"What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"
Natasha looked up and saw Bruce Banner - oh, God - standing in front of the bar with a smile on his face. Ugh. He truly made her sick. The guy kept following her everywhere and insisting that they had some kind of kinship - yeah, right - which made her very uncomfortable.
It was bad enough that she had to rub her hand on his when he was the Hulk to make him shrink back down to normal size - where the fuck was Betty Ross for that, anyway? Okay, it was perfectly understandable that they couldn't actually bring the woman on a mission, but couldn't they at least get a picture or a special doll made to look just like her?
Hell, Natasha would even pay for it, just as long as she didn't have to keep touching the Hulk. He was her teammate on the Avengers, true, but it was incredibly sexist to think that since she was the only woman on the team, she was the one best suited to do the lullaby with him.
That Beauty tames the beast shit was so tired it made her gums hurt. Besides, if anyone could make Hulk go back to being Banner, it was Thor. Natasha's hands may have been soft, but Thor's hands were even better. Not to mention that Hulk actually listened to Thor, so if the thunderer said something like, "Brother Hulk, you have slain many villains in glorious battle today, but now, we need you to rest and live to fight another day," that damn green machine would do it.
Thor was definitely closer to Hulk than Natasha was. After what happened on the Helicarrier two years ago, she didn't want to be anywhere near the guy, but Tony had made this big stink about how she could do a better job of calming Hulk than anyone else on the team.
Psh, but none of you even tried, Natasha thought with annoyance.
The redhead looked sideways at the man in front of her and shook her head. Thanks to the stupid lullaby thing, Bruce had become chummy with her and always trying to spend time with her. It was super awkward and many times, she had to remind herself that attempting to shoot the scientist wouldn't do anything but bring the Hulk out and he wouldn't take too kindly to her holding a gun in his face.
Where was Betty when you needed her?
Natasha sighed and took a sip of her drink, eyeing Bruce with zero interest. It was embarrassing how bad he was at taking clues and hints. She wasn't interested in him and never would be interested in him because
1. She didn't like him
2. He wasn't her type
and
3. She was a taken woman - thank God!
Case in point, Bruce really needed to back off. Natasha rolled her eyes and moved from behind the bar. "Does that terrible line actually work on anyone?"
"Well, I don't know. It's...been a long time since I flirted with someone."
Oh, what the hell?
"Really? Hm, you should try to track down that nice girlfriend of yours, then? Betty Ross. I'm sure she hasn't forgotten about you."
Bruce furrowed his brow. "Why would you mention her? I haven't seen Betty in years and I don't think she'd be too happy with me if I just showed up after all this time."
Natasha rolled her eyes again and when she did, her gaze caught on someone over Bruce's shoulder who was coming to the bar. A smile spread on her face and she gave Bruce her attention again. "I think you'd be surprised by what happens if you're willing to take a chance."
"You're speaking from personal experience?"
"Yes, she is," answered another voice that came from behind them.
Bruce turned and saw Steve standing a few feet away, a charming smile on his face. Before Bruce could ask for the particulars, Natasha startled him by moving to greet the super soldier.
"Hey, babe," she said in a husky voice.
Steve's smile grew wider and his hands wrapped around her like a protective cocoon. The redhead signed and nestled into his embrace for a moment, then turned her face up to give him a gentle kiss.
Bruce fiddled with his glasses and did a double take. There was a diamond ring on Natasha's finger that hadn't been there before. "Wait a minute. You two...?"
They ignored him, kissing until they had to separate to catch their breaths, but they stared into each other's eyes the whole time. "Yeah, we got married two weeks ago. That's why you didn't see us for a few missions." Steve's face was so bright, it could have lit up the entire building. Happiness was very evident in his features as he looked into the face of the redhead in his arms.
"Oh..." The scientist was befuddled and could hardly think of what to say.
After what felt like a century, Natasha turned to look at him again. "Listen, Bruce. Steve and I talked it over and I won't being doing the lullaby with you. To be honest, you're a nice guy, but the Hulk still makes me uneasy and having to be the one in charge of calming him down does nothing for my nerves."
This was surprisingly sudden, but Bruce couldn't say anything against her. After the Helicarrier, if he were in her shoes, he wouldn't like the idea of doing a lullaby on the Hulk either.
"Does, uh...does Tony know?"
Steve's eyes had a glimmer of annoyance in them. "No, and as far as I'm concerned, he can find out on the next mission. He may be the one who pays for everything, but I'm the team leader here and Nat is my wife now. No one will force her to do anything that she's uncomfortable with. Understand?"
Protective vibes came off the super soldier like an ocean wave, which was completely understandable and Bruce nodded meekly. "Of course." Guess he would have to get over that crush on Natasha very quickly.
The happy couple started to walk away, but Natasha handed Bruce something first. "We both know that you were never the right man for me. Even if Steve and I hadn't got married, there was no chance of us being together. Betty is your true soul mate and she loves you. Why don't you give her a call?"
Bruce looked down at the small scrap of paper with a number on it. Betty. He closed his eyes for a minute and breathed in deeply. "Thank you."
"You're very welcome," she replied and then, she and Steve were gone, making their way to the middle of the room where the other Avengers sat talking and enjoying themselves.
Natasha had found her real soul mate and Bruce felt so happy for her. He wanted to experience the same kind of joy and there was only one woman in the world who made him feel that way. It was Betty.
The scientist watched his friends from the front of the bar and smiled. They may start to wonder where he was after a while, but he was sure that Steve and Natasha would let them know that he'd be unavoidably detained.
He had a phone call to make.