What the fuck?!

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
F/F
F/M
M/M
G
What the fuck?!
Summary
Harry Potter, after blowing up his Aunt, is sent to stay at the leaky cauldron. And gets bored. Who wouldn't? Any 13 year old would be after all. So, after a while, he decided to pop to explore Diagon Alley and buy a few things. Chaos follows, like it usually does. Fun, right? !TITLE MAY CHANGE, I'M CONSATNLY UNSURE OF IT!!I WRITE THIS LATE AT NIGHT, WHEN I CAN'T SLEEP, SO UPDATES ARE ALMOST ALWAYS WRITTEN IN ONE NIGHT AND ARE UNEDITED, I WILL EDIT AS I GO AND PROBABLY REWRITE ONCE IT'S FINISHED! This fic is subtly inspired by Lily's Boy (Go read if you haven't its so good ive read it like 7 times) as well as every fic and prompt ive probably ever read, but ofc is my own work, so it will NOT be the same. There will be big differences.
All Chapters Forward

The Start of Term and Patronus lessons.

"So, basically, I'll be getting less sleep in the far future?"

 

It was the returning day for students. The morning to be exact. The rest of term had passed by relatively quickly, and before they knew it, they'd be in lessons tomorrow.

 

Currently, they were sat at breakfast, reading tea leaves. Out of pure boredom

 

"Yes. But, you see this here?" Hermione said, turning the cup a few degrees, allowing Harrison to get a glimpse of another symbol he hadn't noticed before.

 

"Changes. That means challenges, if I'm correct?" He took a glance at Ron, who was holding the book on the signs and symbols.

 

"Spot on mate." He grinned.

 

"I'm improving." Harrison said, a smile on his face, "Your turn."

 

Ron sighed, but picked up his own cup. Trelawny had told them it was much harder to read your own cup than another's, but they were about the exact same level.

 

He moved the cup around, spinning it in his hand. "I recon," He started after a while, "This here is the Chain, so responsibility or a series of events. And then this one on the other side is a tree. A Palm Tree? Possibly?" He scratched his neck, "That would be a good omen, if I remember correctly."

 

He gave the cup for Hermione to examine. She was best at this after all.

 

She nodded after a minute, before saying, "Yes, though you did miss The Anchor."

 

Harrison paused in eating his toast, slowly turning to look at Hermione.

 

On their first day of Divination, she got The Anchor.

 

"Upcoming romance, huh Ron?" He asked, not taking his eyes off of Hermione, a smirk forming.

 

"Yeah, Near Future apparently," Ron said, blushing lightly.

 

Hermione refused to look at Harrison, "You're improving though. Soon, you might be as good as me."

 

Ron snorted, as Harrison went back to eating his toast, unable to keep his eyes flickering between the two. "Ok, Seer-in-the-making."

 

Hermione scrunched up her nose, stuck her tongue out and threw a hash-brown, hitting him square in the forehead. It stayed there for a moment, before falling onto his plate.

 

"Will you ever stop throwing things at me?" He asked, taking a bite out of the same hash-brown.

 

"Will you ever stop eating?" She retorted.

 

Harrison groaned, pushing his plate back, and thumping his head on the table. "How did I not see this before?"

 

Ron, with a confused frown, looked at him before turning to Hermione, who was blushing. "What am I missing?"

 

"Nothing, Ronald. Don't think too hard on it," Hermione said, smiling at him.

 

====================

 

The return back to lessons was easy and quick paced. Gryffindor returned back to its crowded, noisy self once again. 

 

They were now doing palmistry in Divination, which again, Hermione found easier than the rest. According to Trelawny, Harrison had the shortest life line she'd ever seen. Which was just bollocks, because Hermione said it was far from short, and he believed Hermione more than the life-sized dragonfly. 

 

Arithmancy had them doing simple trigonometry, and again Hermione and Harrison helped Ron catch up to them and their knowledge of the subject easily.

 

And despite their, and the majority of the student body's, complaints at first of COMC, they all found themselves enjoying the lessons with a bonfire and the numerous Salamanders.

 

Harrison had spoken with DADA with Lupin, and they'd be meeting Thursday to practice the Patronus. The werewolf looked better now than around Christmas, as the full moon got further away.

 

It was now Thursday, Potions to be exact. He'd been paired up with Malfoy for some reason. Probably an excuse to actually be able to give Harrison a good grade without admitting he was actually doing better.

 

It was about half an hour into the lesson when Malfoy spoke up, not looking up from the ingredients he was cutting. "Seriously, Potter, what are you up to?"

 

Harrison gave him a sideways look, continuing to stir the potion. "Well, I believe I'm stirring the potion at the moment."

 

"Don't play dumb," He hissed. "Your acting differently."

 

He shrugged a shoulder, unsure on what to say. Can't exactly tell an 'enemy' your secrets, can you? 

 

"I just came to the realisation that something so small, like house rivalries and petty enemies, don't matter in the long run."

 

Malfoy stopped cutting, looking up at him. "You've said. You didn't elaborate."

 

"Well, I supposedly have a killer after me at the moment," He drawled. He may not think Black was after him personally, but others did, so it was a good excuse.

 

Malfoy scoffed, "That can't be it."

