Night Owls

Daken apparently wasn’t lying when he said he forgot where he lived.

I’ve asked thirty times in thirty different ways to try to figure it out and he really doesn’t know.

We were standing on the curb for a while but he got cold. I had to take him back to the bar to collect his shirt.

By taking him back to the bar I ran into his friends again.

His friends followed us for about three blocks before ending up in a Waffle House.

“I see you….” He sings, looking through his ‘telescope’. (a news paper rolled into a cone that he’s scouting the city with.)

“I see you too.” I grouse.

“Land ho!” We step up onto another curb.

“That’s right Daken.” I feel so tired. “Land ho.” Just like all the other ‘lands’ he’s found.

“where is my map?” His words are very precise. Very crisp. Like he’s playing with them.

Sighing, I pass him his phone. His ‘map’ is a list in his ‘notes’ app that is a rambling mix of words and numbers. He’s ‘documenting’ the city. The list is actually pretty long for something that makes absolutely no sense.

“Thank you first mate.”

“Any time.” This is so insanely frustrating.

“Anytime- what?” He presses.

I glare at him. “I’m not saying it.”

“Sayyy it.” He slurs.

“No.”

He taps his entry into his list and mumbles “Captains log. First mate refuses to cooperate. Could spell mutiny for the ship.”

I’ll give him a mutiny.

I didn’t want to do this.
I just wanted him to go the fuck home.

But NOOOOO.

He got himself too fucked up to remember where that is!

“First mate?”

“I’m not answering to that anymore.” I growl.

“First mate is a tad irrational when called to perform his duties.” He taps away on his phone.

“Are you writing that down?” I complain. What else can I do?

“IT’s my log book.”

“I thought it was your map.”

“It’s both.” He smiles. “OH look.” He points. “A sign!”

It’s a street sign. He’s pointed out everyone we’ve walked by.

“We’re getting close.” He nods his head as if he knows some hidden secret.

“Close to what?”

he smiles. “Land ho!” he passes me his phone. “Hold the map first mate.”

We’re walking through the street, off the curb and into a busy crosswalk.

“Wait!” I have to stop him from walking out into traffic. I pocket his phone after almost dropping it when I grabbed him. “That’s oncoming traffic!”

“The captain waits for no one.” He says indignantly.

He wrenches his arm from me and walks into the street, bringing all traffic to a stand still as he marches back and forth. One side to the other. Like his own personal parade of chaos. The drivers inch forward as far as they can. He makes it the other side before running back out into the street and stopping in the middle, arms outstretched and head thrown back.

“Look at all the boats!” He calls back to me.

“Those are cars!!” I run out amongst all the honking vehicles. “Sorry!” I call. “He’s fucked up! I’m sorry!”

Tons of ‘get out of the street assholes’ and ‘fucking idiots’ echo from the rapidly building up traffic.

“I’m your captain!” Daken yells at them, fist balled at his side.

“Daken!” I hiss. “Get back on the sidewalk!”

“This mutiny will not stand!!” He bellows, charging towards a nearby taxi.

“No!” I grab him about the waist. He extends his claws and swings wildly in the direction of the cab.

“Mutie freak!” The cabbie yells.

“Captain!” Daken corrects.

“Get out of the street!” I grunt in my efforts to hold him back.

“You’re a horrible first mate!” He groans as I pull him back to the side walk- having to fight him for every single inch of progress I make.

“Sorry!” I repeat loudly for the cars. “We’re sorry everyone!”

Daken sags in my arms. “Land ho.” He giggles when we’re back on the sidewalk.

“What the hell were you thinking??” I demand.

“I’m crossing the street!” He says defensively.

“We cross when the little white man tells us to.” I say heatedly, pointing to the traffic sign. “That means all the cars have stopped.”

“All the cars were stopped.” He says pointedly.

“Because you walked in front of them!” I say in disbelief.

“Johnny…” He slurs.

I look at the traffic that’s resumed it’s busy pace.
“Yes?” I say distractedly.

“Your eyes.” He slurs. “Your eyes are so, so, so pretty.”

That throws me. “Uh... thank you.”

“Thank you…?”

“I’m not saying it.” I growl. Moment ruined.

“I’m your captain.” He sings.

“No you’re not.”

“You’re my first mate.”

