Chapter 6
Gryffindor Sluts
(11:30 am)
MaryHadALittleLamb: HIIIIIII
MaryHadALittleLamb: HOW IS THE NEW ROOMMATE
LilysBitch: HI MARY, IT WENT WELL
MaryHadALittleLamb: GOOD!
MaryHadALittleLamb: @IWantCheese @SmartOne#2
MaryHadALittleLamb: WHAT DID YOU THINK
IWantCheese: the first thing he did was ask about the picture of cheese above my bed 🙁
LadyKisser: I WOULD TOO, ITS WEIRD
MaryHadALittleLamb: why the fuck is there a picture of cheese above your bed
SmartOne#1: IM SORRY YOUR WHAT, AND MARLS U KNEW ABOUT THIS AND NEVER TOLD US???
IWantCheese: why are u guys judging my cheese picture
LadyKisser: why would we not 🤨
IWantCheese: because it's beautiful
MaryHadALittleLamb: im gonna act like peter DOESN'T have a cheese shrine
MaryHadALittleLamb: @SmartOne#2
MaryHadALittleLamb: what did u think
SmartOne#2: I already met him before
IWantCheese: u didn't seem to like him very much
SmartOne#2: I like him perfectly fine.
LilysBitch: Remus?
SmartOne#2: What James?
Prongs & Moony
(11:32)
Prongs: are you okay??
Moony: I’m fine James, why wouldn’t I be?
Prongs: you’ve been acting weird all day, are u sure ur okay?
Moony: Yup Im ok
Moony: It's not like my friend has been lying to me right?
Prongs: what?? who’s been lying to you?!
Moony: are you being serious right now?
Prongs: no, im being James
Moony: That isn't funny, considering it was him you were lying to me about.
Prongs: what are u talking about??
Moony: ok fine you’re right you didn’t technically lie but you did let me act like a complete idiot.
Prongs: so i'm guessing you figured out who you were texting?
Moony: yeah i did James.
Prongs: i don't understand why you’re so mad??? you literally agreed to wait until he told you. you KNEW i knew who he was.
Moony: YEA, THAT WAS BEFORE HE WAS LITERALLY MOVING IN WITH US, BEFORE I HAD TO LOOK AT HIM EVERY DAY KNOWING THINGS HE PROBALY DOESN’T WANT HIS FUCKING ROOMMATES TO KNOW, OR HOW ABOUT THE FACT HE’S THE FIRST REAL CRUSH IVE EVER HAD.
Moony: HMMM JAMES?
Prongs: and does him being Sirius change any of your feelings towards him?
Moony: NO AND IT NEVER WILL, I DON'T CARE WHO HE IS, HIM BEING A BLACK WON'T CHANGE ANYTHING I FEEL TOWARDS HIM, JUST MAKE ME HATE THE BLACK FAMILY MORE.
Moony: I'M JUST REALLY FUCKING PISSED THAT I JUST HAVE TO SIT HERE AND TALK TO BOTH HIM AND SIRIUS AND PRETEND THAT I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR AT LEAST ONE VERSION OF HIM THAT I KNOW VERY WELL.
Prongs: then tell him who you are and you won't have to talk to both of them
Moony: NOO
Moony: I CAN'T JUST DO THAT
Prongs: why not?
Moony: BECAUSE I ALREADY TOLD HIM I WOULD WAIT FOR HIM TO BE READY AND FOR HIM TO TELL ME.
Prongs: …
Prongs: im done with ur dumbass
Gay Bitches
(11:40 am)
DoraTheExplorer: HEY SIRIUS HOW DID IT GO?
IncestBaby#1: okayish i think??
DoraTheExplorer: WHAT HAPPENED? WERE THEY MEAN? I CAN CURSE THEM!!!
IncestBaby#1: NO
IncestBaby#1: ITS OKAY I JUST DON’T THINK REMUS LIKES ME THAT MUCH
ManHaterForcedToMarryAMan: HUH?
ManHaterForcedToMarryAMan: I THOUGHT HE LIKED YOU?
