counting your scars and missing the stars [discontinued]

The last thing he remembers is loud voices grinding into his ears, drowning out any other noise besides the thumping of his throbbing heart, and sprinting as fast as he could into the eerie night until his fingers and feet were numb to the tips. The gravel crunching under his rugged shoes that were falling apart at the stems and the cold he was so cold, why was it so cold- burning down deep in the middle of his fragile bones. He was so sure that he was going to die. That his last moments were going to spent being so fucking cold. Death didn’t become him, that or the afterlife involves a hefty comforter over his body and a hazy fire crackling a couple feet away. He tries to look closely around the unfamiliar place, but is unable to focus his eyes on anything. There’s fuzzy green walls, what may be a portrait of a tall, dark woman with two little girls but their faces are blurry and all the dark colors all mush together, and then a single red rose in a vase of water. He has a sister named Rose, how was she doing anyways? He hopes she’s okay. His thought process is slow from just waking up, and him still being half-asleep. God, he’s so tired, when was the last time he slept? He notes that the only light source was the fire, before dropping his head back on the pillow; sleep overcoming him again as the footsteps pass behind the closed door.

The next time he wakes up, the fire is dead and sunlight is peeking through the grass green curtains. He grunts and struggles to raise his hand to his face, he can tell his shades aren’t on when he sees his fingers are an abnormal shade of bright red that isn’t veiled by the tinted glass. His head is reeling, yet that combined with his half awake state, he still knows that fingers were not supposed to usually look like that. Especially his weirdly scarred, skinny ones. He struggles to keep his eyes open, dropping his hand back on the bedspread because it got too heavy to raise anymore, and his pathetic, half-assed efforts fail in the end.

The final time he wakes up is because of the soft, enchanting music that he can hear faintly coming from behind the door. After rubbing his eyes to shake the drowsiness that held him, Dave falters when he sits up; this obviously isn’t his room. It’s too pristine, too clean, too much like a house you would see in a generic sitcom. That’s his first thought, his second thought is that’s it’s Karkat’s room, but that went out the window as quickly as it came inside. He didn’t stay at his traitorous/not-traitorous friend’s house because he left, ran away in the dead of night. So, the obvious answer is the worst one.

He’s back with Bro.

But Bro doesn’t have pictures of calming, lapping waves at the beach or a small bookshelf that looks more organized than the whole apartment he lives in, and it’s weird that there’s no puppets or smuppets or whatever the fuck Cal was around, but that just means he’s going to get the jump on him. Comparing how he reacted last night with the mere mention of his name, Dave is acting strangely calm about this; (there’s no time to be freaking out or acting scared, he needs to rely on his instincts and survive. God knows how pissed Bro is.)

He slides out from under the quilt, hesitating the moment when he lowers his foot on the ground and recoiling inside himself when the floorboard mildly creaks under his weight. Walking as if he’s not even there come as naturally as riding a bike for the first time after years, it doesn’t go away. (Everything Bro taught him is stuck in his mind like a worn out piece of gum stuck under the desk at a public high school). There’s a framed picture of a gorgeous lady who has to be over six feet tall with a jade colored scarf wrapped around her head and really bright eyes that light up, she’s holding a newborn baby while a ten year old smiles with fake twin fangs peeking out of her mouth. It takes a second to click in his mind that the child looks a lot like Porrim, and if that’s Porrim then that’s Kanaya and their mother.

It means that he’s in their house. His legs shake as he almost lets out a sigh of pure relief, (sure he doesn’t know for sure a so making any sound is still a bad idea), and creeps towards the closed door, slipping his shades on that were sitting on the drawer beside him. Who knows what could be behind the door, hopefully the outlay of Kanaya’s house from what he’s seen during the rare times he’s came to get Rose, (because he got worried when she wasn’t answering her texts, not because their mother noticed her absence and wanted her to come home). His fingers are oddly stiff as he closes them around the doorknob, but he doesn’t think much of it.

He sneaks down the hallway, and into the kitchen, where Mrs. Maryam is humming along to the music as she pulls out a tray of freshly baked chocolate-chip cookies that already make his mouth water, he hasn't eaten in what has to be more than (oh god, it's 2 in the afternoon) twenty hours give or take. It's been awhile since he's seen her, and she’s as tall as he remembers, which is really fucking tall. Dave watches as she sets the tray down on the marble counters, and speaks up, “Mrs. Maryam?” She turns around, taking her oven mitts off, and smiles, “David, I didn’t know you were up. If I did, I would’ve made you a mug of hot chocolate.”