“No-“

“We’re searching for the magical isle of..” He stops and thinks. “Waffles! We’re searching for the magical isle of waffles!”

Not this again.

I groan. “We’re not going to that waffle house.” I say sternly.

He’s silent for a minute. “Land ho!” He yells, pointing to the street as the little man on the sign turns white.

“Land ho.” I sigh, pulling him into motion.

We’re half way through the cross walk when Daken wrenches free from me again and starts to honest to god strut.

“I’m a model.” He turns around at the curb and walks back, walking past me to our original side of the street.

“NO!” I groan, grabbing him and turning him around. “Be a model that way! That way Daken!”

He blinks slowly.

“You could be a model too.” He sounds like he’s trying to bribe me.

“I don’t want to be a model.” I huff, pushing him towards the other side of the street.

“Ouch!” He stumbles. “Ow Johnny.” he pouts.

For the thousandth time tonight I look down at his bare feet.

He needs shoes. I can’t drag him all around the city barefooted- he’s getting filthy.

“I’m sorry.” I actually am.

He stumbles over his feet again. “Ouch!”

HE’s…

“You're doing that on purpose now.” I scold. “Stand up straight and walk.”

He glares at me. “I’m the captain.”

“Then walk like it.” I hiss.

We make it to the other side of the side walk, he stops a few feet from the curb and then launches him self onto it, looking very much like a gymnast.
He turns around with his arms stretched over his head.

“Gold!”

“Gold.” I indulge him. “Hey Daken-” I join him on the sidewalk just in time for the light to change. “You need shoes.”

“I do need shoes.” He smiles. “Very good ob… ab… ser… vation.” He slurs his words, wrinkling his nose up as he does.

“Do you have a wallet?”

“Of course I do!” He says indignantly.

“Then if I take you somewhere to get shoes- you’ll buy them?”

He nods. “Shopping!? I love shoes.”

“Good.” I look into the street for a cab.

Where would you find shoes at midnight?

Where…?

I know a place. It’s a bit out of the city though…. But… well...

Okay.

I take him to the super store, get him shoes, and then go get … help.

Help to find his apartment.

But other than me and Bullseye (apparently)- who else does Daken know in this city? Who would he know well enough to…

Wait! I got it!

I’ll get him shoes, and I’ll take him to Laura. Laura will be able to help me!

A cab pulls up to us, and I shuffle him into the back.

“Oh.” The cabbie says in a judgmental tone. “It’s you again.”

Its’ the man from before.

“Hi.” I say sheepishly.

“You know where you’re going this time?”

“Actually yes.” I push Daken into the cab and slide in beside him. “We need to go to Wal-Mart.”

“heh.” Daken giggles. “That’s funny...”

“Not funny. Accurate.” I correct him. “It’s the only place that will be open.”

“That’s a little outta the city.” The driver says.

I have about a hundred and fifty bucks in cash on me. If it’s anymore than that, I’ll just hit an ATM.

“I’ve got the cash.” I assure.

"Gimme my phone." Daken slurs.

“Fine.” The man sets the timer and pulls off from the curb.

"Gimme my phone." Daken repeats, louder.

I hand it over while shushing him.

Everyone sits in silence as Daken observes the roof tops very intently all the while typing on his phone.

“BOO!” he yells suddenly. “Boo!”

The cabbie and I both jump in our seats.

“Boo what!?” I say when I’ve recovered from the shock.

“Boo Daredevil!” He says with a laugh. “booooo.”

“You see-“

“You see the Devil?” the cabbie asks.

“Slinking on the roof tops.” Daken says in a very judgmental way. “Should be called ‘cat devil’.”

“Sure.” I sigh. “Sure he should.”

“Here kitty kitty kitty.” He laughs. “Kitty kitty cat cat.”
“Okay...”

“That makes Bullseye his mouse.” He says with a nod. “Don’t go after the devil” I told him. But nooooooo. Lester knows everything.” He turns to me. “He’s fucked up. I mean – I’m fucked up but Lester…” He stops. “Mousey mousey. Playing in the kitchen. Little angry mouse man.”

Okay….

“Cat- Devil is going to take his tail off one day.” He pouts. “And I like his tail.”

“Heh. He’s trippin’ fuckin’ hard.” The driver says with a laugh.

“Yup.” I watch him look out the window. He turns and flashes me the most brilliant smile.

