Chapter 24
Sober Regulus was not to be held accountable for drunk Regulus’ actions.
Regulus was convinced of this fact when he found both Barty and Evan in a state of undress in his bed, his head on Barty’s chest and his arms hugging Evan like a pillow.
He didn’t even know what happened. What brought him here?
He remembers shoving his brother around a lot. James paying for loads of his drinks in order to try and talk to him. Dorcas coming in between James and Regulus everytime they came a little too close.
He shook his head. It hurt. His throat was dry, he wanted to grab water.
He didn’t remember how he got here.
What did he do?
What did they do?
Evan hummed in his sleep and pulled Regulus a little tighter. His breath smelled like the awful sweetness of his favourite alcohol. Regulus kissed him last night. He enjoyed it.
He closed his eyes to fall back asleep. If he wakes up in a few minutes, everything’ll be clear.
‘WHAT THE FUCK?!!’
He shot up, his eyes wide and horrified.
Evan and Barty were awake now, both giving him angry looks. Though Evan looked more frightened angry and Barty looked more hungover angry.
‘What’s wrong Reg? Are you okay?’ Evan asked, his anger fading to leave a face of concern.
‘Yeah. No. Not really,’ he muttered, letting himself fall back down on the bed. He covered his face with his hands.
He kissed Evan.
He, Regulus Black, kissed Evan. And he enjoyed it. Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck.
Barty groaned and put a pillow on top of his head. ‘Why can’t you just have your mental breakdowns when I’m not feeling a headache,’ Barty complained. If Regulus wasn’t so stressed about his own problems right now, he would’ve corrected Barty on the fact that his grammar was wrong.
‘I’m sorry, I’ll leave the room next time,’ Regulus snapped at him sarcastically. He turned his head to look at Barty, who moved the pillow away to shoot him a glare. Regulus rolled his eyes and moved his gaze towards Evan, who was slowly getting out of bed and looking for his clothes.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Regulus asked, making Evan stop in his movement. ‘I’m looking for my pink thong of course, Regulus. What do you think I’m doing?’ Evan asked. Barty snorted loudly, which earned him a glare from Regulus.
‘Why are you getting out of bed?’ Regulus asked him. Evan sighed, picked up Barty’s shirt from the floor and put it on. ‘I thought you would’ve liked some coffee.’
Oh.
That was really sweet.
Something James would’ve done for Regulus if he was panicking.
No. James would offer him tea, because he was convinced Regulus already drank too much caffeine. Evan couldn’t care less about Regulus’ caffeine obsession.
‘Hello?? Is staring at me like I’m a ghost a yes?’ Evan asked, frowning at Regulus. He snapped out of his thoughts and nodded softly. ‘Thank you,’ he muttered while Evan walked out of the room.
‘Barty, what did I do?’
Barty snorted and turned to face him on the bed, finally losing the stupid pillow. ‘Oh you are quite the lightweight, Reggie baby,’ Barty started, cackling when Regulus swatted his head. ‘You got really comfortable in Evan’s personal space when Dorcas kept shooing James away. He taught you how to dance, and you put in a little extra work to catch eyes of course.’ Barty grinned at Regulus’ flushing cheeks.
‘And then next thing I knew, James was asking me where you and Evan went. Poof, gone you guys were,’ Barty said, shaking his head and tutting softly at Regulus who frowned at him. ‘Smoke break outside, it turns out. But smoking one cigarette together turned into kissing, turned into snogging, and turned into me guiding you guys into a cab before you had sex outside of the club.’
Regulus’ horrified look made Barty burst out in more laughter, though Regulus didn’t get how he could find this so funny. This was never supposed to happen. Regulus couldn’t do stuff with Evan. He couldn’t… couldn’t break his own heart again like this.
‘Regulus, I put one sugarcube in your coffee, because I know you secretly like it like… What did Barty say to you?’ Evan stopped halfway through the room. Regulus deemed it for the better, because he’d rather not be too close to Evan if he had sex with him.
‘Thank you for the coffee, but I’m not thirsty anymore. I’ll grab something… else. Somewhere else. Gotta go, bye-’ ‘nuh uh. Sit down. Talk.’ Evan grabbed his arm, pulled him back inside his room and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Regulus sat down on the edge of the bed, and Evan handed him the coffee.
