Happi Days

Hiroko smiled and fixed an extra box lunch. This time she'd be able to give it to Ryouga-kun, she knew that the lost boy needed plenty of food to keep his energy up.

She'd almost followed the recipe this time, though it had seemed a little bland, so adding octopus marinaded in a pepper sauce (to keep it from spoiling) seemed a good touch.

"Ryouga-sama," Hiroko giggled. Cooking was so much fun since the Becoming and she'd accepted the changes. Besides, Nabiki's picture of Ryouga coming out of the furo...

Hiroko smiled as she added another piece of octopus.

Ranma slipped out of the silk cords that had been used to tie him in place, sneaking slowly towards the window like a ghost, careful not to awaken his guard.

Akane murmured something in her sleep from her futon in front of the door.

When Ranma's heartrate approached normal again, he slowly opened the window. He was expecting the hand dropping down on his shoulder, so sure he'd be found out that when nothing of the sort occurred he was unsure of himself briefly.

Slipping away into the night, Ranma felt that checking up on Ryouga's story was his first priority. If it checked out, maybe he should go back to China.

Happosai slipped out of his lair, a hidden panel in the roof of the Tendou Training Hall where he'd hidden the mass of his silky darlings.

The whisper of air around the incoming dagger was sufficient for Happosai to dodge. An overcast night with no lights on in the yard was perfect for sneakery, but apparently it benefited others than Happosai.

"Who's there," Happosai growled. A glimpse of motion, too quick from concealing shadow to shadow. He could only be sure of one thing. It was a woman who was wearing black pants and a red Chinese shirt. The conclusion was obvious.

"So, Ranma, finally you find the courage to face me." He hefted the super soaker in his hands. "You have already doomed your friends and family. YOU are personally responsible for the tragedy afflicting them because you didn't face me when you should have."

Silence was the only answer Happosai received.

"Ranma, you can't fool me. Come and face me, you coward, or I may have to do something really nasty."

More silence. Happosai began to creep forward as silently as he could. He thought that his opponent should be right over there.

"Really, Ranma, I expected more of you. If you don't face me, do you know what I'm going to do? I've got three tins of something called 'Golden Passion Dust' ready to drop in the water supply. All I have to do is turn one extra little valve, and the drug mixes with the Nerima water supply. Believe me, this will make my revenge with the Jusenkyo water seem gentle and refined by comparison.”

"My ONLY problem will be in deciding who to ravage first." Happosai got to the shadow and realized that Ranma wasn't there. Looking around, he reached the peak of the roof and tried to figure out where his opponent was. "Will I deflower sweet Akane first? Maybe that best friend of yours, the okonomiyaki chef? I can have Nabiki and charge her for the pleasure, hah! Maybe even some of your formerly male friends, I glomped one yesterday and she felt DELICIOUS."

A movement alerted Happosai, the figure was visible as movement leaping over him. "Game, set, and match, Ranma!" Happosai triggered the flood of his last supply of the cursed Jusenkyo spring water towards the figure.

The figure dodged, rolled, and stood as a porch light came on, a bo staff clearly visible in her hands.

"K-Kasumi?!?" Happosai's eyes bugged out, yes, even more than normal. He stared unmoving as Kasumi took a martial arts stance that clearly read "challenge" to his trained eyes.

Gravity, of course, was not suspended.

"Where is that baka?"

"It's ok, Akane. The poor boy just doesn't realize we've got his best interests at heart."

"Ukyou, if he chooses YOU, I-I-I'll be happy for you."

"Sugar, you'd be completely miserable and you know it. Same here. And if he chooses Shampoo we'll both me miserable. If he chooses Kodachi..."

"Killing him would be the only merciful thing to do." Akane looked over at Ukyou, strange how the two of them seemed to have deepened their friendship since being affected by the water. "Still, if we find him..."

"We'd better find him," Ukyou drew her battle spatula, "before those other girls do or there might not be anything left of him."

"I was just thinking about what happens if he were to face Happosai before he knows about the water."

