Chapter 3
“Evs that looks fine. No one cares what you wear y'know?” Lily laughed softly, sat on the edge of Evans bed as he huffed and scavenged for a fourth outfit to try on. She had a short green dress and was adorned with a delicate gold necklace (a gift from Pandora of course). Pandora was off choosing her own outfit, insisting that if Lily didn’t help then Evan would never be able to choose.
“Lils, it needs to be perfect.” Evan rolled his eyes, tossing a shirt onto the floor and rummaging through the back of his closet. What he didn’t say was that he had to look like he was doing well. Maybe if Barty saw how happy Evan looked he would feel a bit of guilt for how it ended, for not trying to save them. Eventually he settled on an outfit that he had really had to dig around for. He had a loose, semi-translucent, black button up shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and the top buttons were undone to reveal a silver necklace with a rose on it (another gift from Pandora). He shoved as many rings as possible onto his hands before stepping back to look himself in the mirror.
“Hey Lily? Could you do my eyeliner?”
Lily grinned wickedly, taking her opportunity to tease him. “Evan, you do realise we know everyone at this party, it’s not like you can woo some stranger. That is, unless you have someone in mind you’re trying to impress?”
Evan did his best to keep from flushing an embarrassing shade of pink. “I just want to look nice, I haven’t seen anyone in a while.” Lily sighed before sitting Evan down and grabbing a pencil eyeliner. She put on him before telling him to rub his eyes a bit so that it would smudge. “Oh.” He paused, looking at himself in the mirror. “I like it.”
Lily smiled, popping the cap back on the pencil. “Is it over the top if I put glitter on myself?”
“It’s a Regulus party, nothing is over the top.”
Evan showed up to the party fashionably late, hands pressed into the pockets of his jeans. He dug his nails into his palms to slow his breathing. Pandora and Lily on the other hand seemed as relaxed as ever, leaving him alone so they could find their friends. He wanted to stay with them, that had been the plan. He would stick to them the whole night and avoid Barty. If he saw the boy he didn’t think he’d be able to stop the memories. He stood near the door for a moment, paralysed, when Regulus came up to greet him.
“Evan! You look good man, it’s been a while.” Regulus walked up to him with a soft smile. Evan felt a silent disgust for himself at the jealousy he felt for Regulus. How was it fair that Regulus got to be with Barty all the time? That Regulus got to see him at his worst and stayed up late laughing at the horror films that secretly scare him. How was it fair that Regulus got to live the life he had been promised? And there were no secrets. What if Barty loved Regulus the same way he used to love him? What if Barty had really moved on? “Hey Reg, good to see you.” He smiled back, subconsciously chewing on his lip.
“Barty’s in the kitchen getting drinks, we wanna do some sort of party game once people aren’t sober. Highschool nostalgia and shit.” Evan smiled, hoping it did a good job at masking the dread he felt. He quickly calculated how much he would have to drink and how fast to not be able to remember the party games.
Every turn felt like a risk, every glance away from the floor felt like playing with fire. Evan wanted to leave, but he had to prove a point. He had to show that he really could do this. He felt his phone buzz with an incoming text.
Bats 🦇
u showed up?
Evan
Yeah
Bats 🦇
kitcehn
please evan
Evan swallowed harshly, finding his way to the kitchen with an embarrassing amount of difficulty. To his defence, he had never actually been to Regulus’ house before. The kitchen was awfully closed off compared to the rest of the house, at least in comparison to the open floor plan of Pandora’s home. He pushed through the door to find a rather normal looking kitchen. There were some pans in the sink, a few bottles of spirits out, and some portraits on the wall that Evan didn’t have the time to really look at. But in the middle of the kitchen? That's where things grew less normal.
There was Barty, he was wearing jorts of all things, alongside a surprisingly nice sweater. Evan couldn’t tell what but there was something different about him, something in the way he held himself. Evan wanted him to say something, say anything . He wanted an apology and he wanted a fight and he wanted Barty to leave and never come back. But he got none of those things, he just got a name.
“Evan.” Just Evan, not Rosie, not Love. Evan. He could taste his bitter heart in his throat and he wished for an instance that it would climb just a bit higher and all the love he’s been hiding away could spill out and pool at his feet. That way he would never have to deal with the burdens of romance again.