She must've noticed his displeasure because her smile turns sympathetic, “Is that why Karkat texted Kanaya how to treat burns, and how those bandages were on your hands?” He nods, swiftly, and sits on the stool she gestures too. He didn’t even notice those were off. Mrs. Maryam was always nice to him when he was there before, but it doesn’t explain how he got there in the first place. “Um, what happened last night? How did I get here?” God damn, his voice sounds terrible. He bets ten thousand dollars that he looks like shit too. But then Mr. Weasel bets that he looks more like shit than him, but that can’t be true because Dave’s the raging champ of looking like crap first thing after he wakes up. That cursed bedhead will be the death of him.

She sighs and explains, “Kanaya saw you run out of Karkat’s house, and notified me immediately. I alerted the police and then went out there myself, but John was the one who knew where you were. You had ran all the way to the park, and had frostnip by the time we got to you. Everyone was worried, especially Karkat; he wouldn’t have left your side if he had the option. Fortunately, you were okay and didn’t need to be admitted to the hospital, but unfortunately no one could get a hold of your mother. We didn’t even know if you would’ve made it to the hospital, it’s an hour away in a car. We called Rose,” she adds, “She’s here.”

Okay, that story adds up, he thinks. She believes it is, literally, so it’s just him being paranoid. Again. To be fair, Karkat having powers is becoming more and more likely because the evidence is just piling up. (Who cares if he’s being irrational, and only got suspicious yesterday). Because why the hell does his brother know Bro’s name, they obviously aren't pals with the whole throwing out thing, and oh, he had also forgot that Kankri spelled out in sparkly red letters that he's telepathic. That's fucking great. How long does he have left before the government comes busting out of the windows, or Bro comes bursting through the door? He doesn’t know which one he would prefer. (That’s a lie, he does know.)

“Though, Dave, I think the question here is how are you feeling?”

He stays silent. There’s no way he cam sum up with what he’s feeling, there’s too many emotions swirling around inside of him and he just wants to forget that yesterday ever happened. Fuck, he was doing so well with adjusting, and it backfired all in his face with the simple question: ‘who cleans the house?’ You know what, he’s is going to make it until he makes it because he swears to everything that one bad day isn’t going to take the rug out from under him. He’ll just..avoid the Vantas family and move in with Roxy, or Dirk (if he picks up the fucking phone for once and not respond with creepy emails), and never see this town again.

Maybe he should just not think right now.

The sound of Maryam’s heels on the tile, she’s walking away, (she’s gone), remind him of his mother, who in which remind him of Rose and how she’s here. He should see her. He hopes she’s didn’t get worried, he already feels crappy for snapping at her from before.

“You stupid, stupid boy.”

He closes his eyes and takes a deep inhale as Rose grabs his arm, her dull nails not doing any damage to his thin sleeve. And he may of just realized that this isn’t his shirt, or sweatshirt, again.“‘Sup.” She stays silent and he opens his eyes, catching her glare in the foradesent lights from the ceiling. “Do you know how I felt when John calls me at  four in the morning, blubbering on how you’re dying and no one’s telling him anything? John Egbert was the one who called me to tell me my brother was dying and Karkat Vantas was the one who called him. Do you- Do you have any idea how that felt? I was three hours away, I couldn’t do anything! Thank god, Porrim had the decency to pick me up, but still what the hell were you thinking?! Running out with a sweatshirt that’s falling apart at the seams?! Sure, that seems like a splendid idea, I don’t know why I didn’t think of that.”

“I’m fine,” he manages to get in before she starts ranting more, but that was the worst thing to say in the moment. She grabs his hands and yanks it up in front of his face, his fingers bright red and the tips a murky yellow. “Does this look fine to you? You have literal frostbite, Dave. Thankfully Mrs. Maryam here is a doctor, or else who knows- you might of ended up dead!” She’s almost to tears, hysterica rising in her voice, and each word if a knife angled straight to his heart. And he remembers all the times she’s stayed up for him in the fourteen months he’s been living with her, how many times she’s waited for him to reply after he said “strifing with my bro brb”, and how much she’s there for him.

