Chapter 1
Prongs & Moony
(10:30 am)
Prongs: Hello
Moony: Hi
Prongs: Who are you?
Moony: who are YOU?
Prongs: Well seeing as YOU have my phone I want to know first.
Moony: I only took it so nobody else would. I was trying to find a way to get it back to you
Prongs: Oh. Well thank you
Moony: Sooo where are you so I can give it back to you?
Prongs: I am not telling you, you could be a stalker.
Moony: So you have a problem telling me where you are to give you back your phone but you have no problem leaving your phone around without a password.
Moony: ALSO what the fuck is going on with the contact names
Prongs: None of your business and yes.
Moony: What the fuck is a prongs.
Prongs: A nickname.
Moony: I’d kms if one of my friends started calling me Prongs.💀
Prongs: Well then you probably don't have funny friends.
Moony: No they’re funny. Also how do you expect me to get ur phone back to you without telling me where u are??
Prongs: Idk man just leave it somewhere and i’ll pick it up
Moony: I’ll leave it outside the gryffindor common room. I hope someone steals it <3
Prongs: Cunt <3
Moony: Putting my number in ur phone as we speak<3
Literally just punching bags
(Dorcas, Regulus, Sirius, Barty)
(10:48 am)
Dogboy: Bro
CultLeader: What
INeedFloaties: What do you want
CronicallySingle: Die
Dogboy: :((
CronicallySingle: I.Was.Sleeping
Dogboy: I.Don’t.Care
Dogboy: Anyway what kind of idiot doesn't have a password on their phone and then LOSES THEIR PHONE
CultLeader: LMAFOOO, LOSER
INeedFloaties: Who’s phone was it and why did you take it?
CronicallySingle: Im pretty sure if he knew Regulus then he would have given it back, lets use our brains, even the incest brains.
INeedFloaties: :|
Dogboy: i did nothing :(
CronicallySingle: I.WAS.SLEEPING
Dogboy: I.DONT.CARE
CronicallySingle: WELL FUCK U
Dogboy: NO THANK U I DONT LIKE U LIKE THAT
CronicallySingle: oh and like I do 🤨
Dogboy: u loveeee me
CronicallySingle: mine and your parents wish
Dogboy: ANYWAYS regulus idk who’s phone it was. just that they’re friends with someone they call “Prongs” wtf kind of nickname is that
CronicallySingle: ain’t no way 💀
INeedFloaties: how would someone even come up with a nickname like that
Dogboy: and the person who lost his phones nickname is Moony
CultLeader: I’d actually kms
Dogboy: we tried
CronicallySingle: we tried
CronicallySingle: whore I was going to say that 😒
Dogboy: too bad🤍
Gryffindor Sluts
(James,Remus,Peter,Marlene,Mary,Lily)
(11:16 am)
LadyKisser: why the fuck is Dorcas Meadowes in our common room
LilysBitch: WHAT?
IWantCheese: bc she’s friends with Sirius Black i think
SmartOne#1: guys she’s really not that bad
LadyKisser: love u but u said the same thing about severus
SmartOne#1: ok well that’s different, she’s not a little greasy bitch who’s gonna call me a slur
LadyKisser: and how do u know that🤨
SmartOne#1: I just do, ok
LilysBitch: OH GUYS JUST SO U KNOW REMUS DOESN'T HAVE HIS PHONE SO IF HE WON'T TEXT U THATS WHY
MaryHadALittleLamb: why doesn’t he have his phone
LilysBitch: I lost it at party and some random person picked it up- Remus
LadyKisser: loser
MaryHadALittleLamb: this is why I told u to put a password on it 🤦♀️
IWantCheese: I thought you said the person said they were gonna put it outside the common room for u to go get
LilysBitch: they are, later at night tho- Remus
LadyKisser: does fucking batman have ur phone or smth???
MaryHadALittleLamb: sounds like it 💀
LadyKisser: MARY. DO U SEE THE WAY DORCAS AND SIRIUS ARE GLARING AT US. THEY’RE SUCH CUNTS
SmartOne#1: MARLENE, BE NICE
LadyKisser: NO LILY YOU'RE NOT HERE YOU CAN’T SEE IT. THEY'RE STARING AT US THE WAY SEVERUS STARES AT JAMES
SmartOne#1: Marlene I’m sure they aren’t doing it on purpose we
IWantCheese: I don't understand why they’re not in the Slytherin common room
LilysBitch: probably cause the slytherin common room is in the dungeon, I also would not want to be there 💀
IWantCheese: that’s fair I just prefer when sirius is not here
MaryHadALittleLamb: real
SmartOne#1: you guys are rude
LadyKisser: no we’re not it’s just the truth
SmartOne#1: whatever
James & Lily
(11:30 am)
Lily: what is Marls problem with Dorcas, I get the whole Quidditch rivalry, but this is more
James: maybe she's trying to give herself an enemies to lovers storyline
Lily: so u caught on to that too, she definitely likes her whether she wants to admit it and or not
James: oh yeah definitely
Lily: ok but like what’s her problem with Sirius, he’s literally never done anything to us
James: nobody likes sirius
Lily: why, what did I miss 😭
James: his family is fucking crazy and nobody really knows why hes not in Slytherin and its just weird
Lily: I mean I trust you guys but that’s a really shitty reason not to like some one
James: he’s also just lowkey a bitch. marlene tried to start a conversation with him in first year and he just walked away and acted like he didnt hear her
Lily: oh that’s not
Fiancée & Fiancé
(Dorcas & Sirius)
(11:42 am)
Fiancée: why are those Gryffindor bitches staring at us
Fiancé: UR SEEING IT TOO??