“Barty.” God it hurts. Saying that name like there isn't a thousand things he’d rather say, like there isn’t a lifetime of memories attached to it. Maybe now he can pretend they’re just friends. Friends who had seen every inch of the other's skin, friends who have snuck away to kiss out of sight of others, friends who have the names picked out for the pets they wanted to adopt. “How have you been?” And the sentence feels like a promise and a curse and other words that Evan doesn’t know the meaning of.
“It’s been good Rosier,” He doesn’t flinch at the title like he wants to. “I’ve been doing really well.” Evan wished he was lying.
“Me too, I’m glad to hear it. Pass me a drink?” Barty shuffled around and poured a ladle full of the punch that was sitting on the table. It was Dorcas’ recipe and Evan had no doubt it would do well at erasing his memories of whatever happened that night.
He left Barty be after that, taking to watch the party from the corner as if on vigil. He noticed how James kept glancing at Regulus and how Lily was teasing Dorcas and Marlene as the two girls tried to hide their obvious blush. He noticed how Remus kept accidentally catching his gaze, why was the man watching him? To his annoyance he couldn’t help but notice how Barty’s eyes lit up when he saw Pandora. Regardless of the blood he shared with the girl, the bond between her and Barty was like something straight from a story book. That’s how most of Barty’s relationships were at least, platonic or otherwise. They were perfect, well manicured and tailored for the public eye. Barty was a performance until he had gone through one too many shots and was left alone in a room with Evan. God he missed being back at school.
After a second glass of the punch– or had it been three? Numbers aside, (what would one extra glass really do?) Regulus called that they should play a game.
“We could play spin the bottle?” Offered Marlene with a mischievous grin, glancing at Dorcas who was practically attached to her hip.
Evan rolled his eyes. He was not playing spin the bottle. He liked to think they had grown up at least a bit since highschool. His brooding was interrupted by Sirius chiming in with his own idea. “Truth or dare?” Somehow the entire group managed to agree that it was a suitable game. About 11 or so young adults formed their circle on the carpet, drinks in hand.
“Okay,” Regulus began. “When it’s your turn you can pick anyone. They can do a truth or dare and no take backs allowed.” The group hummed in agreement to the rules. “I guess Sirius can go first since it was his idea?”
Sirius seemed more than happy with this and immediately turned to James. “My beautiful loving husband, light of my life, truth or dare?” He winked, grinning that ever so familiar grin.
James picked dare as quickly as he could, raising a few eyebrows from people around him. Sirius didn’t care. “Great okay okay, I dare you to” He pauses, thinking for a second. “kiss the hottest person in the room.”
James gives him a look, as if asking how immature he could really be. “Fine. Regulus, come here.” Evan had never seen Regulus turn his head so fast and he was more than certain the boy had gone and given himself whiplash. “Payback for Sirius giving me the dare right? I kiss his baby brother.” He sees something flash across Regulus’ gaze, was that resentment or realisation? He couldn’t tell.
A few rounds passed before it got to Remus. Remus, who had been watching him all night, occasionally glancing back at Barty. Remus, who Evan was certain knew more than he should. “Evan, truth or dare?” Expected. People really had to start hiding their intentions better.
Now, here was Evan’s train of thought. He could pick truth and even if he was asked something awful he could just lie. He wasn’t that bad at lying, it would be fine and no one would ask questions. Or he could choose dare and risk being told to do something he couldn’t get out of. If he dared to kiss Barty he might simply have to drink himself to death.
“Truth.”
Remus went quiet for just a moment before speaking. “Are you in love with anyone at the moment?”
What sort of a question is that? And why is it so difficult to answer. He didn’t love Barty. He hated him more than he thought humanly possible, hated him so much it made his chest hurt whenever he looked at the boy. So why was it so hard to answer? “No.”
And Barty didn’t react to that. He didn’t flinch, didn’t look hurt, didn’t even glance in Evan’s direction. Now it was Evan’s turn at least, and he had a plan. “Crouch, truth or dare?”
“Dare.” Maybe Barty hadn’t thought about this as much as Evan. Nevertheless, his plan would work out. Nothing wrong with a bit of friendly torture.
“Ok then, sorry Sirius but I’m going to have to copy you here.” Sirius grinned, but Even didn’t care about that. He was instead paying attention to how Barty’s face fell. “I dare you to kiss the most attractive person.”
“Real mature there, Rosier.” Evan rolls his eyes at the comment, watching Barty closely. He realised for half a second that this was a mistake. If Barty kissed someone else he might never recover but if Barty kissed him it might be even worse. He slowly watched Barty glance around the room, before settling on the person right next to him. Pandora. His fucking sister?? He sat and watched as he kissed her. It was short and chaste and nothing more than platonic but it hurt so much. Pandora laughed afterwards, wiping her mouth out to which Barty grinned.
