Second Week, Monday
so far: Ranma has gotten fed up with the whole situation, an especially bad day, and was drugged by Mousse with a mood-intensifier. He doesn't remember the event of his departure too well, and has misinterpreted what fragments of memory he has pulled up. He is currently in a small village in China, looking for an expert on the Jusenkyo curses that he was told about by the crew of the "ChaCha Maru"- a smuggler ship with ties to the Amazon Village.
Happosai has struck Furinkan High School, among other places, with what he has been told is Jusenkyo curse water from "Spring Of Drowned Bishojo Bride" - along with a temporarily functioning version of the Musk Dynasty's Chiisatuon. This water, supposedly, will permanently transform those splashed with it into beautiful young women with a cultural mindset fitting the woman who drowned in that spring 1500 years ago. Unfortunately for Happosai, he was doing all this to gain revenge on Ranma, who is thousands of miles away and completely oblivious of these events, having left two days previously.
Most of Nerima is beginning to feel the effects of Happosai's vengeance, though indirectly, as well over 800 people have been hit by these attacks so far.
It was the dream again, replaying the events of just last week. The teacher had just taken his place at the front of the classroom and the scratching sound of chalk and chalkboard was dominant over the few whispered fragments of conversation going on in the back of the class.
There was the thunk, and he glanced up as he heard a minute hissing noise from the sprinklers overhead. His mind was screaming to move, but just as on that day, his body was just sitting there at his desk. Then came the water, spraying down over him and his classmates.
He felt the tingle all over as the water had splashed him, as the Change washed over him. Truly the poets called this a sea-change, perhaps a reference to this strange water that caused so much alteration.
His hands, thickly calloused and strong, altering to become softer with slender fingers bereft of the scars and callouses that he'd picked up over his life. The tingling continuing as his clothes suddenly tightened at the hips, his waist receding as mass was redistributed.
Pectorals vanishing, buried beneath the soft sensitive mounds that pressed against the confines of his shirt. The sensation of his manhood vanishing and Something Else being formed there. Internal organs shifting around as the flesh twitched horribly.
The horror continued, much as it had that day, with the itching as his hair immediately lengthened an inch. The change continued, stretching and reshaping bone and flesh into slightly different patterns.
Tatewaki Kuno bolted upright in bed, knowing that her misery was being felt by others all over Nerima. Kuno shuddered, she did not feel that misery particularly loved company, specially now.
Strange the changes in her life recently, but the changes to her father had been especially weird. Instead of going with the usual gibberish about "bowl cuts" or something equally inane, the principal had suddenly developed a measure of sanity.
The old Furinkan girl's uniform had been discarded as being quite unflattering. A fuku style was being brought in. While the guys might yet have to get their buzz cuts, no similar restrictions for the other gender would be sought.
Tatewaki glanced at her own fuku. Strange, she had originally railed against it, but it definitely grew on one. Meanwhile, a little light makeup and some accessories really brightened up the whole appearance.
Another side effect had been that Kodachi had not been heard laughing for the past few days. She still seemed to go into shock every time her new sister and now female father crossed her path. She'd taken to locking herself in her room every available minute.
Tatewaki smiled and got dressed. She'd cheer her sister up by fixing her something SPECIAL for breakfast today!
Whistling a love song that she'd heard just the previous day, Tatewaki Kuno didn't realize exactly how much of a change had occurred over the past week.
Kasumi went through the mail quickly, stacking the bills where Nabiki would later collect them, the junk mail into a paper recycling basket, and Soun's news magazine over by the shoji board where she'd find it later.
That left the postcard, and after admiring the scene of Hong Kong's harbor for a moment, Kasumi turned it over. When she saw Ranma's name, and that it was addressed to her, she quickly sat down. "Oh my."
Konnichi wa, Kasumi-chan, I wanted to let you all know I am well, and am still searching for a cure. I imagine that Akane (who has always been honest in how much she hates me) and Nabiki (whose contempt for me was obvious from that first day) are both overjoyed at my continued absence. With me gone, all is back to being quiet, and the property values should slowly return to normal. Will write again when I find a cure. Sincerely, Ranma Saotome
"Oh, Ranma, Ranma, Ranma." Kasumi sighed and got up. There was no return address, but the store he had mailed it from had stamped the upper right corner with some Chinese script. Kasumi thought for a moment.
