A bet is set
James Potter and Sirius Black prided themselves on the knowledge that they were widely known as Hogwarts’ most popular bachelors. They deeply enjoyed the fact that if they so wanted they could have any person they wanted (with a few stubborn exceptions).
The only problem was they didn’t really want anyone in particular as far as they knew. Apart from James. He was an exception, seeing as he’d been drooling over Evans for years now, though the others couldn’t quite tell if he was actually interested in her or if he just liked the chase. They were fine either way, they couldn’t care less about his love life.
The only problem was: The two of them were bored. They were bored out of their freaking minds. Had it been anyone else it would hardly be a problem but unfortunately it wasn’t anyone else. It was Sirius and James and a bored Sirius and James is a recipe for disaster.
Sirius was pouting in his bed one Saturday morning, thinking about how nobody was interesting enough to flirt with, and how none of their pranks were entertaining enough. And with how protective Evans had been recently it had nearly been impossible to prank Snivellus-
…
It was early enough for the rest of the marauders to still be in their dorm room, just finishing or starting getting ready changed when Sirius has the best (worst) idea. Remus was the only one who noticed his face before he even said anything and honestly the boy wanted to just leave to avoid whatever stupid idea his friend was about to throw out.
“Hey Prongs?”
James tilted his head towards the blurry blob that Sirius currently was on account of his lack of glasses. He cleared the glass before slipping the round spectacles on his face.
“Yeah?”
“Who do you think is more attractive between the two of us?”
James and Remus seemed caught off guard and confused by the question whilst Peter let out an embarrassing snort of laughter from the bathroom where he was brushing his teeth. Remus was the first to actually speak,
“That’s pretty subjective isn’t it?”
Sirius rolled his eyes, “Fine, then who’s the most charming?”
“Again, pretty subjective”
“Moony.” Sirius smiled at his best friend, silently asking him to shut up for a minute so he could continue. “So, who’s the most charming to most people?”
James hummed in thought for a minute, “Probably me”
Sirius looked slightly taken aback by this and threw a hand to his chest in false offence.
James quickly ran in for damage control, “Not that you’re not charming Pads! Just that… meh, your type of charming feels like it wouldn’t be as popular with more people”
“Yeah because your ‘charmingness’ is so effective on Evans” Peter mocked, walking out of the bathroom and grabbing the hairbrush on his bedside table to flatten the rats nest (hehe) that was his hair in the morning.
James glared at him and Peter innocently diverted his eyes, pretending that he didn’t say anything.
“Well” Sirius began, “Why don’t we play a little game?”
“A game?” Remus parroted sceptically.
“Yeah, to figure out who the most charming marauder is!” He declared dramatically. Remus sighed,
“Does that mean that Peter and I will have to participate too?”
“Well it’s the only way to make it fair”
“Go on” James smirked, leaning forwards, “I’m curious”
Sirius rubbed his hands together before beginning his proposal, “We’re each going to ask out this person and whoever gets them to go on a date with us wins.”
“Seems too easy what’s the catch?” James asked in overconfident playfulness.
“The person iiiiiis~” Sirius tapped his hands against his knees in a fake drumroll, “Snivellus!”
The reaction was immediate. James’s eyes widened comically and he looked dazed like he’d just been hit with a confundus. Peter, who had been taking a swig of water, was now mourning his previously dry bedsheets. Remus was staring at Sirius like he had completely lost his marbles.
“WHAT?!” James finally shrieked. “NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! THE DAY I ASK OUT FUCKING SNIVELLUS IS THE DAY I BECOME THE HEAD BOY OF SLITHERIN.”
Peter adamantly shook his head alongside James. Remus just seemed confused and taken aback,
“Pads, why in the world would you pick Snape? He despises us, you know that right?” The werewolf asked.
“Exactly! It’s the ultimate test! If one of us can get him to actually agree on a date then we’d have to be the most amazing flirts in the world.”
They all hated that they kind of understood his weird, weird logic.
“Okay but I still don’t want to go on a date with Sniv.” James muttered stubbornly.
Sirius rolled his eyes, “Yeah obviously. If you actually get him to say yes then you can just expose how stupid he is to everyone, just think of it as a big prank”
James hummed in thought for a few seconds before smirking, “Sure, why not?”
Sirius turned to Wormtail. Peter shook his head violently,
”Oh come on Wormy! You’re just scared, why are you scared of someone like Sniv?”
Peter pouted, glaring at Sirius before diverting his gaze and slowly, slowly nodding.
”Great!” The dog declared. Sirius turned to Remus, wearing big pleading puppy eyes.
Remus rolled his eyes and sighed,
”You’re ridiculous”
”That wasn’t a no!”
Indeed it wasn’t.