“I can if you shut up for a second.” Hermione snapped, lifting her hands gently to look at the back of the cuffs. Pansy clearly hadn’t appreciated being spoken to like that, but stayed quiet all the same.
She ran through everything she knew about runes, trying various options to unlock the cuffs. Then she had a thought. Everyone she’d fought so far was male, they’d treated Pansy to some misogynist bullshit. They’d only kidnapped the boys. These were not bright people. What if…
The cuffs clicked open, and Pansy went wide eyed.
“I knew you were impressive, but damn, Granger.”
“It was Eihwaz. Defence. It’s the equivalent of making the word password your password.” Hermione scoffed, and Pansy looked blank.
“I don’t know what that means, but I appreciate it all the same.”
“Can you go and alert the Ministry? I’ll go after the boys.” She looked at Pansy, who nodded.
“Yes, maam.” She saluted her, grabbing her wand from where it had been abandoned on the ground. Honestly, these really were idiots she was dealing with. They separated, Pansy running for the door and Hermione heading further into the building. Hermione laughed as she heard Pansy exclaim in alarm at the first room and the amount of unconscious wizards in it.
“Granger, you’re the most badass witch I know!” Pansy called through the door, and Hermione wondered what her younger self would have thought of this moment before moving on.
Casting the charm, she readied herself for another fight with around twenty wizards. She took a deep breath, and opened the door.
“This room is a dead space. No magic can get in, no patronuses, nothing. She won’t find you here.” The man said, throwing the five of them into the room. It had a window that looked into another space, much like a muggle police station with a one way mirror.
“Are you going to continuously underestimate her? Gods, it’s like you’re asking to lose.” Theo said, and the man slammed the door behind him, not entertaining his jibe.
“He’s panicking.” Harry said, observing the look on his face through the window.
Scorpius giggled as he let himself out of his second pair of cuffs, and they all stared at the boy incredulously.
“Mione said it’s about putting pressure in the right place.” He said.
“Why was Mione teaching you how to get out of handcuffs, Scorp?” Ron asked.
Scorpius shrugged. “Dad was late getting home, I was bored. I asked her to show me the coolest thing she knew how to do.”
“She was looking after you? Without your dad there?” Theo asked, a slow smile spreading on his face.
“We aren’t doing this now, Theo.” Draco growled.
“Not like we’ve got anything better to do, Malfoy.” Harry replied, and Draco sighed.
“She’s much nicer to me than Mum was.” Scorpius said.
“As much as that might be true, Scorp, you know what I’ve said about speaking ill of your mother.” Draco chided, and Scorpius shrugged.
“Uncle Neville said it’s ok to be annoyed at Mum, even though she’s in heaven now.”
“Uncle who? You mean Longbottom?”
“Yeah. He was in Aunt Pansy’s house when she took me to the park the other week.”
“Oh, this is excellent. I would have gotten kidnapped much sooner if I’d known it would be this much fun.” Theo grinned, mischief dancing in his eyes.
“They were quite close at your wedding, Harry.” Ron added.
“Come on now, Weasley. Potter noticed nothing at his wedding, he was far too busy ogling his new husband. It was indecent, really.”
“No more than you were Granger.” Theo shot back, and Draco glared at him.
“You were, Dad. Even I noticed.” Scorpius said, and they all laughed as Draco scowled.
“You’re meant to be on my side, Scorp.”
“I’m on Mione’s side.” He said happily.
“Of course you are.” Draco huffed.
“Replaced already? Damn, that’s rough, mate.” Harry smirked.
Draco straightened suddenly. “Shut up a minute, all of you. Can you hear that?” They stilled, and strained to hear.
“Secure them, now! Fuck, how is she- Fuck! You said you put up wards, you idiot!” Someone was shouting, panic laced in their voice. The group shared smiles and glances, knowing who was on her way.
“Nobody’s answering, they’re all down.” A second man replied.
“All of them?!”
“All of them.”
“That’s fifty fucking people, she’s on her own!”
“I told him it wasn’t enough.” Draco muttered smugly.
“Have you checked the account? Has she paid the ransom?”
“No, she just, er, came here instead.”