“It’s like the date we never had.” He slurs.

That’s…

Okay.

“You and Bullseye?” I hate to ask.

“Wait?” He bursts out laughing. “What? No. Lester and I go to sports bars. He gets drunk, fondles me, fucks me, and leaves.”

“Oh.”

“I meant us.” He slurs. “You and Me. Johnny sitting in a tree. F-U-C-K-“

“That’s not how that goes.” I cut him off from something that was probably vile and embarrassing.

“Yes it is!” He insists.

“Sure it is Daken.” I sigh.

We make a few blocks away from our 'land curb', passing by all the places we’ve already been on the way out of the city when Daken starts banging on the roof. “Stop!” he calls. “Brakes, brakes, brakes!”

“What are you doing?” I demand.

The cabbie stops, putting us in front of …

“Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” I groan. “No Daken. We’re not going to that Waffle House.” I nudge the driver with my hand. “Just keep going.”

“Noooooo!” Before I know what’s happening, Daken’s opened the cab door and rolled out onto the street. He runs full speed into the Waffle House and Waves from behind the glass door.

“Ah fuck.” I groan. “What do I owe you?”

“Five bucks.” The man holds his hand out.

“Thanks.” I give him a ten and exit.

This night could not get any worse.

He’s out of control, he’s walking in front of cars, he’s jumping out of cabs…. It’s impossible.

Daken is seated at the counter of the small restaurant, talking to an elderly woman.

The florescent lighting is hard to adjust to as I walk in.

There’s dirt swept into a pile by the bathrooms and everything is this odd shade of gray. There are tables pressed against the windows which house the only other customers.

Costumers that my disorderly mutant should not bother.

God only know how this is going to go if he slips up and uses his powers.

Then I’d have to use my powers.

And in a place like this?

Fire hazard.

Definite fire hazard.

“It was a mutiny.” He slurs as I walk up to him. “Johnny- Barb.” He motions to the woman. “Barb- Johnny.” he smiles and holds up a finger. “That’s manners.”

Barb is a small wrinkled woman with white hair. “Your friend here could use some coffee.” She says with a smile. “Friendly guy though.” She chuckles.

“He’s my first mate.” Daken nods. “For my ship.”

“He could use something alright.” I grouse.

“You have the prettiest eyes. Like Johnny’s!” Daken says happily.

Blue.

her eyes are blue.

“Why thank you.” She says happily to him before turning her attention to me. “Any way he’s affiliated with them?” She jerks her thumb to the other side of the restaurant.

I look over in the corner and see the only other two people in the restaurant. Both looking like shit. People who look vaguely familiar come to think of it. Who-

Oh god no.

Daken’s friends from the bar look up, “Johnny?” the man slurs.

“Johnny!” The woman says happily. “That’s Johnny! From the bar!”

God no. This is the last thing we need right now.

“Bar Nymphs!” Daken calls to them. He sounds so fucking happy. All I want to do is cry. “These,” He motions between them and himself. “These are my people.”

“Your people have taken up that booth for the last two hours.” The woman is smiling when she says this.

The muscled man is still shirtless and the woman looks like she’s going to puke at any second.

They join us at the bar, both of them leaning over it heavily. The woman ends up face down.

“Barb…” I drawl. “I think they all need coffee.”

Barb chuckles. “That one could probably do with some aspirin.” She motions to the woman.

The woman suddenly raises her hand. “When a hot guy asks you to dance on a bar- you do it.” She slurs. “I mean- look at him.”

Daken smiles.

“Look at him! The woman insists. She looks between Barb, her male friend, and myself. “Are you looking?” She sounds confused.

“We’re looking honey.” Barb says sympathetically. “He’s very pretty.”

“No.” Daken slurs. “You’re pretty.”

Barb turns her back and starts making coffee, laughing and laughing.

“You’re an angel!” Daken calls to her.

“Daken.” I groan.

“A wonder too great for this world.”

Barb places a coffee in front of him. “Thanks dear. My husband thinks so too.”

Daken leans on his elbow. “He’s a very lucky man.” He says in the most intoxicated way he could have possibly managed.

She leans closer to him. “I like to think so.”

Daken’s friends… Damn. What do I call them?

“Who are you two?” I ask them.

“My bar nymphs.” Daken says with a nod.

“Christi.” The woman slurs. “With an ‘I’.”