 

"Is it so hard to believe?"

 

Malfoy didn't get to answer, as Snape approached, making a snide remark at Harrison, lingering around them for the next short while.

 

Malfoy silently gave the ingredients to Harrison, who dropped them into the potion as the instructions stated.

 

By the time Snape had walked out of earshot, meaning Malfoy could speak up again, the dungeon-bat announced they had to bottle their potions, label them, and leave.

 

========================

 

At eight o'clock that evening, Harrison walked to the classroom Lupin told him to meet at. He had finished up the Heir lesson with Neville early, and had been bored for 2 hours.

 

It was one of the History of Magic classrooms, emptier than most others, yet magic lingered around from Binn's presence. Harrison could practically see where the man had paced at the front of the classroom, the feel of the magic there being strongest. The room itself though hadn't been used in a while, and was closest to the Ravenclaw common rooms, yet there was still a bit of a distance.

 

The lingering magic was fading, he could feel that. Apart from some magic lingering on a book by the bookcase. He'd have to check that out later on.

 

"What's in there?" He asked, closing the door. The room was dimly lit, and there was a large case in the middle of the room.

 

"A boggart," Lupin stated, "It had been lurking inside Mr. Filnch's cabinet. Man never noticed, as it took the form of a prank item to him."

 

Harrison snorted.

 

Lupin's lips twitched upwards, before continuing, "You said you believed the boggart would take place of a dementor, so this is as close to a real one as we can get."

 

Harrison hummed, walking further into the classroom, "Do you think it will mimic all the effects a dementor does? The coldness, remembering bad memories?" Sucking out bloody souls.

 

"To an extent, I believe so yes. I doubt it could perform a Kiss, or that the effects will be as... intense."

 

He hummed again. "Not that bad I suppose?"

"Not at all. I can store him in my office when we're not using it."

 

"Alright."

 

In unison, they took out their wands. Harrison from his holster,  Lupin from his inner pocket.

 

"The spell that I am going to try and teach you...."

 

=======================

 

The lesson was... bittersweet. In numerous ways. For one, the memory got worse. He remembered more, heard more.

 

The sound of someone stumbling -- a door bursting open -- a cackle of high-pitched laughter. 

 

He heard his father's voice for the first time. He heard his mother begging and pleading for Voldemort to kill her and not Harry, not my Harrison, please not Harry!

 

His only memory of his parents was their deaths. 

 

And yet, he performed a shield. Granted, the memory was most likely not even real, had no words, and was most likely a dream he had after first year, but he was able to perform a shield. The memory he used was his mother smiling down at him. He thinks with a merge of the pictures Hagrid gave him and the smile she gave him in the mirror sparked it, but he didn't give it much thought.

 

He ate a lot of chocolate after as well, he and Lupin- Remus, he insisted and Harrison was still getting used to- chat on the way back to Gryffindor Tower, joking around and both sharing stories.

 

It was nice.

 

=========

 

The Ravenclaw v Slytherin match was two weeks after term, and Slytherin won narrowly. According to Wood, this was good news and insisted the team got in more practice. Not Harrison though, thankfully, as Wood seemed perfectly confident in his skill, and he continued with his two nights, saying he will occasionally do a third if he had finished homework.

 

Between the trio, getting homework done was easy, and they found themselves numerous times just doing whatever. They did palm reading, tea leaves, muggle maths, arithmancy, studied a bit into the forth year curriculum in ancient runes, anything they could be bothered with, really.

 

"Maybe we should've taken Muggle studies as well." Ron said, laying on the floor in the Gryffindor common room, all three surrounded in a privacy charm, "Maybe it'd give us something more to do".

 

"You could search for Scabbers?" Hermione suggested, sat not too far, on the floor, from his head. The rat went missing the night before, and they'd only noticed due to Crookshank's manic meowing. 

 

"The rat is better off gone. I rather no pet than him."

 

Harrison paused from drawing Ron sprawled out on the floor. "How're you even allowed him? Isn't it an owl, cat, or toad only?"

 

This caused a small silence between them.

 

"Dumbledore." They answered in unison.

 

Ron sighed again, "Wish there was more things we could study. Like, wouldn't healing be so useful?"

 

"Muggle subjects as well, I miss English." Harrison said, "Would be helpful for those who want to return to the muggle world after Hogwarts as well. There's so much more we can do out there than in the wizarding one."

 

"We could study for our GCSE's," Hermione offered, "Take them during the summer of 5th year."

 

"Would give us more to do." Harrison agreed. 

 

"Could I join?" Ron asked, "If you follow through, maybe there's some muggle job that I find interest in."

 

The two that had grown up in the muggle world turned to him, "You have no documentation." Hermione said after a moment.

 

"Yeah, you legally don't exist to them."

 

"I'm going to mail the Ministry and see if they can get me some."

 

"That's..."

 

"Genius? I know."

 

"Very likely to fail."

 

"Most people say that about becoming an animagus, and look at us. Thirteen and one and a half steps away."

 

Hermione looked at him for a long moment, before sighing, "Go do it then, you have a good chance if it's before February 17th."

 

"Why, what happens February 17th?" Harrison asked.

 

"I don't know. Just a feeling."

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