Ranma puzzled about something. Why did Master Po give him this kettle? It was a 1/3 replica of the "Unlocking Kettle" of the Musk Dynasty, and would supposedly only function one hundred times before the magic ran out, but it was still extremely valuable.

He wondered if Master Po had used some ancient Chinese magic and had determined that it would be needed in some future battle with Herb and the Musk Dynasty.

Hundreds of miles away, Master Po sneezed, then went back to channel surfing. Odd that even with a satellite dish that got hundreds of channels, he usually ended up watching CNN Japan.

Eighth week, Sunday

"Heh, you girls look like you'd like to party!" The tattooed man motioned his fellows forward, six guys from outside Nerima looking for a little "fun."

The women approached by these men were less than enthusiastic about them or their approach. Hiroko and Daisuki clung to each other and wailing in terror.

Tetsuo, the only guy on that side of the impending fight, only had one offensive spell, and that would take a lot out of him. Still, he built up the power, as these women had stopped being nearly so pushy and he owed them for that. Besides, this FELT right.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"

Tetsuo glanced over to one of the walls and blanched. The thugs, on the other hand, reacted with a few drools and wolf whistles.

Kasumi, dressed in a combination of a pantsuit with hard leather armor, pointed from atop the wall at the thugs. "Your perversions end here! Preying on the weak and defenseless, you deserve NO MERCY!"

Koko-chan, dressed in a sailor fuku with armored shoulderpads, crossed her arms and glared. "For your crimes against women, you shall be PUNISHED!"

Nayami, still trying to balance on the wall, didn't have a speech prepared. "SAME HERE!"

"Shampoo really tired of uppity men like you. Men who do this thing go really bad place."

The leader of the thugs smiled, revealing a few missing teeth. "And who are you little girlies to teach MY men a lesson?" The other thugs smiled and started discussing who got which girl first.

Tetsuo seriously considered switching to his Hide spell.

"WE are the Nerima Police Auxiliary, Amazon Division One! And You ARE UNDER ARREST!"

Kasumi was suddenly holding her favorite battlestaff.

Koko-chan's tetsubo appeared.

Nayami's warclaws slid out of her sleeves.

Shampoo's bonbori appeared in her hands and she once again regretted that she didn't have a dramatic sound effect for her weapons.

These were, of course, typical low level thugs who immediately failed a wisdom check upon seeing these women produce weapons out of nowhere. Instead of doing something halfway sensible like running or surrendering, they attacked.

At one point during the battle, Tetsuo used his single offensive spell when the leader attempted to go after the cowering Momoko. The "Chi Bolt" knocked the leader down long enough for Kasumi to slam the end of her quarterstaff into said leader's manhood. Said leader would be singing soprano for several weeks.

Unfortunately, Tetsuo Tsukiku was about as powerful a wizard as he had feared, and collapsed from the energy needed to cast that spell. The results were quite predictable, save to say that he really wished he had enough energy left that could cast that Hide spell.

Kasumi had to finish this up quickly, though, she had a wedding to attend.

"She makes such a beautiful bride," said Ukyou, dabbing tears away from her eyes as she turned from the two at the altar to Ranma.

"Yes, she does," agreed Akane, smirking slightly before resting her head against Ranma's shoulder.

Cologne smirked. Her newest pupil had done her so proud by tricking Happosai and the results had been quite rewarding. Finding that "Love Potion" had been equally wonderful.

Happosai pushed back her veil so that she could gaze lovingly upon her husband.

"You may now kiss the bride," the minister, who was clueless about the nature of the bride, said.

Mikado Sanzennin obliged, finally kissing his 1000th girl. Nobody had told him yet. They'd probably wait until AFTER the Honeymoon.

New Years Eve, Fifth Month:

"Dear Honored Mother, Father, family:

As this is usually a time for reflections, I'm writing this down. It has truly been a strange year and I'm appending some additional files on the events, particularly the events known as the 'Bishojo Bride' events.

