Chapter 4
James didn’t understand what he did wrong.
Evan was smiling at him two minutes ago, but now he was distant and closed off. He sat on the couch in silence, waiting for James to finish cooking. James liked it way more when Evan was in the kitchen, trying to help him.
When he finished the soup and they started eating, Evan was silent and tried to move away from James every time he subconsciously shifted closer.
Evan cleared his throat suddenly. 'James, maybe it’s best if you go,' Evan said as James frowned and shifted away from Evan. 'Why? Did I do something wrong?' James asked, looking at him confused. 'No, just… It’s getting late,' Evan muttered, avoiding eye contact.
'I.. uh… Yeah, of course. If that’s what you want I’ll go. The soup was delicious by the way,' James said, standing up and walking towards the door. 'Do I need to help you clean up?' he asked, biting his lip and looking at the mess in the kitchen.
Evan shook his head.
'It’s fine James. I’ll clean it up,' he muttered, standing up and walking towards the kitchen.
'Will I… Will you text me, Evan?' James asked, his voice awfully close to breaking. Evan looked back at him a bit shocked. 'I… Sure,' he muttered, a bit confused. James nodded softly and turned around to face the hallway, not wanting to show Evan the tears gleaming in his eyes.
'Bye Evan… You have a lovely home,' James muttered softly, grabbing his shoes and his coat and walking out of the house, not bothering to put either of them on.
It didn’t take James long to start crying.
He dialled Sirius’ phone number and the moment Sirius picked up his sobs started to grow worse.
'Sirius, he sent me away,' was the first thing he said. 'Whoa, whoa, Jamie calm down. You’ve been there for hours now, haven’t you?' Sirius asked as James nodded and then realised Sirius couldn’t see him. 'Yes,' he sobbed, trying to steady his breathing.
'Then don’t you think it’s reasonable for him to ask you to leave? Maybe he just wanted some alone time James, it doesn’t need to be something bad,' Sirius said, trying to calm James down a bit. 'No, no you don’t understand Sirius,' James started. 'He sent me away. He suddenly became very distant and then proceeded to tell me to leave the moment we finished eating dinner.'
James could practically hear Sirius’ frown through the phone. He was walking rapidly, in order to get home as quickly as possible. 'And you’re very sure you didn’t take it differently than how he thought you would take it?' Sirius asked him as James frowned. 'I don’t think so,' James muttered, crossing the street.
'Well… I don’t know this guy, so I can’t tell you what’s his thoughts behind it. But I know you like him and I don’t think it’s possible for someone to not like you. Maybe it just got a bit overwhelming for him. Just get your ass back home and we’ll talk about it more, yeah?' Sirius said as James nodded again. 'Yeah, okay. I will,' he muttered.
'Hey James?' Sirius muttered, just before James hung up. 'Yeah?'
'I love you.'
James smiled softly. 'I love you too, Sirius.'
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Evan didn’t clean the kitchen mess up.
He started crying first. Then he called Reg, still crying and furious.
'Ev? Did you finally-''I fucking sent him away for you! I fucking told him to go because I didn’t want to do that to you!' Ev yelled, standing up and walking outside. 'What? Well that’s very nice of you Ev, but I’m over-''And still you kissed him! You knew how terribly I was crushing on him and you still kissed him!' Evan yelled, not caring about whatever Regulus was saying.
'Well fuck you Regulus! Because I have feelings for James and I am not pushing him away for the sake of keeping you happy anymore! You can have Barty and you can live in your own fucking little world with him because I don’t need you anymore!' Evan yelled, only now realising how drunk he must be. Regulus seemed to notice too.
'Evan, are you drunk?' Regulus asked him. 'Who cares if I am? You shouldn’t, because I’m done with you and I am going to kiss your ex boyfriend because I have feelings for him!' he reacted. Evan could basically hear Regulus’ eye roll. 'You don’t mean that, you’re drunk,' Regulus muttered. 'Oh no, I mean every word of it. Believe me when I say. I am putting my shoes on right now and I’m going to look for him and I’m going to kiss him just because I can! Fuck you, Regulus!' Evan said while walking back inside to do exactly that.