Doctor Tofu knew enough Chinese that he might be able to translate it. Her own Chinese was not nearly that detailed.
Nabiki stuck her head out from the kitchen, asking if they were all out of soy sauce. Kasumi shook her head. Since Nabiki had developed a sudden interest in cooking, she had insisted on "helping" in the kitchen whenever possible.
Unfortunately, the desire did NOT bestow a sudden influx of talent. Kasumi realized that her sister was just acting on the influence of the curse that Happosai had inflicted the entire school with, but she wasn't ready to deal with ANOTHER Akane.
Not that Akane was doing that badly now. She'd made it to mediocre cook (with curry at least) since Ranma had first arrived, and in the past week had begun taking the recipes far more seriously without that distressing tendency to "liven things up" that had led to so many disasters in the past.
Crossing herself, Kasumi paused before entering the kitchen. "Ara, Nabiki, that was NOT soy sauce you've been using."
Commercial Break:-------------------
[Scene: a busy restraunt in down Nerima. Ukyou is seen smiling behind her grill.]
UKYOU: "Welcome to Ucchan's, where we make okonomiyaki the way YOU like it. Only the freshest ingredients are used, and it is made hot and fresh right before you!"
[A placard appears before the screen.]
UKYOU: "Fill out a card explaining to Ranchan why he should choose his CUTE fiancee and get 20% off the price of your lunchtime special!"
[A map showing the location of Uuchan's replaces the placard on the special.]
UKYOU: "So come on down to Ucchan's: As you like it!"
End Commercial Break:--------------------
Mousse smiled and stuck her hands out to either side. "I slice, I dice, I make Julienne fries!" Knives flashed as the chicken and potatoes were uniformly cut into thin strips.
"Very good Mousse," Cologne noted.
"Who is Julienne Fries?"
Mousse and Cologne stared briefly at Shampoo before turning back to the breakfast special.
"You see, Mousse, by cutting the vegetables and meat into thin strips like this, they cook quickly and evenly."
"Yes, obachan!" Mousse was happy, getting lessons in something as useful as cooking from a master like Cologne was just SO wonderful.
Cologne caught Shampoo's motion and stepped out into the dining room.
"Yes great-grand-daughter? With the frying and the fans, Mousse will not be able to overhear us. What do you want?"
"Why Mousse acting funny? He not grab me or anything, he happy to be cooking, he acting very strange. Almost like proper Amazon husband."
"YOU avoided being splashed, child, but it is the Jusenkyo water at work here."
"It no affect Ranma like that."
"Ranma was affected by 'Spring Of Drowned Girl' which only causes him to change genders. His female form is exactly what he would have looked like if his parents had had a daughter instead of a son. This Spring is more complicated."
"What spring?"
"I got Nabiki to e-mail the village elders (who did you think ran www.amazon.com?) and they confirmed that the Musk Dynasty had supplied Happosai from the 'Spring Of Drowned Bishojo Bride'- where a nobleman's young bride died some 1,500 years ago while running from a bandit."
"Aiyaa. What that do?"
"Those struck with the water of THAT pool become beautiful young girls, which is why Happi was so anxious to get THAT water. No doubt he learned of it and requested it specifically. Not only do they physically transform, but there is a mental change as well. A strong will and experienced mind can hold the change off indefinitely, as I shall be able to.
"Those whose will is not focused, whose minds are weak, or who would go that route anyway, will change faster than those who are not."
"Aiya, so Mousse was wimp..."
"Mousse's mind was not sufficiently strong to hold out against the change. He now views you as another girl, and has fallen out of love with you as a result. On the plus side, his social standing as a woman in the village will be higher than it was."
"Aiyaaa." Shampoo managed to look a little green. "So Mousse now think he a she. Well, maybe he at least leave Shampoo alone now."
Cologne nodded. "I wonder how the others who were affected are handling all this?"
Ryouga had seen better days, walking up to the school, he slowly confirmed that the sign read "Fu-ri-n kan Senior High School" then glanced back into the courtyard. "This can't be right," he muttered.
It was Ranma's fault. It had to be. For whatever reason he'd switched the signs with another high school and was probably laughing at him somewhere. Ryouga growled.
"Ryouga-sama!"
Another strange woman in one of those dark blue sailor fuku was waving at him and grinning like a maniac. How did all these women know him, anyway?
