We'll Get Through This (Supernatural)
We'll Get Through This.
(SPN Comfort fic)
Castiel eyed Y/N nervously as they walked across the Bunker. He had been keeping his eye on them for the past couple of months. He could sense something was wrong, but he didn't know what it was, especially since they had painted warding symbols on their door and upper walls to keep any angels out.
Y/N's behaviour was beginning to frighten him, he considered them a very close friend, and would hate if they had gotten hurt somehow. So he stood from a distance and watched ever so carefully. Soon he began to sense a pattern and he didn't like it.
Cas frowned as Y/N went back to their room, he glanced down at his watch and confirmed his suspicions. They hadn't eaten supper.
He walked over to the war room where the Winchesters were eating burgers and salad, and labouring over some books.
He sat down across from Dean, getting their attention. Dean looked at him confused. "Hey Cas, what's going on?" He questioned taking another bite of the burger in front of him.
"I believe something is wrong with Y/N." Dean froze mid-chew.
The Winchesters had taken Y/N in after saving them from a vampire's nest that had taken their family. Usually they would of simply handed them over to Jody Mills, hell the boys tried that, but they always ran away and claimed that they didn't feel safe. So Sam and Dean took Y/N in, and taught them how to protect themselves, they had come to think of them like they were their family. Of course they were worried.
Sam sighed and put his head in his hands. "How bad is it? Did they steal something? Or are they," Sam hesitated and mimicked a inserting a needle into his arm, Cas looked at him confused. "doing drugs."
Dean and Cas's eyes both widened. "What?!" Dean sputtered. "No, they're just a kid, they're not allowed to be doing anything like that!!" Cas held up a hand to calm Dean down.
"Calm down, they are not doing drugs." Sam and Dean both deflated in relief. "Then what's going on?" Sam questioned calmly.
Cas opened his mouth to speak but Y/N walked into the room. They were dressed in their jogging clothes and was mindlessly thumbing through their phone playlists to find their workout one. "I'm going for a run, I should be back in about a hour or two." Castiel quickly stood at attention. "Wait! Shouldn't you eat before you go?" Y/N's smile faltered for a second before returning on their face. "Um, no thanks. I just ate a while ago." They then turned and left before anymore questions could be asked.
Sam and Dean both starred at Cas as he growled and sat back down. "What the hell was that about?!" Dean hissed. Cas's eyes remained glued on the door Y/N had just walked through. "They're lying." He stated. Sam frowned and knitted his eyebrows. "What? What do you mean?"
Cas sighed and looked over at the both of them. "They didn't eat supper, or breakfast for that matter. And they only ate a protein bar for lunch before going straight back over to their room. I don't wish to say what I think they do in there."
The Winchester's faces paled as realization hit them. Sam gulped and played with his hands a little. "You mean....you think..."
"I believe they're anorexic and possibly bulimic, yes." Cas paused and ran a hand over his face. "I've been tracking their eating schedule for about a month now, I wanted to be sure before telling you two. But I'm afraid that's what the evidence shows. "
Dean shook his head, and pushed his food away from him, loosing his own appetite at the thought of this. "How long have they been doing this?" He asked
Cas shrugged. "I don't know, I only picked up on it last month, but I dare say they've been doing for quite a while more if they're this casual with it." Dean was now glaring at the Bunker's exit, absolutely furious with himself.
How could he not notice that this happy teenager was starving themselves? Maybe if he had caught on sooner they wouldn't be so deep into it. A hand clasped down on his shoulder, Dean looked up to see Cas.
"Don't blame yourself. Y/N is very good at masking what they're feeling or hiding what they're doing. They didn't want us to know, so it was nearly impossible to." Sam frowned at this.
"Then how did you notice it? What made you suspicious?"
Castiel tensed as he thought of when he first noticed their eating disorder.