'What? Evan you’re lying. You’re not-' Regulus stopped himself when Evan dropped his phone on the floor, trying to hold it up while putting his shoes on. 'Evan, stop putting your shoes on. You’ll regret doing this when you wake up tomorrow. You’re drunk, you don’t even know if he feels the same,' Regulus said, starting to sound awfully desperate to keep Evan away from James now.
'I don’t care, Regulus. Bye,' Evan said before hanging up the phone and grabbing his coat, running into the direction he thinks James went. 'James? James!' he yelled, looking around for him. He was wild and impulsive. He’d drank too much alcohol and it was toying with his brain, but he didn’t feel any regret for his decisions. Not yet at least.
When he found a silhouette vaguely resembling James, he smiled brightly. 'James!' The silhouette turned around frowning. 'Evan?' Evan nodded and smiled, stepping closer towards James.
'Hi, so, I just wanted to say I’m so incredibly sorry for sending you away because I actually realised that I have feelings for you which is quite scary for me because I’ve never recovered from having feelings for someone because they always break my heart and I’m so scared to like people, but-' 'Whoa, whoa, wait one second Evan,' James muttered, grabbing his shoulders. Evan wasn’t looking at him, his gaze firmly on the ground. 'Hey, look at me Ev. Please?' James asked him softly. Evan was suddenly seeing how this was a bad idea and he started panicking.
He didn’t remember everything he said to James. Did he say he had feelings for him? Did he mention Regulus? Did he mention Barty?
'Evan, are you okay?' James asked him, gently lifting his chin up to make Evan look at him. Evan’s cheeks turned pink and he stared back at James a bit shocked. 'I… No, not really. I’m stupid for coming here, I shouldn’t bother you like this, it's incredibly mean and selfish of me. I sent you away and then followed you to declare I have feelings for you which is ridiculous because you barely know me and, and-''Evy, hey. Look at me. It’s okay. Calm down okay? You’re crying,' James said, trying to wipe away the tears Evan hadn’t even noticed.
Evan stared at James in silence while James gently wiped away his tears and smiled softly at him. 'Now, tell me again,' James said, still smiling softly.
Instead of telling him, though, Evan decided now was a good moment to kiss James.
He didn’t know why, how or when it really happened, but one moment he was staring at James and the next his lips were on James’.
James was too shocked to react, but before he even gathered his senses, Evan pulled away from him again. He stepped back and looked at James guiltily. 'I am so sorry James. I- I’m… I’ll leave you alone,' Evan muttered, looking at the floor before stepping away again. 'Hey, wait- no, Evan don’t leave,' James said confused, grabbing his arm softly and looking at him.
Evan turned around to face him. James’ eucalyptus smell was suddenly very prominent in the air Evan was trying to desperately breathe. 'Why did you do that?' James asked softly after which Evan frowned. 'I’m sorry, I don’t know. I’m still drunk I think,' Evan muttered softly. 'No, I’m not talking about the kiss, I'm talking about apologising for doing it,' James said. Evan was too shocked to say anything, but managed to get out a soft 'oh' before shrugging.
'Well… Do you regret doing it?' James asked carefully. 'Depends. Did you like it?' Evan asked softly, looking at him with widened eyes. 'I… It was shocking. I didn’t really get over the shock enough to know if I liked it,' he said softly as Evan nodded and stepped back. 'I’m so stupid, I shouldn’t have. You barely even know me and I just went up and kissed you without even asking if you’re okay with it and it’s selfish and I’m selfish and, and-' Evan stopped himself when he realised how terribly he was panicking and he tried to steady his breathing a bit.
'Ev, it’s okay. Really,' James said, moving one of his hands to gently touch his shoulder. Evan stared at him. 'I wanted to kiss you earlier on the day, but then you started to become distant so suddenly and I thought I did something wrong,' James muttered, looking back at Evan.