"Ah, Ryouga Hibiki, surely a name to conjure with, pure poetry in motion such as you are?"
Ryouga blinked as he regarded the tall woman in the white and blue fuku, carrying a bokken of all things. What the heck? "Uhm, do I know you? Miss?"
"Ah, you did indeed, Ryouga-kun. One takes it that you do not peruse the pedestrian tabloids or partake of that idiocy known as television?"
"Ah-hah." Ryouga briefly entertained the notion that this was actually Furinkan Asylum and he'd completely misread the kanji. "I've kinda been out of town."
"Know then, that you are facing the rising star of the kendo club, the Blue Rose Of Furinkan High School, Tatewaki Kuno."
"Yeah, right. Uh-huh." Ryouga nodded. Definitely an asylum. "And this is where you tell me..."
"If I beat you, then I shall date thee!"
Ryouga was opposed to hitting girls on general principle. Girls attempting to slam a hardwood bokken into his head, after making thoroughly insane statements were not included in the "do not hit" category.
Besides, if it WAS Kuno or even vaguely related to Kuno, he could make an exception.
"Ryougaaaaaaaa!"
"Akane?!" Ryouga looked around, trying to find her. He heard her voice, or was that merely his love for her echoing within his heart? Immediate guilt as the thought of Akari crossed his mind. This is Ryouga, even when something's going right he'll find a way to be depressed or guilty about it. And then blame Ranma.
"Ryouga! It's good to see you again, I'm glad you didn't get caught up in this mess!"
Ryouga blinked. This woman who had come up to him did look a lot like Akane, but she had longer hair, was wearing one of the dark blue fukus, and was...
"Akane?!?"
The woman flipped back her hair back from over her shoulder. "Of course, it's me, silly."
"You're wearing makeup? Nail polish? Earrings?!" Ryouga's mind was going into overload. Too many things did NOT compute.
"Oh, Ryouggaaaaa!"
Ryouga glanced over to his right and noticed a small CROWD of girls eyeing him over. The only time he saw any woman looking at a guy like that was when Shampoo or Ukyou were trying to make the moves on Ranma.
"Akane," Ryouga managed when he could force suddenly dry lips to speak again. "Would you mind telling me exactly what is going on here?"
"I would, Ryouga-chan, but they're going to start the Family Planning class soon!" Akane's eyes glittered as she considered all the wonderful things they might cover today.
"Urk. Pardon me." Ryouga thought that being near Akane was a slice of paradise, but he was suddenly feeling very much in need of something that made sense. Akane taking courses in Parenting? Of course, considering her father, who could blame her?
"And then later there's Cooking, Cosmetology, and...oh Ryouga, school is just so much more FUN now."
Ryouga started scanning the skies. He'd seen enough American SF movies to know one of three things was going to happen any moment now: a) Rod Serling was going to step out from behind one of these trees, or b) the alien body-snatchers that had replaced Akane and the rest of the school with these overendowed and badly programmed replacements were going to show up and suck out his brains. OR c) the Candid Camera crew would finally realize that he was on to them, and they'd get on to doing this to someone who'd really believe this junk. Maybe Ranma, who'd really freak.
Ryouga smiled at the "Akane" and nodded. "Sure, 'Akane', go ahead and get to class. I'll wait around for you, heh heh."
Akane looked momentarily puzzled, then turned on that dazzling smile. She ran in just before the bell started to ring and the large group of girls ran inside as well.
Ryouga, of course, immediately started trying to figure out where the camera crew was. For once, he just sat down under a tree and got ready for a long wait. It had been a long week.
Hiroshi's mother had always wanted a daughter. Therefore, when the news report had come out about "Nightmare at Furinkan" she had been of two minds about the whole thing.
Then had come the perpetrator of the event, saying that it was: a) permanent b) carried mental effects
This pretty much settled her mind as to how to handle the whole thing.
She'd quickly settled into teaching her daughter how to properly act and dress. Hiroshi had started out protesting loudly and with great passion. Hiroshi had gradually become more sullen, and still muttered a few complaints under her breath.
Mrs. Hyojun watched her daughter sulking as she brushed out her hair. The hair had been one of those things that fascinated Shoko Hyojun, the way that it seemed to grow another few inches every day. Within three days it was well over a foot longer, it was much finer and shinier than it had been. By the end of the week it had seemed to slow to near normal growth rates but was over three feet in length.