He’s fucked up, he knows he’s fucked up and he knows that every word from everyone’s mouth in this fucking tiny town for the next months is going to be “Dave, what were you thinking?” and he’ll respond with, “I was having my third panic attack of the day, the first was at the park and then the second was at Karkat’s house, because my abusive brother was mentioned and then Kankri was yelling at me to get out of his house for being related to my abusive brother. He also knew I can read minds and now Karkat knows and he’s going to tell everyone, so I’m pretty much screwed. Anyways, I did what Kankri said and left even though it was negative two degrees out, the coldest day of the year by the way. Part of me knew what I was doing was a life sentence and didn’t care and the other parts of me were too muddled in panic and I already felt like I was dying so what’s new?” Course, he won’t actually say all that, he’s not dumb, but it would be fun to get that off his chest and see how they react.

“I’m sorry.”

Rose bites her lips and finally wipes her eyes, successfully smearing her makeup, “Given your medical history-” And there she is. She let the emotion out to make him feel guilty and cave to her therapist needs. Why would he ever think otherwise? “-we’ve concluded that this stunt was a suicide attempt. You’ll be strictly monitored for twenty-four hours and will not be allowed to any technology or sharp objects. You’ll spend some time here, because Ms. Maryam is the only doctor in town, and then you can go home if you want. There are some friends here, like Terezi and John, I can sent them in if you want.”

“Whoa, whoa, suicide attempt? You know that’s not what happened. He was screaming at me to get out of his house like he was a banshee and I was about to die.” She pauses, and then shakes her head, “That’s not what he told us.”

“Rose, are you really trusting the word of a corrupt priest than the word of your brother who can read minds?” He feels personally attacked for multiple reasons. One, he wouldn’t fucking dream of ending his life- he’s gone too far and he’s tried too long. Yeah, sometimes he thinks how great it would be if he jumped off his roof headfirst or drank some bleach, but that’s just his fucked up brain. He’s not actually suicidal. If he was never born, that would be a different story, otherwise fuck no. Second, if Rose was taking the word of someone who has criticized her for her “vampire” ways and her being a feminist (every Strider-Lalonde is) -except Bro- but then preaches on how everyone needs to come together to accept his boyfriend being born a merman in a human body then that’s straight up betrayal.  “Of course not, Dave, but it’s out of my hands. I’m a fourteen year-old girl, not a doctor like Mrs. Maryam, even if I’m studying in ph- sorry ‘fancy human emotions’ as you put it.”

He glares at her through his shades, and spits out, “I’ll see my friends now.”

You’re being so unreasonable here, brother. Did you happen forget on how you almost died? In order to make sure you don’t almost die from being an idiot, you need to cooperate.

He curses, rubbing his forehead with his forefingers and Rose replies with snark, “Also, no reading any minds during the twenty-four hours. I’m sure that would be for everyone’s benefit.” Thank god she doesn’t know he read Karkat’s mind for two hours straight, that would be so embarrassing, “Ughhhhh. Fine. I’ll stay inside, but just so ya know, if ya’ll were on fire and I had to pee, I won’t go number one on you. I’ll piss in the bush like a fucking gentlemen.”

“And leave me there to die?”

He doesn’t bother answering, just taking a cookie and breaking it in half, stuffing one in his mouth. It had cooled down so it didn’t burn his mouth, thankfully. Don’t be fooled, he’s still fucking pissed at her, and she knows it. Rose walks away, her black flats scruffing on the floor no matter how hard she tries to be quiet. She’s never quite there, and he’s not complaining; the more loud you are, the morer Dave tends to gravitate towards you. (That’s one of the reasons he’s so allured by Karkat, who’s so angry in his head, but so very silent outloud). “DAVE!!!”

Terezi squeezes her arms around his middle, her cherry breath huffing in his ear makes him cringe and push her back. How long was he asleep? Cause TZ is sporting a new haircut and he knows that her step-father, Richard, is really hardcore with the no hair cut rule for all the girls. It’s hella misogynist cause Tavros’s hair is a fucking mohawk. Her brown, which was always nearing the side of ginger on the total real hair spectrum that he totally didn’t pull out of his ass right now, is now sporting cherry red bangs, it’s also several inches shorter. “Damn, the old man finally let you cut your hair? Consider me surprised. The one Dave Strider, cool-kid by day and rapper by night, finally got shocked. Write it down in your history books, kids, cause this is going to be remembered for forever.”

She snorts, pushing his shoulder with scary accuracy, “Nah. I used your suicidal attempt to get him to cave. I didn’t know that man could feel guilt and pity, the wonders of the world!” She crackles, and snags the other half of his homemade cookie, “Really though. Why’da you it?” He shrugs, watching her set her dagaon cane down and slide on the stool next to him.