'You didn’t. You did everything right actually,' Evan said softly. His heart was beating wildly in his chest and he desperately tried to hold eye contact with James which was proving to become very hard.
'Evan, can I kiss you?' James whispered softly. His eyes were big and innocent. They were gentle and Evan knew he could say no and James wouldn’t mind.
He didn’t want to say no though.
He wanted to kiss James until the sun sank under the horizon.
He wanted to kiss James until he knew nothing better than the feeling of James’ lips on his and the taste of his mouth.
'Yes.' Evan muttered, stepping closer again. 'Please?' he asked, reaching out to gently tug at a wild strand of James’ hair in front of his eyes. James didn’t need to be told twice. He gently pulled Evan closer by his waist and crashed his lips against Evan’s.
His lips were warm and soft. They invited Evan’s with a gentleness Evan had never experienced before when kissing someone. James was kind and warm and Evan didn’t want to stop kissing him anymore now that he kissed him once.
Twice, actually.
James did eventually pull away though. He looked at Evan with flushed cheeks and pink lips, his eyes shining with happiness. Evan couldn’t help but smile back at him.
James looked so pretty.
'Uh.. Thanks?' James muttered, a smile growing on his face. Evan frowned. 'Did you just say thanks because I kissed you?' he asked. James also frowned now. He shook his head softly. 'No, I said thanks because you said I look pretty,' James said, his tone questioning.
'I said that out loud?' Evan muttered, a bit surprised. James nodded. 'You didn’t mean to?' he asked Evan, another smile blooming on his face.
His smile was as pretty as him.
'No, I didn’t mean to say that,' Evan muttered, looking away with red cheeks. 'I’m just guessing, but you also didn’t mean to say my smile was as pretty as me, did you?' James asked, a soft chuckle escaping his lips.
'What? No, I didn’t say that,' Evan lied as his cheeks reddened. James snickered softly and carefully moved his hand towards Evan’s cheek, moving his head to look at him.
'Are you lying to me, Evy?' James asked playfully, booping Evan’s nose. Evan blinked at him surprised and stared at James for a second before shaking his head. 'I wouldn’t dare lie,' he muttered, which made James snicker again. 'Liar,' he muttered before pressing a soft kiss on Evan’s lips.
'That- uh… You’re not allowed to do that,' Evan stammered, his cheeks embarrassingly red. James frowned at him. 'Why not?' he asked, dropping his hand to lay on Evan’s shoulder. 'Because it makes me all soft and sappy and I hate that,' Evan said, not bothering to stop James when he leaned in and kissed his forehead.
'Maybe I like it when you’re soft and sappy,' James muttered as he stepped back and smiled at Evan.
Evan blinked at him again and glanced at James’ telephone which was lighting up with the name 'My personal Siri' on it. 'You should pick up,' Evan muttered, motioning towards his phone. James looked at it and put it in his back pocket.
'I don’t think it’s that important to answer right now,' he said before pulling Evan into another kiss.
Evan agreed with him.
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'Barty, when does the next plane go from California?' Regulus asked as he stood up from his bed and shut his phone off, hurriedly starting to pack his things.
'What? California? Reg, what’re you talking about?' Barty asked, looking at him confused. Regulus stopped throwing his things in his suitcase and gave Barty an angry look not meant for him.
Maybe partly.
Maybe it was meant for him.
'We’re going to France, whether Evan wants us there or not,' he said stubbornly.
'We can’t just… Go to France Regulus,' Barty said, still frowning. Regulus gave him a look that suggested something entirely different.
'What’s stopping us Barty?' Regulus said as Barty sighed deeply and rolled his eyes, letting himself fall down against his bed. 'What about the huge ocean between us and France? The fact that it’s almost dinner time and you just got off the phone with Evan? The jetlag of six hours that I just got used to? Oh, and maybe our parents?' Barty said, standing up and levelling his gaze with Regulus’. Regulus wasn’t listening to Barty though, Barty knew because he had that absent angry look on his face.
