Albus Dumbledore's Guide to Love, Time, and Questionable Life Choices

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Gen
G
Albus Dumbledore's Guide to Love, Time, and Questionable Life Choices
Summary
Answer to Reddit Prompt: "Professor, why are we selling illegal substances in Knockturn Alley?" Harry asked Dumbledore, who was arguing price with an old hag "Well Harry, I recently learned I have to pay support for my many illegitimate children, most from magical creatures." Dumbledore said
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The Department of Mysteries

Chapter 5: The Department of Mysteries

The elevator doors slid open with a soft ding, revealing the dimly lit corridors of the Department of Mysteries. Harry had been here once before, during the chaos of his fifth year, and the memories of that night still sent a shiver down his spine. The walls seemed to hum with an eerie energy, and the air was thick with the scent of old parchment and something faintly metallic.

Dumbledore stepped out of the elevator, his robes billowing dramatically behind him. “Ah, the Department of Mysteries,” he said, his voice filled with reverence. “A place where the boundaries of reality blur and the mysteries of the universe unfold.”

Harry followed cautiously, his hand instinctively reaching for his wand. “Sir, why exactly are we here? What does the Department of Mysteries have to do with the missing goblet?”

Dumbledore turned to him, his eyes twinkling with that familiar mischief. “Harry, my boy, the Department of Mysteries is home to many secrets—secrets that could shed light on our current predicament. And besides,” he added with a wink, “I’ve always found the Time Room to be particularly… stimulating.”

Harry groaned. “Sir, please tell me we’re not here for another… ritual.”

Dumbledore chuckled. “Not at all, Harry. We’re here to consult the Unspeakables. They have a unique perspective on matters of the heart—and matters of theft.”

As they made their way down the corridor, Harry couldn’t help but notice the strange looks they were getting from the Unspeakables. The hooded figures whispered to each other as they passed, their voices hushed but filled with a mix of awe and… something else. Something that made Harry’s skin crawl.

“Dumbledore,” one of the Unspeakables said, stepping forward. “We’ve been expecting you.”

Dumbledore smiled serenely. “Ah, Unspeakable Croaker. Always a pleasure. I trust you’ve made progress on our little… project?”

Croaker nodded, his expression unreadable. “We have. But I must warn you, the results are… unconventional.”

Harry frowned. “What project? What are you talking about?”

Dumbledore placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “All in good time, my boy. For now, let us focus on the task at hand.”

They were led to a large, circular room filled with strange artifacts—hourglasses that glowed with an inner light, mirrors that reflected nothing but darkness, and a large, ornate door that seemed to pulse with energy. In the center of the room stood a pedestal, upon which rested a shimmering, silver goblet.

Harry’s eyes widened. “Is that… the Goblet of Charisma?”

Dumbledore nodded. “Indeed, Harry. It seems the goblet has found its way here, to the Department of Mysteries.”

Croaker stepped forward, his voice low. “We discovered it in the Time Room, surrounded by a temporal anomaly. It appears that someone—or something—brought it here from another time.”

Harry’s mind raced. “Another time? But why?”

Dumbledore stroked his beard thoughtfully. “That, my boy, is the question. But I believe the answer lies in the goblet itself.”

He reached out and picked up the goblet, his fingers brushing against its smooth surface. As he did, the room seemed to shift, the air growing heavy with an almost tangible energy. The goblet began to glow, its light spreading out in tendrils that wrapped around Dumbledore like a cocoon.

“Dumbledore!” Harry shouted, reaching out to him. But before he could touch the Headmaster, the light flared, blinding him momentarily.

When the light faded, Dumbledore was gone.

Harry stared at the empty space where Dumbledore had been, his heart pounding in his chest. “What… what just happened?”

Croaker stepped forward, his expression grim. “It seems the goblet has… activated. And it has taken Dumbledore with it.”

Harry’s mind raced. “Where did it take him?”

Croaker shook his head. “We don’t know. But if I had to guess, I’d say he’s been transported to another time—a time when the goblet’s power was at its peak.”

Harry groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Of course. Because why wouldn’t Dumbledore get himself sent to another time?”

Croaker placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Potter. We’ll find him. But in the meantime, you might want to prepare yourself.”

Harry looked up, his eyes narrowing. “Prepare myself? For what?”

Croaker’s expression was unreadable. “For whatever Dumbledore brings back with him. Because if there’s one thing we know about Albus Dumbledore, it’s that he never returns from an adventure… alone.”

Harry sighed, realizing that this was just the beginning of another bizarre, Dumbledore-induced mess. And as he stared at the glowing goblet, he couldn’t help but wonder what—or who—Dumbledore would bring back this time.

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