“Stop her at the top of the corridor. Unforgivables, whatever it takes, I don’t care. She can’t get in that room, not before I get my money. We will contact Malfoy’s mother instead, she’ll cave.”
“Great Salazar, this man’s an idiot.” Theo said, knowing full well that Narcissa Malfoy caved to no one, no matter what was on the line.
The man stormed into the room that they could see through the window, pacing about and dragging his hands through his hair. He then stopped and hastily cast some locking charms on the door. Cute, really. As if that would make any difference.
They all brightened considerably when they heard her.
“Where are they? Tell me, and I’ll let you keep your hand, how about that?” She said coldly.
“Please, please, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not involved, I don’t know anything.” The second man from before was begging. Draco smiled broadly.
“Oh, so it’s a coincidence that you’re down here, is it? How unfortunate for you.” There was a slicing noise, and the man cried out in pain, before it went quiet. Scorpius looked up at Draco with wide eyes, and Draco nodded to let him know it was alright.
The door flew open, and there she was. Covered in an alarming amount of blood, none of it hers, with eyes blazing, she pointed her wand at the sweaty man in the ill-fitting suit.
“Scorpius Malfoy. Where is he?” She asked, tone low and threatening.
“Mione! I’m in here! Mione!” Scorpius called, running to the window. He frowned when she didn’t react, turning back to the others. “She can’t hear me?”
“One-way silencing charm. We can hear them, they can’t hear us. Nifty.” Draco said, looking around the small room.
“I won’t ask a second time.” Hermione said, moving closer into the room, like a predator stalking its prey.
“Not bothered about your precious Harry Potter?” The man spat, and Hermione scoffed.
“I was willing to die for Harry. I am willing to kill for Scorpius. I said I would not ask a second time.”
“Don’t get a hard-on.” Theo whispered in Draco’s ear, and he scowled at his friend.
“Give me the money, and I’ll take you to them.” The man said, sticking his chin in the air.
“You know, if you’d just taken the others, left Malfoy or Theo out in the world, the money would have been yours in seconds. You, however, are a misogynistic fool who thought I’d receive those notes and panic. You thought I’d be adrift without all those strong men guiding me, and I’d rush to Gringotts without a second thought. I’m getting really quite tired of men underestimating me, I’ll be honest. My patience is not what it used to be.”
“The money, now, or I’ll kill one of them.”
“Will you? Interesting. How are you going to do that when you're in here with me? Oh, dear, I think you’ve just revealed your hand somewhat. I wonder which wall it is that you’ve disguised? If it’s as weak a charm as the ones on the door, I’d be panicking if I were you.” She looked around the room, waving her hand whilst keeping her wand trained on the now very pale man, and smiled as she looked right at them. “There they are. Sit tight, I’ll be with you in a minute.”
“But that’s..that’s impossible! You can’t just undo it like that, not without your wand.”
“You seem to be unaware of just how pissed off I am. My magic always responds to anger, and if any of them are harmed in any way, you will get up close and personal with just how angry I am.”
“I just wanted the money, I-” He pleaded, his bravado melting away in seconds.
“Was it worth it?” She asked, stepping closer to him. He backed up to the wall. “I found Pansy, undid her cuffs. She’s upstairs with the aurors. I ask again, was it worth losing everything?”
“Undid her cuffs? Bloody hell, Mione.” Ron said, shaking his head. Theo smiled softly as he saw the look of pure, unadulterated love in Draco’s eyes as he looked at her through the window.
“It wasn’t. It wasn’t worth it. Please, please don’t hurt me, I’m sorry. I’ll give you anything you want, you can have it all, please.”
“Oh, I have everything I could ever want, thanks. You kidnapped all of the people that matter most to me, you took them all in one fell swoop. It’s laughable, really, that you thought I wouldn’t react to that. Anyway, time’s up, I’m bored. Enjoy Azkaban.” She moved her wand just slightly, and he flew into the wall, knocking him out cold. He had no time to react, despite having his own wand trained on her. She was quicker. Casting another spell, ropes tied him up, and she levitated him into the corner. Then she raced to the door.