‘Barty, what did you say to him?’ Evan repeated, giving the boy a stern look. Barty sat up, yawned and sighed. ‘Just told him the truth. Simple as that,’ he said, nodding to himself. Evan gave him a distrusting look and looked at Regulus, who was still horrified. He was happy with his coffee though. The sugar did make it taste nicer, though only Evan really knew that he took his coffee with sugar.
‘And what did you perceive as ‘the truth’?’
Barty was silent for a beat too long for his story to be entirely truthful. Relief washed over Regulus when he muttered ‘uhhh’ and Evan swatted him with a pillow. Evan sighed deeply and sat down beside Regulus on the bed.
‘What did he tell you?’ Evan asked, ignoring Barty when he muttered ‘nothing much’ from behind him.
‘Smoke break? And uh, kissing? Snogging? And, uh… you know,’ Regulus stammered, shuffling his feet. Suddenly he was nervous, though he didn’t get why. ‘You know? What?’ Evan frowned. ‘Sex,’ came the answer from Barty, who giggled at the word, but stopped when both Regulus and Evan shot him a glare.
‘Regulus, you don’t seriously think I’m stupid enough to have sex with you right? You were kind of drunk. I would never,’ Evan said. With Evan’s words, Regulus’ stress levels seemed to come down like a crashing wave, stopping when it met the shore. He breathed out deeply in relief. ‘Thank god for that.’
Evan huffed. ‘Wouldn’t say that perse. You did hook up with Mr. stupid right over there. But that was not in my bed, thank you very much. You decided that you’d rather cuddle with me than with Barty in the middle of the night, and then joined me. I don’t know when Barty joined, though it doesn’t surprise me all that much.’
Regulus mulled this over in his head for a few seconds. Evan was so chill about him hooking up with Barty. Why wasn’t he mad? Was he pretending to be chill? Was he going to ruin Regulus’ life now?
‘How did you know we hooked up?’ Regulus asked. His gaze was pointed at the dark liquid in his cup, refusing to look up and meet Evan’s eyes. ‘Barty told me.’ Simple as that. A simple statement.
Barty shot up at this in alarm. ‘I did?! What else did I tell you?’ Barty asked, now in alarm. Evan’s eyes fell on him and instantly seemed to turn angry and distant. ‘Don’t worry, You didn’t spill about you and Regulus hooking up for weeks behind my back. Your secret is safe,’ he snapped, before he stood up and threw Barty’s shirt back at him. He grabbed clean clothes from his closet and put them on in a silent, angry haze.
‘I’m going out. If I hear anything about you two fucking in my bed, I’m sending you back to the hotel. And I’ll call the lovely Orion and Bartemius. Understood?’ Evan snapped, not even listening to their answer before slamming his door and leaving Regulus and Barty.
The two boys were left in stilted silence after that.
Regulus heaved a deep sigh, before standing up and grabbing his clothes. ‘Are you leaving, too?’ Barty asked from behind him. Regulus nodded, though he didn’t turn around to face Barty. What they were doing had to stop now that too many people knew. Barty must’ve realised that.
‘Shouldn’t we… fuck, I don’t know… Talk? You know? Like Evan clearly wants us too,’ Barty asked. Regulus could hear him also standing up, so he moved towards the door. ‘No. Evan left because he didn’t want to talk. Now leave me alone,’ Regulus snapped, before walking to his own room and rummaging through his closet. Which was most definitely more organised than Evan’s, thank you very much.
‘But, Regulus. Don’t you… I mean,’ Barty tried to move in between Regulus and his closet, to catch his eyes, but Regulus slammed the door and turned around. ‘We have to talk, right? To think about our options?’
Regulus stopped at this.
Options.
Options.
‘I’m sorry, do you think I’m an option?’ Regulus hissed, finally looking at Barty, whose mouth was now open in an ‘oh’ shape. ‘Well…’ Regulus shot him a glare. ‘No! Obviously no, but the sex is an option. Right? Am I saying something wrong?’ he asked, earning a deep sigh from Regulus.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, was Regulus’ best friend.
‘Get out.’
‘So I’m saying something wrong? Fuck, I didn’t mean that. In that case, the sex isn’t an option. It’s… Hold up,’ Barty frowned for a second, thinking.
‘The sex isn’t an option? What’s it then? A condition? For our friendship?’ Barty asked, sitting down on Regulus’ bed. ‘The sex was inevitable, Barty. Now we’re stopping. Conversation done. Get out.’