He had been walking past their room, and heard what sounded like gagging and vomiting. He instantly became concerned and knocked on their door. "Y/N? Are you alright?" There was a noise that sounded like a mixture of a sob and choke that came back in response. That was all he needed to walk in. The sight he was welcome to was them sitting on the floor, crouched over the toilet, expelling any of the contents in their stomach. He went over to them, and held back their hair for them and rubbed their back. He made calming noises as they finished and leaned themselves against the bath tub beside them, sobbing silently.
"Are you alright?" Cas asked and began to play with their hair. They nodded and used a piece of toilet paper to wipe around their mouth. "I'm fine. Must of caught the flu or something." They chuckled to themselves. Cas allowed himself to see what kind of physical sickness they had so that he could heal them, but instead he found nothing, only the fact that they was malnourished. He frowned and allowed his eyebrows to knit together in confusion. "You don't have the flu, you're under fed. I'll go get you some soup, but for now let's get you in bed."
He helped them stand and walked them over to their bed before tucking them in. He smiled and placed a small kiss on their forehead. "I'll be right back."
He went out to the kitchen and quickly made a bowl of chicken noodle soup, before returning to their room. Only, he wasn't able to get in. He frowned and tried again, but it was as if there was some kind of force field. "Y/N? Is everything alright? I can't get in." He explained beginning to get concerned for his friend. "I'm fine, Cas! It's just really disgusting in here, trust me, you don't want to see this." Cas looked down at the bowl of soup in his hands and frowned as he left.
Cas shook his head at the memory and looked up at his boys. "I thought they were sick, so I told them I was going to get some soup, but when I came back they had put up some warding to keep me out." He explained in an upset tone.
Sam's stomach flipped at the response. He really hoped that Cas was just over reacting, but it didn't seem that way, it appeared that their friend was telling the truth, and it tore Sam apart. He hated knowing that Y/N, this amazing, and wonderful person, didn't see just how beautiful and magnificent they were. It hurt to even think about what they were doing in order to fit the image that society had carved into their mind as attractive.
Where Sam was feeling pity and empathy, Dean was over flowing with anger, resentment and a sense of failure.
He had noticed they had gotten a bit smaller, but he thought it was from all the jogging they had been doing, he hadn't thought for a second that it was because they were... Dean shook his head and ran his fingers over his face. Although he was bubbling with rage at the moment, it wasn't for them. It was for this thing, this sickness that has imbedded itself in their brain. He was pissed at himself for not reassuring them just how gorgeous they really were.
He raised his candy green eyes to meet Cas's sapphire ones. "What do we do?" Castiel glanced back up at the door. "For now, we wait until they get home. And when they do, we'll tell them that we know about their secret, and then take it from there."
They sat at the table and waited, doing research on how to help someone going through this to pass the time, but soon an hour passed...and then another...and another.
Eventually it had grown dark out, and the young teenager had still not returned, and team free will was beginning to get worried.
Dean paced the kitchen, his eyes flickering between the door and the clock. "They said they were just going for a run, they should be back by now. What do you think is taking them so long?" He muttered. Sam sighed and swept a hand through his hair. "I don't know Dean, but I'm sure they'll be home soon, don't worry."
He stood still for a moment before shaking his hand and moving to grab his keys and jacket. "I'm going to go look for them, something isn't right, I can feel it." Dean stated and started to leave.
Sam groaned and got up himself. "Dean, come on. I'm sure they're fine."
"But we don't know that for sure."
"They're probably just calming down or something."
"Or they got lost, and kidnapped by some creep. I'm not taking the chance!"
"Taking what chance?" They all turned to see a red and sweaty Y/N, looking very confused. Sam glared over at their as they threw their jogging jacket over one of the chairs. "Where the hell have you been?" He nearly shouted causing them to raise an eyebrow.
"At the gym, sorry if I worried you guys, I lost track of time." They mumbled and continued to walk towards their room, avoiding any eye contact with Cas. Dean moved in front of them, arms crossed in front of his chest. "We need to have a talk."
