A Halo Of Blood
The rattling sound of the train was the only thing in his head. The mild vibrations, lulling him, cold air rushing over his body. He managed to look up just in time to see Bucky, shield in his hand, walk towards the man in the metal suit. He wanted to shout out, wanted to warn him but no sound left his mouth. In slow – motion, he watched the blaster go off, watched Bucky raise the shield and - »Bucky! «.
Bucky was hanging on the outside of the train, close, so close.
»Hang on! Grab my hand! «
He was reaching out, reaching further and further, while the wind was tearing at his body, trying to drag him out of the train. A squeak, a loud crack. The world had stopped turning and Bucky was falling, falling, falling…
»Bucky! «, with a gasp, Steve sat upright in his bed, his chest heaving while he tried to get himself under control again. The nightmares were back, they had never really left but ever since D.C…
»Steve? «, Sam’s familiar frame entered the room, cautiously, trying not to startle him.
»I’m okay, Sam. «, Steve muttered. It was a lie and Sam knew it.
»You’ve got to start talking about this shit, man. When was the last time you actually slept more than a couple of hours? «
Instead of answering, Steve just sighed. After everything that had happened, he had moved into the Stark Tower and Sam had offered to stay with him, at least for the beginning. Steve couldn’t believe that it had only been a week. He had been released from the hospital fairly quickly, due to his super – human healing but that didn’t mean that the wounds weren’t still there because they were. Fresh and painful. Just invisible.
He listened as Sam walked back to his room. He was grateful that his friend was here, he was…but it was also strange. Sam had been his first real friend in this foreign century, helping Steve wherever he could and Steve…Steve felt guilty. He felt guilty because he had been afraid that if he let Sam in, he might forget about Bucky, he felt guilty because he had dragged Sam into the middle of a battlefield and Sam had followed him without questions. Just like Bucky had. Just like all the other Commandos had.
With another sigh, Steve stood up, he wouldn’t get any more sleep tonight anyway, and instead opened the drawer with his sketch book. Three years. Steve had been back for three years but not once had he picked up a pencil since then. He couldn’t. He had been too afraid of what might come to live if he did and even now he could feel the tremor in his hands at the mere thought of drawing something.
Maybe Sam’s right, he thought, maybe I should start talking to someone.
For a bunch of spies and geniuses, Sam though, the Avengers were pretty blind. It had taken him a full of ten minutes with Steve to see beyond the mask of Captain America and find a young war veteran thrown back into civilization and very obviously not coping. How anyone could think Steve was doing fine was a mystery to Sam and under different circumstances he might have laughed, except it kind of really wasn’t funny. At all.
He had spent a week with Steve now and every night without exception, he woke up to the screams of the Super Soldier, gasping for air, crying out for people long dead. And Barnes. Always Barnes. It didn’t take a lot to see the guilt that was eating him up and now that Barnes was evidently still alive…well…it didn’t exactly make things easier.
He had left him behind. The blonde man calling him Bucky. James Buchanan Barnes. He could have killed him – should have – but for some reason he hadn’t.
I know him.
It was…confusing? The man was pretty sure that was the right word for what he was feeling. Confusion.
The city had been in chaos and dismay, making it easy for him to slip through the cracks and making his way back to the vault. The HYDRA facility. He hadn’t even known why except that it had felt like the place to go and when he had gotten there, he had found the place empty. Abandoned in a hurry. It had taken one look, just one look, at the chair to make the anger come back. It had been a familiar feeling and the man hadn’t questioned it. Half an hour later, he had left the vault in ruins, only taken what he had deemed necessary or potentially helpful. A change of clothes, a backpack, water and food, a selection of weapons, and his files.
The calendar said that that had been seven days ago.
He had gone to D.C., to the apartment where he had shot the man with the eye patch, the blonde man’s apartment. It had held no new information except that the blonde man was called Steven Grand Rogers, known as Captain America. There had been something about those names that had lit a spark in the man’s brain and he once again he had thought he remembered a smell. A smell that made him feel calm and safe.
The calendar said that that had been five days ago.
The man had gone to the museum. An exhibition on Captain America. He had read about a small boy from Brooklyn and his childhood friend James Barnes. Bucky.
Who the hell is Bucky?
The fallen war hero had looked just like him, younger and without the countless scars but undeniably him.
That had been three days ago.
Now, the man – James – was going through the file he had taken from HYDRA. The file of the Winter Soldier. His file. It contained a list with all the missions he had been sent on, all the countries he had been held and without really meaning to, a plan had formed in James’ head and tomorrow he would be on his way to England.
Natasha stood in the remains of an old bank vault, looking around. There was nothing left except the smell of fire and chemicals. A thorough job for sure.
»Looks like someone was faster than us, «, Sam commented while stepping next to her.
»You think? «, she couldn’t help herself, »Come on, we should leave before we get company. «
They went back to the car and Natasha could practically hear her companion thinking, once she was behind the wheel, she fixed Sam with a pointed look, silently demanding him to talk.
»You think it was him? «, Sam asked, »Barnes? «
»Maybe. Maybe not. «, Natasha answered carefully. She had a pretty good idea about what had happened but it was far too early to voice those thoughts, so she didn’t. »But whoever it was…Steve shouldn’t get his hopes up. «S
am nodded, »I agree. «, it wasn’t often that they did see eye – to – eye on a matter but apparently Steve was one of the exceptions.
Steve was back in his apartment. He hadn’t told anybody where he would go but he was sure that, once Natasha noticed his absence, it would only take her a couple of minutes to find him. Everything looked exactly like he had left it. The three holes in the wall, the blood stains on the floor, the dirty dishes in the sink.
And yet…something was…different.
Steve couldn’t really put his finger on it except that there was something in the air, something that told him someone had been here.