'What did Evan say that got you so mad?' Barty said, trying to get Regulus to snap out of his mood. 'He’s probably kissing James right now. He’s drunk and the date wasn’t a lie and he’s kissing James, my James,' Regulus said through clenched teeth as Barty pulled a surprised face. 'Oh? That’s uh…' He didn’t like that at all. Barty hated the idea of Evan and James kissing, if he was honest. He had no reason to hate it though, Regulus had.
Evan knew how much Regulus loved James. Evan knew how terrible it had been for Regulus to break up with James, though he did it himself and there was no need for them to break up.
'Exactly,' Regulus said angrily as he stormed out of his room towards the dining hall where their parents, presumably, already were. 'Regulus, hey. Hey! You can’t barge in there and act like a fucking toddler, they’ll never let you go. Play it smart yeah? Act like you’re seasick and Evan is causing serious trouble in France. They’ll send us because they have no one better to send,' Barty said, grabbing his arm and stopping Regulus from running into the dining hall.
'Fine,' Regulus grumbled, crossing his arms and faking sickness. Barty raised his eyebrow, unimpressed, but didn’t say anything about it. They opened the doors to the dining hall and Barty began telling Regulus a story about Evan almost being thrown into jail because he drove too hard in a car he stole from his neighbours.
Evan’s mother, Vivienne, was the first to notice they were talking about her son. She frowned as they sat down and Barty told Regulus about Evan lying to the cops in Spanish because he didn’t want them to know he knew how to speak French.
'What are you two so busy talking about?' Barty’s mother, Desdemona, asked them. This made Regulus’ parents look up from the menus they were holding.
'Evan was terribly stupid today. Drove too hard in a stolen car and got caught by the police, to which he lied about basically everything. Almost ended up in jail of course,' Barty said as Regulus’ father, Orion, closed his menu and gave Barty’s father, funnily enough also called Barty, a disapproving look. 'My child would never do that,' Orion said as he looked at Regulus who was faking his sickness terribly well. Evan’s father, Jonathan, scoffed loudly, but Barty was first to talk.
'To be fair, I know for a fact that Sirius has done that,' Barty said as Orion threw him a scathing glare. 'Sirius is no son of mine,' he sneered as Barty shrugged. 'Weird, I thought he had your name as his middle one. I guess not,' Barty muttered nonchalantly as Regulus softly kicked his shin underneath the table and Walburga, Regulus’ mother, cleared her throat loudly.
'Sirius is no longer a part of this family. We do not care whatever he does. We do not care about him and neither do we love him,' Walburga said coldly as she picked up her wine glass and took a sip. No one seemed to budge at the fact that Walburga said she didn’t love her own child.
Regulus did though. Even though Barty couldn’t see it, he knew that Regulus had closed off the moment Sirius was brought up.
'How do you even know Evan did that, Barty? Maybe he’s lying for attention,' Jonathan said as Barty shrugged. 'I don’t know sir. I only know that he could do it again and end up in jail anyways,' Barty muttered, looking at him innocently. Vivienne leaned over and whispered something in Jonathan’s ear.
'You should’ve sent Evan to a boarding school in Northern Europe. Maybe he would’ve been disciplined there,' Orion said as Regulus frowned. 'You didn’t send your children to a boarding school in Northern Europe, Orion. And one of your sons has been such a disappointment you had to throw him out of the family. I don’t think you can speak about this,' Vivienne said coldly, taking a sip from her wine.
Barty snorted which earned him dirty looks from almost everyone on the table, including Regulus. 'What? It’s the truth,' he said, shrugging as his father rolled his eyes. 'I regret having a child every day when I see you,' he mutters over the glass of his wine. Barty snickered softly. 'I am what you made me father, if you wanted a different child you had two options. One, raise me better, two, adopt another child,' Barty said nonchalantly.
Desdemona looked at him warningly, but Barty only raised his eyebrow at her and mouthed ‘what?’.