He remembers how he crushed on her when he was new for exactly one month and a half, dated her for four, and then broke up with her because she cheated on him with the exact stoner who wants him dead. Those two cheating lovebirds lasted about one month because Dave told Vriska what the fuck was happening so she meddled and they broke up finally. God, he can’t believe he had to read her mind in order to find out what’s going on, both times. Fuck, how hurt he felt when she was thinking about sucking Gamzee when she’s kissing him. He had immediately pushed her away and left her house with nothing to say. -----He texted her: We’re done. She still doesn’t know how he found out and he’s sure as hell not telling her.----

It’s a miracle how they’re still friends, but it’s a small school and everyone knows everyone, so it was only a matter of time before they started talking again. Neither of them apologized, and they have an unspoken agreement to never mention it, so as long as they follow those rules they can pretend they never dated. “Hey???” He blinked, zoning in again from flashback memory lane that nobody lives at because of how crappy it is. “Yeah?”

“Tisk, I asked why did you do it.”

He had shrugged, and- right. She’s blind. However, he knows she could’ve totally smelled that or however she does that weird thing and she’s just pulling the ‘oh I totally didn’t sense you shrugging’ card on him to make him answer. He would feel attacked if he didn’t know for a fact all that information is crap, “I didn’t try to kill myself. Kankri told me to fucking leave so I ran out of there with my tail tucked between my legs and my ears drooping on my head.”

“Mr. Vantas? That’s weird. Usually, he’s a good guy who smells like strawberries and bakes really good cheesecake,” as if she knew he’s waiting for an explanation, she continues, “Him and Ricky are hatefriends. He comes over a lot so I eat a lot of cheesecake.” Her smile is wicked, her red braces sticking out like a sore thumb in those pearly whites. She wears a lot of red for someone who can’t see, with her red hair, braces, glasses, cosplay hoodie, and (hopefully ironic) crocs. He’s long since questioned her ways. “Hatefriends...Hatefriends who snog!” She crackles, spitting jumping off her mouth in a haste to get away from her tongue and splatting smack dab on his forehead. At least it wasn’t his shades. “I’m kidding! Oh, how I wish it was true, but sadly, Mr. Firetruck Red in knee deep with Cronus Ampora.” She spits out the name like it’s a bell pepper and she can’t handle the heat.

“The fuck is hatefriends?” He notices that the sheet is missing two cookies, how she ate them without him watching he’ll never know, “And I thought John was with ya. Where’s he?” Her smile, a smile that was once pressed up against his, turns towards in a frown and she huffs, crossing her arms. “With the new kid, I guess. Wow, I can’t imagine how much shit he’s feeling.” She laughs, snorting against her hand before she takes a giant bite of a new cookie that appeared randomly in her hand, crumbs flying everywhere as she talks, “Dave? His hair is red. Anyone with red hair needs to be taken straight to court!” Dave takes another cookie, noting that the stack is going away fast, and mumbles, “Funny. Non-straight person goes straight to court. Contradictory.” She laughs.

They had shot the poor, brain-damaged bird for awhile, (like an hour at most and it turns out it’s like two in the afternoon when he woke up, damn), when the door to the kitchen swings wide open, a loud crack as the knob slams into the wall, and speak of the devil. Devils? There’s two of them. The height difference between them is big, but not as big as the difference between Karkat and Dave cause John is about 5’6 or 5’7. He’ll sprout up in a couple years if he’s going to end up as tall as his dad, who is a tall, tall man. His black hair is wild, but in the same style that it always is, (it’s a wonder how that happens) and he’s wearing his blue hoodie with really long stupid hood today. Yeah, Dave can see why Karkat likes him, he’s cute and funny in a dork way. His eyes are really blue? …Yeah that’s it. He can’t find anything else appealing about him, the kid is huge nerd who is married to Nick freaking Cage of all actors.

“Thank god y-”, Karkat cuts John off with a louder voice, “DO YOU REALIZE HOW STUPID YOU ARE?!” He storms up to Dave, his brown (red red red red) eyes narrowing with a snarl of his mouth, “Going out in the fucking cold like that? Do you have a death wish or are you really that fucking dumb?! Did you replace your braincells with cut out cardboard copies of Eminem's pierced dick to make you ‘more cool’, well I apologize, Strider, but that’s not how it fucking works! God, you are the epitome of stupid, do you know that?! You’re not even fucking cool, more like a hipster barfpuppet whose hand won’t get the hell out of your tight purposely ripped jeans, you’re addicted to masterbation! Holy hell, someone call TLC!”