‘Wait, what?’
Barty looked really lost now, frowning and giving Regulus a confused frown. ‘Inevitable? Do you know something I don’t?’ he asked, but before Regulus could answer, he went on. ‘And stopping? I’m sorry, sex is something we do together, the decision isn’t just up to you. We gotta talk about it,’ Barty said, which made Regulus raise his eyebrow.
‘So if I were to say I wanted to stop, you would say ‘no, I want to go on’, and just go on? Without my consent?’ Regulus asked, but Barty shook his head quickly. ‘No, you know that is not what I meant. But you didn’t say ‘I want to stop’, you said ‘we’re stopping’. Two different things.’
Regulus huffed and rolled his eyes before pulling on his pants. ‘So, Regulus, do you want to stop?’ Barty asked. Regulus frowned at Barty and thought for a second.
‘Do you want to stop?’
‘I don’t fucking know. I asked you first, so answer before I have to,’ Barty fired back quickly, though there was no bite to his words. Regulus gave him a glare regardless. ‘You don’t fucking know? That’s really fucking clear, Crouch. In that case we are stopping. Get your head clear or some shit,’ Regulus hissed before standing up again and walking into the hallway to the bathroom.
‘What? No, Regulus wait,’ Barty muttered, following him outside and trapping him between the wall and Barty’s body. ‘Is it really that simple for you? Just like that?’ Barty’s eyes were wide with hurt, and Regulus almost wanted to tell him the truth.
Almost.
‘Yes it is. It’s just sex Barty. You can have sex with anyone and everyone,’ Regulus said simply, making sure to not look into Barty’s eyes for a little too long, because he knew he’d be a lost cause if he did.
‘Right. Fine. Great.’ Barty sighed deeply and let Regulus go. ‘Guess I’ll be out. ‘Clearing my head’ or some shit.’
‘Fine.’
‘Fine?’
‘Fine.’
But Regulus wasn’t really fine with it.
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As the bell of the peculiar shop rang, Evan knew he was doing something stupid.
See, he wasn’t planning on putting pressure like this on Pandora, because she seemed to have a knack for figuring things out, but this was friends. And Evan didn’t want her to be the reason for a wedge.
So he visited a psychic.
He wasn’t going to tell her anything, of course. If she was a good one, she’d know.
He looked around the shop until an airy voice startled him and he jumped up. ‘Good after morning, mister Rosier. What brings you to my shop today?’
Evan turned to face the psychic, startled. ‘You… Know my name?’ he asked, his heartbeat not quite slowing down.
‘Of course I do, I’m a psychic. Follow me, please,’ she said in the same airy voice. Evan frowned at her, but complied. ‘How’d you know I wanted to ask you something? And not just buy something?’ he asked, though he didn’t get any answers, of course.
A magician never reveals his tricks.
Or her, in this case.
He followed the peculiar psychic into a small room, decorated with tapestries on every wall and lots of things hanging from the multicoloured ceiling. Regulus would hate this place. It would “give him a headache”. ‘Sit down, please.’
Evan did as he was told, and the psychic motioned for him to outstretch his hands.
‘So what did you want to know?’ the psychic asked him, after which Evan frowned. ‘You don’t know?’ he asked, lifting his chin a little. ‘Oh, I know. But you don’t. Three reasons? I need you to choose one for today,’ she said, which made Evan frown.
Three?
His love life, his almost fame, and what?
‘Oh, you know the third reason, Evan. Just think a little better,’ the psychic hummed. ‘I… I’m here for my love life. I don’t know what to do anymore,’ he said quickly, not thinking much about the possible third reason.
‘Right.’ The psychic grabbed his wrists and traced the inside of his palms. Evan shuddered from the feeling, which earned him a soft chuckle from the psychic. ‘As I can read, there are currently three boys in your life, correct?’
Barty, James, Regulus. Yeah.
‘Yeah, that’s right.’
The psychic started shuffling some cards. ‘Your love for the electric eyed one is burning you up. But the sunny one is not yours to have, never was,’ the psychic explained. Evan didn’t quite follow her, but he nodded along. ‘The only one that would be right for you is the dark haired one.’
Evan frowned at her. She pulled three cards and flipped them over.
