Introducing, John Johnson, Son of John! (AKA Don't trust Wade with anything)
DM from Dr. coffee maker to toby stank
Dr. coffee maker: Were you aware that our employees, as well as several usual guests, have a group chat?
toby stank: No, does it matter?
Dr. coffee maker: When I come back to find my kitchen full with 15+ people eating scones and blasting Minecraft parodies, yes. It does.
toby stank: wait, is my coffee shop empty??? I leave for half an hour and this is what happens?!
Dr. coffee maker: It would appear so. If it makes you feel any better, none of my employees were working either
toby stank: it doesnt
Dr. coffee maker: Well, should we do something about it?
toby stank: ill tell them no more random shopping on my credit card for three weeks
Dr. coffee maker: That’s it?
toby stank: Believe me, around here that is a big deal
(~￣▽￣)~: ooh thats mean
toby stank: Fuck off Wade
Dr. coffee maker: Is that who that is? I was wondering.
toby stank: he’s friends with Peter
Dr. coffee maker: Yeah, I’ve seen him around, I didn’t know he was the smiley face guy.
Dr. coffee maker: Wait…
Dr. coffee maker: How is he here?!
(~￣▽￣)~: im an expert at sliding into peoples dms
(~￣▽￣)~: but guess its time to skedaddle
(~￣▽￣)~ has left the chat
DM from Shure jan to Natashalie
Shure jan: wade blew his cover, I’m sending you in
Natashalie: you should’ve done that first
Shure jan: he annoyed me into sending him in first
Shure jan: tell us all what happens!
DM from Dr. coffee maker to toby stank
toby stank: Now that hes gone tho, are you going to punish your employees?
Dr. coffee maker: I will never be able to get the image of Clint and Pietro tap dancing on the counter to ‘mine diamonds’ out of my mind, so yes.
toby stank: don’t be too hard on them
Dr. coffee maker: This was unacceptable behavior.
toby stank: let them all be friends
Dr. coffee maker: It is not the friendship I’m punishing so much as the large impromptu party they had in my kitchen!
Dr. coffee maker: There were at least three people singing off key, the tap dancing, I think Natasha was trying to teach Carol and Wanda different ways to surreptitiously kill people using her voodoo spy powers, Clint was on the ceiling, Sam was standing in a corner while Bucky and Steve threw donuts at him and scored themselves on accuracy, the kitchen is an absolute mess, there must be some form of punishment!
Natashalie: i do not have voodoo spy powers
toby stank: …….
Dr. coffee maker: …….
Natashalie: ….oops.
Natashalie: ill see myself out…
Natashalie has left the chat
DM from Natashalie to Shure jan
Natashalie: I blew it
Shure jan: YOU DID?!?!???????
Natashalie: im a failure
Natashalie: I failed at the one thing im supposed to better at than all of you
Natashalie: what’s even the point….
Shure jan: thats it, ive given up on trusting people
DM from Shure jan to SLEEP WHERE??!
Shure jan: im sending you in
SLEEP WHERE??!: YESSSSS i will not disappoint!!
Shure jan: thats what they all say, but nooooooo, they hafta go and out themselves, making the tonester and strange more n more suspicious, but are they ever careful??? Nooooo
SLEEP WHERE??!: u ok there shuri?
Shure jan: whatdoya think?
Shure jan: it doesn’t matter, just dont blow this, ok??????????
DM from Dr. coffee maker to toby stank
Dr. coffee maker: How do people keep getting in here???
toby stank: idk
toby stank: but please dont be too hard on your employees?
SLEEP WHERE??!: WHAT’S UP PEEPS!!!!!!!
Dr. coffee maker: Clint, what the fuck?!?! How the fuck is everyone getting in here???
SLEEP WHERE??!: oh fuck, screwed that up didn’t I?
SLEEP WHERE??!: dont tell my boss!!!
SLEEP WHERE??! has left the chat
DM from Shure jan to SLEEP WHERE??!
Shure jan: hows it going?
SLEEP WHERE??!: they found out lol
Shure jan: CLINT IT'S BEEN THIRTY SECONDS?!!!!
SLEEP WHERE??!: oops? hehe. try loki and hela next?
Shure jan: ugh. fine.
Shure jan: ya know, if i stop stressing about this, it might actually be quite funny.
DM from Shure jan to hisshiss mfs, God of POPTARTS, and Real Regina
Shure jan: EVERY ONE. EVERY SINGLE PERSON HAS FAILED ME AND I’VE GIVEN UP
Shure jan: we are now in this for teh lolz folks!
Shure jan: all three of you are going in
God of POPTARTS: YES
hisshiss mfs: ok, we’ll see how this goes…
Real Regina: Finally… I can unleash death and chaos…
Shure jan: sounds fun, you should be in now, go spread some chaos
DM from Dr. coffee maker to toby stank
Dr. coffee maker: I’m going to make them all work overtime with reduced pay for the next week. Is that satisfactory to the great Tony Stark?
toby stank: well, glad to hear im great and that should work
toby stank: but if i hear youre overworking anyone we will have a problem
Dr. coffee maker: The great bit was sarcastic…
hisshiss mfs has shared an image
toby stank: WTF
hisshiss mfs: wade shared this with me, is it not pleasing to your eyes?
Dr. coffee maker: LOKI WTF
God of POPTARTS: greetings and salutations good men! Could any of you point me to a spot of tea!
toby stank: Thor, you’re here too?
God of POPTARTS: who is this Thor you speak of? He sounds incredibly handsome! No, my name is… John Johnson, son of John, and I am a 50 year old dapper English fellow, as you can tell from my use of language and general attitude! Pip pip cheerio!
Real Regina: Hello John, would you like to buy some cocaine?
God of POPTARTS: can i make it into tea!
Real Regina: You can certainly try
God of POPTARTS: then I will take 25 pounds of it! Just leave it outside one of these two lovely looking coffee shops (with a very handsome regular customer by the name of Thor) and I’ll pick it up as soon as my carriage gets there!
God of POPTARTS: I have to warn you, my horse is quite old, so it may be sitting there for a while!
Real Regina: Wonderful.
Dr. coffee maker: Do not leave 25 pounds of cocaine outside my business.
Real Regina: Now, how would I turn down such a lovely customer as John Johnson, son of John?
hisshiss mfs has shared two images
toby stank: MY RETINAS
Dr. coffee maker: How does the human body do that???
Hisshiss mfs: *maniacal laugh* i have never before been happy to be wades 3 am photo dumping grounds
toby stank has removed hisshiss mfs, God of POPTARTS, and Real Regina from the chat
toby stank: I feel like if we ever need to talk again, we should do it person
Dr. coffee maker: For once, I find myself agreeing with you