Chill it's just a joke dude

Lucius Malfoy is a shit parent, so Draco approaches Harry Potter to help him avoid a minor issue that's arisen. And then things take the only logical route possible.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION PLEASE READOkay first of all - Voldy died for real in Godric’s Hollow. No Horcruxes. Harry is still boy who lived and all that shit, still lived with the Dursleys, but Voldy is never coming back.Second of all. Harry and Draco are sort of friends. Idk when it happened, but it happened prior to the starting point of the story. Don’t ask me to explain it. Sort of like frenemies - like they bicker constantly and are highly competitive but they enjoy it? Like everyone else thinks they’re ‘rivals’ but it’s fun for them and they’re both aware that the other thinks it’s fun. Draco was exposed to positive influences after arriving at Hogwarts so his blood purist racist nonsense went away like…by the end of first year. It’s an AU so leave me alone about it.Third. In this universe homophobia is not a thing. I fully recognize the importance of working through homophobia in fics and normally I do, but I am currently dealing with a lot of homophobia in my real life so I cannot handle putting it in this fic. So we’re just gonna close our eyes and pretend that it’s not an issue, just this once.This takes place in seventh year. They’re at Hogwarts - since the curse is gone we’re gonna say that Dumbledore was going through DADA teachers trying to find a good one, and Lupin stayed on after prisoner of Azkaban cuz Snape didn’t rat him out for some reason. Again, it’s an AU, leave me alone. Also, Sirius was cleared after third year cuz he still saw the picture of Peter in the daily prophet and broke out to get him but Peter was caught during fourth year as he didn’t have Voldy to run back to and Sirius’s name was cleared. Harry now lives with Sirius and Remus (cuz they’re definitely in love and after Sirius was cleared they spent fifth year working through their shit and now they’re back together) and they’re a nice big happy family.