‘Wait, the dark haired one? All of them have dark hair,’ Evan said, frowning. The psychic shrugged. ‘The icy eyed one. With the black curls.’
There was no mistaking who that was.
Regulus.
But Regulus and Evan?
He had been the reason for Evan to look for a psychic, but it didn’t feel right for Evan to make more of this.
After the psychic explained the cards in vague words, the session was done and Evan left the shop. The sun hit his face like a painful slap and he was reminded of the psychic’s words.
The icy eyed one. With the black curls.
He tried to listen to what the psychic told him about the three cards she had pulled, he really did, but he remembered nothing of the cards. Something with a star, which had to have been a direct reference to Regulus. And a fool, and two lovers. But some cards were turned around, and that changed the meaning. Evan was so confused.
She had grabbed another pile of cards, and talked about the electric eyed one. Grabbed again, another pile and talked about James. He forgot all of it. But she seemed to be under the impression that Regulus was the one for him.
He wasn’t.
Right?
Or was he?
Was Regulus an option?
No he wasn’t.
Evan shook his head from his thoughts and made his way back to his house, where he was welcomed by Barty storming out of the door, headphones on and blaring so loud that Evan could hear Troye Sivan’s ‘one of your girls’ come from his ears.
‘Hi? Bye?’ he muttered, frowning and walking further into his house to find Regulus.
‘Hey Regulus? What was wrong with… oh,’ Evan stood still for a few seconds until he had grasped the situation and he slowly hugged Regulus back. They stood in the hallway for a short time like that.
Regulus was… Hugging? Evan?
Freely?
Regulus suddenly broke the hug and he stormed away from Evan, only to stop halfway to his room and turn around. Evan, who had followed him, frowned at him. ‘What’s wrong Regulus? What did he say to you?’ Evan asked, just before Regulus burst out into tears and sat down on the floor.
Evan didn’t really know how to handle this. Regulus never did this. Crying in front of his friends was a weakness in Regulus’ eyes.
Evan blinked twice and sat down to wrap his arms around Regulus.
‘Shh… Don’t cry, Regulus. It’s all okay. Let it out, you’re allowed to be upset,’ Evan muttered, though a dark part of him disagreed with him. How many things had Regulus done to him? How many times had Regulus told him to suck it up and stop crying because he was being dramatic?
No. Regulus deserved to be comforted.
Evan pushed his thoughts away and carefully ran his fingers through Regulus’ curls. ‘What do you want me to do, Regulus?’ Evan asked softly. If Regulus didn’t want to answer he was free to, but Evan had a feeling he knew what Regulus would ask him.
‘Can you call him?’
A bitter feeling settled in Evan’s chest, but he nodded regardless.
‘Of course, Reggie.’
Regulus nodded against Evan’s chest while Evan looked for James’ number in his phone.
‘Do you have his number saved?’ Regulus asked him, shaking from his tears. Evan was silent in confusion for a little bit. Of course he had his ex boyfriend’s number saved?
‘Yeah? Reg, we only just broke up, you know that right?’ Evan asked him carefully, which earned him a confused look from Regulus. ‘You dated Sirius behind my back? How terrible of a friend can you be?’ Regulus asked him, disgusted.
Oh.
Oh.
‘You want me to call… Sirius? Are you… Sure?’
Regulus nodded sharply and gave Evan a tearstained look. ‘Please. If he loves me like he declares, he’ll pick up the phone.’
So Evan dialled Sirius’ number.
It rang.
And rang again.
Silence.
‘Hiiiii. You’re speaking with Sirius, what can I do for ya?’
‘Hey, Sirius I really-’ ‘Nah, just kidding. You’ve reached my voicemail. Say something after the beep.’
Bile rose up in Evan’s throat.
‘Maybe.. Maybe he just doesn’t pick up because he doesn’t know your number? Try my phone,’ Regulus said, still hopeful.
Evan grabbed Regulus’ phone, opened it. Looked for Sirius’ number. Found it saved in his favourites, along with Barty and James. Not Evan though.
No. Stop. This wasn’t about him.
He clicked Sirius’ name and heard the phone ring. And ring. And ring again.
‘Hiiiii. You’re speaking with Sirius, what can I do for ya?’ Evan waited in silence. He knew it was Sirius’ voicemail, but he had hope for the older Black brother.
‘Nah, just kidding. You’ve reached my voicemail. Say something after the beep.’
Beep.