Ucchan's Diary
Ukyou smiled at Konatsu, who got up and walked slightly away. Neither Konatsu nor the missing Tsubasa were happy. Ukyou was much happier.
Konatsu was now a kunoichi in more than merely name. Tsubasa still had casts on his right leg and left arm from his fall from Furinkan's clock tower. This was not the cause of either former-man's happiness, nor Ukyou's new smile.
When Happosai had hit Furinkan with the water from the "Spring Of Drowned Bishojo Bride" it had affected Ukyou. When the same water had struck at Ucchan's, two crossdressers and three patrons had been struck.
Tsubasa's strong male self-image had her fighting the psychological changes with everything she had, but by the end of the first week she had one major sweeping change in her life. She still tried to act as she had before, but was often sulking off by herself. It was that she simply no longer was attracted to women the way she had been when she had been a he.
Konatsu was the same way, except that she had been raised to think of herself as female, had been changed by the cursed water to become a woman down to the genetic level, and now found herself switched from lesbianism. She was eyeing the male patrons, then feeling guilty and sick about doing so.
Ukyou, on the other hand, was happy not to be pursued by the two women. She was feeling happy because her figure had developed further, the classes dealing with cosmetics, fashion, and family planning would ALL benefit her relationship with Ran-chan.
"Just wait till you get back, Ranma-honey," Ukyou promised the grill, as Ranma was still off in China somewhere. When Ranma got back, she would sweep him off his feet and they'd marry quickly to keep the women of Furinkan from annoying him too much.
---------commercial break----------
A pretty young woman (think of someone like Moe Nagasaki, Bai Ling, or Tomo Sakurai, dressed in a cheongsam with armored shoulder pads) charges through a crowd of ninja in an urban setting. The scene changes and the same girl is swinging on a vine across a raging river wherein Something With A Lotta Teeth can be seen. The scene changes again to show the same woman, this time pulling a battlestaff out of nowhere and vaulting past some Urotsukidoji type monster, flipping into a tight ball as she gets through a gap in the flailing tentacles. Again the scene changes, and same woman is racing up the walkway to an American house. She rings the bell and the door opens, revealing a man, though he's in shadow and not shown distinctly.
Woman: (smiling) "Sign here for package, please!"
Voiceover: "Amazon Express, when it absolutely positively HAS to be there!"
Man: "This is an overnight. Why did it take two days to get here?"
Woman: (shocked) "Aiyaaaa! Knew shouldn't have stopped to fight Bison..."
Voiceover: "Aw come on, you know what happens if the package is late."
Woman: (nodding, then does running glomp on customer)"Beloved Husband! I love you!"
Voiceover: "Limited time offer on overnight guarantee. Special rules, limitations, and exclusions apply. Call now."
--------end commercial break----------
"Ukyou," Nabiki entered the shop, looking around. "Can we talk?"
"How much is THIS going to cost me?"
"Oh, I'm just trying to find out if you'll help out with the bake sale."
"Kasumi already told me about it," Ukyou nodded. "I'm in as long as the money's going to a good cause and NOT fund another wedding of my Ran-chan to Akane."
"Oh come on, we don't even know where Ranma IS. Well, except that he's in China and used to be in a small coastal village. I give you my word, we're just sprucing up the house and paying some bills."
"Well in that case, sure." Ukyou sighed. "So any word if they've caught Happosai?"
"Not yet, the little hentai's gotten pretty good at running and hiding after all he's done over the years. It's not as alarming as what I've just gotten from one of the elders."
"Hmmm."
"I won't charge you for this, providing that you tell me if you get any info on the subject from any of your customers, deal?"
Ukyou nodded. "Deal."
"According to my records, Happi came into Japan on a small cargo plane from Blackbird Reclamations-"
"Smugglers."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow, curious that an okonomiyaki chef would know of them. "Anyway, he came in with twelve five gallon jugs of water. Now, here's the tricky part. According to the elders, Herb of that Musk Dynasty admitted that he gave forty gallons of 10:1 concentrate of 'Spring Of Drowned Bishojo Bride.' You with me so far?"
"I think I see what you mean. Happosai didn't do the math or he'd know something was up. That's only eight five gallon containers." Ukyou thought about it. "So there's an extra twenty gallons."
"Each gallon of concentrate makes ten gallons of cursed springwater. One liter is enough for the curse to take affect, anything less only gives a partial effect like the tentacles on Pantyhose Tarou."
"Come on girl, spill it. What're you hinting."
Nabiki smirked, it was smirk #7 (the "I'm so clever that even I can barely stand myself" smirk.) "This means that even with what is confirmed as the 'Bishojo' curse water, that's 1500 people who could be affected. The news agencies only report 809, but we know at least 600 were at Furinkan."
"So where are they?"
"That's one of the questions, I'll hope to get answered soon. Maybe you'll find the answer. Another really good question, you've got that gaijin coming in later, right?"
"Yeah, she's resisting the mental change though."
"If she was affected by Bishojo water at all..." Nabiki waited for Ukyou to put it together.
"Nyannichuan?"
"Not quite, but close. Seems there's also a 'Spring Of Drowned Amazon Warrior' there too. We know from Herb's reactions to the Amazon's requests for information that he's not happy with Happi. I think Happi mixed water and we're seeing the results right there." Nabiki spread a few photos out on the counter. "Dig these. Kasumi got tagged yesterday and now she's suddenly back to doing her katas and SWORD practice for crying out loud. Those other photos are of some of the gaijin acting like they were just out of the village. Now what will happen when Happi meets up with women who act like Chinese Amazons?"
Ukyou slapped her hands together three times and said a quick prayer. "This is fate."
"And I want to be there and get photos." Nabiki got up and shrugged. "Well, entertaining as this has been, I've got to go. I've got brownies to make."
Ukyou blinked as Nabiki left. "I thought her idea of cooking was to open a bag of chips."
Shrugging, Ukyou took an order for a seafood okonomiyaki and lost herself in her work. Mixed Jusenkyo curses, there was something about the idea that disturbed her.
"Oh Ranchan, why can't you see that your curse doesn't matter to me?" Ukyou finished the okonomiyaki and sent it down the counter with a practiced flip of a spatula. "After all, isn't that something a CUTE fiancee would say? I just hope that Happi runs out of water before Ranchan gets back."
In the attic above the Tendo dojo, and somewhere in China, two individuals sneeze.