IncestBaby#1: I THOUGHT HE DID TOO BUT HE WOULDN'T EVEN LOOK AT ME AT ALL TODAY AND IT WAS ALMOST LIKE HIS FACE WOULD JUST GO PALE IDEK.
ManHaterForcedToMarryAMan: MAYBE HE'S SICK
IncestBaby#1: I ASKED HE SAID NO SO IDFK WHAT HIS PROBLEM WAS
CultLeader: BITCH
CultLeader: WHORE
CultLeader: CUNT
IncestBaby#1: maybe he’s homophobic
IncestBaby#2: …
IncestBaby#2: I don’t think so sirius.
IncestBaby#1: and how would u know?
IncestBaby#2: Trust me, I just do.
James.P, Lily.E, & Regulus
(11:42 am)
(Regulus Changed “James.P” to “James” & “Lily.E” to “Lily”)
(Regulus changed chat name to “they are fucking idiots”)
Regulus: “MaYbE hEs HoMoPhObIc” ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????
James: HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH???!!!??!?!?!?!
James: I BEG UT FINIEST PARDON
Regulus: THAT'S WHAT SIRIUS SAID WHEN HE WAS TALKING ABOUT WHY HE THINKS REMUS DOESN'T LIKE HIM.
Lily: NO FUCKING WAY
Lily: THERY ARE FUCKING IDIOTS
Regulus: THATS THE BIGGEST BISEXUAL TO EVER BISEXUAL WHAT THE FUCK.
James: I HAVE LIVED WITH HIM HOW LONG AND I CAN CONFIRM U R RIGHT, WTF IS SIRIUS ON 😭
Regulus: I DON'T KNOW BUT SOMEONE NEEDS TO SMACK SOME SENSE INTO HIM
James: maybe not smack… 💀
Lily: yea probably not
Lily: might remind him of burger lady and onion man
Regulus: …
Regulus: Don't make me change your names back.
Lily: NO.
James: NOO!!
LesbianLoser & GiveMeAllTheGenders
(12:12 pm)
LesbianLoser: Ur my new best friend <3
GiveMeAllTheGenders: was I not always
LesbianLoser: no
LesbianLoser: sirius was because i had to marry him but gave me bad advice so hes been demoted
GiveMeAllTheGenders: does this mean i don't get to be a flower girl anymore
GiveMeAllTheGenders: wow i'm so honored
LesbianLoser: maybe at my funeral
LesbianLoser: and u should be
GiveMeAllTheGenders: i would love to throw flower petals at people at ur funeral
LesbianLoser: see this is why i chose u as my new best friend
LesbianLoser: <3
GiveMeAllTheGenders: tell sirius to kiss my ass<3
LesbianLoser: ehh i gonna let him be, hes pissy casue his stranger left him on read when he asked to play two truths and a lie.
GiveMeAllTheGenders: oh boo hoo
GiveMeAllTheGenders: speaking of strangers
GiveMeAllTheGenders: how’s yours
LesbianLoser: UGHHHHHHHHHHHGHHGHHGHGHHH
LesbianLoser: SHES MARLENE FUCKING MCKIONNON
GiveMeAllTheGenders: WHAT
LesbianLoser: YEA THIS WHOLE TIME I'VE BEEN TEXTING MARLENE, AND I KNOW ITS HER BUT SHE DOESN’T KNOW ITS ME AND IDK WHAT TO DO, AND NOW SHE KNOWS THAT I'VE TRIED AND FAILED TWICE TO KMS AND SIRIUS BASICALLY TOLD ME TO LIE TO HER
GiveMeAllTheGenders: ok maybe dont go to sirius for advice??? like ever??
GiveMeAllTheGenders: and you should probably tell her soon
LesbianLoser: ikr?
LesbianLoser: but im scared barty
LesbianLoser: what if she hates me so she stops talking to me or she uses what she knows against me.
GiveMeAllTheGenders: I mean it is a real possibility but don't you wanna do it soon and get it over with instead of waiting and stressing yourself out when you do not need to.