Y/N scoffed and rolled their eyes as they stepped around him. "Don't worry, my parents gave me the talk before they died. I already know all about the birds and the bees and that kind of stuff. But thanks for caring."
Cas growled and finally stood up. "Y/N stop, I know what your doing!" This got their attention. Y/N stood frozen, colour drained from their face. They slowly turned to face the angel, their face a complete blank slate. "And exactly what am I doing?" Their voice was quite, but you could feel the anger and fear radiate from it.
Cas gave them a soft look, trying to show them that he wasn't the enemy. "That day that I walked in on you, you weren't sick were you? You had forced yourself to-"
"Shut up!!!" Y/N screamed, their face bright red in anger. "You don't know anything, about me or what I do! None of you do!!" They turned their stare to the Winchesters. "I'm perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong with me, so just leave me alone, and keep your nose out of my business."
Dean rose an eyebrow at this and scoffed. "I'm sorry, but the last I checked, you live with us. Which means we're in charge of making sure your healthy, so if your starving yourself that's our business. You are our business."
They shook their head and began to wobbly walk away. "I'm not going to argue with you on this. You guys are being impossible. I'm not-" Y/N was cut off as they stumbled on nothing and fell onto their stomach, laying face down on the ground.
Dean stepped towards them to help them up, but the sound of crying made him stop in his tracks. Y/N sat up, wiped at the tears falling down their cheeks, and attempted to stop their sobs. "I'm-" they swallowed down the lump in their throat before continuing. "I'm fine." But more tears were welling up in their eyes even as they said it.
After a few seconds of silence Y/N finally broke and curled into themselves, their body shaking from violent sobs.
"Oh Y/N." Sam breathed as he sat down beside them and wrapped them in a hug, the teenager almost instantly threw their arms around him and cried into his chest. As Sam comforted them and rubbed their back, he looked up at Dean and Cas.
Both of their eyes were filled with sadness and painful familiarity, but also relieved to see they was finally letting it out.
"I just wanted to be thin." They all looked back down at Y/N, who's body leaning heavily against Sam's. "I didn't want to ever slow you guys down. What would of happened if we were being chased by some kind of monster and I was too...too fat to keep up? What if you guys suddenly decided I was just too big and was holding you back?" They wiped her eyes and looked up at Cas. "I did what I had to do."
Castiel fell to his knees and embraced the broken Y/G, Dean followed the action. The four of them sat there for what felt like ages just holding each other, not saying a single word. Cas eventually pulled away, stroked her hair as he looked at their with caring eyes.
"You are beautiful." He began. "It wouldn't matter if all you were made of was rolls and curves, or if you were as skinny as twig, you would still be absolutely gorgeous. Not because of the way you look, but because of who you are. You are kind, sweet, and overwhelmingly passionate in everything you do, and that's what makes you beautiful. Okay?"
Y/N gave him a nod, as tears continued to slid down their face. Cas gave them a small smile and wiped the tears away. Sam stood and offered them a hand to help them stand. Once Y/N was up on their feet, Sam wrapped an arm around their shoulders and led them towards the kitchen.
"Why don't we get you some food, huh? You must be starving!" Although Sam's intentions were good, at the thought of eating Y/N's stomach flipped, and they took a step back from the flannel-wearing, giant.
He stopped and looked at them with a frown. They sighed and shook their head. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can. I-It's been so long, just the thought of it... It scares me."
Dean walked up from behind them and patted their shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll take this slow. You don't have to do anything your not comfortable with. But you do need to start somewhere, so I'm going to go make you a tiny bit of chicken noodle soup, not even half a bowl full, and we'll go from there. Is that alright?" With a slight nod in confirmation, Dean leaned forward and gently kissed the top of their hair before heading towards the kitchen.
Y/N smiled as they watched their guardian walk away. For the first time in a long time they actually believed things could get better. It might take a while, but at least they was willing to try, and from there things could only get better.