He didn’t want to, his friends had told him over and over again not to get his hopes up, but he couldn’t help it…the thought of Bucky coming back here, lost and confused…in a way, it was worse than when he had thought Bucky was dead. Steve gulped audibly and got out his laptop to plug in the USB drive Natasha had given him, the one with HYDRA’s files on the Winter Soldier. He was hoping that he might find something – anything – that could help them find his best friend. A clue as to where Bucky might have gone after dragging him out of the Potomac.
Why had he done that?
It was a question that still haunted him, filled him with hopes and dreams but also sadness. His phone started ringing and Steve’s first instinct was to ignore it except that it was Natasha and she would just keep calling so he picked up with a sigh, »I’m fine, «, he said as soon as he had raised the phone to his ear.
»No, you’re not. «, Natasha told him, »Did you find something in the files? «
Steve wasn’t even going to ask how she had known that but instead squinted at the screen in front of him, »Maybe. There’s a list of locations where they used him. Might be a start…«
»Text me those locations and keep looking. Sam and I got this. «
Steve wanted to protest, wanted to demand to be included in this search but before he could say a word, Natasha had already hung up and…she had a point. Probably. He was compromised; personally involved in this mission, which meant he couldn’t stay objective and…he trusted them. Sam and Natasha. After all they had done for him he couldn’t not trust them and if they said they had this covered than he believed them. Still…Steve wished there was something more he could do.
The first point on their list was England. A small town at the west coast, secluded from views. The perfect hide out for a secret organization except…except once again, someone had found it before them. It was pretty much the same picture as the vault in D.C., completely destroyed with no evidence whatsoever what might have happened. Well, except for the bodies. There were five of them, heavily charred and burned beyond recognition but Sam could still make out the holes in their foreheads as they lay next to each other on the ashes of the building.
And it went on like that.
After England, there was France, Italy, Romania, Bulgaria, Turkey, Egypt, Somalia, India, China, Russia, Russia, Russia…Sam had lost count of the number of places they had went to, always too late, always finding smoking ruins and dead bodies. By now, he was pretty sure that it was the Winter Soldier they were chasing, James Barnes. Sam couldn’t say that he was overly fond of the man but then again, he had never actually met the real Barnes. Steve’s friend. And the Captain seemed to trust him which was good enough for Sam at least for now.
A smile. A fond smile with sparkling eyes. Laugher, deep and wholehearted.
»Jerk. «
»Punk. «
»Language. «
The ghost of a touch and the feeling of warmth radiating through him.
Fear.
Anger.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
James woke up with a start. He hadn’t planned on falling asleep but it seemed like his body was now forcefully taking the things it needed whether he liked or not. It was 5 a.m…time to keep moving. He knew that he was being followed. He also knew that they were friends of Steve. What he didn’t know was what their intentions were. Did they want to capture him? Bring him in? Kill him? Should he let them?
No. Not yet.
He still had a mission. It wasn’t like before when his handlers had told him what to do but a mission he had chosen on his own. Destroy HYDRA. He didn’t really care about what happened to him after that. He just had to complete the mission.
If Natasha was being honest with herself, which she usually was, she had to admit that there was no doubt left that it was Barnes who was tearing down HYDRA piece by piece. And it bothered her, it really did. I should be better than this, she thought after leaving the umpteen ruin in the middle of Russia, I should be able to stay ahead of him. But somehow, she couldn’t.
There was only one place left on the list. Siberia. They all agreed that that was place where it had all begun. Where Sergeant Barnes had been turned into the Winter Soldier and they were running out of time. Once Barnes was finished with his destruction spree, he was free to go anywhere and they had no means left to find him unless he wanted to be found.
They landed the Quinjet in the snow just out of view of the HYDRA base but Natasha already knew that they were too late. She could see footsteps disturbing the otherwise perfect surface of the ground and everything was quiet. Too quiet. They went in nevertheless.
The inside was dark and cold, the air moist and filled with the smell of blood. Soundlessly, they began their descendance into the depth of the mountains, eyes and ears fixed on any movement, any kind of noise. There was nothing. The first body lay by the foot of the stairs, carelessly dropped to the floor, a pool of blood building underneath. The others followed quickly. It wasn’t the precise work they had seen before; these kills were filled with emotions. Rage, hate and sorrow. A man out of control.
Said man was now currently standing in the middle of a big room, completely still, arms dropped to the sides and – Natasha almost let out a row of curses when she saw the other man. Steve. The blonde was standing between the Soldier and them, equally still like he was scared to startle his long – lost friend, shield lying uselessly on the floor. The Winter Soldier held what looked like a chain or a necklace in his metal hand and from what Natasha could see, he was unarmed.
»I knew would come. «, Barnes said and Natasha was a little bit surprised by his voice; she had expected it to be scratchy, out of use, but it wasn’t. It was smooth and gentle, the words rolling easily off his tongue. Slowly, the Soldier turned out, showing no surprise when he saw Natasha and Sam standing behind Steve, but his eyes were fixed on the blonde, a sad smile on his face and eyes that looked like they had seen too much of the world. He was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a black shirt under a dark red hoodie, his dark hair hanging down on his shoulders. He looked horrible. »You’ve always been a stubborn idiot. «, he added, the ghost of a smirk pulling on his lips.
»Bucky? «, Steve’s voice was barely a whisper, his hands shaking ever so slightly.
»Hey Stevie. «
And then Steve broke down, knees giving way and hitting the hard ground and Natasha could see that Barnes was fighting with himself to step forward and touch him but one look at her made sure he didn’t. Her gun was trained on his chest, while she gestured to Sam with her other hand to take care of the Captain and she made sure that the Winter Soldier was secured and brought to the Quinjet.