Barty Crouch Sr. shook his head and ignored Barty. He waved over one of the waitresses.
'Is Evan keeping you up to date on everything he does?' Vivienne asked, looking at Barty with her startling blue eyes. 'Yeah, even when he takes a shower,' he said as Regulus frowned at him and mouthed something Barty wasn’t interested in picking up. 'Did he make any friends?' she asked him next. Barty knew that Evan’s mother did care about him, but she was stuck with a sucky husband whom she couldn’t leave.
'I think he did. He goes out with them a lot,' Barty said. Vivienne was ordering her food right now, but Jonathan picked up the conversation with him. 'Out as in going into clubs illegally?' he asked, a disgusted look on his face. Barty frowned. 'Obviously.'
'Regulus you have been awfully quiet. Speak up boy,' Barty Crouch Sr. said to him. Regulus looked at him and opened his mouth to presumably apologise for being silent. Instead of speaking though, he puked all over the table, his hands reaching up to keep his curls safe from the puke.
'Oh my god!' the waitress called out, running away to grab something to clean it up with. Regulus started coughing and Barty softly stroked his back, whispering 'very convincing' to him. Walburga had stood up and walked towards the bathroom the moment Regulus started puking, Regulus’ father had in turn started scolding him.
'Regulus, this is disgusting! Why didn’t you hold it in? You’ve embarrassed us in front of the entire restaurant!' he said, standing up. 'I don’t think you can really hold in your puke when you’re sick sir,' Barty said, looking up at him boldly, still fake comforting Regulus. 'Crouch, get your son in control,' Orion said, clenching his jaw angrily. 'He’s perfectly fine as he is, Orion,' Crouch retorted.
'Regulus honey, are you okay? Do you want some water?' Vivienne asked him, walking over to him and offering him a glass he quickly downed. It scared Barty how good he was in faking sickness. 'Thank you,' He whispered softly before more waitresses came to clean his mess up.
'Regulus, go to your room,' Orion said angrily. 'We’ll talk about this later, for now I want you to shower and go to bed.'
'I will, thank you father.' He hung his head and stood up, Barty following suit. 'Should I go with them?' Vivienne asked, looking at her husband. 'Yes, go with them by all means,' he said, waving his hand, seemingly uncaring.
Once the three of them were back in Barty and Regulus’ room, Vivienne helped Regulus into bed and gave him some medication. Barty and Vivienne talked about Regulus being most likely seasick while Regulus was pretending to sleep (he had a lot of pretending to do). After around fifteen minutes though, Vivienne left to go back to her husband and Barty walked over to Regulus.
'Are you okay Reggie? You’re not like, actually sick right?' Barty asked, sitting down on the side of his bed while Regulus moved to sit up and stare at him, blankly. 'Obviously I’m not really sick, idiot,' Regulus said.
Barty scoffed lightly and shook his head. 'So what now? What if they don’t send us back?' Barty asked Regulus. He was severely doubting the plan. 'Oh they will send us back, believe me. My father doesn’t want a son disgracing him as much as I did tonight. He’ll want me out of his sight, so he’ll send me back. Obviously they won’t leave you here alone,' Regulus said as he leaned over Barty to reach his nightstand, grabbing his book.
'So we just wait?'
'Yes, just wait.'
'Okay.'
They were silent for two minutes, Regulus reading his book and Barty staring around the room.
'I’m very bad at waiting, Regulus,' Barty muttered, breaking the silence. Regulus rolled his eyes and sighed deeply. 'Shut up or I’ll make you.'
'How exactly?' Barty asked, grinning. He didn’t expect Regulus to throw a pillow at his face, but he did. 'Ouch,' Barty muttered, grabbing the pillow. 'Just shut up and I won’t throw another object at you. The next object is my book, so shut up.'
'Okay okay Jesus.'
'Shut. Up.'
'I will if you do.'
Regulus glared at Barty furiously. Barty did shut up after that.