He's as red in the face as his stupidly bright hair, and Dave feels the urge to ruffle his hair to have it sticking up like a cat. Huh. Kar-cat. He snorts to himself, the accidental pun deserved a chuckle, but a snort will have to do. “Do you think this is funny?!” Dave gestures to John and Terezi, both are snickering out from behind their palms, “They do.”

And like he was a balloon that was just popped by a dart that the buff guy in the bar threw, he collapsed in on himself with his hands shaking. Dave can hear the regret, fear, and the shame thoughts brewing in Karkat’s mind and he feels guilt for pointing them laughing, as dumb as that sounds. Karkat’s shy, and honestly? Dave’s been waiting to be yelled like that ever since he first read the ginger’s mind, he wanted to see if his bark was as worse as his thought. (It is).

“Uh, Karkat?  You okay?”

John stops laughing and nudges him, but the shorty just curls in closer, stammering he’s fine and he doesn’t need any help. Dave doesn’t believe that for crap, and the two other teens seem to be weary as well, though John just shrugs, then jumps up. “Oh, I almost forgot! Dave, you almost died!” Dave manages to get out of his chair and sidestep the incoming hug, “Not really. Just a nip of frostbite. Don’t you know I’m John Snow?”

“If anyone’s John Snow, it’s me! We have the same name anyways. Plus, you know nothing about the…” Dave tunes him out, focusing on Karkat and how scary his thoughts seem. He knows Rose told him not too, and, he owes him to not read his mind? Fuck, what he’s trying to say is that last night Karkat was extremely helpful and saved his ass multiple times, not asking why once. That...means a lot to Dave, having someone you barely even know help you out for no reason other than to just be there for them. It’s no secret that he never had that growing up, and even when he moved, his mother isn’t the epitome of parenting. She uses her money to get what she wants, she bought him a drawing tablet and a new camera to make up for not being in his life for thirteen years. Hell, he’s never heard Rose tell him she loves him! She uses hints and snark to show her affection, and he’s so deprived from being cared for that Karkat just bandaging his hands meant so much.

“Terezi, John, can ya’ll leave? Like now. I swear I’ll use the broom, don’t try me.” He smirks to show he’s not serious about the broom part, and he hopes they got that he really needs them to leave. Terezi’s licking the plate clean, so John questions for both of them, and Dave’s actually proud of them for not bickering once since they got here. (Which was like ten minutes ago for John, damn, that’s not good bro behavior). “Why? I just got here, and why does Karkat get to stay?”

The hurt in his voice kills him, yet he keeps strong, “Because I said some embarrassing things last night and I wanna make sure he never tells a soul.” Apparently, that was good enough of a reason, because John leaves with a hunched back and Terezi follow him, but not without leaning in to whisper in his ear, “Tell me what his dick taste like!” He sputters and flips her off behind her shaking body, crackling with laughter; she gets through the door with only stumbling once.

Karkat glances up, his hands twitching as he tries to hide them in his sweater sleeves and Dave sees his mouth move like he’s counting silently. He sits back down, swaps the last cookie, and listens intensely to the music. One, he thinks this is is song sung in french, and two, he has no idea how to calm people down when they’re having an anxiety attack. He’s having an attack, right? Yeah, he knows he was abused, and PTSD is a huge fucking thing that controls his life that gives him attacks all the fucking time, (he’s never gone to therapy or had medication because he’s not crazy. The attacks suck ass, but he can deal with it just fine with no fancy person telling him the correct way to breathe), but he’s never actually seen someone else having one. He doesn’t really want to see, so he chews on his cookie and outlines drawing ideas on the marble counter. Just feeling the emotions of  Karkat’s thoughts is enough for him.

After ten minutes of silence, Karkat speaks, “Why..Why did you send them out?”

Dave shrugs, something he’s been doing a lot lately, and answers bluntly, “You were having a panic attack and I didn’t think you wanted them to see you like that. I don’t even think you’ve talked to Terezi once, what a weird first impression she has of ya’ll now, not that it was bad, but you screamed at me, then got all quiet in a matter of fucking seconds. Weird. What was that about anyways? I know you’re loud all the time and shit, but you’re really fucking shy a lot too. It’s like you’re a two-face or that one anime character with the braids. Dirk showed it to me once.”