“Are you alright? Are any of you hurt?” She said frantically as she undid the locking charms on the door. “I took off the silencing charm, I can hear you.”
“Oh! Yeah, we’re alright, Mione.” Harry said, as Scorpius jumped up and moved to the window.
“You rescued us, Mione!” He called, and she smiled with relief at hearing his voice.
“Of course I did, Scorp. I’ll always come for you, I promise.” She got through the door, and was almost knocked off her feet as the boy threw himself into her arms. “You’re ok?” She put him down, and looked him over carefully.
“Mmhmm. I got out of the handcuffs, just like you showed me!”
“Oh, you brilliant boy. I’m so proud of you.” She pulled him into another hug, placing a gentle kiss on his head.
“As much as I hate to interrupt, we’re all still cuffed, Granger.” Theo said, and she grimaced.
“Sorry, Theo. You know they used Eihwaz as the password?” She looked at Draco.
“Eihwaz? Was that it?! Salazar…” Draco shook his head, and she smirked at him.
“Clever old Draco Malfoy couldn’t work it out then?” He shot her a withering look, and she giggled as she released Theo’s hands.
“If you could contain the flirting until we’re all out of here, I’d appreciate it.” Theo drawled, and Hermione grinned at him.
“How’d you solve it, anyway? Malfoy said it was almost impossible to work out the rune to unlock these things.” Harry asked, lifting his hands.
“You’ve got to know what to look for, as well as knowing a bit about the person who carved them. They’re badly done, it’s sloppy work. That plus Pansy told me that they cuffed her, but were deliberately gentle because they said they didn’t want to hurt a woman. All that adds up to these guys being morons who don’t truly understand the magic they’re trying to use, therefore the rune won’t be something hard to remember. Thus, Eihwaz.” Harry’s cuffs fell to the floor, and Scorpius picked them up, looking over the runes carefully. She moved onto Ron, keeping half an eye on the young boy as he was holding fairly powerful magic in his little hands.
“They didn’t put up much of a fight then?” Ron smirked, and Hermione looked a little sheepish.
“I think Mungo’s might be a little busy later.” She replied, and the ginger man chuckled.
“Theo, why didn’t you say something?” Harry scolded his husband, looking over his arms that were covered in red burns from the ropes that had held him earlier.
“We had more pressing matters at hand, dearest. I’m fine, really.”
“And if this was the other way round? What was it you said earlier, you’d disembowel the man?” Harry said, becoming slightly irate.
“And you said that it was unnecessary. Harry, I’m ok.” Theo reached for Harry’s hand, reassuring him.
Ron was released from his cuffs, and Hermione moved onto Draco.
“We’re going straight to Mungo’s. No arguments.” Harry pointed at Theo, and he smiled.
“Absolutely, my love. Stop fretting.”
“Did you mean it? That you’d kill for Scorp?” Draco asked Hermione quietly, and she looked him in the eyes.
“Of course I did. He means a lot to me, Malfoy, you know that.”
“I love you.” He said earnestly, and she rolled her eyes.
“I love you too, you idiot.”
“You’ve said that already?! When’s the wedding, next week?” Theo exclaimed sarcastically.
“I’d be up for it, but that would send Narcissa into a flat spin that I don’t fancy dealing with.” Hermione replied, removing Draco’s cuffs as he stared at her.
“You would?”
“I would.” She smiled up at him.
“Best keep our schedules free for next week then.” Harry said, steering Theo out of the small room, Ron following behind them.
“You can't be serious, Granger.” Draco looked at her, and she raised an eyebrow.
“How about you see how many people I fought my way through to get to you and Scorp before you ask me something like that again.” She said, smirking over her shoulder as she left the room, taking Scorpius by the hand. He picked up the abandoned cuffs, knowing they’d be useful for the Ministry to analyse, and followed her blindly. He’d follow her anywhere, do anything she asked. He considered the ring that sat in his wardrobe for a moment, the one he’d bought immediately after their first date. His mother would be spectacularly annoyed at such little notice, but perhaps it would be worth it. He smiled to himself before following the others upstairs. That would come later, first he had to speak to Robards about hiring the most accomplished witch he’d ever known.