“Sammy.” The man introduces, looking at me while holding his head in his hands. “With a ‘y’.”

“Nice to meet you.” I say quietly. “This is Daken.” I point to him. “I’m Johnny.”

“I’m a captain.” Daken leans around me. “Captain Daken. Johnny’s my first mate.” He cups a hand over his mouth. “But we’re not together anymore.” He whisper- shouts.

“NO fucking way!” Sammy gasps. “Of a boat??”

“Of a bunch of boats.” Daken says with a grin.

“No he’s not.” I correct. “He’s just high.” Which gives me a thought. “Did either of you take anything he gave you?” I ask. It doesn’t matter if I have tact about this. They’re all too fucked up to care. If this drug is fucking him up so badly, I’d hate to see what it does to humans.

The two shake their heads.

“He has drugs???” Christi lays her head back down. “Naughty, naughty boy.”

“I can’t get drunk you see.” Daken says almost sadly.

“That’s so sad.” Sammy says in what sounds like true remorse.

“It is.” Daken says with a nod. “So I take drugs!” HE’s happy again.

“Drugs are bad for you.” Christi says, picking her head up from the counter again.

“Yes.” I nod. “Yes Christi. Drugs are bad.”

“Alcohol is goooood.” She sings. “So goooood in the tummy.”

“Drink this honey.” Barb sits a coffee in front of her. “That alcohol isn’t going to be so good to your tummy if you don’t sober up.”

“Yummy.” Christi gulps down coffee before making the most horrendous noise and spitting it back onto the counter. “IT’s too Strong!!” She bellows.

Sammy laughs. “Christi is a water fountain.”

“I...” Daken looks to be in concentration. “I was a water fountain tonight.”

“Really?” Sammy is hanging onto his every word.

“I was naked in a park.” Daken smiles. “On a horse.”

Barb snorts. “You the DD tonight?” She says looking at me.

I run my fingers though my hair. “Unfortunately.”

“Saw him jump out the cab.” She points to Daken who’s nursing his coffee. “I can only imagine what kind of night you’re having.”

“Johnny rescued me.” Daken says with a nod. “My date and I got into a fight. And then my date stabbed me. And then he got caught by The Cat Devil.”

“Cat Devil?” Barb asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t worry about it.” I sigh.

She chuckles again. “What can I get you dear?”
“Can I just get a waffle?” I’m starving.

“Sure.”

Everyone is silent for a second.

“It smells like grease and dirt in here.” Daken announces.

“Daken!” I snap.

“And Christi smells like she’s going to be sick.”

The woman gasps. “I feel like I’m going to be sick! Whoa.” She holds her hand up. “Whoa. Are you psychic?”

“Nope.” Daken smiles. “well... maybe. I don’t know.” He turns to me. “Johnny am I psychic?”

“No Daken.” I say in monotone. “You’re not psychic.”

Christi giggles. “I like that name. What is it?”

“Japanese.” He supplies with a slur.

“Ah. So that’s what you’re mixed with.” Sammy says. “Pretty, pretty, skin.”

“My skin is pretty.” Daken says happily.

“And you have a tattoo!” Sammy says in glee.

“I have a tattoo too!” Christi is suddenly sitting up right and pulling down her dress.

I mean, full nudity. Breast exposed, no bra... all of it. She cups her breast, lifting it so we can see her ribs. “See it?”

It looks like some kind of stylized cat.

“That’s very pretty.” Barb says. “But you’re indecent. Cover up honey. You’ve got men around you.”

“Right.” Christi redresses herself.

“You have lovely breasts.” Daken slurs, laying his head on the counter.

He’s tired!”

Oh my god- he’s tired!

“Sleepy Daken?” I ask in what I hope is a sweet tone.

He nods. “I’m tired first mate. Take the wheel.”

“Do you remember where you live yet?” I ask sweetly.

He shakes his head.

“Can you try?”

“It’s classy.” He says after some thought. “I live like a rich person.” He grins. “But it’s not my money.”

“That’s-“

“It’s his!” He giggles. “He’s dead or in jail. I have access to the accounts… so every time I run low…” He waves his hands in front of him. “I just go get more.”

“That’s nice.” I push that aside. “But where do you live?”

he giggles again. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t you want to go to sleep in your bed?” I ask in what I assume is a helpful tone.