Happosai is happily married to Mikado Sanzennin, and the couple are expecting their first child in another six months. Happosai got quite drunk after Kasumi tricked him into splashing himself with his own cursed springwater, with the result that the mental contamination occurred very quickly.

So many of the Nerima citizens have become almost 'Stepford Wives' versions of themselves that the traditional 'feminine arts' have become a major business here. Note that strong feelings and beliefs were unaffected by what is referred to as the Becoming by many of the Cursed.

Reaction to the situation in Nerima is mixed. Many feel that Nerima itself is cursed and avoid it as if it were a plague colony. Others come to gawk at the women and overall change in the atmosphere. Still others feel that the area has become an easy target for violence and all sorts of mayhem.

The official breakdown of the Cursed, as last determined by one of the local news agencies, is that there are 1,212 Cursed individuals in Nerima. Support groups for people with curses have confirmed that the actual number is slightly higher.

Of these people, 64 have curses not related to Jusenkyo. 1,101 are confirmed victims of Happosai's little rampage. 47 have Jusenkyo curses who have come here since the news broke about Happosai's little escapade. Being around other people who share your problem, or at least understand it, has drawn that group.

Of the 1,101 that were affected by Happosai, there is a further breakdown. 187 of these individuals were hit with the waters from the 'Spring Of Drowned Amazon Warrior.' Martial arts supplies and dojos can be found very easily in some parts of Nerima. There are a further 374 Cursed who show NO attitudinal change, and the working theory is that they were simply hit with Nyannichuan or 'Spring Of Drowned Girl.' There are another 14 who weren't human to begin with, as apparently Happosai visited the zoo at one point. These last have some qualities of their former animal selves, but largely appear to be human women. These are all currently learning how to be human. This leads to 526 who WERE hit with the 'Bishojo Bride' water who were human. Figure roughly half used to be of the male persuasion.

Furinkan High School was the worst affected. The male/female ratio is now 1/80 with a few packs of amazons and guys who have never mentally transformed. In the case of these three springs, the amount of mixing of the curses appears to be minimal.

Due to the false perception that Nerima is easy pickings for the violent, and that there are now a large number of provisional amazons here, two more changes of note. Nerima is now a sister-city (a very appropriate term, don't you think) to the Amazon Village, and there's several amazons in the Police Department now. Also Furinkan has been kicking serious butt in the high school athletics programs.

Ranma Saotome returned almost exactly one month after he left. He brought with him a device similar to the 'Unlocking Kettle' of the Musk Dynasty. He was able to use this until the magic ran out, and one hundred of those with the 'Bishojo Bride' curse now have normal lives and personalities until they are splashed with cold water, then the other personality and form become dominant. Most are coping with the change with a certain Japanese stoicism.

Medical studies are being conducted, with the reports being released simultaneously in the American 'JAMA' and the British 'Lancet' on the short and long term effects of the Curse.

Most of the world goes on as it has for years, without particularly noticing or caring what happens to a small group of people in a suburb of Tokyo.

Oh yes. There have been a swarm of marriages here within the past few months. My immediate superior Kasumi Tendo married one of the Cursed who can switch, a Doctor Tofu Ono. Akane Tendo married Ranma Saotome, though the betting was almost even that he would marry a girl named Ukyou Kuonji. Nabiki Tendo married this guy named Hitoshi Lawrence, a Japanese-American photojournalist who came here to do the 'Girls Of Nerima' book. Nabiki's also got a manga deal going dealing with the adventures of her sister. As I'm in Kasumi's squad, I'm hoping for at least cameo scenes.

All for now. Hope all of you are doing well. As for this job I've got with the local Police Department's Amazon Auxilary, it's a decent wage and I get to pummel evildoers, so it's a good job.

Respectfully,

Nayami/Ri Ku Straczynski, Junior Officer Nerima PD"

EPILOGUE:

Ranma checked his dresser with a frown. "Akane! Have you seen my underwear anyplace?"

Three blocks away, a young newlywed girl named Happosai was running with a large sack over her shoulder. "Whatta haul! Whatta haul! Heeheehee!"