Fiancée: YEA ITS FUCKING WEIRD
Fiancé: NOW U UNDERSTAND WHY I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME IN UR COMMON ROOM???
Fiancée: YES, MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST LEAVE AND GO TO THE RAVENCLAW COMMON ROOM WITH BARTY AND PANDORA, I THINK EVAN IS THERE TOO
Fiancé: YES PLEASE AND NEVER YELL AT ME AGAIN WHEN I DECIDE TO SPEND THE NIGHT ON THE COUCH IN UR COMMON ROOM NOW THAT YOU’VE EXPERIENCED WHAT MY LIFE IS LIKE HERE.
Fiancée: I WONT I PROMISE 😭🙏
Gryffindor Sluts
(11:44 am)
LadyKisser: Not them leaving after glaring at us
IWantCheese: Maybe they got uncomfortable because you guys most likely glared back at them????
SmartOne#1: I agree with Peter, you guys were being really rude
LadyKisser: ok well maybe they shouldn’t be in here then
IWantCheese: I don’t like them either but i'm pretty sure they have resting bitch faces. they usually look pissed off. also it is still sirius’s area too
LadyKisser: ok well that’s fair, I still just don’t like them, mainly meadows
LilysBitch: mhmmmm
SmartOne#1: yeah TOTALLY
LadyKisser: what the hell is that supposed to me James, Lily 🤨
LilysBitch: when looking at someone you ‘hate’ you’re not supposed to look at their lips.
SmartOne#1: also when you are ‘glaring’ at ur enemy u r not supposed to eye fuck them
LadyKisser: I DON'T???
SmartOne#1: ookkk
MaryHadALittleLamb: Marlene I love you but bffr
LadyKisser: i hate her wtf are u talking about
SmartOne#1: I’m sure you do
Better than the marauders
(Marlene,Lily, Mary)
(11:50 am)
Flowergirl: Marlene
Marls: WHAT?!?
OldMacDonald: I need u to be so fr
Flowergirl: dorcas isn’t even that bad just admit you like her😭
OldMacDonald: no literally
Marls: I literally don't?!?!
Flowergirl: So this is the route we’re going with this?
Marls: i literally dont know what u guys are talking about
OldMacDonald: how are u dumber than james
Marls: I'M NOT??
OldMacDonald: suuuure just keep lying to yourself i guess :/
Marls: I hate you both
Prongs & Moony
(1:00 pm)
Prongs: so like can i have my phone back now
Moony: just when i was about to go thru ur camera roll :(
Prongs: DONT
Moony: holy fuck i was joking- do u have dick pics in there or smth😭
Prongs: NOO, i just like my privacy, and plus i don’t want you to know who i am
Moony: besides texting you, the most i've done on your phone is put my number in it
Prongs: You were serious about that
Moony: im always serious
Prongs: oh im sure you are 🙄
Moony: you’d find that hilarious if we knew each other
Prongs: Im sure i would, now seriously when are you giving me my phone back
Moony: i’ll give it to minnie so nobody takes it. im in ur contacts as “hot mf that saved ur phone🤍” u can obviously just change it to hot mf if u want
Prongs: Mcgonagal?, why would YOU give it to her and why do YOU call her Minnie
Moony: im gonna give it to her so its safe until u get it from her. also how do YOU know who im talking about if YOU DON’T call her that🤨
Prongs: Thats none of ur business
Moony: exactly. so u don’t need to know why i call her minnie.
Prongs: Thats different, and yes i do.
Moony: why??
Prongs: Because.
Moony: why do i need to tell you if you can just say that it’s none of my business
Prongs: Because i don't know who you are
Moony: i don’t know who you are either
Prongs: Ok thats fair, but how do i know she actually likes you and you don't just call her that to be rude 🤨
Moony: trust me, she LOVES me. and i could never be rude to minnie
Prongs: Fine, im going to trust you on that but only because i want my phone back
Moony: giving it to her rn. text me when you get ittt
Prongs: Ur so weird but alr
hot mf that saved ur phone🤍 & Moony<3
(1:15 pm)
Moony<3 Changed “hot mf that saved ur phone🤍” to “HotMF🤍”
HotMF🤍: so u agree that im hot?
Moony<3: Shut up
HotMF🤍: no ty
Moony<3: so r u gonna tell me how you got close to Minnie 🤨
HotMF🤍: are YOU gonna tell ME how you got close to minnie
Moony<3: I asked you first
HotMF🤍: i don't understand why its such a big deal
Moony<3: because i want to know
HotMF🤍: why are u allowed to have privacy and im not
Moony<3: ok fine, here’s your privacy, Bye
HotMF🤍: holy fuck i should’ve just let someone steal ur phone