“Sorry Barty, Lily is still better.” Lily laughed, squeezing the girl's hand.
“Oh please, I’ll win you over eventually Pan.” The group turned to soft laughs and people sipping on drinks. Cups had started to run empty and they agreed to get refills before playing again. They shuffled in and out of the kitchen, grabbing cans and cups of whatever they wanted before flooding back into the main room. Not Evan. He didn’t think he could stand to look at anyone for a while.
He stood in a corner, listening to the noises from the next room. No one came to look for him, so he just drank more. It had been maybe only ten minutes before he was discovered. “Too much?” Always. At their parties back at highschool Evan would always distance himself when it got too much. Barty would always find him. Barty’s company was different to other peoples, it didn’t tire him. He was finally able to feel human.
He turned to look at Barty, dragging his tongue along the sharp of his teeth until he could faintly taste blood. “Yeah.”
They stood and stared at each other, minds foggy and hearts beating in their heads. There was so much that Evan wanted to say, so much that he needed to get out. But he just couldn’t pick where to start. “You kissed Pandora.”
“I did. All the girls are pretty of course, I just know her best.” Evan knew Barty liked girls, he had known that for years. He also knew Barty liked guys. He knew Barty liked him, at some point anyway. “I’m straight Evan.”
“No you're not.” It wasn’t accusatory. It was a fact. People need air to breathe. Salt water hurts your eyes. Barty Crouch Jr. was not straight.
“To everyone else I am. That’s how it has to be.” Barty grimaced, referencing the group of people in the other room.
Evan shook his head, almost laughing. He felt hysterical. “Why, Barty? It doesn’t have to be like that.”
Barty scowled slightly. Evan had missed the way his nose scrunched when he got mad and how he would pull his shoulders back and try to look bigger. “You don’t understand Evan. You never understand do you? And you never fucking-” Evan kissed him before he could start a fight.
It was soft and hard and everything all at once. So fucking painful. Evan never wanted it to end. Kissing Barty was like breathing after holding your breath for your whole life, it was swallowing water after running a marathon on an empty stomach. You could just feel the love moving through you. So poisonous.
It lasted for a while, hands tracing the others figure, relearning after months apart. And just as fast as it started it was over. Evan had never seen Barty look that scared, especially not aimed at him. It broke his heart, it broke him. “Bats-”
“No Evan. Don’t- don’t call me that. We’re friends and I’m straight. This was a mistake. I should get going now.”
“No Barty.” He countered. “Stop fucking running. We can work this out. I don’t know why it ended but there has to be something-”
Barty exhaled sharply. “Bye Rosier.” And with that, Barty left. He didn’t even know where he went. For fucks sake, the man lived here. He had somehow chased Barty out of his own home. Evan made his way back into the living room, finding a spot that was empty. The game had ended and the group had transitioned to some weird drinking game that involved multiple people winding up shirtless.
He could tell from how Pandora and Lily were practically eye-fucking eachother that he might not want to return home with them. Luckily Regulus offered him the couch to sleep on when he noticed how Evan was glaring at his sister. He nodded his appreciation and when the party fizzled out and everyone had left he helped Regulus clean.
“I’m not gonna ask why Barty left, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Regulus spoke. “He overthinks things sometimes. I don’t know exactly what’s going on but you should talk to him.”
“Sometimes an issue needs more healing than talking can manage, Reggie.” Evan sighed, picking up the last of the cups that had winded up on the ground.
“Trust me, I know. I also know that you’re one of his best friends. I don’t know exactly why you stopped living together, or why you don’t talk as much, but you’re.. Well, you’re Barty and Evan. You just go together. You’ll make it work.” You’re Barty and Evan. You’ll make it work.
“Yeah. Thanks Reg.” He smiled at the boy, letting him head off to bed, calling one last thing before he disappeared up the stairs. “Reg? If you ever wanna talk about the James thing, I’m always here.”
“What James thing?” Evan raised his eyebrows and watched Regulus’ shoulders soften. “Thanks Ev. I’ve missed you.”
“Missed you too. Sleep well.” He watched Regulus leave before getting himself comfortable on the couch, a hard task really. It wasn’t uncomfortable but it smelled like Barty and knowing that he was sleeping in the same house as where the boy usually was left a weird taste in his mouth. Nevertheless, he fell asleep, already preparing for the hangover in the morning.