An uncomfortable feeling settles in his gut at his mention of his cousin, who he hasn’t seen in literal months. He headed off to college a year ago, more than a year now, and never responded to any calls or text messages. They got some emails a few months of nothing, which were basically saying that he’s fine and he’s really busy with schoolwork and projects so he won’t be visiting anytime soon, so Roxy had the big idea to apply to MIT herself. MIT was the school he was attending and unfortunately, she didn’t get in. Now, Dirk emails quite often, but that’s all it is. He doesn’t come to Christmas dinners or Thanksgiving, and the emails don’t quite sound like him. It’s really fucking close, but hanging out with the guy once a month for your whole life causes you to learn a couple things about him, and using a lot technology advanced words isn’t something he would do in an email to someone like Jake, (Jade’s cousin who’s like twenty-one).

It’s weird.

“I wasn’t having a panic attack, just regretting all of my life decisions; Not everyone is as fragile as you, Strider, and for your infomation, I have social anxiety so people laughing at me tends to cause me panic. What the fuck was your deal last night?” Karkat sits the seat Terezi was occupying not too long ago, and snags the last cookie from the batch, what a fucking dick. Dave freezes, and his fond smile transforms back to his stoic mask. What part does he mean? The puking, the burning, or the running away, or fuck it, the mindreading part. “What do you mean?”

“You know..? The panic attacks you seemed to have contently? Sorry, it’s probably a sore subject.” Dave sighs, partially in relief and partially in annoyance because he does not want to have this conversation, “No, it’s okay, wait I mean, yeah, it’s a really fucking sore subject, but you just admitted you have social anxiety. So, uh, I had the panic attacks because I was overwhelmed.”

Karkat stays silent, thank god, as he racks his brain to try to figure out a way to explain this. “Fuck, look, I grew up in a very shitty environment and sometimes I remember the things that happened to me in that shitty environment, which causes me to have a panic attack. I only have one full blown attack, sometimes two if I’m feeling particularly shitty, in the span of like two months, and yesterday was just a rare fucking occurrence of having three in the span of a couple fucking hours.”

“You have two a month?!”

“Uh, sometimes, it’s not like consistent or anything.”

Dave’s sure he knows why Karkat’s so shocked, because his attacks personally, he can’t say the say for anyone else, feel like he’s dying a slow and drawn out death, waiting for the person who caused him so much fucking shit to come slice open his rib-cage and yank out his still beating heart. Then, randomly, he wonders why he’s even telling Karkat any of this. To hide the fact that he may be a superhero without the hero part? Or maybe, just maybe, he feels a connection with him? He found someone who experiences those awful experiences like him, and it’s… nice to know that you’re not alone.

“That..That must fucking suck.”

He snorts, nodding, “Yeah, it does, but it is what it is.”

“I’m sorry, by the way.”

He turns to him, tilting his head, and once again he thinks he knows why what he’s going to say. “Sorry for what?” Karkat bites his lip before stumbling over his words,”Ya know, the whole kicking you out hing with fucking Kankri. God, he’s such an ignorant douchewipe, you can’t read minds.” Dave chuckles awkwardly.

“Yeah. Like, people with powers don’t exist.”

Okay, that’s sketchy as hell. He seems like a nice guy, but what if he actually did kill my father? I don’t- I don’t know what I would do.  Fucking- kill him? He might mind powers, he would know my next move. Oh shit he has fucking mind powers! Llmama, asshole, lollypops, fuckers, crabs, hermit crabs, hermits, death, John, wait wait fuck not John.

Dave would like to travel back in time and die out there in the snow please Is that possible? Can someone please do that to him?, but there’s a good side to this, Karkat definitely wouldn’t be acting like this (i.n. sitting next to him) if he knew Dave could read minds. He’s just suspicious, and Dave is too.

He’s not reacting to me listing random lists, but then again, he never reacts to everything. What a fucking stoic prick. He’s not saying anything though, just kinda looking at me.  If he can read minds, does he know I’ma genetic freak who’s a level zero Elsa? What fucking normal person has fucking ice powers? No, fucking hell, don’t think about that around him. Kankri was very very specific to never speak to him again, though he wouldn’t tell me why, but it’s not like I couldn’t come over here considering it was MY brother who almost killed him. “Oh, Karkat, I’m giving you a ten hour lecture on why you should listen to me and that Dave is bad news. What? He can’t read minds, that was just a slip of the tongue. Also, I keep forgetting facts about you like you’re a vegetarian and I offered to cook you some fUCKING CRAB!”

Oh. shit.