“I can’t find my bed.” he sighs. “Take me to yours?”

No. I can’t. If I could this would all be over and done with.

“I can’t do that- but I have a friend we can call.”

“A friend?”

“A mutual friend.” I nod. “Someone who might know where you live.”

“Who’s that?” He slurs.

“Let me ask you this- do you like Laura?” Blunt again.

“Laura?”

“Kinney.”

“Laura!” he slurs. “Oh- she’s fun.”

“Do you like her enough to have her number?”

Daken grins. “I have everyone’s number.”

“Including hers?”

He nods.

“Then can I see your phone?”
He nods before clumsily sliding it out of his pocket and passing it over.

“Thank you.” I say brightly.

Christi takes another swig of coffee- spitting it out again as Sammy passes out on the bar.

Daken slumps in his chair.

“I’ll put all this to bed.” I smile, finding her number amongst all the neat and orderly contacts.

Daken is grinning, face down in the counter.

“You’re going to bed with the captain tonight.” He sings softly.

“Sure. That’ll happen.” I say absentmindedly.

“I’m gonna remember that you said that.” He grins again.

That’s an empty threat.

“Uh hmm.” I don’t really pay him much attention.

“The captain’s quarters are really nice.” He continues.

“I’m sure they are.”

“I’ve got that lube you like.” He slurs.

Barb puts the plate of waffles down in front of me, eyes almost dancing with mischief. “You and he used to be a thing- huh?” She smiles. “That explains a lot.”

“We were.” Daken nods his head, still face down so the move looks a little odd. “Until I fucked it up.” He raises his head suddenly. “Barb.” He whispers.

“Yes?”

He crooks his finger and ushers her closer “Barb!” He whispers again.

“Yes?” she whispers, leaning in close.

Daken takes his hand and covers his mouth, he grabs her hand and makes her do the same. “I have a plan.” He whispers when he’s sure his ‘secure’ enough.

A plan?

That sounds lovely.

“I hope it works out.” She whispers back before turning to me. “Syrup, sweetie?”

“That’d be great.”

Barb nods and fetches it for me.

Daken’s phone is deadly silent while I eat.

I’m losing more hope by the minute.

“I wanna play on my phone.” Daken shoots up in his chair.

“No you don’t.”

“I wanna play on my phone.” He repeats.

“No yo-” The phone vibrates in my hand.

Laura with a simple,

‘how do I know this isn’t a trick?’

I text back, ‘ask me anything he wouldn’t know but I would. Please. I need your help.”

I get a faster reply with, ‘I could help.’ I can imagine her emotionless face as she says that. ‘But I’m on a date. It’s not going very well and I think involving Daken would make it worse.’

‘I’m so sorry to ask- ‘

“I wanna play on the phone!”

‘askskskskss’

Damn it.

“Get your fingers off the phone!” I snap at him. “You can’t play with it right now!”

She texts back ‘What?’

‘Daken tried to take the phone from me. Look, I’m sorry to ask. I really am. But I need help. If I let him run around the city someone’s gonna get hurt. Please. Please help me.’

“I want to play Angry Birds.” Daken groans.

“Shush.”

‘Fine. Where are you?’

I give her the waffle house’s address after asking Barb.

‘That’s a few blocks down from the theater we’re at. Can you meet us by the park entrance?’

Park?

‘That’ll work.’

‘I will see you shortly.’

Good. That’s good.

Something is going right now.

“Laura is going to meet us at the park.” I say happily, passing his phone over to him. “And we’re going to get you home.”

“And then we’ll go to bed.” He smiles.

“And then YOU’LL go to bed.” I correct. “I’m going to bed at my house.”

Daken closes his eyes. “We’ll go to bed.” He repeats.

I go to correct him again, but Barb holds up a hand and mouths ‘leave it’.

So I leave it.

What’s the worst that could happen by letting him think that? He’s getting more and more fucked up by the minute. He won’t even remember this conversation in about twenty minutes.

I’ll just get him to Laura, figure out where he lives, and get him home. I’ll be in bed before I know it. Try going out again tomorrow night.

Right. Now there’s a plan.

Plans are good.

I look over at Daken’s slumped form and feel a sense of hope.

He’s winding down. There’s no way he’ll be giving me any problems now.

He’s beat and I have a plan.

Things are looking up.