Mrs Hyojun was pleased with how well Hiroshi was handling the changes in her life, maybe it was time to change her name to Hiroko. She didn't want to overwhelm her daughter with too much change all at once though, she'd heard a couple of children had to be restrained from throwing themselves off the school's clock tower.
Fortunately they'd managed to stop everyone but that Tsubasa character, and SHE was currently being chased all over Nerima by some sort of legendary lecher that attended Tomobiki High School.
Hiroshi nodded to her mother, then made her way to the furo. Mrs Hyojun watched her daughter and smiled, she knew Hiroshi could hardly wait to get out of that fuku. She wondered if Hiroshi knew how cute she looked in it. Not that she thought that her former son was ready for that information.
The scream of anguish from the furo brought her running, it had been the sound of someone who had just gone into Full Panic.
When she entered the bathing room, there was Hiroshi looking down at herself and whimpering. "Mom, I'm...bleeding. From there."
Seeing what was going on, Shoko gave her daughter a reassuring smile. At least it was meant to be reassuring. "Now dear, this is perfectly normal, though I didn't really expect this to happen so soon."
"SO SOON!" Hiroshi all but screamed. "I'm hemorraghing here damnit! I'm bleeding from THIS THING!"
Shoko Hyojun continued to speak calmly and quietly. She hadn't panicked herself when it had happened to her, but she'd also had many more years to get used to the idea of being of the female persuasion. "It's perfectly normal for a girl your age."
"I'm a guy," Hiroshi didn't sound too convinced of that at the moment. Being able to see herself in the mirror didn't help any.
"Dear, you're a girl now, and everything I've heard says that's the way you'll be for life." Shoko nodded as Hiroshi stared at her, the general impression was of Hiroshi-the-deer caught in the oncoming headlights. "You're just having your period. Your body is saying it is ready to make babies."
"My..." Hiroshi somehow managed to turn even paler and begin to sweat as THAT penetrated. Shoko could see the idea settle into the girl's mind. Guys didn't have periods. Guys did not have babies. Guys also did not have their mothers talking them through their first period.
Hiroshi's mind abruptly clicked to the OFF position. He didn't faint, but a telepath attempting to read his mind would have gotten a test pattern and a tiny little voice going over her mother's statement in a closed loop.
Seeing her daughter was holding up better than she had originally feared, Mrs Hyojun began to explain the mysteries of the tampon and what a Wonderful Thing This Actually Was. She seemed encouraged by the occasional nod, not realizing that her child was currently on Autopilot (so to speak) and continued going on the lecture titled Female Plumbing 101.
Hiroshi WAS listening, on one level. The rest of her currently disorganized thought processes were still racing around in that aforementioned closed loop. The only breaks in that stream were "This can't be happening, I'm a guy!" and another one that came out with "I can't believe I was ever envious of Ranma."
In a small village thousands of miles away, Ranma sneezed again. He wondered who the heck was thinking of him so frequently that he'd been acting like he had a major allergy season for the past few days.
He shrugged and decided Nabiki was probably still trying to find ways to profiteer off his absence, and Akane was angry that her favorite punching bag was nowhere to be seen.
Ranma smiled and ate slowly. He didn't miss Nerima very much at all. He would have to go back, honor demanded he do something about all the problems he had. Master Po had given him something to think about as well.
Shampoo could not return to her home without him. She either had to kill him, or marry him. The least punishment was exile. To be trapped in her Jusenkyo-cursed cat form forever was one of the more likely punishments. The worst would be something Master Po had refused to speak of directly. Ranma gathered it was a way to alter the Jusenkyo curse, where Shampoo would be far worse than if she were merely a cat.
This complicated things. Ukyou and Shampoo both SAID they loved him. Ukyou, the friend he could always rely on, who would be crushed if he broke off his engagement to her. Honor demanded that he marry a Tendo because that was the oldest engagement. Honor demanded that he marry Ukyou because his father had accepted the DOWRY and therefore that claim had as much weight as the older one. Then there was this new development with Shampoo.
At least it was easier to think about all this here, without new fiancees showing up or his father creating new hassles for him. Ranma sighed and went back to work. There was a certain pleasure to be found in creating something, and he was learning carpentry at this new job. At least he had skills to fall back on, now.